[SpeedRacer]

I wouldn't put up with someone who was 30 minutes late. If that ever happens again, you should just chat up the other ladies in the bar or go somewhere else.

[Gmac]

(05-10-2013 07:09 AM)Divorco Wrote:  

I just walked out of my third internet date in a row, all three meeting at bars. They all contacted me first. The first one sounded like she was running late, and I was in a bad mood for flakiness. She was a 6 in pictures and predictably a 5 in real life. More importantly, I was in a foul mood and she was almost 30 minutes late. I sat there getting annoyed, not wanting to text because that would appear anxious and beta. I chatted briefly to a younger, prettier woman at the bar, and wondered why I was waiting, and how to handle my internet cockblocker. Eventually she arrived and texted "Come out and meet me". I met her, she obviously thought I looked hot, and then I left while she went to the bathroom. Why should I tolerate rudeness from an average middle-aged woman?

The second one had bad/fuzzy photos with potential for improvement. She came to me and was punctual. She didn't look heavier or older or worse than her pics. But she had a weak chin and very "average" body. Also, she didn't drink. I got a bunch of fake phone calls 45 minutes into the date and left because I didn't want to work for it. She texted me a few times, but there is no great upside here.

Yesterday was the worst. I vaguely remembered not meeting a hot Russian who had been a pain in the ass. She texted me out of the blue and asked me to meet her at a happy hour. The c*nt was over an hour late! Fortunately I grabbed some food and chatted with some cool people. I bumped into her as I was paying the check and leaving. Her appearance was above-average, but not spectacular. She did not immediately apologize, so I walked out.

I have also been on internet dates where the woman is not hot or makes dumbass career/hamster conversation. Through inertia, I order a second round of drinks, wondering WTF I am doing. On the one hand I spent time arranging this. But that cost is sunk, and I can only salvage a few minutes. But now I need to stay ruthless. If the woman is rude or annoying and not particularly hot, then I might meet for a few seconds out of curiosity to she what she looks like. If she is polite and punctual and mediocre then she gets one courtesy drink until I get an urgent phone call.

Fake phone calls? Cmon, be a man.

If the date isn't going well and you do not want to bang, leave after the first drink. It's the most appropriate thing to do if she did not do anything to really get under your skin.

What do I say?

"Hey uh... this isn't really working out for me. I think I'm going to go."

Excuse yourself, pay the bill (in cash) and walk out. It doesn't matter how much time you spent setting up the date, get out and go enjoy the rest of your day or night.

This is why you always have a plan B or C. Also, part of being a well-balanced guy is not sweating shit like a chick being late. You should be interesting enough to entertain yourself. If she's late, it's her loss dude. Move on, but don't complain. Chicks do that shit.

[Gemini]

Hey Divorco,

in my opinion, there are numerous reasons to walk out on a date after 1-2 drinks if you find she is boring/unattractive/rude (talking on cellphone in front of you for example), but her being late is something that I didn't have a problem with. The girls I went on dates with have actually been very puntcual to within 5 mins. Pretty amazing as sometimes I wasn't even ready myself as I assumed they were going to be a little bit late. A few times a girl I've been on a few dates already before was running late but of course texted or called to say that and gave an approx ETA. Anything else would have been disrespectful.

My strategy is to tell them to come over and either park their car at my place with the pretext of free parking underground. Sometimes they choose to just park on my street. If they're not driving, I nevertheless them tell to come over and then we can walk over to the bar together that is a block away. (I live in the city center so that is convenient.) This way (a) I can do stuff at home while waiting for them if they are late, (b) relax and have a drink at my house and get in a good mood, © get them invested a bit that they are meeting me at my place, (d) have an excuse to invite them over upstairs for a minute because I conveniently "forgot my wallet", (e) have a reason to come back to my building after bar since they left their car here.

I hope this helps.

[CJ_W]

(05-10-2013 07:09 AM)Divorco Wrote:  

online dating woes

It sounds like you're dating women that are too old online. Pretty much anything over 28 is not worth it, too many problems with women like that.

Try to go as young as possible there are younger women that LOVE older men a lot more than most people think, pretty much younger women don't usually do that kind of stuff, dealing with older women though is just waay too much work to make it worth anything.

[Gmac]

(05-14-2013 04:44 AM)CJ_W Wrote:  

(05-10-2013 07:09 AM)Divorco Wrote:  

online dating woes

It sounds like you're dating women that are too old online. Pretty much anything over 28 is not worth it, too many problems with women like that.

Try to go as young as possible there are younger women that LOVE older men a lot more than most people think, pretty much younger women don't usually do that kind of stuff, dealing with older women though is just waay too much work to make it worth anything.

That's not really an option for guys who are 50 or approaching.

[funkyzeit]

You did a right thing.

7 years ago, when I was 18, I used to do internet dating. I was young and inexperienced with FGAS pics so 40% of the girls were on the heavier side (BMI 25 chubby at most). While I mostly wasn't attracted to them they were very pleasant and feminine so I used to spend nights in the bar with them as a reward and even banged two of them when I was really drunk. I molded my game mostly on them.

I can't see myself dating chubbies for quite some time and I avoid internet gaming because girls have all the power OTI. Sure, a drink or two were recently ok if she's nice to me but I feel it's my duty to tell her to lose some weight during a conversation. In a discreet way of course, I mask it with "your body should match your personality" metaphor. It worked on one I saw few days ago, she is now slim, hot and still pleasant. And married and blindly faithful.

[Divorco]

(05-12-2013 11:21 AM)Gmac Wrote:  

Cmon, be a man.

"Hey uh... this isn't really working out for me. I think I'm going to go."

This was a very nice woman who came to me. I would probably do her if I didn't have better alternatives. There was no reason to hurt her feelings, and it is always possible I would change my mind.

(05-14-2013 03:01 AM)Gemini Wrote:  

boring/unattractive/rude (talking on cellphone in front of you for example), but her being late is something that I didn't have a problem with.

My strategy is ...

Excellent strategy BTW.

I agree it is not the lateness, it is the attitude. I have had a couple cases where the woman texts "I'm running late" as she leaves her house when she is supposed to be at the date. She is dishonest and rude. Then I am even more insulted when she is not hotter than I am.

Technology has made people overbook and flake a lot. I RSVP to a ton of Facebook events that I don't intend to attend. On my first tardy date, I had made a late reservation at a tapas restaurant to bounce after the happy hour. I barely remembered to cancel it. It was just too easy to click the reservation online, without realizing there is an actual physical restaurant who might keep other patrons waiting because of my reservation. Similarly, women get deluged with online messages act like men are restaurants who are just open to serve them at any time. One flaky woman referred to the online dating site as "the catalog", as though she could just pick a man.

[BlurredSevens]

Dude. Sounds like you've forgotten some of the basic dating rules from Bang.

Here is how I handle online dates:

1. Date location set <1 hour before date scheduled

2. Location is always walking distance from my house

3. "Meet me at XYZ bar, text me when you're here."

4. I don't even leave my house until she texts "hey I'm at the bar" (if that's not an option, walk around the block or just go to another bar until she texts. Just don't ever sit there and wait for her.)

Another trick: preemptively text her that YOU are running late, even though you're not. If the date is for 8:30, text her at 8:25 "hey I'm running a little late" - this is a way to gauge how on-time she's going to be without being needy. 9 times out of 10 she replies "yeah me too, I'll be there at 8:45" and then of course you don't show up until 9...

All of this is nuance, but it allows you to keep hand.

[Frank Mackey]

(05-14-2013 11:53 AM)BlurredSevens Wrote:  

Dude. Sounds like you've forgotten some of the basic dating rules from Bang.

Here is how I handle online dates:

1. Date location set <1 hour before date scheduled

2. Location is always walking distance from my house

3. "Meet me at XYZ bar, text me when you're here."

4. I don't even leave my house until she texts "hey I'm at the bar" (if that's not an option, walk around the block or just go to another bar until she texts. Just don't ever sit there and wait for her.)

Another trick: preemptively text her that YOU are running late, even though you're not. If the date is for 8:30, text her at 8:25 "hey I'm running a little late" - this is a way to gauge how on-time she's going to be without being needy. 9 times out of 10 she replies "yeah me too, I'll be there at 8:45" and then of course you don't show up until 9...

All of this is nuance, but it allows you to keep hand.

Solid advice here...