[cardguy]

We all know men want sex much more than women. On average...

Yet - feminists will often say that women have a sex drive just as strong as men. And weirdly - researchers studying sex rarely study which sex has the stronger sex drive.

Anyway - this is annoying - since it leads to a situation where alot of women genuinely believe that male and female sex drives are the same. And the only reason men are more stupid about sex than women is because ...mmmm... men are more stupid. Indeed - I think it would blow a woman's mind if she experienced just a week as a horny dude.

As a result of all this - men don't get any sympathy for their raging libidos. In the way women do for shit like Post Natal Depression.

So - for those interested - here is a useful overview of the research in this area. In a short, well written article.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cult...-sex-drive

Here is my favourite bit:

Quote:

Given an opportunity for sex, men leap at it, while women say no.

One classic study sent student research assistants out on campus to approach fairly attractive people (of the other gender) at random with the line, "I've been noticing you around campus and I think you're attractive. Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?"

More than three-quarters of the men said yes. Not a single woman did.

[Kabal]

When that study is mentioned, feminists just retort that those college girls said "no" because of social conditioning, just like any differences between the sexes when it comes to sexuality are attributed by feminists to forms of social conditioning like "slut-shaming."

The hamster's disdain for parsimonious explanations knows no bounds.

I had a Baumeister and Voh paper sitting in my Favorites. They have a more expansive, exhaustive list (paragraphing added by me):

Quote:

Is it plausible that men desire sex more than women?

A literature review recently examined the question of gender differences in sex drive by comparing men and women on behavioral indexes of sex drive (Baumeister, Catanese, & Vohs, 2001).

On every measure, men were found to display greater sexual motivation than women.

Specifically, men think about sex more often, have more frequent fantasies, are more frequently aroused, desire sex more often (both early and late in relationships and outside of relationships), desire a higher number of sex partners, masturbate more frequently, are less willing to forego sex and are less successful at celibacy (even when celibacy is supported by personal religious commitments), enjoy a greater variety of sexual practices, take more risks and expend more resources to obtain sex, initiate more goal directed behavior to get sex, refuse sex less often, commence sexual activity sooner after puberty, have more permissive and positive attitudes toward most sexual behaviors, are less prone to report a lack of sexual desire, and rate their sex drives as stronger than women.

No findings indicated that women had a stronger sex drive than men on any measure.

Thus, men are the buyers of sex and women the sellers:

Quote:

In short, we may regard a local sexual marketplace as a loose community in which men and women act as individual agents seeking to find an advantageous deal.

Men will act like buyers who want to get good sex or plenty of sex without spending too much (in terms of time, effort, money, or commitment).

Women will act like sellers who want to get a high price for their sexual favors.

And as to why women are threatened by prostitution and porn:

Quote:

Another common result of shortages of desired goods is that low-cost substitutes become available. Prostitution and pornography may be regarded as low-cost substitutes for the preferred alternative of having sexual relations with a special, desired partner (e.g., Cott, 1979).

The economics of the sexual marketplace would suggest that such low-cost alternatives will be targeted for men and to varying degrees will be welcomed by men. In contrast, women should generally oppose them as if they represent a threat to women generally—which they do, in an important sense.

Put another way, why should a woman care whether men in her community purchase pornographic materials and masturbate? But if pornography satisfies some of the male demand for sex, then it may reduce the total demand for her own sexual favors, and as a result the price she can obtain will be lower.

The paper is interesting throughout. Check it out.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

I posted on this over at JudgyBitches blog (or someplace).

Here is my theory: feminists think men and women have equal sex drives because they're used to men saying "Umm...no!" This is because they're either physically unattractive or off-putting personality-wise.

We all knew women like this in college. Maybe they photographed well or seemed "smart," but when push came to shove, 90 percent of us didn't take the bait. And we all got accused of being "gay" or "intimidated." No. To quote the late Frank Zappa, we felt that being with them would be like fucking a slightly more voluptuous version of our father.

Scroll ahead a few years. These women turn 30 and the little sex appeal they had during their college years has worn off. So they find the guys they meet will screw them and not return or if they return they do it VERY unenthusiastically. Since their worldview is totally female-centric and since they want these men more than men want them, they conclude the sex drives and men and women are "equal."

But I conclude that if you put such men in a room with Elle MacPherson or Kate Upton, you can damn well bet the men's sex drives would be 10,000 times that of women. As for me, give me either Bristol or Sarah Palin and I'll show you a sex drive. To quote an old country song, I like my women a little on the trashy side.

[Hades]

I think of this issue as being complicated somewhat, usually by swpl types, so I'll throw these two lame talking points out before somebody blows a head gasket -

What you honestly think is true and what you believe temporarily (in order to influence your behavior) are two different things.
[1]-If you honestly believe that men have a higher sex drive, you would be correct in pretty much all metrics.
[2]-If you fool yourself that women are just as horny as men, you might behave in a way that pushes harder for the bang under the pretense that she's into it too.

In this way, believing lies can actually be self fulfilling prophecies and better gamesmanship. People who argue and cling to this pretty little lie, however, are missing the point. I had this exact argument at a bonfire not long ago and we got hung up on these two points for hours.

[Kabal]

(05-08-2013 07:31 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

Here is my theory: feminists think men and women have equal sex drives because they're used to men saying "Umm...no!" This is because they're either physically unattractive or off-putting personality-wise.

I think it's more that they want to make themselves feel better about being sluts.

Girls who have high partner counts are invariably more likely to claim that girls want sex just as much as guys; so it's not because they're easy that they've gotten pump and dumped so many times.

Girls with higher partner counts may actually have higher sex drives than the average girl. But in no way does this mean that slutty girls have sex drives as high as guys, nor does it mean the average girl has a sex drive as high as that of the average guy.

[funkyzeit]

The sex drive is the same for both sexes. The difference is that men would sleep with ~70% of women while women find ~20% of men attractive enough.

[speakeasy]

One way that we are different is that women have boundaries as to when it is appropriate to be approached by men. Women only want to be approached under very specific circumstances and are generally hostile to the idea of being "bothered" outside of these designated social spaces for mingling with the opposite sex. It's okay to approach her at a bar, or club, or party. But inappropriate in their minds to approach them at work, the gym, while they are shopping, running errands, etc.

For men, there's no such thing as a bad time to be approached by a woman. We don't have these contrived boundaries. A guy could be at his mother's funeral and if some girl he finds attractive starts flirting, it's on. Men simply want to meet women all the time, anywhere, under any circumstance. Women do not feel the same way toward men. Men are always on. Women are not. And this is where the issue of timing comes in as was brought in in a recent discussion in the game forum. Timing is everything, timing in a woman's receptiveness, how you bridge to the next stage of escalation. Women don't have to worry about timing at all. They just have to make their interest known and everything falls into place for them.

Many women also just don't understand the concept that meeting someone is something that actual takes an active effort. That there are a succession of things you have to do, and hoops you have to jump through. To them "it just happens". To us, it's "no pain, no gain". Only women that are really ugly or in some way undesirable would get this. Most of them don't.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

There has recently been a study that repeated the "would you go to bed with me" and got just slightly lower female acceptance than male.

However, it was done virtually (not an actual person that walks up to another, just a "what would you do" situation) and female positive answers were dependent on the fact that they first needed to be assured that the man was extremely handsome, great in bed and had been screened by her friends first. So it ended up proving what cardguy posted again, naturally, but feminists trumpeted it as some kind of victory.

[All or Nothing]

(05-08-2013 06:59 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

Quote:

Given an opportunity for sex, men leap at it, while women say no.

One classic study sent student research assistants out on campus to approach fairly attractive people (of the other gender) at random with the line, "I've been noticing you around campus and I think you're attractive. Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?"

More than three-quarters of the men said yes. Not a single woman did.

The problem with this is that it conflates sex drive (libido) with a person's desire to have sex with someone random.

What about a woman's desire to have sex with a man she is hopelessly in love with?

The answer is not so simple when you can look at the same question "Who want's sex more?" a million different ways.

[cardguy]

Patrice O'Neal discussed this once on his radio show (The Black Philip Show).

Some pretty girl was in the studio and claimed that she loved sex and had a libido as strong as any guy's.

So - Patrice did the maths. Most guys would happily and easily fuck three different girls 7 days a week. So - he asked her if she would be prepared to fuck 21 guys in a wekk - who she had never met before?

She went quiet after that.

Still - I agree it is more complicated that I first suggested. Since a girl might be happy fucking a guy she loves 21 times in a week (I wouldn't know). Whereas most guys would be just as happy (if not more so) to fuck 21 different chicks in the same week. As opposed to just the same chick - 21 times...

[cardguy]

Also - a comparison of gay men - with lesbians would useful.

And - I am sure men would be even more obssessed with sex - and would push for it even more, if they got any encouragement from women in general.

[Therapsid]

(05-09-2013 12:14 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

Also - a comparison of gay men - with lesbians would useful.

And - I am sure men would be even more obssessed with sex - and would push for it even more, if they got any encouragement from women in general.

It is notoriously the case that lesbians have less "sex" - I have to put it in quotes - than gay men. It's a stereotype, but there's a reason people talk about lesbian bed death in long-term relationships between chicks and there's no gay man bed death. Unless by the latter you mean the dudes killed their bed by screwing too much.

I need to find the studies, but I believe research showed lesbians having higher sex drives than straight women but lower drives than either gay or straight men, which sounds about right.

[kosko]

If men and women had equal sex drives we would still be in caves. The motivation of sex with attractive women is a big part of the reason that we live the lives we do today. When you factor in the fact that women find sex more pleasurable then men then it completely becomes a mind fuck. A female orgasm is 100s times more powerful than a man, and a women will get mini ones, but yet this still does not push her hunger for sex.

And as Cardguy points out if you look at same sex couples it shines a light very clearly on the differences. Gay men have body counts that could fill stadiums while 100% lesbos may have "sex" with a few women in her life at that. Bi-sexuals on both sides are higher up then thier respective genders. To me a bi-sexual female represents the high end of a female sex drive. She still is extremely picky with men but issues the women as filler to up her body counts. The messed up bi-female I dealt with last summer. She was stacking up women like trophys. She was "seeing" a new one each week but was still hesitant and hard for me to bang her as a man.


*****

I should add that I had a very reveling conversation on females and sex with my old professor whom I trolled and ended up fucking haha. She is 35 and is from Turkey and the convo could not stop from going into rank sexual shit. This was going to be a post by its own but long story short it was a mindfuck to literally hear a seasons female hamster in words being laid out here. She had. I issues speaking her thoughts and piece by peice reviled her hamster. She did not fuck since January and did not hunger for it, she found me sexy and attractive but a "spark" was missing for her to want to fuck me... Aka I was not making her 'Gina tingle. I tried to ratchet t up to caveman game and she was not down:

" that over aggressive stuff does nothing for me"
" I feel no attraction for you like that, I do not want to kiss you"
"The spark is everything, if I don't feel it the I can't accept sex"

Garbage like that was spewing for her mouth. I was getting frustrated but I already fucked that day so I was not edgy/eager about it. I used this as a test drive car I could do anything with mostly. I think I started to massage her neck and kiss he soft spots and then that was when she did not resist me going down her panties and taking them off. She was gushing wet, and not long after, about 5 mins later she asked if I have a condom.....

But her openly candid talk on the tingle/spark was the biggest value because she admitted that she will get it just in regular casual situations, or randomly. Attraction means nothing to a female, it's all about the tingle. A random guy can make her tingle and if he comes into her orbit she will fuck him. A girl can come up to me and call me incredibly handsome and sexy but yet it won't go further even if I try to game her.

The goal for men is to put booster cables to the hamster wheel to supercharge it so it falls of the wheel. Getting it spinning to rationalize shit is sometimes not enough. It was a great learning experience, plus I got a turkish flag, and a teacher bang out of it !

[Bill]

(05-09-2013 12:55 PM)kosko Wrote:  

A female orgasm is 100s times more powerful than a man, and a women will get mini ones, but yet this still does not push her hunger for sex.

Maybe it´s a minority of the women with this "super-orgasm". Think of men getting orgasms 100 times stronger than normal. It must be like a high dosis of drugs, viagra and steroids.

[Homo_Sapien]

I'm going to throw a spanner in the works with a few quotes from an interesting book I read on the evolution of sex in primates in which they argue against the standard narrative of sexual evolution which holds that females have a relatively weak libido. The authors actually reference the study you refer to and I would have to agree with them when they say that it is one of the weakest possible references that modern evolutionary psychologists use to prove their point.

Quote:

“Despite repeated assurances that women aren't particularly sexual creatures, in cultures around the world men have gone to extraordinary lengths to control female libido: female genital mutilation, head-to-toe chadors, medieval witch burnings, chastity belts, suffocating corsets, muttered insults about "insatiable" whores, pathologizing, paternalistic medical diagnoses of nymphomania or hysteria, the debilitating scorn heaped on any female who chooses to be generous with her sexuality...all parts of a worldwide campaign to keep the supposedly low-key female libido under control. Why the electrified high-security razor-wire fence to contain a kitty-cat?”

Some of which is going on in this thread I might add.

Quote:

"Comedian Jerry Seinfeld sums it up in terms of fire and firemen: 'The basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we’re doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They’re very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.'

Perhaps for many women libido is like the hunger of a gourmand. Unlike many men, such women don’t yearn to eat just to stop the hunger. They’re looking for particular satisfactions presented in certain ways. Where most men can and do hunger for sex in the abstract, women report wanting narrative, character, a reason for sex."

I'd have to say that, purely from personal experience, women can be just as horny as men within the context of a relationship (however you want to define that) but relatively less horny in day to day life.

[cardguy]

Good points. Maybe this is why women like romantic novels and erotica (such as 50 shades of grey).