I already posted in another thread on China, and I don't want to browbeat the point, but I think this forum has mentioned here and there about the tremendous value Roissy commenter brought to the table when it came to asia intel. I originally asked him a comment in a roissy post back in 2010, when i first got into the game. Needless to say, his response inspired me so much that I had to save everything he wrote. I truly do wish he had started his own blog to share the sheer wealth of knowledge he had. I have to admit his post is almost singlehandedly the sole motivating force for me to go back to Asia/China. I read it every now and then to keep that fire in me alive. It's tremendously long, and perhaps it doesn't offer anything new other than "having game+ good career in asia = pussy", but I think the insight is original and the writing is very good. Here it is:
[b]@SHAN
@Gorbachev:
Of all the guys here, you actually seem to know what you’re talking about.
I can be a little much, but I have genuine experience and I know lots of guys who do.
I also don’t hate women, so no invective.
But beyond what I personally have experience with – nothing I can help you with.
Maybe you can give me some feedback. Here’s my situation:
Asian American male, 22. Just got into the game. Wouldn’t say i’ve had too much failure with women, but definitely not much success. A couple of hook ups here and there, past two gf’s were 7s. I’m working on my game, so we’ll see where I am in a year or two.
This is a good position.
Want the truth?
Most Asian guys, *especially* foreign-raised Chinese, are useless with women. They have monumental amounts of negative game. Just losing the negative game is a big thing. I’ve seen some do it. But the non-game types do things like go back to China to get a pretty wife because their social status shoots through the roof there – but they’re still social losers. The women there say this all the time – nice guy, passport, good money, smart, but a tool. This is why Asian-American etc. guys there are so on the lookout to avoid “sluts” – ie, hypergamous women who are somewhat streetwise. Normal girls, in essence.
They need the repressed, asexual, virginal good-girls, or at least, girls who act this way, because half the time it’s just an act.
I’ve been approached by the Good Girl who assumed I was a white guy-player (alas, correct at the time) and thought – he’ll have sex with me, no consequences for me, and I can still marry Mr. McBoring Asian Guy without suffering. Big dick! (some Chinese guys have massive schlongs, defying the racial stereotypes, I’ve heard). Aggressive White Guy!
I didn’t get much like that, but the “nice girls” can shock. They never tell the Asian guys or their girlfriends what they get up to.
I always warn Asian guys about this: They have absolutely no idea what they’ve landed. They could have the good-girl virgin or they may have a bona-fide secretive chick. They’re almost genetically programmed to be able to absolutely baffle all men.
The smarter the Asian guy, the easier they are to completely fool. I’ve been told this by a number of Asian women – all of good birth, education, extraction and upbringing.
So Asian returnees be severely warned.
BUT
If you already develop some game, let alone lose the anti-game (ie, get yourself a personality, lose the emasculating shit the Chinese overseas mom pours all over you, learn how to confront in public, stop being such a no-conflict back-down settle into the background work-hard type, you’ll also get promoted more, and, …
Lo and behold, you’re going to start scoring hot White chicks.
I don’t know what it is, but non-fat, reasonably well-built Chinese guys with game seem to be cleaning the damned house with white chicks these days. And Asian chicks. Same is true in Korea.
You have *NO* idea how many White, mostly Canadian and Australian, girls are dating Korean guys. Consistently, the Korean guys are macho, tough, and have a kind of Korean game.
This is a good place to be, a good mind-frame.
Remember this: Without the negative game, Asian guys are in as good a position as white guys. With game, a lot of Asian guys can clean house. You may need to adjust it, ie, be more pronounced and have good delivery, but it’s all good.
Anyways, assuming my game gets relatively good here, what are my odds of scoring tail in the home country.
Holy Mother of God,
Get game here, and then go back.
You’re going to mop the floor not only with the Chinese guys, with the White guys, but with the lame overseas Chinese without game.
Dammit, you guys are the ones who repeatedly and seemingly without effort hit the hottest women there.
Things NOT to focus on:
1) Money.
If you use money to get women, Chinese women are the world’s biggest Man Toolers. The very last thing you want is a woman who admires you for your money.
Your education is one thing (it also indicates class and is a character-indicator of its own there, not just an economic indicator). But cash?
Rely on this:
1) Game. I can’t stress this enough. Get game, and get it hard. Practice it.
2) Social context. My job was particularly good – I actually had the chance to regularly meet extremely attractive women. CHOOSE YOUR JOB WELL. DO NOT choose it for money.
Choose it for access. This is what I’ve done and continued to do for years. Tailor your job. Turn down the 15-hour work days; you don’t want the women who want the guy who works for 15 hours a day, because they’ll appreciate it and then fuck someone else when they get bored.
3) AVOID HK LIKE THE PLAGUE.
The women there are easily the most materialistic, money-focused women on Earth. Nowhere have I seen this effect. Actually, HK dating is basically a status/money game. You can use game to fuck hot women, for sure, but it gets awfully frustrating, from what I hear, if you want anything else.
4) Shanghai, Dude, Shanghai. It’s massive, polyglot, anything goes, it’s truly the Whore of China, and any serious players for anything go there. It’s the real financial hub of China; it will end up controlling the entire country within a generation, if it doesn’t already. It’s going to become the de-facto capital of Asia, and the rest of China will sing Shanghai’s tunes.
Beijing is a sad, sorry second – what power it has is entirely artificial. The real money, the real power, everything is in the Triangle.
More or less all the cream and all the sewage collects there. You might have to wade through sewage, but the cream of the cream is also there. Decent people, by and large, despite the stereotypes, but the women –
Wha.
And when you tire of Shanghai proper, skip out to Nanjing. Unbelievably classy town. ALmost everyone is well-educated, and education is the thing there; you’ll find a good number of native Chinese with, say, excellent French, stylish women who aren’t whores, super-hot women who are demure and clever and make great conversations and LOVE it when they have a chance to debate financial policy or the development of free education in France in the 19th century or whatever topic – and by the way, the smart women–
Are absolutely the best lovers. Also, if you have a mind for it, they’re very open and will consider serious relationships with you. None of the usual tooling you get in Beijing or Shanghai, or God forbid, Shenzhen.
Shenzhen is, by the way, the capital of whores. Literally. There are whole blocks of apartments filled with what can only be called professional Whores – “Other Women”. That’s old news. What’s new news is the vast scale that this has approached recently, doubling, then trebling, and quadroupling in numbers in recent years. It’s shocking. Also, being home to millions of no-rights migrant workers, a cesspool of prostitution, drugs (unofficially, of course) and crime.
When Nanjing bores you, and it will, eventually, go to Suzhou for weekend visits or get some excuse to get posted there. Easily the hottest women in the country, but note that they’re very entitled, expect you to Bring It as being the hottest women in the country, and their sweetness (as opposed to shanghai) belies a very a legendarily calculating nature. Absolutely sleep with them; only marry if your game is iron-solid and you have the girl in total domination.
Also, bear in mind that the other Chinese guys all want these girls, so you have to separate yourself out from the hordes of salivating dudes using something – as a white guy, being white wasn’t enough in and of itself; as a foreign-born Chinese, you’d have a grotesque advantage over locals IF you have game.
I saw lots of this.
A junior editor I knew, shitty job, itinerant, had hot women all over him – I always saw him with another painfully hot woman, woman after woman, and I have no idea if he was sleeping with them, but this being 2000-something China, I’m going to go with Probably Banging Them All.
And he was overseas Chinese, had great game, was utterly disrespectful towards his women, and never failed to outscore me at every turn.
I had great luck with married women in China – actually, it was hard to avoid, the myths seem to be true, the sexual culture there produces unbelievably bad Chinese male lovers and many women never have orgasms; whereas with foreigners, they’re often shocked that they can have more than one a night, even continuous orgasms for an hour or more and repeat performances all night and morning.
If you can fuck women properly, they seem to be able to sense it, I’ve never worked out how, and you barely need conscious game. A lot of women, the majority, say they’ve never, ever had an orgasm with their husband – not once.
In a real sense, you’re ruining these women by sleeping with them, but what the hell. If you go to hell for sleeping with married women, I might as well enjoy the ride, because there’s not much I can do to fix it now.
But if you want to fix yourself up with a nice girl, dude, I have to tell you:
You’re in the right demographic, you’ve got the right genes, you’ve got the right attitude if you get game, and if you TALIOR YOUR JOB PROSPECTS NOW
WITHOUT DELAY
And stop worrying about making oodles of cash and maximizing your income–
You will always outscore, out catch and out do the Overseas Chinese with no game who think they just need the best job they can get.
You’ll land hotter women than the HK guys, you’ll get their loyalty, and you’ll take one home if you want.
No joke, no exaggeration, your position is the most ideal. Use the attitude and
GET THEE BACK TO ASIA.
There were times I just couldn’t believe what these guys were doing. At least this is something the Bitter Asian Males can’t complain about: use the right attitude and, frankly, you sexually own that whole damned country.
White males can score, for sure; they can do better there than at home, absolutely; and they can be extremely satisfied with the rather attractive women they get.
I managed to successfully game a very hot Japanese airlines stewardess at one time, and though the sex wasn’t all that exciting, she was bogglingly beautiful, serious I HAVE TO TAKE A PICTURE TO PROVE I DID THIS material, I still wouldn’t even believe my own story if it hadn’t been me that did it, she was something like a Japanese Perfect 10, if somewhat un-funky and surprisingly straightforward, and a very good friend who is also a KAL stewardess – no difficulties there, and the other women were all pretty attractive, moreso as time went on–
But I saw what the returnees did. Jesus Mary Mother of God what one American-Korean guy pulled every damned week, it was like having my eyes gouged out with envy-forged hot metal pokers. This guy was handsome enough, but had monumental I Don’t Give A Shit game and made every other male human being I knew in Korea look like a loser.
He never dated any woman who was less than a rock-solid superheated 9. Not once. Actually, I swear to God I thought some of his women were actual professional models or actresses – they could have been ultra-famous lingerie models for all I knew. Almost all of them had waaay more money than he did. He was some kind of sexual attraction God. No Korean guy in Korea I ever knew could pull of what this guy was doing: Dating the hottest possible women and telling them to get lost when he got bored, it was Tuesday or the weather was going to change.
He was Asian: Korean: American: Fluent: No real money, but good education. And careless game like nothing I’ve ever seen. He truly seemed to not care if his women lived or died.
I occasionally – occasionally – had a woman this guy might have considered dating. When I did, I generally held on to her in some way (it was great for social proof, even if it went nowhere STR-wise). But he always had women I’d have cut out my left testicle for.
I really wish I could just take you there and show you – it had to be seen to be believed. I can exaggerate, but on this I’m not. I may be understating it.
I guarantee without a doubt that a non-ugly game-installed returning Korean or Japanese would have mopped the floor with me and freeze-dried my frustrated testicles without breaking a sweat.
Your position is, if possible, the best. Milk that damned thing for as much as you can get.
Do it.
BUT
But please take my advice about work: Ignore the Beta Chumps and Money Makers from Southern China/HK and their overseas brethren. They’re pissant and stupid and go hunting for some 6-7 virgin from small towns and do the whole family Check thing and are obsessed with traditional values and all that crap. China’s not about that any more.
DON’T go for the money job. Go for the INTERESTING job that gets you ACCESS TO WOMEN. Make this your own damned goal: Think about *nothing else* when you plan to go there.
That job will be your lifeline. You need enough money for clothes, to live well and sock some away. Nothing else. Once you get settled in, you can shift around, but you NEED the social proof and the INTERESTING JOB like you need nothing else.
Heed these words in Asia. Do what I say, and you will be exactly where you want to be.
I simply can’t stress this more or enough, do NOT waste your time behind a desk at a bank putting useless RMB in the bank if you want a good, beautiful woman.
I could go on for 10 pages and it wouldn’t be enough. I think I did go on for 10 pages. It’s still not enough.
You will be able to steal the hot GF away from the rich HK boyfriend with ease using good, hard, shit-test passing game all the time without serious effort.
The other Asian Returnee losers will hate you, and you can laugh as their ex-GFs find you beguiling and fascinating.
Don’t even hesitate for a second: Start planning your relocation exactly right now.
When there:
Get out there and socialize. BE THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY, be quick, mentally agile, socially suave, tactful, *respectful* (this is Asia, after all) and BE INTERESTING.
This is your natural field, your Home-Away field advantage, where you shine like nothing else.
I’m Chinese and speak the language, will be going to law school soon. However, I don’t know how to banter or flirt or tease in Chinese, don’t know the idioms, etc etc. How do Chinese girls view ABCs? Good, bad? Better than domestic? Better than white foreigners?
I answered this.
Your question is wrong.
You don’t need to give a shit about social status. But you still need to bring it.
LEARN HOW TO BANTER. Work out. Be physical. Be smart. MOST IMPORTANT,
BE SOCIAL.
Your social status is the highest there is there on the Sexual Market Place. It doesn’t get better.
If you add game – skills – interest – and social proof: Kazam, you’re the King.
White guys still do well. But you will out-poon absolutely everyone.
Hey, no problem – if people didn’t share info, I’d have been SOL half the time myself. Spill as much as possible in order to better the species.
I got divorced and learned (some) game and moved to Asia about 8 years ago. I stayed there for 5 years, 3 years in Korea (with work-cations to Shanghai and Tokyo), 1.5 years in Shanghai and another 6 months in various places all over. Then Europe, then home for the past while.
No natural game. I was anti-game in the biggest way: a feminist-inspired idiot. A bigger tool you couldn’t have found. It took a year to re-educate me, largely through getting laid and losing the Bizarro-land notions my brain was infected with.
I’ve been rejected so often, I’ve gotten to the point where I consider it a challenge to reverse a rejection just because I want to see if I can do it, even without any interest in the girl. I honestly can’t count the number of times I’ve crashed and burned. You’d need to invent a new kind of math to do it. Multi-layered n-trans-dimensional analysis or something.
If you’re just starting, learn to take it in stride.
When I went to Asia, I had some game and a decent non-English-teaching professional job, some cash (need it to get a place to stay here), a place to live that was carefully chosen for the view, the easy location (need to have people be able to get there) and the impression it gave off; I picked critical elements and carefully chose each one for the effect it would have on a practical and aesthetic level. After a month in Korea, I started to notice something:
Game went way, way, way farther. Sometimes, it was the fact that I was a foreigner; others, that I just didn’t care; other times because I wasn’t an English teacher.
Almost all of the pickups or meetings were pedestrian and not worth reporting – whatever, we all do this all the time, what can I write about. I was inexperienced and got shot down (though less) here, too.
But one particularly shitty day, I was feeling Bad and pulled off something daring. On a subway: packed, and when I say packed, this actually means something here; woman I’d noticed on the platform, hot, maybe 30+/-, wearing a tasteful outfit and Fuck Me high-heel tall boots, quite the contrast. She looked at me, and I just looked at her, respectfully; smiled, looked away. Ignored her. Lots of stops later, I remember it was on the Blue line, must have been near Samgakji or thereabouts because I used to transfer there, she coincidentally managed to sit down after I got a seat, right beside me. I looked at her for a moment when I got up to leave and just slipped her my card. I couldn’t get over something about her, and decided – what the fuck, these other people can go bake in the sun, I don’t give a shit, she’s hot and she sat beside me after exchanging glances with me.
Three nights later, she was in my apartment. She ran a bank branch. Unbelievably circumscribed life. Nobody ever picks up women in a subway here, it’s so damned public and antiseptic. Easily the most insane thing I’ve ever done. Old Koreans would make that tsk-grumble-spit noise if they saw something like that.
It was a little after this incident that I realized that I was missing something huge: There was an undercurrent, a completely different world I could barely see. And then I started to play to it. Once I started, there was really no going back. There were *lots* of Koreans and Korean guys doing the same thing – respectable, honest, hard-working guys, … This is a hard, inscrutable, lonely place for almost everyone. You get that way, too, past caring, …
Not just bad girls or slutty club girls (there’s a massive segment of those here, too – and we haven’t even gotten to the sex-trade workers yet, about which I know much less than I should, given how long I was here; I never really needed to, but when you come here and you can read the culture you can see the signs everywhere).
It dawned on me that pretty much any attractive woman I saw, regardless of age or social status, might be available. Many weren’t, of course; but it was like lifting a blanket from over my head. And I was only looking for a GF, and instead – I walked through the magic door into Oz. Once through, pretty much most of my illusions were stripped away.
China was less delusional. And don’t listen to the bullshit from people like @Truth Speaker. China is the least conservative Chinese country, the big cities are all massive, stressful, diverse, filled with graphic levels of sex, and the young people are getting laid and having casual sex easily as much as any Westerners ever. They have whole vocabularies built around this. The amount of change every year is equivalent in some cases to a decade in the West. the authorities can’t even keep track of the facts on the ground, let alone direct them. The people in the cities largely ignore anything even remotely authoritarian or traditional – it’s more or less completely dead. Communism has killed traditional China wholesale, Feminism sunk its teeth in much more deeply, and modern city life is grinding up whatever is left of anything even remotely traditional there.
The Overseas Chinese are pretty much the last repository of anything that can be regarded as “chaste” or “pure” Asian-Chinese Confucian values. China has abandoned these in its mad rush for social/economic reform. It’s called reform, but it’s not – it’s utter chaos. Anything that looks predictable or straightforward on the outside is an illusion. Wait 5 minutes and it changes; the girl who is all nice right now decides in a year that she’s bored and life is meaningless and if there are no suitable husbands then she’s not going to remain chaste. Might as well enjoy herself.
You, as a foreign-born Chinese, absolutely have to be there to clean up. White guys are really just casual entertainment for these women.
The truth is guys like Truth Seeker are looking for an Asia that is dying a rapid death. They’re much more conservative, raised to distance themselves from Western culture, to admire things Asian–
They can’t see things clearly. If you took out all the people they don’t consider “Asian” or “Value” in China, about 15% of the population would be left. Out go the women who touch foreigners, out go the women who live alone and have a BF or two going on at the same time, out go the women and men who ever have affairs (that’s 50% gone right there), … etc.
You’re left with asexual, uneducated or socially retarded types – the kind that get all High and Mighty here in the states about Asianness.
I always say: Send them the fuck back to Shanghai or Beijing and let them settle in to these places for a while. See what they think of Mother China and its traditional values. China is rapidly becoming the whore of Asia, if not the world: The merchant capital, the manufacturing cesspool, the intellectual dumping ground, the fermenting vat of ideas that might lead to something.
In that maeslstrom, social order has almost entirely broken down on a moral level. Nothing matters but getting rich; nothing matters but social status, no matter how acquired by any means necessary; and the guy with game can manouever through this carefully and delicately and pick out the pretty fruits with ease. Life there is often shit for everyone, and even a ray of sunshine can make the place more bearable.
Half the problem is other Chinese people. I get that a lot from Chinese – modern China is great, but Chinese people treat each other like rabid dogs, good for nothing but being put down, tooled or abused. Like I said, nothing is true about China and everything is true about China. They’re the best of people and the worst of people. Nothing stays the same for long and the only constant is unremitting change.
Big city life there is unlike big city life I’ve seen anywhere in the world.
I don’t need to tell you what you’ll do. You won’t stay there permanently, I know that. You won’t fall in love with the place, for sure; and many things will just never stop baffling you. But you’ll have the time of your life, you for sure, and there’s no place in the world where your value will be higher.
Traditional Chinese Asia exists in Shitville, China and the sticks; but the pretty girls often leave for the cities.
Whatever you want to say about Taiwan, it’s more traditional and less modernized socially, frankly, than China. The same is true in HK, but they have this, … pragmatic (?) materialistic thing there, it’s the social ethic. it’s the major difference between China and HK. You can feel it when you socialize with HKers and mainland Chinese – there’s a definite cultural gap, a pretty wide one. No escaping it. You’re going to enjoy mainland Chinese women and social groups far, far, far more than HK ones. All the returning Chinese have said the same thing to me. Also, more opportunities, more Wild West, more social opportunities, more options, big country, fewer closed, tight social groups you can’t access and that prevent you from clicking in. HK is a very self-defined place, socially. China is essentially an open field.
Enjoy.
Taiwan: quite traditional, but the girls tool guys and fuck around hugely – something Taiwanese guys are notoriously slow to pick up on.
I had an odd situation once with a guy and his cute but not dramatically hot GF (large breasts, though), where I knew for a fact that the GF, sweet and nice and charming as she was, was shacking up with another guy when the BF was on business trips – and I could see the cold, careful and brilliantly stage-managed Sweet Girl performance for what it was.
This was not uncommon in HK, either: talk one way, do something else. Then blame the guy. Sound familiar? There’s no safety from this female behavior in Asia either.
That’s all par for the course in Korea. Once you excuse the 30% of the women who genuinely seem innocent (they get sucked in by the public face of the country, or they’re religious – lots of hard-core, really committed Christians – churches are almost literally everywhere), the rest are basically all free game, taken or not, married or not, single or not. They all watch Sex and the City, all are slightly mercenary with some types of guys (betas with money), and while they leverage their looks/status to get good guys, they’re absolutely not averse as a group to finding some fun elsewhere.
if you go to Korea there’s one rule you must follow or be punished harshly for breaking:
DISCRETION.
Absolutely everything about Korea is Discretion. They hide everything from each other, and you’re expected to follow suit. Never, ever, under any circumstances talk to another woman or man about what you do, who you do it with or where you go. You’ll rarely be asked, and never pressed for info. It’s like a cultural-genetic behavior here, being nosy but backing off when you meet resistance. Do *not* offer information about your love life to anyone, ever.
Women want to know that if they bed you, absolutely no-one will ever find out – ever. Not even if they’re dating you – some people can find out, but not others. I’ve never seen people live such rigidly compartmentalized lives as here.
Don’t listen to fucktards like @truth seeker. They don’t know shit. I’ve been here for 3 weeks this trip, and could easily have spent the night with a ex, another ex, who is currently w/ BF, or a nice woman at the office where I was working who chatted me up (I’m familiar enough now to respect the signals, how she wants a guy she’ll sleep with to respond and qualify himself, and what the expectations are – ie, keep my trap shut, be absolutely respectful of the social order at all times, and not get attached. Anyway, I have a GF here, but I’ve run through that script so many times it bears no testing – I can even tell what she’ll say in the morning when she’d be likely to cock her eyebrow, look at me and carefully ask a question to see if I’m going to tell anyone.
So these Pure, Superior Asians are self-delusional. These Asian women they worship no longer represent anything like a big selection of hot girls, their values have no place in city life in Asia, and Asia is passing them by hard. In 10 yeas they’ll be bitter and Holier-Than-Thou – but they’re mostly just amusing. The reality they understand bears no connection to Asia except in the backwaters, and among the socially inept or unconnected.
And I’ll going to put money on them actually believing anything these women say. Which would be the most tragically hilarious mistake any of these guys make.
Sure, sure – they’re virgins. Sure, sure – they never cheat on their BF (even that one time with the nice guy at work was just, well, you know, it doesn’t count. I’m a nice girl.). Sure, they never let themselves be swept off their feet by some Alpha that they quietly pine for while being suddenly chaste.
Whatever.
trust me on this:
get the hell to Asia by whatever means you can and get yourself a decent job *with the right frame of mind and connections*.
*NEVER* rely on your job to give you social status and money – it must give you social context and opportunities and creativity. If you try to use your high-status job to get women, this will be your calling card. *THOSE* women will still fuck the creative outsider, but they’ll both fuck – and tool- you.
Nobody, no women anywhere on Earth have Beta tooling kits as comprehensive as Asian women. The moment you sniff this, absolutely put the woman in her place or dump her ass. She respects nothing less. This is what the Asian alphas do. Never, ever let her control you the way those HK girls control their men. Claws like saber-toothed tigers. Just take good long looks at the relationships between these Superior Beta Asian Guys and their women. Then look at the Asian Alphas.
Be that Alpha, not the Beta. The difference is so profound, you can’t possibly do anything else to affect your life for the better than that one decision.
The Koreans are more emotional and driven by other factors. But the culture is unique – here you need to adapt differently.
I strongly advise getting someone else’s advice if you’re going to Japan. I had limited experience there, and most of it was weird. I really, really thought they were normal girls, and if they were, then I’m glad I didn’t live there. Psycho-socially, completely different from Korea or China.
Work: I work in media. I’ve had chances to move up into admin and serious management, and barring one unrefusable opportunity in China, I turned them all down. I get to do lots of boring production work and interesting creative work, and as a result:
- I get to travel.
- I get to sit around and read newspapers a lot.
- I’ve worked in most areas of the industry
- I get to stay up late going over mine and other peoples’ work, editing it, commenting on it, and trashing it.
- I’ve collected some weird experience on my CV, so I get asked to do strange projects that no-one else can do. Also collected a wide variety of skills that make me indispensable for smaller projects with lower budgets but are easily the most interesting and most creative. Trick: Creative. This is solid gold with women. That’s a deliberate choice on my part.
- I’ve had opportunities to do my own projects continually, and most of them are really interesting. That’s the gold: I get so much social proof, so many social ins, it’s where I get to insert myself into virtually any social group I need to with absolutely unassailable legitimacy and without even having to work to establish myself. Once in, use your best game. Never fails.
I tend to avoid people in my own industry, though – it’s so rabidly incestuous as it is. Also, much more cutthroat. They’re as likely to stab you in the back as you sleep as help you. And it’s often hard to tell who’s going to do it. The more decent you are, the better you get treated.
That’s another thing about China: Be decent and respectful all the time. You have no idea how many women love this about a man (unsurprisingly). But be a man. That said, so many men are disrespectful, they adore men who are “men” and respect their boundaries (until the moment when you shouldn’t – and then never, ever hesitate, dive in when you realize that this is what they want).
I have friends who are senior execs by now at major media houses; they work 10-12 hours a day, have gray hair, ulcers and harried, largely sexless, unhappy lives. I live very comfortably, am never without good job prospects, which get weirder and better as time goes on, and I’m carefully managing everything as I go, taking on work that pushes my own agenda. Most importantly, I have time. Time is key. If you’re chained to a desk for any length of time, or required to do endless hours of overtime for little reward, your life quickly becomes shit. More money: Your expenses invariably go up. It’s rarely a good trade-off, though sometimes some guys make it work (most don’t; Asian men mostly fail with this balance, with worse consequences than for guys in the US: Life here for the Salaryman is absolute garbage). Getting the hell out is the smartest thing you can then do; and then what do you do?
If it’s managed right from the beginning, you accept the right opportunities and not the wrong ones.
The trick is not to let your career lead you: You consciously choose where it goes and how it gets there. Make sure you get more than money from it. It’s the smart way to work. I clued in to this shortly after my marriage ended and I decided I didn’t want to live for the ambitions of others (ie, my wife). I live very well, but don’t have the newest car; my 401k is healthy but I won’t be eating caviar every day; and my social life very busy (was, until I got myself an apparently more permanent GF).
Law: Pick and choose well. Pick something that gets you access to interesting people but not long hours; not the most money, for sure, but travel and contacts and a bit of a name for being interesting. Remember, you don’t want women to look at you as a Beta Tool or a Way Up: You want them to see you as That Fascinating Guy I Need To Be Near.
Anything else is a waste of time.
Very quickly, you become that guy for them. And then you just are. This is the space you need to be in in Asia.
Just when you’re there, remember: You need to match it with a chatty, casual, extremely adept social face, too: You can mask all manner of linguistic/cultural shortcomings this way.
The social, Interesting Guy will always get the hotter chick than an equivalent Rich, Good Job guy. All things being equal, which they rarely are, it’s a hard life for those rich guys, with their women.
For the interesting guys, …
You’ll have 4 years where you can’t deal with the variety, it’ll be great, and then you’re actually going to get tired of fucking around and you’ll want something serious.
And there, you’re *still* going to be better off than the guys who slaved away, so long as you’re reasonably successful at whatever it is that you do.
As a lawyer – maybe do rights consulting, oversight for international organizations, corporate consulting (with lots of free time between contracts – key – and then intense work periods where you make social connections; you need both). if you really want to score:
Help with legal reform. Become someone who has some expertise and help, say, local NGOs (not international ones), local governments, associations, whatever, deal with the outside world and other authorities in China. Given the stiffness and arbitrariness of the Chinese government, there’s lots of room for these guys right now. One Chinese guy I know gave up a promising law career to do this, Unattractive guy, more or less, but some natural game.
He says the biggest change was women: he’s a good speaker, now, stands out, is brave and get all kinds of female attention. As corporate lawyer, … no.
[b]@SHAN
@Gorbachev:
Of all the guys here, you actually seem to know what you’re talking about.
I can be a little much, but I have genuine experience and I know lots of guys who do.
I also don’t hate women, so no invective.
But beyond what I personally have experience with – nothing I can help you with.
Maybe you can give me some feedback. Here’s my situation:
Asian American male, 22. Just got into the game. Wouldn’t say i’ve had too much failure with women, but definitely not much success. A couple of hook ups here and there, past two gf’s were 7s. I’m working on my game, so we’ll see where I am in a year or two.
This is a good position.
Want the truth?
Most Asian guys, *especially* foreign-raised Chinese, are useless with women. They have monumental amounts of negative game. Just losing the negative game is a big thing. I’ve seen some do it. But the non-game types do things like go back to China to get a pretty wife because their social status shoots through the roof there – but they’re still social losers. The women there say this all the time – nice guy, passport, good money, smart, but a tool. This is why Asian-American etc. guys there are so on the lookout to avoid “sluts” – ie, hypergamous women who are somewhat streetwise. Normal girls, in essence.
They need the repressed, asexual, virginal good-girls, or at least, girls who act this way, because half the time it’s just an act.
I’ve been approached by the Good Girl who assumed I was a white guy-player (alas, correct at the time) and thought – he’ll have sex with me, no consequences for me, and I can still marry Mr. McBoring Asian Guy without suffering. Big dick! (some Chinese guys have massive schlongs, defying the racial stereotypes, I’ve heard). Aggressive White Guy!
I didn’t get much like that, but the “nice girls” can shock. They never tell the Asian guys or their girlfriends what they get up to.
I always warn Asian guys about this: They have absolutely no idea what they’ve landed. They could have the good-girl virgin or they may have a bona-fide secretive chick. They’re almost genetically programmed to be able to absolutely baffle all men.
The smarter the Asian guy, the easier they are to completely fool. I’ve been told this by a number of Asian women – all of good birth, education, extraction and upbringing.
So Asian returnees be severely warned.
BUT
If you already develop some game, let alone lose the anti-game (ie, get yourself a personality, lose the emasculating shit the Chinese overseas mom pours all over you, learn how to confront in public, stop being such a no-conflict back-down settle into the background work-hard type, you’ll also get promoted more, and, …
Lo and behold, you’re going to start scoring hot White chicks.
I don’t know what it is, but non-fat, reasonably well-built Chinese guys with game seem to be cleaning the damned house with white chicks these days. And Asian chicks. Same is true in Korea.
You have *NO* idea how many White, mostly Canadian and Australian, girls are dating Korean guys. Consistently, the Korean guys are macho, tough, and have a kind of Korean game.
This is a good place to be, a good mind-frame.
Remember this: Without the negative game, Asian guys are in as good a position as white guys. With game, a lot of Asian guys can clean house. You may need to adjust it, ie, be more pronounced and have good delivery, but it’s all good.
Anyways, assuming my game gets relatively good here, what are my odds of scoring tail in the home country.
Holy Mother of God,
Get game here, and then go back.
You’re going to mop the floor not only with the Chinese guys, with the White guys, but with the lame overseas Chinese without game.
Dammit, you guys are the ones who repeatedly and seemingly without effort hit the hottest women there.
Things NOT to focus on:
1) Money.
If you use money to get women, Chinese women are the world’s biggest Man Toolers. The very last thing you want is a woman who admires you for your money.
Your education is one thing (it also indicates class and is a character-indicator of its own there, not just an economic indicator). But cash?
Rely on this:
1) Game. I can’t stress this enough. Get game, and get it hard. Practice it.
2) Social context. My job was particularly good – I actually had the chance to regularly meet extremely attractive women. CHOOSE YOUR JOB WELL. DO NOT choose it for money.
Choose it for access. This is what I’ve done and continued to do for years. Tailor your job. Turn down the 15-hour work days; you don’t want the women who want the guy who works for 15 hours a day, because they’ll appreciate it and then fuck someone else when they get bored.
3) AVOID HK LIKE THE PLAGUE.
The women there are easily the most materialistic, money-focused women on Earth. Nowhere have I seen this effect. Actually, HK dating is basically a status/money game. You can use game to fuck hot women, for sure, but it gets awfully frustrating, from what I hear, if you want anything else.
4) Shanghai, Dude, Shanghai. It’s massive, polyglot, anything goes, it’s truly the Whore of China, and any serious players for anything go there. It’s the real financial hub of China; it will end up controlling the entire country within a generation, if it doesn’t already. It’s going to become the de-facto capital of Asia, and the rest of China will sing Shanghai’s tunes.
Beijing is a sad, sorry second – what power it has is entirely artificial. The real money, the real power, everything is in the Triangle.
More or less all the cream and all the sewage collects there. You might have to wade through sewage, but the cream of the cream is also there. Decent people, by and large, despite the stereotypes, but the women –
Wha.
And when you tire of Shanghai proper, skip out to Nanjing. Unbelievably classy town. ALmost everyone is well-educated, and education is the thing there; you’ll find a good number of native Chinese with, say, excellent French, stylish women who aren’t whores, super-hot women who are demure and clever and make great conversations and LOVE it when they have a chance to debate financial policy or the development of free education in France in the 19th century or whatever topic – and by the way, the smart women–
Are absolutely the best lovers. Also, if you have a mind for it, they’re very open and will consider serious relationships with you. None of the usual tooling you get in Beijing or Shanghai, or God forbid, Shenzhen.
Shenzhen is, by the way, the capital of whores. Literally. There are whole blocks of apartments filled with what can only be called professional Whores – “Other Women”. That’s old news. What’s new news is the vast scale that this has approached recently, doubling, then trebling, and quadroupling in numbers in recent years. It’s shocking. Also, being home to millions of no-rights migrant workers, a cesspool of prostitution, drugs (unofficially, of course) and crime.
When Nanjing bores you, and it will, eventually, go to Suzhou for weekend visits or get some excuse to get posted there. Easily the hottest women in the country, but note that they’re very entitled, expect you to Bring It as being the hottest women in the country, and their sweetness (as opposed to shanghai) belies a very a legendarily calculating nature. Absolutely sleep with them; only marry if your game is iron-solid and you have the girl in total domination.
Also, bear in mind that the other Chinese guys all want these girls, so you have to separate yourself out from the hordes of salivating dudes using something – as a white guy, being white wasn’t enough in and of itself; as a foreign-born Chinese, you’d have a grotesque advantage over locals IF you have game.
I saw lots of this.
A junior editor I knew, shitty job, itinerant, had hot women all over him – I always saw him with another painfully hot woman, woman after woman, and I have no idea if he was sleeping with them, but this being 2000-something China, I’m going to go with Probably Banging Them All.
And he was overseas Chinese, had great game, was utterly disrespectful towards his women, and never failed to outscore me at every turn.
I had great luck with married women in China – actually, it was hard to avoid, the myths seem to be true, the sexual culture there produces unbelievably bad Chinese male lovers and many women never have orgasms; whereas with foreigners, they’re often shocked that they can have more than one a night, even continuous orgasms for an hour or more and repeat performances all night and morning.
If you can fuck women properly, they seem to be able to sense it, I’ve never worked out how, and you barely need conscious game. A lot of women, the majority, say they’ve never, ever had an orgasm with their husband – not once.
In a real sense, you’re ruining these women by sleeping with them, but what the hell. If you go to hell for sleeping with married women, I might as well enjoy the ride, because there’s not much I can do to fix it now.
But if you want to fix yourself up with a nice girl, dude, I have to tell you:
You’re in the right demographic, you’ve got the right genes, you’ve got the right attitude if you get game, and if you TALIOR YOUR JOB PROSPECTS NOW
WITHOUT DELAY
And stop worrying about making oodles of cash and maximizing your income–
You will always outscore, out catch and out do the Overseas Chinese with no game who think they just need the best job they can get.
You’ll land hotter women than the HK guys, you’ll get their loyalty, and you’ll take one home if you want.
No joke, no exaggeration, your position is the most ideal. Use the attitude and
GET THEE BACK TO ASIA.
There were times I just couldn’t believe what these guys were doing. At least this is something the Bitter Asian Males can’t complain about: use the right attitude and, frankly, you sexually own that whole damned country.
White males can score, for sure; they can do better there than at home, absolutely; and they can be extremely satisfied with the rather attractive women they get.
I managed to successfully game a very hot Japanese airlines stewardess at one time, and though the sex wasn’t all that exciting, she was bogglingly beautiful, serious I HAVE TO TAKE A PICTURE TO PROVE I DID THIS material, I still wouldn’t even believe my own story if it hadn’t been me that did it, she was something like a Japanese Perfect 10, if somewhat un-funky and surprisingly straightforward, and a very good friend who is also a KAL stewardess – no difficulties there, and the other women were all pretty attractive, moreso as time went on–
But I saw what the returnees did. Jesus Mary Mother of God what one American-Korean guy pulled every damned week, it was like having my eyes gouged out with envy-forged hot metal pokers. This guy was handsome enough, but had monumental I Don’t Give A Shit game and made every other male human being I knew in Korea look like a loser.
He never dated any woman who was less than a rock-solid superheated 9. Not once. Actually, I swear to God I thought some of his women were actual professional models or actresses – they could have been ultra-famous lingerie models for all I knew. Almost all of them had waaay more money than he did. He was some kind of sexual attraction God. No Korean guy in Korea I ever knew could pull of what this guy was doing: Dating the hottest possible women and telling them to get lost when he got bored, it was Tuesday or the weather was going to change.
He was Asian: Korean: American: Fluent: No real money, but good education. And careless game like nothing I’ve ever seen. He truly seemed to not care if his women lived or died.
I occasionally – occasionally – had a woman this guy might have considered dating. When I did, I generally held on to her in some way (it was great for social proof, even if it went nowhere STR-wise). But he always had women I’d have cut out my left testicle for.
I really wish I could just take you there and show you – it had to be seen to be believed. I can exaggerate, but on this I’m not. I may be understating it.
I guarantee without a doubt that a non-ugly game-installed returning Korean or Japanese would have mopped the floor with me and freeze-dried my frustrated testicles without breaking a sweat.
Your position is, if possible, the best. Milk that damned thing for as much as you can get.
Do it.
BUT
But please take my advice about work: Ignore the Beta Chumps and Money Makers from Southern China/HK and their overseas brethren. They’re pissant and stupid and go hunting for some 6-7 virgin from small towns and do the whole family Check thing and are obsessed with traditional values and all that crap. China’s not about that any more.
DON’T go for the money job. Go for the INTERESTING job that gets you ACCESS TO WOMEN. Make this your own damned goal: Think about *nothing else* when you plan to go there.
That job will be your lifeline. You need enough money for clothes, to live well and sock some away. Nothing else. Once you get settled in, you can shift around, but you NEED the social proof and the INTERESTING JOB like you need nothing else.
Heed these words in Asia. Do what I say, and you will be exactly where you want to be.
I simply can’t stress this more or enough, do NOT waste your time behind a desk at a bank putting useless RMB in the bank if you want a good, beautiful woman.
I could go on for 10 pages and it wouldn’t be enough. I think I did go on for 10 pages. It’s still not enough.
You will be able to steal the hot GF away from the rich HK boyfriend with ease using good, hard, shit-test passing game all the time without serious effort.
The other Asian Returnee losers will hate you, and you can laugh as their ex-GFs find you beguiling and fascinating.
Don’t even hesitate for a second: Start planning your relocation exactly right now.
When there:
Get out there and socialize. BE THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY, be quick, mentally agile, socially suave, tactful, *respectful* (this is Asia, after all) and BE INTERESTING.
This is your natural field, your Home-Away field advantage, where you shine like nothing else.
I’m Chinese and speak the language, will be going to law school soon. However, I don’t know how to banter or flirt or tease in Chinese, don’t know the idioms, etc etc. How do Chinese girls view ABCs? Good, bad? Better than domestic? Better than white foreigners?
I answered this.
Your question is wrong.
You don’t need to give a shit about social status. But you still need to bring it.
LEARN HOW TO BANTER. Work out. Be physical. Be smart. MOST IMPORTANT,
BE SOCIAL.
Your social status is the highest there is there on the Sexual Market Place. It doesn’t get better.
If you add game – skills – interest – and social proof: Kazam, you’re the King.
White guys still do well. But you will out-poon absolutely everyone.
Hey, no problem – if people didn’t share info, I’d have been SOL half the time myself. Spill as much as possible in order to better the species.
I got divorced and learned (some) game and moved to Asia about 8 years ago. I stayed there for 5 years, 3 years in Korea (with work-cations to Shanghai and Tokyo), 1.5 years in Shanghai and another 6 months in various places all over. Then Europe, then home for the past while.
No natural game. I was anti-game in the biggest way: a feminist-inspired idiot. A bigger tool you couldn’t have found. It took a year to re-educate me, largely through getting laid and losing the Bizarro-land notions my brain was infected with.
I’ve been rejected so often, I’ve gotten to the point where I consider it a challenge to reverse a rejection just because I want to see if I can do it, even without any interest in the girl. I honestly can’t count the number of times I’ve crashed and burned. You’d need to invent a new kind of math to do it. Multi-layered n-trans-dimensional analysis or something.
If you’re just starting, learn to take it in stride.
When I went to Asia, I had some game and a decent non-English-teaching professional job, some cash (need it to get a place to stay here), a place to live that was carefully chosen for the view, the easy location (need to have people be able to get there) and the impression it gave off; I picked critical elements and carefully chose each one for the effect it would have on a practical and aesthetic level. After a month in Korea, I started to notice something:
Game went way, way, way farther. Sometimes, it was the fact that I was a foreigner; others, that I just didn’t care; other times because I wasn’t an English teacher.
Almost all of the pickups or meetings were pedestrian and not worth reporting – whatever, we all do this all the time, what can I write about. I was inexperienced and got shot down (though less) here, too.
But one particularly shitty day, I was feeling Bad and pulled off something daring. On a subway: packed, and when I say packed, this actually means something here; woman I’d noticed on the platform, hot, maybe 30+/-, wearing a tasteful outfit and Fuck Me high-heel tall boots, quite the contrast. She looked at me, and I just looked at her, respectfully; smiled, looked away. Ignored her. Lots of stops later, I remember it was on the Blue line, must have been near Samgakji or thereabouts because I used to transfer there, she coincidentally managed to sit down after I got a seat, right beside me. I looked at her for a moment when I got up to leave and just slipped her my card. I couldn’t get over something about her, and decided – what the fuck, these other people can go bake in the sun, I don’t give a shit, she’s hot and she sat beside me after exchanging glances with me.
Three nights later, she was in my apartment. She ran a bank branch. Unbelievably circumscribed life. Nobody ever picks up women in a subway here, it’s so damned public and antiseptic. Easily the most insane thing I’ve ever done. Old Koreans would make that tsk-grumble-spit noise if they saw something like that.
It was a little after this incident that I realized that I was missing something huge: There was an undercurrent, a completely different world I could barely see. And then I started to play to it. Once I started, there was really no going back. There were *lots* of Koreans and Korean guys doing the same thing – respectable, honest, hard-working guys, … This is a hard, inscrutable, lonely place for almost everyone. You get that way, too, past caring, …
Not just bad girls or slutty club girls (there’s a massive segment of those here, too – and we haven’t even gotten to the sex-trade workers yet, about which I know much less than I should, given how long I was here; I never really needed to, but when you come here and you can read the culture you can see the signs everywhere).
It dawned on me that pretty much any attractive woman I saw, regardless of age or social status, might be available. Many weren’t, of course; but it was like lifting a blanket from over my head. And I was only looking for a GF, and instead – I walked through the magic door into Oz. Once through, pretty much most of my illusions were stripped away.
China was less delusional. And don’t listen to the bullshit from people like @Truth Speaker. China is the least conservative Chinese country, the big cities are all massive, stressful, diverse, filled with graphic levels of sex, and the young people are getting laid and having casual sex easily as much as any Westerners ever. They have whole vocabularies built around this. The amount of change every year is equivalent in some cases to a decade in the West. the authorities can’t even keep track of the facts on the ground, let alone direct them. The people in the cities largely ignore anything even remotely authoritarian or traditional – it’s more or less completely dead. Communism has killed traditional China wholesale, Feminism sunk its teeth in much more deeply, and modern city life is grinding up whatever is left of anything even remotely traditional there.
The Overseas Chinese are pretty much the last repository of anything that can be regarded as “chaste” or “pure” Asian-Chinese Confucian values. China has abandoned these in its mad rush for social/economic reform. It’s called reform, but it’s not – it’s utter chaos. Anything that looks predictable or straightforward on the outside is an illusion. Wait 5 minutes and it changes; the girl who is all nice right now decides in a year that she’s bored and life is meaningless and if there are no suitable husbands then she’s not going to remain chaste. Might as well enjoy herself.
You, as a foreign-born Chinese, absolutely have to be there to clean up. White guys are really just casual entertainment for these women.
The truth is guys like Truth Seeker are looking for an Asia that is dying a rapid death. They’re much more conservative, raised to distance themselves from Western culture, to admire things Asian–
They can’t see things clearly. If you took out all the people they don’t consider “Asian” or “Value” in China, about 15% of the population would be left. Out go the women who touch foreigners, out go the women who live alone and have a BF or two going on at the same time, out go the women and men who ever have affairs (that’s 50% gone right there), … etc.
You’re left with asexual, uneducated or socially retarded types – the kind that get all High and Mighty here in the states about Asianness.
I always say: Send them the fuck back to Shanghai or Beijing and let them settle in to these places for a while. See what they think of Mother China and its traditional values. China is rapidly becoming the whore of Asia, if not the world: The merchant capital, the manufacturing cesspool, the intellectual dumping ground, the fermenting vat of ideas that might lead to something.
In that maeslstrom, social order has almost entirely broken down on a moral level. Nothing matters but getting rich; nothing matters but social status, no matter how acquired by any means necessary; and the guy with game can manouever through this carefully and delicately and pick out the pretty fruits with ease. Life there is often shit for everyone, and even a ray of sunshine can make the place more bearable.
Half the problem is other Chinese people. I get that a lot from Chinese – modern China is great, but Chinese people treat each other like rabid dogs, good for nothing but being put down, tooled or abused. Like I said, nothing is true about China and everything is true about China. They’re the best of people and the worst of people. Nothing stays the same for long and the only constant is unremitting change.
Big city life there is unlike big city life I’ve seen anywhere in the world.
I don’t need to tell you what you’ll do. You won’t stay there permanently, I know that. You won’t fall in love with the place, for sure; and many things will just never stop baffling you. But you’ll have the time of your life, you for sure, and there’s no place in the world where your value will be higher.
Traditional Chinese Asia exists in Shitville, China and the sticks; but the pretty girls often leave for the cities.
Whatever you want to say about Taiwan, it’s more traditional and less modernized socially, frankly, than China. The same is true in HK, but they have this, … pragmatic (?) materialistic thing there, it’s the social ethic. it’s the major difference between China and HK. You can feel it when you socialize with HKers and mainland Chinese – there’s a definite cultural gap, a pretty wide one. No escaping it. You’re going to enjoy mainland Chinese women and social groups far, far, far more than HK ones. All the returning Chinese have said the same thing to me. Also, more opportunities, more Wild West, more social opportunities, more options, big country, fewer closed, tight social groups you can’t access and that prevent you from clicking in. HK is a very self-defined place, socially. China is essentially an open field.
Enjoy.
Taiwan: quite traditional, but the girls tool guys and fuck around hugely – something Taiwanese guys are notoriously slow to pick up on.
I had an odd situation once with a guy and his cute but not dramatically hot GF (large breasts, though), where I knew for a fact that the GF, sweet and nice and charming as she was, was shacking up with another guy when the BF was on business trips – and I could see the cold, careful and brilliantly stage-managed Sweet Girl performance for what it was.
This was not uncommon in HK, either: talk one way, do something else. Then blame the guy. Sound familiar? There’s no safety from this female behavior in Asia either.
That’s all par for the course in Korea. Once you excuse the 30% of the women who genuinely seem innocent (they get sucked in by the public face of the country, or they’re religious – lots of hard-core, really committed Christians – churches are almost literally everywhere), the rest are basically all free game, taken or not, married or not, single or not. They all watch Sex and the City, all are slightly mercenary with some types of guys (betas with money), and while they leverage their looks/status to get good guys, they’re absolutely not averse as a group to finding some fun elsewhere.
if you go to Korea there’s one rule you must follow or be punished harshly for breaking:
DISCRETION.
Absolutely everything about Korea is Discretion. They hide everything from each other, and you’re expected to follow suit. Never, ever, under any circumstances talk to another woman or man about what you do, who you do it with or where you go. You’ll rarely be asked, and never pressed for info. It’s like a cultural-genetic behavior here, being nosy but backing off when you meet resistance. Do *not* offer information about your love life to anyone, ever.
Women want to know that if they bed you, absolutely no-one will ever find out – ever. Not even if they’re dating you – some people can find out, but not others. I’ve never seen people live such rigidly compartmentalized lives as here.
Don’t listen to fucktards like @truth seeker. They don’t know shit. I’ve been here for 3 weeks this trip, and could easily have spent the night with a ex, another ex, who is currently w/ BF, or a nice woman at the office where I was working who chatted me up (I’m familiar enough now to respect the signals, how she wants a guy she’ll sleep with to respond and qualify himself, and what the expectations are – ie, keep my trap shut, be absolutely respectful of the social order at all times, and not get attached. Anyway, I have a GF here, but I’ve run through that script so many times it bears no testing – I can even tell what she’ll say in the morning when she’d be likely to cock her eyebrow, look at me and carefully ask a question to see if I’m going to tell anyone.
So these Pure, Superior Asians are self-delusional. These Asian women they worship no longer represent anything like a big selection of hot girls, their values have no place in city life in Asia, and Asia is passing them by hard. In 10 yeas they’ll be bitter and Holier-Than-Thou – but they’re mostly just amusing. The reality they understand bears no connection to Asia except in the backwaters, and among the socially inept or unconnected.
And I’ll going to put money on them actually believing anything these women say. Which would be the most tragically hilarious mistake any of these guys make.
Sure, sure – they’re virgins. Sure, sure – they never cheat on their BF (even that one time with the nice guy at work was just, well, you know, it doesn’t count. I’m a nice girl.). Sure, they never let themselves be swept off their feet by some Alpha that they quietly pine for while being suddenly chaste.
Whatever.
trust me on this:
get the hell to Asia by whatever means you can and get yourself a decent job *with the right frame of mind and connections*.
*NEVER* rely on your job to give you social status and money – it must give you social context and opportunities and creativity. If you try to use your high-status job to get women, this will be your calling card. *THOSE* women will still fuck the creative outsider, but they’ll both fuck – and tool- you.
Nobody, no women anywhere on Earth have Beta tooling kits as comprehensive as Asian women. The moment you sniff this, absolutely put the woman in her place or dump her ass. She respects nothing less. This is what the Asian alphas do. Never, ever let her control you the way those HK girls control their men. Claws like saber-toothed tigers. Just take good long looks at the relationships between these Superior Beta Asian Guys and their women. Then look at the Asian Alphas.
Be that Alpha, not the Beta. The difference is so profound, you can’t possibly do anything else to affect your life for the better than that one decision.
The Koreans are more emotional and driven by other factors. But the culture is unique – here you need to adapt differently.
I strongly advise getting someone else’s advice if you’re going to Japan. I had limited experience there, and most of it was weird. I really, really thought they were normal girls, and if they were, then I’m glad I didn’t live there. Psycho-socially, completely different from Korea or China.
Work: I work in media. I’ve had chances to move up into admin and serious management, and barring one unrefusable opportunity in China, I turned them all down. I get to do lots of boring production work and interesting creative work, and as a result:
- I get to travel.
- I get to sit around and read newspapers a lot.
- I’ve worked in most areas of the industry
- I get to stay up late going over mine and other peoples’ work, editing it, commenting on it, and trashing it.
- I’ve collected some weird experience on my CV, so I get asked to do strange projects that no-one else can do. Also collected a wide variety of skills that make me indispensable for smaller projects with lower budgets but are easily the most interesting and most creative. Trick: Creative. This is solid gold with women. That’s a deliberate choice on my part.
- I’ve had opportunities to do my own projects continually, and most of them are really interesting. That’s the gold: I get so much social proof, so many social ins, it’s where I get to insert myself into virtually any social group I need to with absolutely unassailable legitimacy and without even having to work to establish myself. Once in, use your best game. Never fails.
I tend to avoid people in my own industry, though – it’s so rabidly incestuous as it is. Also, much more cutthroat. They’re as likely to stab you in the back as you sleep as help you. And it’s often hard to tell who’s going to do it. The more decent you are, the better you get treated.
That’s another thing about China: Be decent and respectful all the time. You have no idea how many women love this about a man (unsurprisingly). But be a man. That said, so many men are disrespectful, they adore men who are “men” and respect their boundaries (until the moment when you shouldn’t – and then never, ever hesitate, dive in when you realize that this is what they want).
I have friends who are senior execs by now at major media houses; they work 10-12 hours a day, have gray hair, ulcers and harried, largely sexless, unhappy lives. I live very comfortably, am never without good job prospects, which get weirder and better as time goes on, and I’m carefully managing everything as I go, taking on work that pushes my own agenda. Most importantly, I have time. Time is key. If you’re chained to a desk for any length of time, or required to do endless hours of overtime for little reward, your life quickly becomes shit. More money: Your expenses invariably go up. It’s rarely a good trade-off, though sometimes some guys make it work (most don’t; Asian men mostly fail with this balance, with worse consequences than for guys in the US: Life here for the Salaryman is absolute garbage). Getting the hell out is the smartest thing you can then do; and then what do you do?
If it’s managed right from the beginning, you accept the right opportunities and not the wrong ones.
The trick is not to let your career lead you: You consciously choose where it goes and how it gets there. Make sure you get more than money from it. It’s the smart way to work. I clued in to this shortly after my marriage ended and I decided I didn’t want to live for the ambitions of others (ie, my wife). I live very well, but don’t have the newest car; my 401k is healthy but I won’t be eating caviar every day; and my social life very busy (was, until I got myself an apparently more permanent GF).
Law: Pick and choose well. Pick something that gets you access to interesting people but not long hours; not the most money, for sure, but travel and contacts and a bit of a name for being interesting. Remember, you don’t want women to look at you as a Beta Tool or a Way Up: You want them to see you as That Fascinating Guy I Need To Be Near.
Anything else is a waste of time.
Very quickly, you become that guy for them. And then you just are. This is the space you need to be in in Asia.
Just when you’re there, remember: You need to match it with a chatty, casual, extremely adept social face, too: You can mask all manner of linguistic/cultural shortcomings this way.
The social, Interesting Guy will always get the hotter chick than an equivalent Rich, Good Job guy. All things being equal, which they rarely are, it’s a hard life for those rich guys, with their women.
For the interesting guys, …
You’ll have 4 years where you can’t deal with the variety, it’ll be great, and then you’re actually going to get tired of fucking around and you’ll want something serious.
And there, you’re *still* going to be better off than the guys who slaved away, so long as you’re reasonably successful at whatever it is that you do.
As a lawyer – maybe do rights consulting, oversight for international organizations, corporate consulting (with lots of free time between contracts – key – and then intense work periods where you make social connections; you need both). if you really want to score:
Help with legal reform. Become someone who has some expertise and help, say, local NGOs (not international ones), local governments, associations, whatever, deal with the outside world and other authorities in China. Given the stiffness and arbitrariness of the Chinese government, there’s lots of room for these guys right now. One Chinese guy I know gave up a promising law career to do this, Unattractive guy, more or less, but some natural game.
He says the biggest change was women: he’s a good speaker, now, stands out, is brave and get all kinds of female attention. As corporate lawyer, … no.
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