[lurker]

A handful of us on the RVF are established attorneys in various practice areas. Here's a contribution to the community a couple of us discussed - a place where you can ask general legal questions and we'll do our best to answer them. Any attorneys are welcome to chime in to answer questions on the thread.

A couple disclaimers right off the bat are necessary for legal ethics reasons. First, nothing in this thread creates an attorney-client relationship between any of you and any of us. Second, we're not technically giving you targeted legal advice, nor should you ask anything confidential. Posting a question in the forum should probably be construed as a waiver of attorney-client privilege. Finally, nothing in anything we write should be construed as advice to evade taxes, or commit any other unlawful act.

I will not answer PMs about specific legal issues with anything other than "consult a lawyer in your area."

My background: I am a business attorney licensed in California. My practice is mostly business transactional law, with a specific focus in entrepreneurial issues. I've also done a bit of civil litigation and a good amount of pro bono criminal work.

[InternationPlayboy]

Thanks for looking out!

[Screwston]

What legal problems can I get into for sending dick pics?

[soup]

(04-11-2013 07:26 PM)houston Wrote:  

What legal problems can I get into for sending dick pics?

Yes, enquiring testes want to know.

What does state law say about dick pics?

If I send a dick pick to girl in Toronto or Oregon, will the federal government come after me?

Am I technically the copyright owner of my dick pic?

What if I send a dick pic of a dick that isn't mine?

If a girl consents to the dick pic being sent, am I at fault in anyway?

Can I sue a girl if she sends my dick pick to the internet or to her friends?

If a girl is so turned on by dick pic that she has sex with me, can she turn it around the next day and say that I essentially "rouphied" her with said dick pic?

[Katatonic]

Quick question. Say a corporation in Nevada(with an office front that receives mail) has only one employee, who is located in California and works remotely from an office in their home. Would California be able to say that the Nevada corporation is conducting business in California, and thus is subject to their ridiculous fucking taxes?

[lurker]

(04-11-2013 07:26 PM)houston Wrote:  

What legal problems can I get into for sending dick pics?

Well, shit.

Let's take a look at the first thing that pops to mind - 18 USC 2257. My comments and analysis will be in bold:

(a) Whoever produces any book, magazine, periodical, film, videotape, digital image, digitally- or computer-manipulated image of an actual human being, picture, or other matter which—

Ok, first things first. You're creating a digital image. Check.

(1) contains one or more visual depictions made after November 1, 1990 of actual sexually explicit conduct; and

Unless your camera/cell phone has a time machine - which I understand only comes standard on hot tubs - you made it after 11/1/90. Hopefully, you're also sending it to a girl made after 11/1/90. Now, is a dick pic actually explicit sexual conduct? File that one away in the back of your mind until we get to the definitions section of the statute.

(2) is produced in whole or in part with materials which have been mailed or shipped in interstate or foreign commerce, or is shipped or transported or is intended for shipment or transportation in interstate or foreign commerce;

There's a 102% chance with a 2% margin of error that your camera or cell phone was mailed or shipped in interstate or foreign commerce, not to mention that the wireless carrier you're sending the image over constitutes interstate commerce. Oh, but is it COMMERCE to send a free dick pic? The Wickard Aggregation Principle, most recently used to buttfuck old lesbian cancer patients out of medicinal marijuana, probably says yes.

shall create and maintain individually identifiable records pertaining to every performer portrayed in such a visual depiction.

OK, we're getting to the commandments. Here, you basically have to maintain a record of you which contains information on your dick pics.

(b) Any person to whom subsection (a) applies shall, with respect to every performer portrayed in a visual depiction of actual sexually explicit conduct—
(1) ascertain, by examination of an identification document containing such information, the performer’s name and date of birth, and require the performer to provide such other indicia of his or her identity as may be prescribed by regulations;
(2) ascertain any name, other than the performer’s present and correct name, ever used by the performer including maiden name, alias, nickname, stage, or professional name; and
(3) record in the records required by subsection (a) the information required by paragraphs (1) and (2) of this subsection and such other identifying information as may be prescribed by regulation.

That record has to contain your date of birth, true identity, and all aliases you've ever used. The statute does appear to be vague on whether these include aliases solely used to send dick pics, or all aliases. Next time you tell a girl in the bar your name is Peter Guizinya, make sure to add it to your record.

© Any person to whom subsection (a) applies shall maintain the records required by this section at his business premises, or at such other place as the Attorney General may by regulation prescribe and shall make such records available to the Attorney General for inspection at all reasonable times.

The Attorney General can come down and look at your record whenever the fuck he wants, within reason.

(d)
(1) No information or evidence obtained from records required to be created or maintained by this section shall, except as provided in this section, directly or indirectly, be used as evidence against any person with respect to any violation of law.
(2) Paragraph (1) of this subsection shall not preclude the use of such information or evidence in a prosecution or other action for a violation of this chapter or chapter 71, or for a violation of any applicable provision of law with respect to the furnishing of false information.

You have some protections against the use of evidence from your record in other criminal prosecutions, but not here.

(e)
(1) Any person to whom subsection (a) applies shall cause to be affixed to every copy of any matter described in paragraph (1) of subsection (a) of this section, in such manner and in such form as the Attorney General shall by regulations prescribe, a statement describing where the records required by this section with respect to all performers depicted in that copy of the matter may be located. In this paragraph, the term “copy” includes every page of a website on which matter described in subsection (a) appears.
(2) If the person to whom subsection (a) of this section applies is an organization the statement required by this subsection shall include the name, title, and business address of the individual employed by such organization responsible for maintaining the records required by this section.

OH FUCK. You done goofed already. See, every single time you send out the dick pic, you have to attach a statement (generally referred to in the porn business as a "2257 statement") telling the recipient where he or she (I assume she) can find your record, complete with full contact information of whoever you hire to keep that record. (Seriously, go look at a porn site. You'll see this on every single one in small print down at the bottom.)

(f) It shall be unlawful—
(1) for any person to whom subsection (a) applies to fail to create or maintain the records as required by subsections (a) and © or by any regulation promulgated under this section;
(2) for any person to whom subsection (a) applies knowingly to make any false entry in or knowingly to fail to make an appropriate entry in, any record required by subsection (b) of this section or any regulation promulgated under this section;
(3) for any person to whom subsection (a) applies knowingly to fail to comply with the provisions of subsection (e) or any regulation promulgated pursuant to that subsection;
(4) for any person knowingly to sell or otherwise transfer, or offer for sale or transfer, any book, magazine, periodical, film, video, or other matter, produce in whole or in part with materials which have been mailed or shipped in interstate or foreign commerce or which is intended for shipment in interstate or foreign commerce, which—
(A) contains one or more visual depictions made after the effective date of this subsection of actual sexually explicit conduct; and
(B) is produced in whole or in part with materials which have been mailed or shipped in interstate or foreign commerce, or is shipped or transported or is intended for shipment or transportation in interstate or foreign commerce;
which does not have affixed thereto, in a manner prescribed as set forth in subsection (e)(1), a statement describing where the records required by this section may be located, but such person shall have no duty to determine the accuracy of the contents of the statement or the records required to be kept; and
(5) for any person to whom subsection (a) applies to refuse to permit the Attorney General or his or her designee to conduct an inspection under subsection ©.

You violated the law by (1) failing to create and maintain the records. You're also probably going to violate every other section of 2257(f), because now you know you're supposed to comply - and let's face it, you're going to send out more dick pics without the record anyway.

(g) The Attorney General shall issue appropriate regulations to carry out this section.

Ominous.

(h) In this section—
(1) the term “actual sexually explicit conduct” means actual but not simulated conduct as defined in clauses (i) through (v) of section 2256 (2)(A) of this title;

Finally, the definitions section. Does a dick pic even count? We'll have to look in 2256 (2)(A), which tells us:

(A) Except as provided in subparagraph (B), “sexually explicit conduct” means actual or simulated—
(v) lascivious exhibition of the genitals or pubic area of any person;

Yep.

(2) the term “produces”—
(A) means—
(i) actually filming, videotaping, photographing, creating a picture, digital image, or digitally- or computer-manipulated image of an actual human being;
(ii) digitizing an image, of a visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct; or, assembling, manufacturing, publishing, duplicating, reproducing, or reissuing a book, magazine, periodical, film, videotape, digital image, or picture, or other matter intended for commercial distribution, that contains a visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct; or
(iii) inserting on a computer site or service a digital image of, or otherwise managing the sexually explicit content, [1] of a computer site or service that contains a visual depiction of, sexually explicit conduct;

Taking the picture: producing. Scanning an old Polaroid of a dick pic taken after 11/1/90: producing. Putting your dick pic on a cloud backup: producing.

and
(B) does not include activities that are limited to—
(i) photo or film processing, including digitization of previously existing visual depictions, as part of a commercial enterprise, with no other commercial interest in the sexually explicit material, printing, and video duplication;
(ii) distribution;

Loophole! If your BUDDY takes the pic while you're both drunk and you JUST SEND it, you're good! He's in trouble though.

(iii) any activity, other than those activities identified in subparagraph (A), that does not involve the hiring, contracting for, managing, or otherwise arranging for the participation of the depicted performers;
(iv) the provision of a telecommunications service, or of an Internet access service or Internet information location tool (as those terms are defined in section 231 of the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C. 231)); or
(v) the transmission, storage, retrieval, hosting, formatting, or translation (or any combination thereof) of a communication, without selection or alteration of the content of the communication, except that deletion of a particular communication or material made by another person in a manner consistent with section 230© of the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C. 230 ©) shall not constitute such selection or alteration of the content of the communication; and
(3) the term “performer” includes any person portrayed in a visual depiction engaging in, or assisting another person to engage in, sexually explicit conduct.

OK, so what? What's the worst they could do?

(i) Whoever violates this section shall be imprisoned for not more than 5 years, and fined in accordance with the provisions of this title, or both. Whoever violates this section after having been convicted of a violation punishable under this section shall be imprisoned for any period of years not more than 10 years but not less than 2 years, and fined in accordance with the provisions of this title, or both.

Jesus. Fuck my ass.

There you have it.

[lurker]

(04-11-2013 07:54 PM)Katatonic Wrote:  

Quick question. Say a corporation in Nevada(with an office front that receives mail) has only one employee, who is located in California and works remotely from an office in their home. Would California be able to say that the Nevada corporation is conducting business in California, and thus is subject to their ridiculous fucking taxes?

Oh yeah, and they will if they catch it. The corporation would technically be at risk of facing CA taxation, especially if that employee is making intrastate sales or dealing in any other way with CA customers. They're also in more risk than if that employee was sitting in NV and dealing with CA customers. CA corporate taxes have formulas you're supposed to calculate figuring your exact percentage of CA-derived business and foreign business. Also, the corporation would have to file a foreign certificate in CA. This becomes an issue when it gets sued - the first thing a good lawyer will check is whether the company is going to have standing in the state to fight the lawsuit.

Most of the time, corporations that actually do business are going to want to incorp in the state they're functioning in. The golden time to use a Nevada company is when you want an LLC to hold CA property that isn't actually "doing business" by itself.

[soup]

(04-11-2013 08:11 PM)lurker Wrote:  

Well, shit.

Let's take a look at the first thing that pops to mind - 18 USC 2257. My comments and analysis will be in bold:

(a) Whoever produces any book, magazine, periodical, film, videotape, digital image, digitally- or computer-manipulated image of an actual human being, picture, or other matter which—

Ok, first things first. You're creating a digital image. Check.

(1) contains one or more visual depictions made after November 1, 1990 of actual sexually explicit conduct; and

Unless your camera/cell phone has a time machine - which I understand only comes standard on hot tubs - you made it after 11/1/90. Hopefully, you're also sending it to a girl made after 11/1/90. Now, is a dick pic actually explicit sexual conduct? File that one away in the back of your mind until we get to the definitions section of the statute.

(2) is produced in whole or in part with materials which have been mailed or shipped in interstate or foreign commerce, or is shipped or transported or is intended for shipment or transportation in interstate or foreign commerce;

There's a 102% chance with a 2% margin of error that your camera or cell phone was mailed or shipped in interstate or foreign commerce, not to mention that the wireless carrier you're sending the image over constitutes interstate commerce. Oh, but is it COMMERCE to send a free dick pic? The Wickard Aggregation Principle, most recently used to buttfuck old lesbian cancer patients out of medicinal marijuana, probably says yes.

shall create and maintain individually identifiable records pertaining to every performer portrayed in such a visual depiction.

OK, we're getting to the commandments. Here, you basically have to maintain a record of you which contains information on your dick pics.

(b) Any person to whom subsection (a) applies shall, with respect to every performer portrayed in a visual depiction of actual sexually explicit conduct—
(1) ascertain, by examination of an identification document containing such information, the performer’s name and date of birth, and require the performer to provide such other indicia of his or her identity as may be prescribed by regulations;
(2) ascertain any name, other than the performer’s present and correct name, ever used by the performer including maiden name, alias, nickname, stage, or professional name; and
(3) record in the records required by subsection (a) the information required by paragraphs (1) and (2) of this subsection and such other identifying information as may be prescribed by regulation.

That record has to contain your date of birth, true identity, and all aliases you've ever used. The statute does appear to be vague on whether these include aliases solely used to send dick pics, or all aliases. Next time you tell a girl in the bar your name is Peter Guizinya, make sure to add it to your record.

© Any person to whom subsection (a) applies shall maintain the records required by this section at his business premises, or at such other place as the Attorney General may by regulation prescribe and shall make such records available to the Attorney General for inspection at all reasonable times.

The Attorney General can come down and look at your record whenever the fuck he wants, within reason.

(d)
(1) No information or evidence obtained from records required to be created or maintained by this section shall, except as provided in this section, directly or indirectly, be used as evidence against any person with respect to any violation of law.
(2) Paragraph (1) of this subsection shall not preclude the use of such information or evidence in a prosecution or other action for a violation of this chapter or chapter 71, or for a violation of any applicable provision of law with respect to the furnishing of false information.

You have some protections against the use of evidence from your record in other criminal prosecutions, but not here.

(e)
(1) Any person to whom subsection (a) applies shall cause to be affixed to every copy of any matter described in paragraph (1) of subsection (a) of this section, in such manner and in such form as the Attorney General shall by regulations prescribe, a statement describing where the records required by this section with respect to all performers depicted in that copy of the matter may be located. In this paragraph, the term “copy” includes every page of a website on which matter described in subsection (a) appears.
(2) If the person to whom subsection (a) of this section applies is an organization the statement required by this subsection shall include the name, title, and business address of the individual employed by such organization responsible for maintaining the records required by this section.

OH FUCK. You done goofed already. See, every single time you send out the dick pic, you have to attach a statement (generally referred to in the porn business as a "2257 statement") telling the recipient where he or she (I assume she) can find your record, complete with full contact information of whoever you hire to keep that record. (Seriously, go look at a porn site. You'll see this on every single one in small print down at the bottom.)

(f) It shall be unlawful—
(1) for any person to whom subsection (a) applies to fail to create or maintain the records as required by subsections (a) and © or by any regulation promulgated under this section;
(2) for any person to whom subsection (a) applies knowingly to make any false entry in or knowingly to fail to make an appropriate entry in, any record required by subsection (b) of this section or any regulation promulgated under this section;
(3) for any person to whom subsection (a) applies knowingly to fail to comply with the provisions of subsection (e) or any regulation promulgated pursuant to that subsection;
(4) for any person knowingly to sell or otherwise transfer, or offer for sale or transfer, any book, magazine, periodical, film, video, or other matter, produce in whole or in part with materials which have been mailed or shipped in interstate or foreign commerce or which is intended for shipment in interstate or foreign commerce, which—
(A) contains one or more visual depictions made after the effective date of this subsection of actual sexually explicit conduct; and
(B) is produced in whole or in part with materials which have been mailed or shipped in interstate or foreign commerce, or is shipped or transported or is intended for shipment or transportation in interstate or foreign commerce;
which does not have affixed thereto, in a manner prescribed as set forth in subsection (e)(1), a statement describing where the records required by this section may be located, but such person shall have no duty to determine the accuracy of the contents of the statement or the records required to be kept; and
(5) for any person to whom subsection (a) applies to refuse to permit the Attorney General or his or her designee to conduct an inspection under subsection ©.

You violated the law by (1) failing to create and maintain the records. You're also probably going to violate every other section of 2257(f), because now you know you're supposed to comply - and let's face it, you're going to send out more dick pics without the record anyway.

(g) The Attorney General shall issue appropriate regulations to carry out this section.

Ominous.

(h) In this section—
(1) the term “actual sexually explicit conduct” means actual but not simulated conduct as defined in clauses (i) through (v) of section 2256 (2)(A) of this title;

Finally, the definitions section. Does a dick pic even count? We'll have to look in 2256 (2)(A), which tells us:

(A) Except as provided in subparagraph (B), “sexually explicit conduct” means actual or simulated—
(v) lascivious exhibition of the genitals or pubic area of any person;

Yep.

(2) the term “produces”—
(A) means—
(i) actually filming, videotaping, photographing, creating a picture, digital image, or digitally- or computer-manipulated image of an actual human being;
(ii) digitizing an image, of a visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct; or, assembling, manufacturing, publishing, duplicating, reproducing, or reissuing a book, magazine, periodical, film, videotape, digital image, or picture, or other matter intended for commercial distribution, that contains a visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct; or
(iii) inserting on a computer site or service a digital image of, or otherwise managing the sexually explicit content, [1] of a computer site or service that contains a visual depiction of, sexually explicit conduct;

Taking the picture: producing. Scanning an old Polaroid of a dick pic taken after 11/1/90: producing. Putting your dick pic on a cloud backup: producing.

and
(B) does not include activities that are limited to—
(i) photo or film processing, including digitization of previously existing visual depictions, as part of a commercial enterprise, with no other commercial interest in the sexually explicit material, printing, and video duplication;
(ii) distribution;

Loophole! If your BUDDY takes the pic while you're both drunk and you JUST SEND it, you're good! He's in trouble though.

(iii) any activity, other than those activities identified in subparagraph (A), that does not involve the hiring, contracting for, managing, or otherwise arranging for the participation of the depicted performers;
(iv) the provision of a telecommunications service, or of an Internet access service or Internet information location tool (as those terms are defined in section 231 of the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C. 231)); or
(v) the transmission, storage, retrieval, hosting, formatting, or translation (or any combination thereof) of a communication, without selection or alteration of the content of the communication, except that deletion of a particular communication or material made by another person in a manner consistent with section 230© of the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C. 230 ©) shall not constitute such selection or alteration of the content of the communication; and
(3) the term “performer” includes any person portrayed in a visual depiction engaging in, or assisting another person to engage in, sexually explicit conduct.

OK, so what? What's the worst they could do?

(i) Whoever violates this section shall be imprisoned for not more than 5 years, and fined in accordance with the provisions of this title, or both. Whoever violates this section after having been convicted of a violation punishable under this section shall be imprisoned for any period of years not more than 10 years but not less than 2 years, and fined in accordance with the provisions of this title, or both.

Jesus. Fuck my ass.

There you have it.

DAMMN, NECCA!

Well, what if it's just a pic of your dick without any other identifying characteristics?

If they try to identify you, will you have to get an erection in front of everyone in the court room?

Can the law force you to get an erection?

Are there dick "fingerprints" that detectives (dicks .. heh) use to identify that a dick pick belongs to the dick holder/owner?

Does it matter if it's flacid or not? If it's not hard, is it really pornography?

What if you take a dick pic of Michelangelo's David's dick, and color it in with flesh tone to look like a dick?

What if you send an image that is lit in a way that it's not so clear that it's a dick?

[Katatonic]

(04-11-2013 08:21 PM)lurker Wrote:  

(04-11-2013 07:54 PM)Katatonic Wrote:  

Quick question. Say a corporation in Nevada(with an office front that receives mail) has only one employee, who is located in California and works remotely from an office in their home. Would California be able to say that the Nevada corporation is conducting business in California, and thus is subject to their ridiculous fucking taxes?

Oh yeah, and they will if they catch it. The corporation would technically be at risk of facing CA taxation, especially if that employee is making intrastate sales or dealing in any other way with CA customers. They're also in more risk than if that employee was sitting in NV and dealing with CA customers. CA corporate taxes have formulas you're supposed to calculate figuring your exact percentage of CA-derived business and foreign business. Also, the corporation would have to file a foreign certificate in CA. This becomes an issue when it gets sued - the first thing a good lawyer will check is whether the company is going to have standing in the state to fight the lawsuit.

Most of the time, corporations that actually do business are going to want to incorp in the state they're functioning in. The golden time to use a Nevada company is when you want an LLC to hold CA property that isn't actually "doing business" by itself.

Thank you very much.

So basically the only the real advantage of having a Nevada corporation, is for it to be a holding company? Can the NV holding company lease equipment(computers, office furniture, etc) to the CA company?

[Kickb]

Would an assertion that the picture she recieved was not my actual penis but a prosthetic - that looks like my penis- hold up in court? Or maybe it was my thumb, Photoshopped to look like a penis?

[lurker]

(04-11-2013 07:42 PM)soup Wrote:  

Yes, enquiring testes want to know.

What does state law say about dick pics?

That I don't know. It undoubtedly depends on the state.

(04-11-2013 07:42 PM)soup Wrote:  

If I send a dick pick to girl in Toronto or Oregon, will the federal government come after me?

Probably not.

(04-11-2013 07:42 PM)soup Wrote:  

Am I technically the copyright owner of my dick pic?

If you took it.

(04-11-2013 07:42 PM)soup Wrote:  

What if I send a dick pic of a dick that isn't mine?

Gray area. Did you produce the pic? Is the dick 18+? Do you have permission?

(04-11-2013 07:42 PM)soup Wrote:  

If a girl consents to the dick pic being sent, am I at fault in anyway?

See the discussion of 18 USC 2257, supra. Supra is a fancy-ass Latin word lawyers use meaning "above." It's italicized as a reference signal, and because it's motherfucking Latin. Respeck.

Caveat. If she's under the age of 18 you're an idiot.

(04-11-2013 07:42 PM)soup Wrote:  

Can I sue a girl if she sends my dick pick to the internet or to her friends?

Did she Photoshop it to make it look smaller? Truth is an absolute defense to libel.

(04-11-2013 07:42 PM)soup Wrote:  

If a girl is so turned on by dick pic that she has sex with me, can she turn it around the next day and say that I essentially "rouphied" her with said dick pic?

Hmmm. Let's say YOU Photoshopped it to look bigger, proximately causing her to become aroused and seek you out for intercourse. She could claim rape by false pretenses, a claim that hasn't been so far successful in the USA but worked in Israel when a filthy godless Arab desecrated a holy Hebrew's Second Temple by telling her he was Jewish.

[lurker]

(04-11-2013 08:30 PM)Katatonic Wrote:  

So basically the only the real advantage of having a Nevada corporation, is for it to be a holding company?

Hardly. There are many advantages to incorporation in certain states. The main reason people incorp in NV and DE isn't for tax purposes, it's because the courts of those states are traditionally favorable towards corporate interests, and have specialized dockets or knowledgeable judges who can resolve matters more quickly than others.

The real players incorporate in English common law territories and in Luxembourg. When your corp is worth some true fat stacks, we can talk about that.

(04-11-2013 08:30 PM)Katatonic Wrote:  

Can the NV holding company lease equipment(computers, office furniture, etc) to the CA company?

I don't see why not. It would be income to the NV company and a business expense to the CA company.

[soup]

I this thread

[Kickb]

Here's a question that could be answered with a yes or no answer. I know you don't want to get into tax evasion and what not.

Is it possible for a drug dealer buy a house if he doesn't have a real job to prove he has a legitimate source of income?

[lurker]

(04-11-2013 08:44 PM)kickboxer Wrote:  

Here's a question that could be answered with a yes or no answer. I know you don't want to get into tax evasion and what not.

Is it possible for a drug dealer buy a house if he doesn't have a real job to prove he has a legitimate source of income?

Yes. It will go something like this:

Mr. and Mrs. Seller: It's a nice house, don't you think?
DRUG DEALER BUYER: I like it! By the way, I only have the full purchase price in cash, meaning you get paid all now instead of having to worry about whether I can find financing or sell my other house to cover it or any one of a thousand other problems that could fuck this up in escrow. Is that OK?
S: Uhhhh... sure.

Now, can DDB finance the house? That's a different story, and one that has nothing to do with law. If you have money, though, you have options. He could, for instance, always create a company with his funds that paid him a salary for income purposes...

[Screwston]

What if I go online and download someone else's dick pic to my phone an send that to girls? Then what happens if the girl gets mad and goes to the cops for harassment or whatever.

[Katatonic]

(04-11-2013 08:40 PM)soup Wrote:  

I this thread

No shit. If I had the ability to give him reputation I would.

[Kickb]

Hmm that's what I thought. The only issue is money laundering. One would need a talented accountant.

[aphelion]

(04-11-2013 08:11 PM)lurker Wrote:  

(04-11-2013 07:26 PM)houston Wrote:  

What legal problems can I get into for sending dick pics?

Well, shit.

Let's take a look at the first thing that pops to mind - 18 USC 2257. My comments and analysis will be in bold:

(a) Whoever produces any book, magazine, periodical, film, videotape, digital image, digitally- or computer-manipulated image of an actual human being, picture, or other matter which—

Ok, first things first. You're creating a digital image. Check.

(1) contains one or more visual depictions made after November 1, 1990 of actual sexually explicit conduct; and

Unless your camera/cell phone has a time machine - which I understand only comes standard on hot tubs - you made it after 11/1/90. Hopefully, you're also sending it to a girl made after 11/1/90. Now, is a dick pic actually explicit sexual conduct? File that one away in the back of your mind until we get to the definitions section of the statute.

(2) is produced in whole or in part with materials which have been mailed or shipped in interstate or foreign commerce, or is shipped or transported or is intended for shipment or transportation in interstate or foreign commerce;

There's a 102% chance with a 2% margin of error that your camera or cell phone was mailed or shipped in interstate or foreign commerce, not to mention that the wireless carrier you're sending the image over constitutes interstate commerce. Oh, but is it COMMERCE to send a free dick pic? The Wickard Aggregation Principle, most recently used to buttfuck old lesbian cancer patients out of medicinal marijuana, probably says yes.

shall create and maintain individually identifiable records pertaining to every performer portrayed in such a visual depiction.

OK, we're getting to the commandments. Here, you basically have to maintain a record of you which contains information on your dick pics.

(b) Any person to whom subsection (a) applies shall, with respect to every performer portrayed in a visual depiction of actual sexually explicit conduct—
(1) ascertain, by examination of an identification document containing such information, the performer’s name and date of birth, and require the performer to provide such other indicia of his or her identity as may be prescribed by regulations;
(2) ascertain any name, other than the performer’s present and correct name, ever used by the performer including maiden name, alias, nickname, stage, or professional name; and
(3) record in the records required by subsection (a) the information required by paragraphs (1) and (2) of this subsection and such other identifying information as may be prescribed by regulation.

That record has to contain your date of birth, true identity, and all aliases you've ever used. The statute does appear to be vague on whether these include aliases solely used to send dick pics, or all aliases. Next time you tell a girl in the bar your name is Peter Guizinya, make sure to add it to your record.

© Any person to whom subsection (a) applies shall maintain the records required by this section at his business premises, or at such other place as the Attorney General may by regulation prescribe and shall make such records available to the Attorney General for inspection at all reasonable times.

The Attorney General can come down and look at your record whenever the fuck he wants, within reason.

(d)
(1) No information or evidence obtained from records required to be created or maintained by this section shall, except as provided in this section, directly or indirectly, be used as evidence against any person with respect to any violation of law.
(2) Paragraph (1) of this subsection shall not preclude the use of such information or evidence in a prosecution or other action for a violation of this chapter or chapter 71, or for a violation of any applicable provision of law with respect to the furnishing of false information.

You have some protections against the use of evidence from your record in other criminal prosecutions, but not here.

(e)
(1) Any person to whom subsection (a) applies shall cause to be affixed to every copy of any matter described in paragraph (1) of subsection (a) of this section, in such manner and in such form as the Attorney General shall by regulations prescribe, a statement describing where the records required by this section with respect to all performers depicted in that copy of the matter may be located. In this paragraph, the term “copy” includes every page of a website on which matter described in subsection (a) appears.
(2) If the person to whom subsection (a) of this section applies is an organization the statement required by this subsection shall include the name, title, and business address of the individual employed by such organization responsible for maintaining the records required by this section.

OH FUCK. You done goofed already. See, every single time you send out the dick pic, you have to attach a statement (generally referred to in the porn business as a "2257 statement") telling the recipient where he or she (I assume she) can find your record, complete with full contact information of whoever you hire to keep that record. (Seriously, go look at a porn site. You'll see this on every single one in small print down at the bottom.)

(f) It shall be unlawful—
(1) for any person to whom subsection (a) applies to fail to create or maintain the records as required by subsections (a) and © or by any regulation promulgated under this section;
(2) for any person to whom subsection (a) applies knowingly to make any false entry in or knowingly to fail to make an appropriate entry in, any record required by subsection (b) of this section or any regulation promulgated under this section;
(3) for any person to whom subsection (a) applies knowingly to fail to comply with the provisions of subsection (e) or any regulation promulgated pursuant to that subsection;
(4) for any person knowingly to sell or otherwise transfer, or offer for sale or transfer, any book, magazine, periodical, film, video, or other matter, produce in whole or in part with materials which have been mailed or shipped in interstate or foreign commerce or which is intended for shipment in interstate or foreign commerce, which—
(A) contains one or more visual depictions made after the effective date of this subsection of actual sexually explicit conduct; and
(B) is produced in whole or in part with materials which have been mailed or shipped in interstate or foreign commerce, or is shipped or transported or is intended for shipment or transportation in interstate or foreign commerce;
which does not have affixed thereto, in a manner prescribed as set forth in subsection (e)(1), a statement describing where the records required by this section may be located, but such person shall have no duty to determine the accuracy of the contents of the statement or the records required to be kept; and
(5) for any person to whom subsection (a) applies to refuse to permit the Attorney General or his or her designee to conduct an inspection under subsection ©.

You violated the law by (1) failing to create and maintain the records. You're also probably going to violate every other section of 2257(f), because now you know you're supposed to comply - and let's face it, you're going to send out more dick pics without the record anyway.

(g) The Attorney General shall issue appropriate regulations to carry out this section.

Ominous.

(h) In this section—
(1) the term “actual sexually explicit conduct” means actual but not simulated conduct as defined in clauses (i) through (v) of section 2256 (2)(A) of this title;

Finally, the definitions section. Does a dick pic even count? We'll have to look in 2256 (2)(A), which tells us:

(A) Except as provided in subparagraph (B), “sexually explicit conduct” means actual or simulated—
(v) lascivious exhibition of the genitals or pubic area of any person;

Yep.

(2) the term “produces”—
(A) means—
(i) actually filming, videotaping, photographing, creating a picture, digital image, or digitally- or computer-manipulated image of an actual human being;
(ii) digitizing an image, of a visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct; or, assembling, manufacturing, publishing, duplicating, reproducing, or reissuing a book, magazine, periodical, film, videotape, digital image, or picture, or other matter intended for commercial distribution, that contains a visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct; or
(iii) inserting on a computer site or service a digital image of, or otherwise managing the sexually explicit content, [1] of a computer site or service that contains a visual depiction of, sexually explicit conduct;

Taking the picture: producing. Scanning an old Polaroid of a dick pic taken after 11/1/90: producing. Putting your dick pic on a cloud backup: producing.

and
(B) does not include activities that are limited to—
(i) photo or film processing, including digitization of previously existing visual depictions, as part of a commercial enterprise, with no other commercial interest in the sexually explicit material, printing, and video duplication;
(ii) distribution;

Loophole! If your BUDDY takes the pic while you're both drunk and you JUST SEND it, you're good! He's in trouble though.

(iii) any activity, other than those activities identified in subparagraph (A), that does not involve the hiring, contracting for, managing, or otherwise arranging for the participation of the depicted performers;
(iv) the provision of a telecommunications service, or of an Internet access service or Internet information location tool (as those terms are defined in section 231 of the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C. 231)); or
(v) the transmission, storage, retrieval, hosting, formatting, or translation (or any combination thereof) of a communication, without selection or alteration of the content of the communication, except that deletion of a particular communication or material made by another person in a manner consistent with section 230© of the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C. 230 ©) shall not constitute such selection or alteration of the content of the communication; and
(3) the term “performer” includes any person portrayed in a visual depiction engaging in, or assisting another person to engage in, sexually explicit conduct.

OK, so what? What's the worst they could do?

(i) Whoever violates this section shall be imprisoned for not more than 5 years, and fined in accordance with the provisions of this title, or both. Whoever violates this section after having been convicted of a violation punishable under this section shall be imprisoned for any period of years not more than 10 years but not less than 2 years, and fined in accordance with the provisions of this title, or both.

Jesus. Fuck my ass.

There you have it.

[soup]

Here's another one for the RVF legal team:

If you "pay" a prostitute in fake money, is it still technically prostitution?

This is for all the guys out there who get off on the kink of boning a whore, but want to maintain the dignity of saying they got the notch without p4p.

[username]

How difficult is it to merge two S corporations in two different states (Nevada and California), both have the same one shareholder, and with the Nevada one being the surviving corporation?

California corporation has no real estate, owns one vehicle outright, has no debt or liens, no contracts, some equipment, and no trademarks or patents.

[lurker]

(04-11-2013 10:25 PM)username Wrote:  

How difficult is it to merge two S corporations in two different states (Nevada and California), both have the same one shareholder, and with the Nevada one being the surviving corporation?

California corporation has no real estate, owns one vehicle outright, has no debt or liens, no contracts, some equipment, and no trademarks or patents.

Truth be told, I'm not sure. My gut says it can't be that hard. The back of my head says an S-Corp can own another S-Corp as a qualified S-Corp subsidiary despite the general rule that entities can't hold S-Corp stock, but that may be wrong depending on other variables. The part of my brain that does have experience with IRS treatments of the matter is screaming at the rest of it about how much of an utter pain in the ass complying with revenue code provisions regarding S taxation are.

I could think up a couple options -

1. have the CA S-corp dissolve and distribute the assets to the SH, who then contributes them to the NV entity - but this might trigger a taxable gain to the SH, as one major disadvantage of S-Corps is their occasionally odd treatment of basis in property.

This may not be an issue for a couple reasons. One, the company has no debt - I learned way back in a law school tax practicum that the biggest fuckup in S-Corp basis treatment is the inability of SH to get basis in nonrecourse loans made by the entity. Two, you're dealing with a vehicle and equipment, which should have dropped in value instead of gained.

2. Convert the CA S-corp to an LLC or C-corp, then have the NV S-corp take it over. Cons: conversion fees, sham transaction treatment. Latter probably not an issue because of lack of gains in basis value.

3. Have the CA S-Corp sell all assets at FMV to the NV S-Corp. As passthrough entities, they net to no tax gain for the owner. Dissolve the CA S-Corp.

4. You might just be able to merge the damn things. Google tells me they may (but not necessarily will) be able to merge under something called a 368(a)(1)(A) reorg tax-free. I have never heard of this code section before, and know nothing about it.

Consult a lawyer you know and pay before doing any of these, preferably one with tax experience. S-Corporations can have some tricky mines in the road as far as the IRS is concerned and I could be missing something major on any or all of them.

[Tuthmosis]

What are the legal implications of running video (or audio) in your home to protect yourself from false rape accusations or other legal risks stemming from otherwise ethical, and legal, behavior as a bachelor?

I'm hearing conflicting reports--some stating it's categorically illegal, others that it can be legal under certain circumstances. Still others report that it varies by jurisdiction.

Whatever the case, the only media I have ever taken has been created with the full knowledge and consent of the participant(s).

[RXB]

I’m starting a sole proprietorship for my blog to get a tax write off from the money I put into it. Is this a good idea, or is there something else that you'd recommend?

[lurker]

(04-11-2013 09:53 PM)soup Wrote:  

Here's another one for the RVF legal team:

If you "pay" a prostitute in fake money, is it still technically prostitution?

This is for all the guys out there who get off on the kink of boning a whore, but want to maintain the dignity of saying they got the notch without p4p.

Probably. You're even worse off on the counterfeit money.