[Shadowarrior]

Yesterday, I was out with a group of friends at a bar and I was talking to this girl who was a friend of a friend. We talked for about 15-20 minutes. Really good convo: eye contact, a little kino and I felt like we connected really well. Towards the end, my guy friend makes a weird comment to her about looking at his dick. She had looked at his pants because he said he needed to go home and change his pants. Then, the group bounces to another bar. Here, I started to lose her a bit because we were playing shuffleboard, and I fucking sucked. (despite that, through out the whole night, there was eye contact, teasing, kino and smiling on her part). However, that same guy friend from before was sort of stealing the stage by negging her, talking to her and occasionally disrupting the conversations between her and I. At one point in the night, I overheard one my female friends trying to get this girl to go home with me(God bless her, I did not tell her to do this). This female friend was also trying to get my other guy friend to give the girl and I space to talk and escalate, but either he didn't get the info or was acting like an immature asshole. This is weird to me because he has a girlfriend and he knows I'm a virgin(needing to get laid) and he is usually a cool guy. But I am beginning to notice that there's been a couple of times where he sort of gets in my way when I'm trying to escalate with a girl. But I can't tell if it's just jealousy on my part, or if he's clueless or if he's just an asshole. What do you think? Is that cockblocking? If so,(and even if it wasn't intentional cockblocking), how do you deal with a situation where you know a girl is interested in you, but there is a friend in your group who seems to be stealing the show?

[Jaylow]

Don't hang out with him anymore. Hes not treating you like a friend.

[HonantheBarbarian]

Dude sounds like a dick, sorry.

[Shadowarrior]

what if he is part of your circle of friends that you hang out with? I'm a grad program, and he's in the same one, so inevitably he will show up. any cockblock defenses in a situation like that?

[kenmoreISburning]

He sounds like a jerk no matter what, but maybe he doesn't realize how he is messing up your game. Why not talk to him about it? Tell him to give you some space. If he is a friend like you say he is, he should back off and let you operate. If not, you might have to take more extreme measures.

[Peregrine]

Have you tried talking to him about it (in private)?

[Every10GivesMeA10]

[Shadowarrior]

I don't like to talk to guys about that because it gets a little weird like they pretend there was nothing between you and the girl. And sometimes the guy will fuck things up with the girl: they will give you bad advice, act as a bad wing man, or worse yet, go behind your back to get the girl.

Maybe I will...but in an indirect way.

[teh_skeeze]

Just because you have to associate with him doesn't mean you have to be friends with him. I had a friend like this in high school. Eventually the kid went as far as to write up a fake AIM conversation to win a girl that we were both talking to. It ended up biting the stupid bitch in the ass in the end, and I got my revenge without even trying a year or so later.

I'd say that the next time he does it to sucker punch him in the throat. I'm not sure you could get away with that though. Real friends don't get in the way when you are trying to get some.

[MrXY]

Go out solo. Problem solved.

[lampshade]

You could try basically ignoring him.

Whenever he interrupts you, just kind of look at him like he's an annoying fly on the wall (not with anger, but with disgust), and don't react to what he says at all, then immediately go back to what you were saying to the girl before he interrupted.

You can also use the "leave em with the loser" tactic, where any time he interrupts and starts trying to talk 1 on 1 with the girl, just eject yourself silently and immediately go talk to someone else. If you do this enough, eventually the girl will get the impression that if she wants to talk to him, that she can't talk to you, or that he is a person to be avoided for some reason. If she is really interested in you, after you eject, she should come join you wherever you went, and when she comes over, say something like "how was it talking to dr.pants?" and grin knowingly when you say "dr.pants" (give him some kind of a nickname based on something she doesn't like about him, or if you can't think of anything, just pick some feature of him that stands out, or you can use something like "dr.love" or "casanova" -- the point is be sarcastic and point out this flaw). This should poison the well for his chances with her, since you're acting like everyone would know if she hooked up with this guy with the stained pants. A bit underhanded, I suppose, but hey, all is in fair in love and war.

I would also say you should work on your body language when you're around this guy. If anything, I say he is trying to keep you in a position of being powerless so he can feel powerful. I've seen it before with some of my male friends, and I've found myself doing it to people myself on occassion.

[Sombro]

Quote:

But I am beginning to notice that there's been a couple of times where he sort of gets in my way when I'm trying to escalate with a girl. But I can't tell if it's just jealousy on my part, or if he's clueless or if he's just an asshole. What do you think? Is that cockblocking?

It is, but it sounds like it's a subconscious power move on his part, but no less shitty.

Call his pussy-ass out:

"Dude, why do you get so insecure when I'm talking to chicks? Are you jealous? Why do you constantly need my attention?"

[Peregrine]

I'd be careful with antagonistic moves though. This isn't just another social group. You mentioned that you're both part of the same grad program. In effect, it's a semi-work relationship. Making the wrong enemies could tank your academic career (if that's what you're going for).

[MikeinMKE]

Are you cooler/better looking/better dressed than this guy? Equal? Less?

I need more info to be honest.

[Shadowarrior]

I hate to boast, but I was better dressed and I had just gotten a haircut that day. I was getting compliments on both. I must admit he is the better looking guy. Cooler? Not sure. He acts really immature sometimes. I am definitely funnier

[Alpha Hunter Zero]

@shadowarrior- I think my favorite part about your story is the female friend trying to help you out, you gotta love girls like these. As for your cockblocking "friend", dont roll with him anymore & drop his ass. Whether or not he is part of your academic social group is irrelevant. When your group is together socialize with him only when necessary. Now based on what you wrote this guy is a malicious & sadistic cockblocker. He seems to get a kick out of interfering in your potential relationships with the opposite sex despite knowing you are a virgin & trying to get laid. The biggest indicator of this is despite your female friend trying to get some distance between you & him he insisted on sticking around you & the girl you were warming up instead of approaching other women. He knew exactly what he was doing. An ignorant cockblocker can be forgiven, however, an intentional cockblocker is inexcusable.

[Matt3B]

You need to learn to how to AMOG.

Some simple lines you could've used:

"Sorry mate give us a minute, the grown ups are talking"
"That's great, go and tell the other kids over there"
"That's cute what you're trying to do, teasing her like that"
"Haha sometimes I wonder how the hell you got a girlfriend"
"Hey I really like those pants, they really suit you. You look like a little school kid on his first day. Where did you get them?" - works well if you're better dressed than him.

Little stuff like this mate. Also pulling him aside and calling him out on what he's doing is also a good idea to see how he reacts to it.

This is also good:

(04-02-2013 06:44 PM)lampshade Wrote:  

You could try basically ignoring him.

Whenever he interrupts you, just kind of look at him like he's an annoying fly on the wall (not with anger, but with disgust), and don't react to what he says at all, then immediately go back to what you were saying to the girl before he interrupted.

You can also use the "leave em with the loser" tactic, where any time he interrupts and starts trying to talk 1 on 1 with the girl, just eject yourself silently and immediately go talk to someone else. If you do this enough, eventually the girl will get the impression that if she wants to talk to him, that she can't talk to you, or that he is a person to be avoided for some reason. If she is really interested in you, after you eject, she should come join you wherever you went, and when she comes over, say something like "how was it talking to dr.pants?" and grin knowingly when you say "dr.pants" (give him some kind of a nickname based on something she doesn't like about him, or if you can't think of anything, just pick some feature of him that stands out, or you can use something like "dr.love" or "casanova" -- the point is be sarcastic and point out this flaw). This should poison the well for his chances with her, since you're acting like everyone would know if she hooked up with this guy with the stained pants. A bit underhanded, I suppose, but hey, all is in fair in love and war.

I would also say you should work on your body language when you're around this guy. If anything, I say he is trying to keep you in a position of being powerless so he can feel powerful. I've seen it before with some of my male friends, and I've found myself doing it to people myself on occassion.

[Hazaer]

Hey guys, been some time since the thread has been alive.. I might have a situation with a potential female cockblocker. There are two girls in my uni hall of who are of the same ethnic group and always stick with each other. Lets call them Girl A and Girl B. I run into both of them quite a bit as we stay in the same building.

Girl A approaches me and starts chatting after giving IOIs for a quite a while. After having a couple of long chats with her, I asked her out, she said she will think about it and texts me a few hrs later saying she cant go but we can be friends and all that kind of crap. I didnt respond to that and scaled back my interactions with her to just acknowledgements when i happen to bump into her.

Around this time, I came to notice Girl B giving me quite a bit of eye contact. At first, I ignored those thinking she(Girl B) was checking on me to inform Girl A if I am still into her(Girl A). The IOIs Girl B became more obvious to me gradually but I was not sure if it was some plan by both the girls to reject me for the fun of it or something. One day Girl B approached me and we started the conversing and she seems pretty into me. Am planning to ask B out on a date.

But, I am not sure if B knows what happened between me and A and if she doesnt know yet, what will she do in the future if A decides to tell or worse decides to cockblock. Now, I am not even sure if A approached me so that she can introduce me to B at a later date. B seems much more reserved and shy than A, she says she doesnt speak much to other ppl because of her english fluency. What do you think could be happening here? What could be the next move that I can make without inciting jealousy or stuff like that?

Of course, being a newb here, I am aware of oneitis and am still going out and gaming other chicks as usual.

Thanks men.

[XPQ22]

(04-02-2013 04:34 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Go out solo. Problem solved.

This. Having a bad wingman can prove an even bigger obstacle than going out solo. It can be harder to isolate when solo, and your options are more constrained, but a friend who is bad at game can deep six you completely. And I don't need any more problems with game than I already have!

Going out solo doesn't automatically make people think you're a loser, either. I think it can be an indicator of value as well - showing up at a bar or club alone and pretty much acting like you own the place makes people wonder who you are and/or who you know. Or at least that you don't have any self-esteem issues.

If it's the choice between going out alone and going out with a friend who isn't following the program, I think I'd always pick the former.

Edit: Wow, I didn't see that this thread was necro-ized. Oh well. Hazaer: It's probably best to start your own thread of game issues you're having specific to you, rather than revive old posts.

[FunkCoup]

Call him out on it next time. Tell him top stop stepping on your game. There's a chance he might deny what he's doing, so in that case just make slick moves fast and find a place where you can talk to the girl in private, exchange phone numbers, and hit her up for the quiet victory.

[Hazaer]

(01-01-2016 03:51 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

(04-02-2013 04:34 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Go out solo. Problem solved.

It's probably best to start your own thread of game issues you're having specific to you, rather than revive old posts.

Tried this the last time and got myself banned temporarily for starting new threads when existing threads address the topic. Perhaps, multiple experiences in one thread can help the reader get more info in one place.. If there are more suitable threads for my query, please let me know.

[mammal]

Friend and cockblocker are mutually exclusive.
1) Give him the benefit of the doubt. Get him alone and explain that though he may not realize it, he's ruining things for you. Don't accuse or get angry, just explain.
2) If it ever happens again, stop associating him in any situation where he can cockblock you.