Rough shit dude, good luck. Leaving school, drugs, alcohol, all of that can be hard in different ways. Getting back to a healthy state is a long road but a necessary one. All the best
Brother is most likely a drug addict and alcoholic
First talk to a professional. Then ask to more 3 to 5. After that if you are not satisfied with what the majority told u search for more.
After if you have a distant relative that lives in another country and can accept him send him there.
Always support and push him. The laisser faire is one of the stupidest thing you can do. It's like saying to somebody who can't get laid "just being yourself and everything will fall to place".
There are things you can control and there are things you can't control. Act on the things you can control.
After if you have a distant relative that lives in another country and can accept him send him there.
Always support and push him. The laisser faire is one of the stupidest thing you can do. It's like saying to somebody who can't get laid "just being yourself and everything will fall to place".
There are things you can control and there are things you can't control. Act on the things you can control.
Haven't read any of the other replied but will give my opinion directly to the OP;
You're right that he has insecurities and emotional issues, these lead to his drug abuse
Problem
He may not be at the stage yet where he wants to address these, this can only come from within
Personal Experience
At 18 I was nowhere near wanting to address my issues but then again I didn't have such a positive and caring family (this could mean it takes longer or shorter for him)
My advice
Be there for him spiritualy at every single moment, make sure he knows how much you worry and how much you care. Maybe refer him to a close friend with similar experiences to talk it through.
I really hope things end well and soon, he needs to know (without being told) that his age is a very important time in his life for building his future. Best of luck
You're right that he has insecurities and emotional issues, these lead to his drug abuse
Problem
He may not be at the stage yet where he wants to address these, this can only come from within
Personal Experience
At 18 I was nowhere near wanting to address my issues but then again I didn't have such a positive and caring family (this could mean it takes longer or shorter for him)
My advice
Be there for him spiritualy at every single moment, make sure he knows how much you worry and how much you care. Maybe refer him to a close friend with similar experiences to talk it through.
I really hope things end well and soon, he needs to know (without being told) that his age is a very important time in his life for building his future. Best of luck
Quote: (03-28-2013 08:42 PM)InternationPlayboy Wrote:
Quote: (03-28-2013 08:29 PM)Jbk Wrote:
Thanks both for very insightful replies.
I'm off to bed now. 4 hours sleep inter last 30 cuz of this. A good sleep and a clear head will help.
The replies have been very useful to me in planning how I am going to advise my whole fam to approach this. Thanks again!
A little inspiration for you bud. A lot of my friends I knew that were heroin addicts are currently killing it at life. One is an engineer making mad bread. Another is a limo driver in Vegas and making a good living doing that, but more importantly he is very happy in life. He has two kids and he's a great father. Another one last I checked was raising horses and opened up a business in Town Square. Your bro still has plenty of time to turn himself around, and when he does life will be so much better for him, I just hope he sees that.
I think that a good idea is to show him there are other options available to him. Thats one part of professional help, support groups, etc.
Oftentimes, people will feel they have no choice. I know that sounds silly...of course there are millions of choices. But people in difficult situations often see no other path and don't have the skills to try a new route even if they do.
Try to focus on the positive changes to be made: start a light workout program- go for a walk or bike ride, meet non-addict friends- even if just for coffee and a 30 min chat, make dinner for the family, etc. Its not just stopping drugs, its replacing it with other behaviors that will keep him well.
Best of luck, and keep up hope.
Can I just point out that what the OP describes is nothing close to a heroin addict
His younger brother is bored with life and has fallen in love with using chemicals to alieve boredom. He is not physically dependant on heroin
His younger brother is bored with life and has fallen in love with using chemicals to alieve boredom. He is not physically dependant on heroin
I can't really comment on this from personal experience but one of the things I've had to note in my career is the presence of 'enablers' around the drug addict. Basically, the existence of well-meaning people that protect the addict from the consequences of his actions.
For example, the well-meaning wife who cleans up after her alcoholic husband after he falls asleep in a pile of his own vomit. She cleans him up, cleans up the mess, and tucks him into bed. This is the incorrect way of doing things, because it protects the addict from realising the depths he's sunk into. The correct thing to do is to leave the addict to sleep in his vomit and to wake up in his vomit and to realise that his life has come to sleeping in vomit.
So it sounds like you are protecting your brother by giving him a job and making sure he doesn't harm himself during his high, but sometimes people only realise they have to change after they lose everything and have harmed themselves or wake up in a jail cell or psych ward.
I'm not sure how applicable this would be to your situation with your brother, but perhaps an experienced social worker can give you some advice.
For example, the well-meaning wife who cleans up after her alcoholic husband after he falls asleep in a pile of his own vomit. She cleans him up, cleans up the mess, and tucks him into bed. This is the incorrect way of doing things, because it protects the addict from realising the depths he's sunk into. The correct thing to do is to leave the addict to sleep in his vomit and to wake up in his vomit and to realise that his life has come to sleeping in vomit.
So it sounds like you are protecting your brother by giving him a job and making sure he doesn't harm himself during his high, but sometimes people only realise they have to change after they lose everything and have harmed themselves or wake up in a jail cell or psych ward.
I'm not sure how applicable this would be to your situation with your brother, but perhaps an experienced social worker can give you some advice.
He needs professional help.
Sometimes professional help does not help, I lived with a family member of mine who was a heroin addict for 5 years (first cousin), he'd been addicted to it for 15/16 years, he didn't really cause too much trouble around the house until he started stealing shit, his wife was distraught and felt she had to dump him. To be honest I'd been really blase about him till this point and just thought he's a fucking idiot etc. But I decided to get involved as I was living in his home and it was starting to affect me. So I called a cousin of mine and told him my plan but I needed his help because me, by myself was not enough force. It was December and it was snowing outside which made it a bit easier for us. So we confronted him, me, my cousin and his wife and told him he needed to understand what he was doing, what he was fucking up and how we were going to force him to quit.
So I took his phone off him, took all his money off him and we locked him in the house for a month. When I say locked, this guy had practically built the house when he himself refurbished it when his wife bought it, so I took away all his shoes and locked them in my room, I locked the landline in my room. We locked all the doors and windows and took all the keys, I moved any electrics that could facilitate communication (dangerous in case he had a medical issue) out of the house, all sharp items like scissors, knives, anything that he could use to get out. He suffered, he suffered a lot, he was forced onto cold turkey, a few times he thought about smashing a window and running off to find a dealer somewhere but he saw the snow outside and knew he did not have any shoes. He had sweating fits and sat in a warm bath when this happened. I left him when a shitload of movies which he watched and slept through. By the 3rd week he'd pretty much not even wanted to go anywhere near heroin. Of all the things he had done, being incarcerated in his own house was the worst thing to have happened to him. He's fine now, been working hard for 2 years, his wife is still with him, she cooks for him, cleans the house, does the thing a wife likes to do and they are both happy.
Not sure if this would work for your brother, but I'd fucking do it again if I had to.
So I took his phone off him, took all his money off him and we locked him in the house for a month. When I say locked, this guy had practically built the house when he himself refurbished it when his wife bought it, so I took away all his shoes and locked them in my room, I locked the landline in my room. We locked all the doors and windows and took all the keys, I moved any electrics that could facilitate communication (dangerous in case he had a medical issue) out of the house, all sharp items like scissors, knives, anything that he could use to get out. He suffered, he suffered a lot, he was forced onto cold turkey, a few times he thought about smashing a window and running off to find a dealer somewhere but he saw the snow outside and knew he did not have any shoes. He had sweating fits and sat in a warm bath when this happened. I left him when a shitload of movies which he watched and slept through. By the 3rd week he'd pretty much not even wanted to go anywhere near heroin. Of all the things he had done, being incarcerated in his own house was the worst thing to have happened to him. He's fine now, been working hard for 2 years, his wife is still with him, she cooks for him, cleans the house, does the thing a wife likes to do and they are both happy.
Not sure if this would work for your brother, but I'd fucking do it again if I had to.
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