[augen sehen]

So here goes nothing... I've read so many of y'all's posts here that I feel that maybe someone can help me.

So here's the thing. I don't feel masculine enough. I'm 30 years old and I grew up in the States and I live in India atm. I've had a few LTR's including one that lasted 9 years and ended last year. I've cheated on girls and my latest bang was just last week, where I met a girl at a party and then kissed her and banged her the next party we met at, but on the whole, I don't feel very alpha.

You guys may have heard that Indian girls are ridiculous for shit testing. I get that a lot from some girls here. They make me feel like I'm too soft or something, maybe because in that particular group I haven't made a move on any girl (they're all loud and mannish ) or because they think I'm not alpha enough.

I go to the gym and I work out, I love lifting (300x6 squat and 360x3 DL) and I have a good body with good muscles (no abs), but in my mind, I need to change my attitude and my personality to be more aggressive and dominant. However, I don't want to fight and I hate conflict. I used to get beaten up and dominated in school, probably because of my personality then. I was skinny as fuck.

I read Heartiste's body type game diagnosis and I'm an ectomorph and I feel that its hard for me to do cold approach. However once a girl has slept with me she generally wants to keep it going. Maybe its the type of girl I attract. Or maybe I'm too caring and shit. In fact, I got skeeved out when this last girl I banged didn't let me bang the next time we met and now is sending me dopey "I missed u today" messages. And she's a girl who's been around.

Whatever the hell it is, I want to be able to come across as more masculine than I currently do. I've even tried applying Androgel to see if it was my T levels, but that shit is expensive as fuck.

[dk902]

In my opinion, experience is born through confidence.

Are you putting yourself in the situations where you're testing yourself, testing your game and meeting new women?

If not, then why?

No debate about how 'alpha' or 'beta' you are will ever change anything if you're not actively trying to improve/better yourself.

Want to be more masculine? Take up a combat sport, boxing, drive a motorbike, hell do whatever you want, as long as it's what you want to do and enjoy.

Quote:

because they think I'm not alpha enough.

It sounds like you have a bit of a complex about this.

Perhaps you need to find some new friends or a social circle in order to avoid judging eyes.

I really don't know what the game situation is like in India. But I'd guess that most dudes rely heavily on their social circles.

If you can exit that and start doing cold approaches and getting results from it, you will stop worrying about how 'alpha' you are.

If you're squatting, deadlifting, benching and doing chins in the gym and training very hard, with a solid diet at 30 years old you shouldn't be worrying about your T levels.

[alphanov]

You could try finding yourself a role model. This could be a fictional character like James Bond and Jason Bourne. Read the books, watch the movies and identify yourself with them. Or you can look at real-life examples. I like Derren Brown shows and especially the energy, enthusiasm, and authority that he radiates when handling strangers on the street and from his audience. Also watch powerful speakers, like Obama and why not Hitler.
Right before embarking on an approach session, I like watching some motivational videos, such as this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1GWBB7qrBA
Listen to some music which gives you shivers, like the Rocky soundtrack or whatever you prefer.

[WestIndianArchie]

In terms of your outer game
- eat more, lift more, get bigger
- show off the results with better clothes

In terms of your inner game
- you have to take more risks
- you have to deal with failure
- and then take more risks

I'm sure there are things that you've always dreamed of, now is the time to go do those things.

Quit a dead end job with a slave driving boss
Tell your folks to go to hell
Next time you see a hot chick, run up on her and start spitting some game
Drive 57 mph in a 55..
Buy a 2 button suit AND BUTTON THE BOTTOM BUTTON!

Whatever it is that your inner Bruce Lee wants to be, you should be.

In my mind, Masculinity isn't looking bad ass and moving silently, but it's embracing your own true desires, and then doing the necessary work, and dealing with the necessary pain that comes in trying to achieve greatness, which is a greatness that you define yourself.

And I don't know if pursuing your own dreams is going to have the effect of making panties drop, I do know that when I've gone after what I truly wanted, that gave me a swagger and confidence that was better than any chick i've ever scored.

WIA

[Sombro]

(02-24-2013 12:49 PM)dk902 Wrote:  

In my opinion, experience is born through confidence.

At first I wanted to disagree with this, but let me elaborate.

We all have interests, and we must pursue the one's we feel most passionately about. Put in the hours and the study. Get good at something. It may take time but it will be rewarding. The confidence that comes through will flow through to other facets of your being. People will see it in your body language.

In other words, the confidence has to come from something concrete -- a goal reached, proficiency at something -- rather than empty cockiness.
This is the path to experience.

Good outer game begins with good inner game.

[augen sehen]

Thanks for the thoughts all.

(02-24-2013 12:49 PM)dk902 Wrote:  

Are you putting yourself in the situations where you're testing yourself, testing your game and meeting new women?

If not, then why?

I think the main thing I need to do is get over my fear of cold approach, and to get over my fear of talking to girls I think are pretty or "out of my league". I've noticed that I get very nervous when I see a hot chick, but I sort of relax when I find out she's taken.

I don't think that's how a player is supposed to think. At all.

How do you guys recommend I get over my fear of speaking to hot girls and start seeing them as regular girls I can joke with and tease? Maybe part of me just wants to take the first hot girl that speaks with me and make her my wife or something.

(02-24-2013 12:49 PM)dk902 Wrote:  

No debate about how 'alpha' or 'beta' you are will ever change anything if you're not actively trying to improve/better yourself.

Want to be more masculine? Take up a combat sport, boxing, drive a motorbike, hell do whatever you want, as long as it's what you want to do and enjoy.

Yeah, I hear you. I've been slacking off in the gym because I can't lift heavy anymore (back problems) and stopping the deadlifts has really done a number on how strong I feel. Self-improvement for the last few months has consisted of getting better at work and learning a new language but that's not very masculine.

(02-24-2013 12:49 PM)dk902 Wrote:  

Perhaps you need to find some new friends or a social circle in order to avoid judging eyes.

I really don't know what the game situation is like in India. But I'd guess that most dudes rely heavily on their social circles.

Thanks, but I don't think the problem is with this particular social circle. How do you recommend reacting when a girl in a group starts to be cocky and/or challenge your masculinity? My go-to is to talk shit back, which I'm a lot better at than I used to be, but basically its just shit talking and we're not supposed to reply hurtfully since that'll just bely your insecurities. Sometimes I get playfully physical so I show my dominance that way.

[Matt3B]

(02-25-2013 01:27 AM)augen sehen Wrote:  

How do you guys recommend I get over my fear of speaking to hot girls and start seeing them as regular girls I can joke with and tease? Maybe part of me just wants to take the first hot girl that speaks with me and make her my wife or something.

Speak to one, realise they're exactly the same as every other chick, not some scary monster that has a list of your insecurities on a notebook in front of her that she's going to use against you. You'll feel better for approaching one and then momentum builds.

Quote:

Yeah, I hear you. I've been slacking off in the gym because I can't lift heavy anymore (back problems) and stopping the deadlifts has really done a number on how strong I feel. Self-improvement for the last few months has consisted of getting better at work and learning a new language but that's not very masculine.

Here's a problem you have right here. Stop labelling things as "masculine" or "alpha". Do you ask yourself questions like "what would an alpha do?" and "what's the alpha response in this situation?", etc?

If so, you need to get out of that trail of thought because it'll make you self conscious and it already sounds like you are which will show to girls. This will affect your game. You need to strip yourself of titles and labels and just go with what feels right with the situation.

Learning a language and improving yourself at work "isn't very masculine"? I don't understand what you mean by that at all.

Quote:

Thanks, but I don't think the problem is with this particular social circle. How do you recommend reacting when a girl in a group starts to be cocky and/or challenge your masculinity? My go-to is to talk shit back, which I'm a lot better at than I used to be, but basically its just shit talking and we're not supposed to reply hurtfully since that'll just bely your insecurities. Sometimes I get playfully physical so I show my dominance that way.

This is pretty much what you need to do. You need to agree with them and amplify to show you're not butthurt over their comments and are above what they're saying. Here's an example:

Girl: "That shirt looks gay"
Guy: "No it doesn't, it cost £100 from Ralph Lauren. Ralph Lauren isn't gay".

or

Girl: "That shirt looks gay"
Guy: "Yeah, I suppose you're right, but I still look good in it." / "Yeah I suppose you're right, because I'm heading to about 5 gay clubs tonight and need to try fit in"

What do you think will work better?

[RCron]

Quote:

This is pretty much what you need to do. You need to agree with them and amplify to show you're not butthurt over their comments and are above what they're saying. Here's an example:

Girl: "That shirt looks gay"
Guy: "No it doesn't, it cost £100 from Ralph Lauren. Ralph Lauren isn't gay".

or

Girl: "That shirt looks gay"
Guy: "Yeah, I suppose you're right, but I still look good in it." / "Yeah I suppose you're right, because I'm heading to about 5 gay clubs tonight and need to try fit in"

What do you think will work better?

Good stuff. Or my favorite reply to the gay remark: Yeah, well let's go to the restroom/my place/your place and I'll show you how gay I really am.

[Matt3B]

(02-25-2013 01:47 PM)RCron Wrote:  

Quote:

This is pretty much what you need to do. You need to agree with them and amplify to show you're not butthurt over their comments and are above what they're saying. Here's an example:

Girl: "That shirt looks gay"
Guy: "No it doesn't, it cost £100 from Ralph Lauren. Ralph Lauren isn't gay".

or

Girl: "That shirt looks gay"
Guy: "Yeah, I suppose you're right, but I still look good in it." / "Yeah I suppose you're right, because I'm heading to about 5 gay clubs tonight and need to try fit in"

What do you think will work better?

Good stuff. Or my favorite reply to the gay remark: Yeah, well let's go to the restroom/my place/your place and I'll show you how gay I really am.

Haha, yeah. Just as good.

[jerome]

In order to be more masculine, you want to do masculine activities:

Example: MMA, boxing, sports, hunting (which I don't approve of), macking on chicks, work in construction, work as a mechanic, build cars etc......

if you want to be more effeminate: read cosmo, read horoscope, wear pink, grow up in a single mother household, have alot of sisters, hangout with gaymen, work in fashion

[pants]

Why not hunting?

As manly as it gets. I hope the day women take up hunting never comes.

Sick of seeing them at the poker table, in the couch watching sports, etc.