[soup]

A player who has been with many women should know women better than other men who haven't.

So, it stands to reason that if a player finds a girl that seems like she stands out from the pack, he is in the best position to make a correct judgement on her value (as opposed to beta guys who get oneitis from anything that moves).

Essentially, a player's oneitis is even worse than a beta's oneitis because the player is coming from a higher authority.

This is a conundrum of the game.

I see it happening with a friend of mine who is a massive player (on par with Mixx as far as notches go). And, even though I think I have a lot more to learn and experience, I too am feeling pair-bonding drives with one of the girls in my rotation.

[AntiTrace]

have you ever been in a serious relationship?

Some players shy away from them simply because of the stigma they have, but they do have their place.

When in a serious relationship never forget that either you are going marry the girl or you are going to leave the girl. There is no option C.

[east and west]

the thing is this
why do you want to Learn if you want to be with this girl?

you are either a player or you are in relationship. the middle of the road is not good. except in some Arabic or African country.

[Fujiwara]

I heard this line on an old episode of Californication, and at that particular moment it weighed heavy with me:

"No amount of top-shelf pussy can compare to the love of a good woman."

Because I do want to fuck pretty much anything that's thin and has two X chromosomes, but I get those feelings, too, very rarely, and it messes me all up.

[babababalot]

(02-14-2013 06:20 AM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

When in a serious relationship never forget that either you are going marry the girl or you are going to leave the girl. There is no option C.

how many guys actually think like this?

i think it's fucking obvious and that's why i don't take relationships seriously. am i ready to get married? no. why take any relationship seriously.

but.... tell girls and guys that it's either marry/break up and they get shocked you think in such black and white terms.

anyone else hear me?

[Krauser]

Being really good at understanding your sexual needs and being able to get them satisfied (i.e. being a player) is completely different to understanding / satisfying your affection needs. It's possible to be very good at one, and very bad at the other. Hence the player ennui of the guy with 100s of notches but an unhappy heart.

[BlurredSevens]

Interesting post, Soup.

I ran into this myself a couple months ago - I had been on a hot streak, and oneitis was not a term in my vocabulary at the time.

But one midweek night I met up with a girl for a first date who, as you put it, stood out from the pack - it caught me by complete surprise.

I eventually stopped calling the other girls in my rotation, since they were boring to me in comparison to this new girl.

That said, I don't feel like I have "oneitis" for her, despite the fact that I'm not seeing anyone else, and genuinely don't feel the need to. I'm working on a post about this same topic right now: the differences I've noticed between a Red Pill LTR and a Blue Pill LTR. I do believe it's possible to maintain an abundance mentality while in a quality LTR, but it's a delicate balance, and I'm trying to work through the contradictions it presents.

[soup]

I have been in 4-5 year long monogamous relationship. I was twenty two at the time, and wanted to try it out. I can safely say that I was doing a lot of mental gymnastics to keep that thing going. It was the ultimate male hamster move. In the last year or so, I just stopped having sex with her. My body was telling me "no," but my mind was like "stick it out."

The girl even confronted me about it one time and said "Why don't you fuck me anymore!?!" I was totally stumped and hadn't thought about it at the time. In hindsight, I can tell you that I lost real attraction for her on the second time we hung out. But, I was so obstinate about being in a relationship that I didn't allow myself to acknowledge those feelings.

At one point, I even had a girl sleep over at my house when she was away. The girl slept with me in the bed and tried to fuck me. She started kissing me. After a while, I decided to reciprocate, and she was like "I don't want to be that girl (who breaks up another's relationship)." And I was like "OK", and rolled over to go to sleep

You want to know what I told myself to rationalize making out with this other girl?

I told myself that I was doing reverse psychology on her so that she would stop making out with me. I guess it kind of worked, but that was the height of my hamsterdom. It was clear that I wanted to be fucking other girls, but I couldn't acknowledge it because I was willful to fault.

My sense is that the game will always be bigger than the player, and the house always wins.

What I'm talking about here is not a problem with which naturals will have to contend or suffer through. They are just going with the flow. However, A red-pill player who has consciously built himself up from the bottom of betatude will not only think he knows women better than any man, he will believe that he knows himself better than anyone. And honestly, after all the self-examination and perspective/integrity risk that is required to advance in the game from a blue-pill starting point, he probably does know himself and females better than anyone. It's lonely at the top.

If you are just getting into the game, you can't trust your own feelings and thoughts. But when you get to higher levels of game, your feelings become the reality. When you are angry, it's with good reason. Sean Connery can get away with slapping a woman, admitting to it on TV, and not apologizing about because he knows what he's doing more than anyone else. In fact, he gets paid to be that guy. I bet he wasn't even that angry when he did it- it was just the obvious move at the time.

You once were a baby that crawled, and now you are a man that walks with confidence- you are in sync with the game. It feels like you have become the game, the master of the universe.

How can someone who understands women and himself more completely than anyone else deny his own conclusions on these matters?

By the way, this thread is open to discussions about other player contradictions.

Also, the girl that I'm talking about in my life right is hot, but of course I notice hotter girls all the time. That said, it's little things that she does that I like. For example, she saw that I had a bite mark on my chest from another girl, and while she didn't necessarily laugh it off, she didn't freak out over it and was kind of just blase. I'd bet she's fucking a lot of other guys too.

[Nomad77]

The real issue is here is the most guys on here appear to refuse to accept the fact or even acknowledge our need to be feel love and to love as just human beings. This is why it is one of Maslow fundamental needs. Doesn't matter how much pussy you have or get if you don't feel loved you will still feel empty inside. A relationship can address this but it doesn't have to be that way. Most of us uses a relationship to gain this level of intimacy. But you can get it from a woman without a relationship. You can also have a relationship and other women too. There is no one perfect solution for everyone. I have been in more than few long-term relationships (years) and I have always had other women on the side and still met new women. If anything, I feel, it helps me to appreciate the woman and the relationship. All forms of measurement and appreciation can only exist in contrast. If you only ate the same meal every day very soon you will know longer appreciate it because that will be the only thing you know. Or to put it another way: day could not exist without the night.

[soup]

New Sub-topic:

Can the Boner Test be Trusted

(I posted parts of this in the forum lounge, but I'm re-posting it here as conundrum of game)

There are times when you might be really desperate for a notch and your boner will rise for girls that most people would think are not hot, over-weight, or old. This is true if you are used to getting new pussy all the time and hit a dry spell.

Undrstand, an older woman can never really be attracted to a man that is attracted to her. Why would any man of value want her withered face and pussy. She knows this. Possibly the same with fatties and un-attractive girls, but older women have been around the block so they are much more aware.

Conclusion: do not go for older women, even if you are having a dry spell and they pass the boner test. By older, I mean post-wall looking girls.

So, what does this say about the boner test? If your standards are low, you might be shooting yourself in the foot going for a girl of lower quality because it could blow-up in your face.

[Ovid]

If a man wants to do a little old-fashioned pair-bonding there's nothing wrong with that, if a worthwhile girl is found. It's natural and can be very pleasant. The trick is to make intelligent compromises when they must be made, and not to lose one's head or turn into the beta our culture expects. It's one thing to have a fun fling, quite another to find oneself in a miserable relationship with a mediocre, unsatisfying, unworthy girl, which is how relationships get such a bad rap.

Some girls are good for nothing at all. Most American girls fall into this category. They're too fat, too old, too obnoxious, etc. Some are good only for a notch. Fuck them and forget about them. They're good-looking enough to pop wood for, but that's about it. A few of them are worth keeping around as a fuck buddy/booty call. They're above average in looks, intelligence, bedroom talent, pleasantness, etc. You can tolerate their company. One or two of those may actually be relationship material. Not only can you tolerate their company but you positively enjoy and desire it. And just maybe, one of the relationship-worthy girls might be worth wifing up, if she's truly exceptional, and possesses a spirit of self-sacrifice necessary for marriage and family life to work.

[soup]

Here's another:

Is it worse to be a blue pill or to be a player and suffer through dry spells where your great powers get taken away from you?

The beta doesn't know what he's missing. The player suffers more.

Maybe some of you guys don't get dry spells, but I do, and they really suck.

[Veloce]

(03-11-2013 11:07 PM)soup Wrote:  

Here's another:

Is it worse to be a blue pill or to be a player and suffer through dry spells where your great powers get taken away from you?

The beta doesn't know what he's missing. The player suffers more.

Maybe some of you guys don't get dry spells, but I do, and they really suck.

I'd say there's a big scale for player-hood. On one end you've got the guys with high notch counts that only go for ONSs and SNLs but have to deal with the occasional dry spell. On the complete opposite end you've got guys in LTRs, even guys with game.

Somewhere in the middle you have harem managers and mini-relationship guys. I'm probably in the middle somewhere. I've cheated on every gf I've ever had, and even when I'm truly single, I don't do a lot of SNLs. Nearly all girls I bang turn into a 3-4 week mini relationship. For that reason, my longest dry spell was a month.

If you hate dry spells that much, start banging the kind of girls you could see hanging out with for a few weeks instead of the revolving door of pump and dumps. Or find some satisfaction with where your notch count is and start going for more connection.

[Veloce]

(02-14-2013 04:32 AM)soup Wrote:  

A player who has been with many women should know women better than other men who haven't.

So, it stands to reason that if a player finds a girl that seems like she stands out from the pack, he is in the best position to make a correct judgement on her value (as opposed to beta guys who get oneitis from anything that moves).

Essentially, a player's oneitis is even worse than a beta's oneitis because the player is coming from a higher authority.

This is a conundrum of the game.

I see it happening with a friend of mine who is a massive player (on par with Mixx as far as notches go). And, even though I think I have a lot more to learn and experience, I too am feeling pair-bonding drives with one of the girls in my rotation.

This is something I feel all the time. Even with the girls we perceive as one of the good ones...she's still a girl.

My conundrum with the game is understanding what makes women tick. The older I get, the less patience I have for it. Before the red pill there was some mystique about women, I was blissfully ignorant to their despicable ways.

When I'm on a date now, I perceive every look, gesture, statement with more gravity. I'm reading her, responding, initiating the push-pull, playing the game. Sometimes it gets old. I see the iPhone come out, I tease her. I know she's getting attention and sex elsewhere, but I stick it out because I want to fuck her too.

We fuck, she likes me, she wants to keep seeing me. I might cook or play guitar for her after sex, she gets hooked, my ego is satisfied. Over a few weeks or months or years I show her a little more what I'm about and she gets more and more attached while I'm looking for more pussy to slay, the harem builds, falls, collapses, gets rebuilt. If I was more compassionate I'd just cut all these bitches off after 3 bangs or less, but my ego loves the adoration and attachment, it's a drug.

And now? I'm getting burnt out. I don't want anything anymore, I just want the pussy to flow without the drama and it'll never happen. That idiotic thing we were all told when we were young, "Just be yourself, that way when you find someone that likes you it'll be for who you are." I want that even knowing that it's a complete fucking pipe dream. I want a woman who wants something simple. I don't want an attention whore, or a slut, or a bitch. "Why Men Love Bitches", HA. What a joke. Every girl I've been with here has either been an attention whore, or a slut, or a bitch. Usually attention whore. There was one good girl out of the whole lot of them, but I was too young.

Of course, this is all based on gaming American bitches. Based on this forum and a sneaky suspicion I have in my heart, I'd like to believe there are greener pastures elsewhere. Ultimately I think I will one day settle down, but not with any woman that's spent more than a year in an Anglo country.

/endrant

[soup]

Another paradox I've noticed with game is the loss of kink.

To me, kink means doing naughty sex things.

Getting a girl to have sex with me used to seem a little kinky, but now, when there are so many sluts who are willing to have sex if you say the right words and carry yourself well, a lot of the kink factor is taken out of the experience.

As you get better at game and you get more options, ONS isn't so bad-ass anymore.

It's like the Heisenberg principle.

[soup]

If you have really good game, and a girl sleeps with you on the first, does that neccesarily mean she's a slut?

Isn't the whole point that you are the one making the thing happen?

She'd be a slut if she put out for anybody. Not to blow steam up anyone's asses, but doesn't having good game mean being able to elicit sex from girls who don't normally do ONS as well as the sluts?

[Windom Earle]

(12-28-2013 04:40 AM)soup Wrote:  

She'd be a slut if she put out for anybody.

In my experience, I've found this to be true.

A few girls I've had SNL's with (and later, mini relationships) came away quite surprised that sex happened on the first night, and not in a bullshit way to make them appear non-slutty. For them, it was tight game on my behalf, and the admission in retrospect that it "felt right"...so really just me doing my part with adequate comfort building and their own hamster in action, disengaging their logic. Dare I say it, a connection/raw chemistry most certainly helps in scenario's like this. Weirdly enough, I've had equal success with and without alcohol in the equation.

[blkgatsby]

Just thinking out loud, it isn't necessarily red pill (it can be), but more of a thought on life.

Has anyone really ever been curious of something, whether it's game, how politics really works, finding peoples true intentions, etc. only to wish that you never learned the dirty truth? I kinda feel that way about game, but also about a lot of things.

In some ways I kinda wish I could be completely ignorant to the matter at hand and not get burned for it. I'm guessing that's why people yearn for childhood again., because its basically a period of innocence and ignorance.

[VincentVinturi]

(02-14-2013 04:32 AM)soup Wrote:  

A player who has been with many women should know women better than other men who haven't.

So, it stands to reason that if a player finds a girl that seems like she stands out from the pack, he is in the best position to make a correct judgement on her value (as opposed to beta guys who get oneitis from anything that moves).

Essentially, a player's oneitis is even worse than a beta's oneitis because the player is coming from a higher authority.

This is a conundrum of the game.

I see it happening with a friend of mine who is a massive player (on par with Mixx as far as notches go). And, even though I think I have a lot more to learn and experience, I too am feeling pair-bonding drives with one of the girls in my rotation.

Yeah, and once you really pair bond with a girl and get emotionally connected, it's only a matter of time before the sexual polarity fizzles out and you go from "lovers" to "partners".

I've got girls I've been seeing for over half a year. The ones who are my best friends and who I've really connected with and shared a lot with are the ones I have the least desire to fuck. It takes a good 2 weeks for me to want to bang them again with genuine hunger.

Yet they satisfy affection needs and they help me out when I need something (and vice versa) so for me it's good to keep them in my life.

Another Conundrum #1

I used to care about giving girls a good fucking, i.e. really taking my time, making sure she comes hard, etc.

But with so many NEW options all the time, I've found myself getting lazy. I primarily get off on the experience of fucking new pussy. So sometimes it's just in and out for a few minutes and poof!

(On the other hand, I'm much more assertive and dominant and I just take what I want in bed. So who knows, maybe that beats out all the tender-lovin', time-takin' crap anyway...)

Another Conundrum #2

Neomania - I lose sexual attraction for a girl as early as after the first bang. Just don't care about fucking her any more unless we have exceptional chemistry. But basically right after getting off, I'm scheming on fucking the next girl.

[DVY]

^^^VV nails it. I feels those exact same emotions. My main girl got on B-control and I bust loads inside of here. Fair to say, that hasn't been good to my pumping stamina

[Distant Light]

(12-28-2013 07:43 AM)blkgatsby Wrote:  

Just thinking out loud, it isn't necessarily red pill (it can be), but more of a thought on life.

Has anyone really ever been curious of something, whether it's game, how politics really works, finding peoples true intentions, etc. only to wish that you never learned the dirty truth? I kinda feel that way about game, but also about a lot of things.

In some ways I kinda wish I could be completely ignorant to the matter at hand and not get burned for it. I'm guessing that's why people yearn for childhood again., because its basically a period of innocence and ignorance.

+++++++ This!!!

Just the other day I was thinking about a saying when it comes to learning about consciousness...

"Once you open that door, it becomes a doorway you can never be closed again"

For me it is the continual understanding that MONOGAMY is something that I will never experience and no matter how amazing of a woman I meet, I will never change.

To know that I can go anywhere and create this amazing life has caused me to become very flakey almost like a "ghost". It really doesn't matter what happens because I can always generate those experiences again.

I still remember one chick I really loved and to this day love who she is. I tried ACTING like I was in a relationship without telling her. Not even 3hrs in I'm playfully kissing a chick and end of the night about to take a different chick home. In THEORY, I was capable of being with just her because after a few slip ups it was only her...until...

Then after a few boundaries were crossed (nothing manager) and I figured "fuck this" because the mere fact of texting back and forth was more of a hassle than me just taking home some girl right infront of me. I did meet up with her months later...Then next time she seen me I was so standoffish although that is just my default state.

Moving along, seeing all the social masks and issues with women, at times it makes you wish you were ignorant. I remember when I first started I thought certain things were "harsh" or "fucked up". All those thoughts have dropped and now I feel like I'm the supermodel who at times can be misinterpreted for being bitchy despite being in demand.

To paint a picture...
- Wednesday met this awesome girl, gave my # for the sake of bringing her out the next day...Never texted...
- Girl I've been messing with past wee or so, stopped followingup on the invites of "texting her later to give more details" and now I don't eve want to text her again just cause...My life continue moving...
- One of my partner in crimes, haven't seen her in 1-2 months despite being around each other atleast 1-2x a week all year...NOT ONCE did I message her...She called me today, I was too tired and still haven't messaged her
- Gorgeous chick, I approach genuinely, gave my # and told her I want her in my life...Never texted her...Yesterday mistakenly drunk texted wrong person she responds that she is back in sweden

This is all in the span of the past 2 days. Not to mention the women who ran into me and the other girls I gave their #s too. In my mind though...

Today Is Just Another Adventure

Unlike others, I don't get validation out of this, I'm just addicted to all the experiences along with the people I meet and how I develop/grow as a person as a result of those experiences. 2 days from now a chick I used to talk to is flying back to this city...I already have it set that I won't talk to her nor bother messaging her because my train doesn't wait for anything it's just gonna keep on chugging.

[soup]

Vv I'm with you on both points. Being on the game has shrunk sexual attention span to about half if that which it once was.

Not only do I not stay interested as long, but got girls don't get me worked up as much as they used to ( in a good or bad way). This might because I'm getting older or it might just be mental shift brought on by constant gaming.