[nek]

I'm not new to this. I understand the concept of dealing with women the way they are and not how I'd like them to be. This does me well in the sexual department. But for the longest time, there was something bothering me when it came to dealing with women and I couldn't put my finger on it. However, after the last month of dealing with a 'variety' of female types (typical bar girl, hipster, sorority chick, etc.) I've come to realize that a.) they don't make me happy and b.) why they don't make me happy. With regard to a.) it's not simply that they don't make me happy but that they actually make me particularly unhappy. The answer to b.) came with a phone call from a good friend I hadn't spoken to in a while. My good friends, my family (mom, dad, and sis) are great. I'm me around them. They simply love me as me, and I love them back as who they are. It's organic, authentic. With women, no matter what caliber, it doesn't feel the same. No matter how much they seem to be crazy about me or not, it gnaws in the back of my head that they don't really like ME as much as the idea of me. It's very conditional. It doesn't seem like the bond I have with my family and good friends. In fact it's not even close. I look back and realize this is true even with girls I dated for long term. Don't get me wrong, I don't 'fake it' around women, but I can tell that what they build in their heads vs. who I am is not congruent. And what I realize is that this is true for just about all men. Women like to bitch about men objectifying women. In my experience (I'm 29, I know I still have more to go through but I've been through some shit), women are much quicker to commoditize men. And this realization (not new to me but I've had some time to let it settle in) is the ultimate demotivator in life. So I was wondering if anyone has had similar mental breakthroughs and how you keep plugging along. Thanks.

[Ovid]

(02-06-2013 12:14 AM)nek Wrote:  

I'm not new to this. I understand the concept of dealing with women the way they are and not how I'd like them to be. This does me well in the sexual department. But for the longest time, there was something bothering me when it came to dealing with women and I couldn't put my finger on it. However, after the last month of dealing with a 'variety' of female types (typical bar girl, hipster, sorority chick, etc.) I've come to realize that a.) they don't make me happy and b.) why they don't make me happy. With regard to a.) it's not simply that they don't make me happy but that they actually make me particularly unhappy. The answer to b.) came with a phone call from a good friend I hadn't spoken to in a while. My good friends, my family (mom, dad, and sis) are great. I'm me around them. They simply love me as me, and I love them back as who they are. It's organic, authentic. With women, no matter what caliber, it doesn't feel the same. No matter how much they seem to be crazy about me or not, it gnaws in the back of my head that they don't really like ME as much as the idea of me. It's very conditional. It doesn't seem like the bond I have with my family and good friends. In fact it's not even close. I look back and realize this is true even with girls I dated for long term. Don't get me wrong, I don't 'fake it' around women, but I can tell that what they build in their heads vs. who I am is not congruent. And what I realize is that this is true for just about all men. Women like to bitch about men objectifying women. In my experience (I'm 29, I know I still have more to go through but I've been through some shit), women are much quicker to commoditize men. And this realization (not new to me but I've had some time to let it settle in) is the ultimate demotivator in life. So I was wondering if anyone has had similar mental breakthroughs and how you keep plugging along. Thanks.

I doubt there has ever been a marriage where the girl to be wed didn't love the idea of her husband more than her husband himself. They have wonderful, picturesque ideas about how things ought to be, and they project them onto a man whom they perceive to be a suitable candidate for making this happen. It's all artificial at first. It becomes real when children and time enter the picture to knit the family together with bonds of genuine and heartfelt love, respect, and admiration.

...and a bar slut, hipster, or sorority chick are going to be far, far below this basic level in their ability to form genuine connections, or to even imagine such a concept, with their modern minds fed on a Burger King diet of media propaganda, substanceless pop culture and reality television, and constant social validation. The typical Western girl nowadays is raised to be far too selfish to give of herself in a meaningful relationship. For her it is wild and unrestrained emotion until she's had a couple of pump and dump experiences, and then a growing streak of bitter cynicism.

I think very few girls in this hemisphere could make any man happy.

[OkStudies]

Don't revolve your happiness around women or getting women. If they let you down (and they will), the predictable result is that you become unhappy. Your primary goal is women. Set new goals. Make women secondary or complimentary.

This is a recurrent problem with many of the guys on this board. The endless pussy chase ferris wheel, neuroticism, and bitterness (as a result of being let down).

Also you have a shitty target market. Have you tried hitting on girls in other settings? Bars, point blank are for getting laid (with skanks).

[Screwston]

Read my profile. Women should just be a hobby for you.

[little wing]

(02-06-2013 12:14 AM)nek Wrote:  

I'm not new to this. I understand the concept of dealing with women the way they are and not how I'd like them to be. This does me well in the sexual department. But for the longest time, there was something bothering me when it came to dealing with women and I couldn't put my finger on it. However, after the last month of dealing with a 'variety' of female types (typical bar girl, hipster, sorority chick, etc.) I've come to realize that a.) they don't make me happy and b.) why they don't make me happy. With regard to a.) it's not simply that they don't make me happy but that they actually make me particularly unhappy. The answer to b.) came with a phone call from a good friend I hadn't spoken to in a while. My good friends, my family (mom, dad, and sis) are great. I'm me around them. They simply love me as me, and I love them back as who they are. It's organic, authentic. With women, no matter what caliber, it doesn't feel the same. No matter how much they seem to be crazy about me or not, it gnaws in the back of my head that they don't really like ME as much as the idea of me. It's very conditional. It doesn't seem like the bond I have with my family and good friends. In fact it's not even close. I look back and realize this is true even with girls I dated for long term. Don't get me wrong, I don't 'fake it' around women, but I can tell that what they build in their heads vs. who I am is not congruent. And what I realize is that this is true for just about all men. Women like to bitch about men objectifying women. In my experience (I'm 29, I know I still have more to go through but I've been through some shit), women are much quicker to commoditize men. And this realization (not new to me but I've had some time to let it settle in) is the ultimate demotivator in life. So I was wondering if anyone has had similar mental breakthroughs and how you keep plugging along. Thanks.

I year ya brotha. I can really relate to this despite being just 16, guess Im growing up fast.
Every girl seems the same to me. They think the same, dress the same, want the same. I also don't let my guard down around these girls, I pretend to be.

I can honestly say I've never met a girl where I thought: "Damn, this one is special". I think you haven't either.
Hopefully, one day you'll find a girl which just sweeps you off your feet. Where you forget all the game rules and all the right things to do and just do. Where she likes you for you and you like her for her. Where you want to wake up next to her and don't want her to go.
You deserve that girl. Everyone does I think. It's just about finding this one

[Asaxon]

Ovid, careful with " kids as a bonding mechanism". A lot of women despise their husbands after birth, feeling superior because they " performed the magical, beautiful act of giving life" and consider husbands to be nothing more than a meal ticket for her and her child. I have seen this multiple times.

[esperar]

They don't love you and never will. Just accept it and just use them as a place to stick your cock.

[IRTdenialist]

Hey bro, don't take this the wrong way but the last paragraph that you wrote is terrible. Never ever let your guard down. You're only 16 and it shows, but it's ok, you're only still a young pup. My advice to you is to get such misplaced notions out of your mind. Listen to 'some' of the advice that the game elders have to give yourself a little time to grow before you start giving out 'advice'. Happy gaming bro!

(02-06-2013 03:05 AM)little wing Wrote:  

(02-06-2013 12:14 AM)nek Wrote:  

I'm not new to this. I understand the concept of dealing with women the way they are and not how I'd like them to be. This does me well in the sexual department. But for the longest time, there was something bothering me when it came to dealing with women and I couldn't put my finger on it. However, after the last month of dealing with a 'variety' of female types (typical bar girl, hipster, sorority chick, etc.) I've come to realize that a.) they don't make me happy and b.) why they don't make me happy. With regard to a.) it's not simply that they don't make me happy but that they actually make me particularly unhappy. The answer to b.) came with a phone call from a good friend I hadn't spoken to in a while. My good friends, my family (mom, dad, and sis) are great. I'm me around them. They simply love me as me, and I love them back as who they are. It's organic, authentic. With women, no matter what caliber, it doesn't feel the same. No matter how much they seem to be crazy about me or not, it gnaws in the back of my head that they don't really like ME as much as the idea of me. It's very conditional. It doesn't seem like the bond I have with my family and good friends. In fact it's not even close. I look back and realize this is true even with girls I dated for long term. Don't get me wrong, I don't 'fake it' around women, but I can tell that what they build in their heads vs. who I am is not congruent. And what I realize is that this is true for just about all men. Women like to bitch about men objectifying women. In my experience (I'm 29, I know I still have more to go through but I've been through some shit), women are much quicker to commoditize men. And this realization (not new to me but I've had some time to let it settle in) is the ultimate demotivator in life. So I was wondering if anyone has had similar mental breakthroughs and how you keep plugging along. Thanks.

I year ya brotha. I can really relate to this despite being just 16, guess Im growing up fast.
Every girl seems the same to me. They think the same, dress the same, want the same. I also don't let my guard down around these girls, I pretend to be.

I can honestly say I've never met a girl where I thought: "Damn, this one is special". I think you haven't either.
Hopefully, one day you'll find a girl which just sweeps you off your feet. Where you forget all the game rules and all the right things to do and just do. Where she likes you for you and you like her for her. Where you want to wake up next to her and don't want her to go.
You deserve that girl. Everyone does I think. It's just about finding this one

[Lemmo]

If you are tying your happiness to women to any significant extent, you will always be miserable. They are big dumb animals and they will never live up to your standards because you are expecting them to have the intelligence, character, etc. of a man. We like babies even though they are sociopathic and animals even though they are sniveling and stupid so there is no reason to not like and be amused by women. But use them as a distraction and get your happiness elsewhere.

[Sonsowey]

(02-06-2013 12:14 AM)nek Wrote:  

(typical bar girl, hipster, sorority chick, etc.)

These types of girls all are likely awful.

There truly are nice sweet feminine girls who aren't terrible out there.

Very rare, but you gotta look. It's a real treat to find a girl who is nice. Usually, these are girls I meet during day-game. Girls who go out a lot are more likely to be awful. A girl you romantically meet during the day has a better shot of having a good attitude.

[space]

(02-06-2013 08:01 AM)Sonsowey Wrote:  

(02-06-2013 12:14 AM)nek Wrote:  

(typical bar girl, hipster, sorority chick, etc.)

These types of girls all are likely awful.

There truly are nice sweet feminine girls who aren't terrible out there.

Very rare, but you gotta look. It's a real treat to find a girl who is nice. Usually, these are girls I meet during day-game. Girls who go out a lot are more likely to be awful. A girl you romantically meet during the day has a better shot of having a good attitude.

I agree that nice girls are out there, but I don't agree with your premise that these girls don't go out. The fact is even girls who don't go out still have (several) dating profiles, Facebook and other forms of attention whoring/validation -- that's what ruins them.

[Ovid]

(02-06-2013 04:50 AM)Asaxon Wrote:  

Ovid, careful with " kids as a bonding mechanism". A lot of women despise their husbands after birth, feeling superior because they " performed the magical, beautiful act of giving life" and consider husbands to be nothing more than a meal ticket for her and her child. I have seen this multiple times.

I've seen it too. It's the result of having a kid with an undisciplined (usually) and fundamentally selfish woman, who goes into marriage thinking how it's going to benefit her, instead of being resolved to make whatever sacrifices are necessary to ensure a good upbringing for her children. Unfortunately, that describes most women in the West these days. I mentioned kids because the OP mentioned the honest, caring dynamic of his family. That dynamic exists because of the years of emotional and physical investment they've all had in one another.

[Sonsowey]

(02-06-2013 08:36 AM)space Wrote:  

(02-06-2013 08:01 AM)Sonsowey Wrote:  

(02-06-2013 12:14 AM)nek Wrote:  

(typical bar girl, hipster, sorority chick, etc.)

These types of girls all are likely awful.

There truly are nice sweet feminine girls who aren't terrible out there.

Very rare, but you gotta look. It's a real treat to find a girl who is nice. Usually, these are girls I meet during day-game. Girls who go out a lot are more likely to be awful. A girl you romantically meet during the day has a better shot of having a good attitude.

I agree that nice girls are out there, but I don't agree with your premise that these girls don't go out. The fact is even girls who don't go out still have (several) dating profiles, Facebook and other forms of attention whoring/validation -- that's what ruins them.

Not all do. Many, yes. But not all. Find girls w old shitty phones.

[oregonziggy]

Have to agree women will never make you happy. I enjoy spending time with my friends traveling or just hanging out watching sports or drinking beers. Way more than when I was married or in a relationship.

Been single for 4 years and never been happier. American women are really just for sex and nothing else. Don't have kids with them. That is a fucking nightmare.
Bottom line they can't and won't make you happy.

[snoop]

Maybe you're overthinking this and it is really simple.....maybe you're a latent homosexual.

Fuck a dude and see if it makes you happy.

[WestIndianArchie]

"See I'm from the street, so I know what's up
On these silly games that's played by the women
I'm only happy when I'm goin up in em
But you know, I'm a menace to society
But girls in biker shorts are so fly to me"

© Ice Cube

WIA

[nek]

(02-06-2013 07:30 PM)snoop Wrote:  

Maybe you're overthinking this and it is really simple.....maybe you're a latent homosexual.

Fuck a dude and see if it makes you happy.

I Skullfucked your dad. No noticeable mood change.

[nek]

(02-06-2013 07:06 AM)Lemmo Wrote:  

If you are tying your happiness to women to any significant extent, you will always be miserable. They are big dumb animals and they will never live up to your standards because you are expecting them to have the intelligence, character, etc. of a man. We like babies even though they are sociopathic and animals even though they are sniveling and stupid so there is no reason to not like and be amused by women. But use them as a distraction and get your happiness elsewhere.

This is a good point. I'm of the opinion that what makes this difficult is that in alot of modern work environments (like mine) I have to deal with alot of women. And it that atmosphere you're expected to engage them as if they're the same as men. You're not really given a choice except to try to fit a square peg in a round hole.

[snoop]

(02-06-2013 10:33 PM)nek Wrote:  

(02-06-2013 07:30 PM)snoop Wrote:  

Maybe you're overthinking this and it is really simple.....maybe you're a latent homosexual.

Fuck a dude and see if it makes you happy.

I Skullfucked your dad. No noticeable mood change.

Tough break holmes. Guess your only choice is live a loyless life or end it all with a 12 gauge.

Seriously though, you are comparing women you have known for a short time to the people in your life you have known for decades, then you wonder why the newer relationship isn't as fullfilling.

[space]

(02-07-2013 08:43 AM)snoop Wrote:  

Seriously though, you are comparing women you have known for a short time to the people in your life you have known for decades, then you wonder why the newer relationship isn't as fullfilling.

You've nailed it. Also, women expect more from you than your friends do. No friend has ever asked me to take the trash out, for example.

[snoop]

(02-07-2013 09:28 AM)space Wrote:  

(02-07-2013 08:43 AM)snoop Wrote:  

Seriously though, you are comparing women you have known for a short time to the people in your life you have known for decades, then you wonder why the newer relationship isn't as fullfilling.

You've nailed it. Also, women expect more from you than your friends do. No friend has ever asked me to take the trash out, for example.

Women also provide more in some ways, unless of course you are fucking your friends.

[Christian McQueen]

Women for me are ENTERTAINMENT. Period. A gorgeous girl can be fun to go out with, fuck and spend some time with. That's it.

By you trying to find happiness with a girl you are putting them on a pedestal. Make yourself happy and don't base it on a girl. Trust me it will only make you co-dependent and miserable. Since I've made MY GOALS my focus and MY LIFE Numero Uno then I've become actually happy.

Women are like trophys. Collect em and put em on the shelf. Next.

[tenderman100]

Nek is having what we USED to call back in the day, an "existential crisis."

The existential crisis takes many forms -- for example,

"I am just one person, and when I die, sooner or later no one will give a shit about me, just like I don't give a shit about some anonymous guy who died 200 years ago."

These kind of statements -- and the sentiment that prompted the opening post -- bring into relief that hardness of reality. And that's where NEK is now -- I look around, and the women I see just don't seem to be worth much.

How do you get over existential crises? It's both simple..and profound. You embrace the reality You say to yourself, goddamn! IT DOESN"T FUCKING MATTER!!

Because, it doesn't. It is what it is. Reality cannot change. The universe's laws are fixed. Fixed laws are what MAKES a universe. Of course, you can effect changes at the edges, because you and your fellow humans have a frontal lobe, but the amygdyla, the hindbrain, these are ancient and unchangeable.

My advice to you is this -- stare into the abyss. Look at it...hard, really really hard. This is where we are headed...this is where we are now when it comes to women, who operate with a mental framework that they cannot control let alone understand (at least, as men, our consciousness is a bit more evolved).

Look at the abyss -- accept it -- embrace it -- then revel in it. The go out an slap your balls against some babes asscheeks and know that for those animalistic moments, you have beaten the abyss.

[gamepadawan]

(02-07-2013 05:51 PM)snoop Wrote:  

(02-07-2013 09:28 AM)space Wrote:  

(02-07-2013 08:43 AM)snoop Wrote:  

Seriously though, you are comparing women you have known for a short time to the people in your life you have known for decades, then you wonder why the newer relationship isn't as fullfilling.

You've nailed it. Also, women expect more from you than your friends do. No friend has ever asked me to take the trash out, for example.

Women also provide more in some ways, unless of course you are fucking your friends.

The key is to not have to take out the trash while fucking them.

[Sphere]

(02-08-2013 05:34 AM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  

Women for me are ENTERTAINMENT. Period. A gorgeous girl can be fun to go out with, fuck and spend some time with. That's it.

By you trying to find happiness with a girl you are putting them on a pedestal. Make yourself happy and don't base it on a girl. Trust me it will only make you co-dependent and miserable. Since I've made MY GOALS my focus and MY LIFE Numero Uno then I've become actually happy.

Women are like trophys. Collect em and put em on the shelf. Next.

Quoted for truth.