[Sebastian]

There are couple places where I get defensive from other guys.

One is a coffee shop where I see gays often.

The other one is a gym locker room.

I made just an eye contact with this average looking older guy but I figured out something was up right away.

I was changing clothes and looking elsewhere. But I could tell he kept staring at me. I could tell it was like a laser beam. When I looked at him, he said hi and tried to smile but it really creeped the hell out of me. (I almost wanted to say something bad because I was really uncomfortable)

I don't give a fuck about gays. that's not why I am writing this.

It made me think 'I might have been doing the same thing to girls' without realizing.

I check them out when they are looking somewhere else.
But the thing is they can tell while looking other directions.

I am also curious about my vibe. This guy wasn't very different than other normal guys but it was just creepy as hell.

Due to my bad experiences (running into gays in a shower area), I get defensive in a locker room. If it was other public places, I probably would've acted differently.
I am curious if girls will have a similar mental state at the bar

I never had a girl creeping me out so this is the only way I can double think about the way I approach.

[durangotang]

You have to own your own space, rather than just existing in other people's space. If some old gay dude is staring at your junk in the locker room, then look at him and say "you got a fucking problem?" That is your space.

I think the difference is that women like to be in the presence of a strong mans space - where as no straight guy likes to have their space (or frame) violated by an aggressive gay guy. Since women enjoy being in a dominant mans space, and they respond well to it, they can find it "creepy" to be eyed by a less dominant man who doesn't own his own space/frame and only checks her out when she is not looking - it makes them uncomfortable. But you see these are two different things.

Owning your own space and being direct and comfortable is what women call "confidence."

As for the gay coffee shop. Why even go there?

[_GQ_]

(12-27-2012 01:42 PM)durangotang Wrote:  

You have to own your own space, rather than just existing in other people's space. If some old gay dude is staring at your junk in the locker room, then look at him and say "you got a fucking problem?" That is your space.

I'd rather get dressed and get on with my day, perhaps meet women. Beats further exposing my penis to an old gay guy...

[durangotang]

How old are you guys?

[esperar]

(12-27-2012 12:41 PM)Sebastian Wrote:  

I never had a girl creeping me out so this is the only way I can double think about the way I approach.

I remember sitting in a cafe, and some fat chick fucking stared at me constantly for well over half an hour. Freaked me out big time. I am now very careful about the vibe I am putting out.

[jmoney29]

Bro on postmasculine wrote a related article: http://postmasculine.com/harassment

[Mage]

This

(12-27-2012 01:42 PM)durangotang Wrote:  

I think the difference is that women like to be in the presence of a strong mans space - where as no straight guy likes to have their space (or frame) violated by an aggressive gay guy. Since women enjoy being in a dominant mans space, and they respond well to it, they can find it "creepy" to be eyed by a less dominant man who doesn't own his own space/frame and only checks her out when she is not looking - it makes them uncomfortable. But you see these are two different things.