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Thoughts on Networking (Career)
#1

Thoughts on Networking (Career)

First, I give credit to Thomas the Rhymer for his posts in this area.

Second, all of you guys who are in high demand because of your education and experience combo can stop reading. The rest of us who are just starting our careers and hoping to not get stuck in something low-paying and dull for the rest of our lives have a different battle. Since we don't have unique technical skills/experience we have to turn to social skills to stand out from the other one million people who could do our job.

Here's one very long example of what to do about that situation.

The life of a socially successful 24-year old man

He wakes up early and does what he needs to in order to get ready for his day. *Maybe he wakes up with a pretty woman and “socializes” her*

He then goes into his morning fitness routine. It may be his only personal time during the day OR it may be a group run/bike/swim or fitness class. He may have even chosen this particular group because of their social and professional connections.

Then he checks in with his roommates briefly over breakfast and prepares for work.

Even traveling to work is an opportunity to network for this man. He carpools OR knows everyone on the bus/train by name. He knows where they work and a little about their personal lives and interests. OR he travels to work alone and takes that as his only personal time of the day.

Still, before he gets to his work site he socializes. He gets a coffee/bagel/donut/smoothie a few times a week and chats up people in line, the cashier, and the barista. He is careful in selecting his café and chooses a location where he’ll run into people who work near his office, friends/potential romantic interests, or people who work somewhere where he would eventually like to work. His choices are limited if he carpools or takes public transportation, but this doesn’t stop him from choosing a café that is within walking distance of his office.

Finally, he arrives. Yet, he does not go directly to his office. He takes time to socialize with people who work in nearby offices. He takes it as an opportunity to learn about opportunities at other companies that are right next door. He also uses it as a chance to make contacts and leverage the connections of those contacts outside of his office.

When he goes into his office he speaks to all of the frontline staff. He knows the security guard’s name and interests, he knows the secretary’s favorite candy, and he knows all of the executive assistants and the executives assistants’ assistants. They're not going to be the ones to stop him from speaking to senior directors and people in the C-Suite. If he doesn’t have enough time to do this before he clocks in, then he will find time during the rest of his day.

He arrives at his desk after saying hi to at least half of the people who are in his immediate workspace and probably has checked in with people outside of his team and department if there’s time.

He begins to work, but no one cares how good his work is. They only care about liking him and feeling as though he likes and cares about them. Because of this, he does a mediocre job at work and focuses on socializing. People know he is reliable and can get the job done. His strong social connections in the office ensure that he has the resources he needs to do his job. He may wish for more, but at this stage in his career he will need to focus on building a strong network that can eventually propel him into the position where he is most effective and more accountable for using his skills, intellect, and resources to perform beyond basic competence. The job he has now is just a good job for a 24-year old in a non-tech field; it’s nothing earth shattering and he could easily be replaced by another smiley 24-year old. They won’t replace him because they like him so much.

In fact, he started as an intern at the company. That’s when he first set out to be on a first name basis with 1/3 of his company. He probably got the internship through his connections, but he may have been one of the lucky ones who was chosen without being recommended by an insider. He interviews well. As his internship period came to a close there were numerous people ready to help him find another position within the company or use their connections to find him a position outside of the company.

And now he’s chosen to stay here. He uses his 15-minute break to socialize at work. A person concerned with competence would probably spend the time reading about trends in their career field or industry. He uses the fact that he is in an office full of working people as an opportunity to socialize and network. He doesn’t spend the time relaxing in the bathroom and hiding from people. He may even get out of the office and socialize with someone in the next office. He never eats lunch alone and usually eats with one or two groups from his immediate workspace. He routinely schedules lunch with a new person one day a week. Either way, if he does not get to know someone during his workday he asks to meet with them outside of work.

If he doesn’t have a carpool to catch then he is free to choose to attend after work functions. There’s happy hour a few times a month, basketball, fitness class at the company gym or nearby facility, etc. He may just go to happy hour with his carpool every now and then. At least once a week he has social plans immediately after work where he socializes with someone from his immediate work group and at least once a week he makes plans after work to socialize with someone outside of his office. He takes the bus home and does not use his Ipod to unwind. He socializes with the evening commute crowd on his train. If he’s driving then he takes the time to organize his schedule verbally or in his mind.

He arrives home and attends to the basics of life. Cooking, cleaning, and preparing for the immediate future are musts. He makes adjustments to his schedule and works on keeping in touch with people who are outside of his work life. He gets face-to-face time with new and old acquaintances by participating in community activities and socials three or four times a week. Finally, he takes an opportunity to check in with his roommates over dinner, in some fitness activity, relaxing by watching TV or playing video games together, or going out to socialize with them in a public venue. His roommates may not be as extraordinary as he is, but he’s made sure that he isn’t in a situation where he comes home to a stressful and energy draining environment.

At the end of the night he begins his personal grooming routine and let’s his mind wander where it may. He has guaranteed and unfocused personal time as he grooms, cleans, and organizes for the next day. Then he uses the last 30 minutes of his productive time to pursue a personal interest.
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How would you adapt this for someone who is unemployed and can't joke around the water cooler or flirt with the fat executive assistant every morning?
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#2

Thoughts on Networking (Career)

Get in at the bottom and work your ass off?
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#3

Thoughts on Networking (Career)

It sounds cool on paper but like a lot of (sometimes useless) work in real life.
I'm more of an introverted person and socializing just for the sake of socializing makes me tired after some time. I prefer to think about my stuff than talking with random people or know "everyone on the bus/train by name".
Anyhow to each his own.

Her pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola...
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#4

Thoughts on Networking (Career)

this is from some motivational book. i remember they had the example of the positive upbeat guy versus the negative introvert who was mad at life.
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#5

Thoughts on Networking (Career)

@Way Cool Jr.

Yeah this is definitely an example for people who meet three conditions: 1) competing with millions and millions of other under-employed/unemployed people to find an entry-level or mid-level job in a field that millions of people are qualified for, 2) can't find a friend or family member to give them a leg up on those other millions of qualified people, 3) aren't ready to seriously consider self-employment (though I've heard networking is key for finding vendors and industry connections and building a good client base for your own business)

There are certainly situations where a hard working nice guy will get noticed and be valued based on blue pill messages like "be grateful for your crappy job, work harder, send more resumes, and beg for a job." Talking about this means helping people out if they are finding that playing by nice guy rules isn't working.
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#6

Thoughts on Networking (Career)

Quote: (12-26-2012 06:26 PM)PartyonBro Wrote:  

this is from some motivational book. i remember they had the example of the positive upbeat guy versus the negative introvert who was mad at life.

Do you remember the name of the book or anything else about it? I haven't read it. I'm an introvert and I wasn't mad about it until it got in the way of my job search. Dating as an introvert is simple now that I have some Game fundamentals down.

I wrote this after reading a ton of networking blogs and finally finding one that laid it out plain and simple in a few lines:
"Why would someone want to hire you if there are a million other people who have the skills to do the job?"
"If you are getting hired for temp, contract, or intern positions and they aren't turning into full-time positions it's because they don't like you. You need to improve your social skills"
"People don't care about how smart you are. The corporate career ladder is meritocracy that isn't based on productivity and intelligence. 80% of it is based on social skills."

Thomas the Rhymer is active on Roosh and his post on Alpha Versus Beta Job Search Strategies helped me link game to career. Beta job seeker plays by the common rules of the job search and is practically begging for a job. Alpha job seeker uses social dominance to take his pick of the best opportunities. Definitely worth a read
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#7

Thoughts on Networking (Career)

Networking is EVERYTHING....Don't let anyone fool you....

I work in Finance and its a small work out there, after several years you start to know who works where, and what they do.....

Being well liked and known really carries it's weight...

Even teachers need networking, my brother got hired because he knows a principals son, etc etc etc....
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#8

Thoughts on Networking (Career)

where could I start learning networking? [Image: smile.gif]
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#9

Thoughts on Networking (Career)

The principles of networking are pretty simple...

Goal = create + strengthen win-win relationships
Method = connect with alot of people and offer something valuable

Types of value:

-knowledge/advice
-connect them to others in your network
-hearing them out, listening, compassion

There's other types. But basically it's "help people".

The hard part is becoming the sort of person who's constantly building + strengthening connections. Things like introversion, competitiveness, scarcity mindset, fear and bitterness all eclipse the "way of being" that is the core of networking. Being likable, social + helpful is just something you have to work on and be aware of you shortcomings around, I think.
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#10

Thoughts on Networking (Career)

Quote: (12-26-2012 02:44 PM)Poppinopolis Wrote:  

The life of a socially successful 24-year old man

The role model you've created is quiet extreme but anyone that sociable will rise up the corporate ladder. This is the kind of personality that is unfairly promoted to management (even if he doesn't have management skills), bypassing all the people that are doing the real grunt work.

I think this is a good write up precisely for those introverted people who are struggling to figure out what networking means.
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#11

Thoughts on Networking (Career)

Quote: (01-01-2013 11:49 AM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  

This is the kind of personality that is unfairly promoted to management (even if he doesn't have management skills), bypassing all the people that are doing the real grunt work.

This is a tough one to swallow. You mentioned that part of the ugly truth hidden in the red pill is that people who are very visible and liked tend to climb the social ladder faster than people who quietly pump out quality work. I'm starting to see how someone could justify this. If you are spending at least 40 hours a week with someone you want to like them. As long as you don't have to cover for their mistakes and the quality of the work is OK then there's no need to go with someone who is more productive and less "likable". The only people who care about productivity are the executives and the stock holders, but they don't have to work with that guy who is smelly, a little too quiet, and never wants to hang out after work.

I blame it partially on the feminization of the workforce. Women's feelings about who they like in their social work group outweigh the logic of hiring the most productive worker. It's also a result of sticking to a 40hr work week (in the U.S. anyway) even though the work could often be done within 25 hours by someone with average productivity.
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#12

Thoughts on Networking (Career)

Quote: (12-26-2012 02:44 PM)Poppinopolis Wrote:  

How would you adapt this for someone who is unemployed and can't joke around the water cooler or flirt with the fat executive assistant every morning?

Read "The Education of Millionaires."

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
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