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12-02-2012, 10:14 PM
Hey guys I've been in the game for about a year and half now. I'm 22 and still a virgin, I went from being shy and unable to talk to women to be able to open random girls around campus/classes and get numbers. But the numbers led to no dates. I'm a bit frustrated because after the first few months I got a few make outs with some pretty girls that led to nowhere, and haven't gotten anything since last year. I'm pretty worried because I'm graduating soon and am still a virgin and worried my lack of sexual experience will be a huge problem once I hit the real world. I was hoping by continuing to do approaches and getting numbers I would get laid before I graduate but it doesn't seem likely.
Since I'm graduating should I keep approaching random girls or focus more on social circles? I've never had a girlfriend before either. I'm just frustrated and exhausted from the game, I'm hoping once I get a job and some cash I can get some decent clothes and enough money to go out more.
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12-02-2012, 10:16 PM
Walk us through your routine. After you get the number and/or make out session, how do you handle the situation?
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12-02-2012, 10:22 PM
Many of us were where you are now at some point. One thing is clear, don't continue to do what you are doing because it's obvious you aren't getting the results that you desire. The good news is that you're still very, very, young and have come across a community that will be a great aid for you. I don't much about you or what your short comings are, but I would advise you to take care of the easy things first. Work out, maintain optimum hygiene, wear nice clothes that fit your physique, and make sure your logistics are as sound as possible.
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12-02-2012, 10:49 PM
Quote: (12-02-2012 10:45 PM)zeeman Wrote:
Quote: (12-02-2012 10:16 PM)CMan0928 Wrote:
Walk us through your routine. After you get the number and/or make out session, how do you handle the situation?
it depends on the situation, but generally I sit next to a random girl in class, make a comment about something like did you have this prof before? transition into conversation and get # at the end of class asking them to hang out/study. I only do this to maybe 3 girls in my smaller classes, but do more if the class is bigger. I approached maybe 5-6 girls in my class of 250, as I don't go to every class. I've done a few study sessions with some girls but couldn't isolate or escalate. The rest of the girls flake, I'd say 80%. Also the last make out I had was at a friends house party, I chatted a girl up, sat down in a corner made out; went to get a beer and the girl left. I also use alcohol as a crutch and I've learned that being drunk is very bad for gaming so I'm drinking a lot less now working on handling my alcohol.
When you say they "flake" on you, be specific. How are you approaching follow-up text messages?
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12-02-2012, 10:58 PM
with my text messages I usually say: hey whats up? what are you doing tonight? you wana hang out/at XYZ if I got their number on the pretext of hanging out. If I asked about studying together I'd be like lets study XYZ or something, one girl texted me that if I wanted something more it's not gonna happen (I'm assuming this is a shit test) that we're just going to study together. When I got study session one time a girl brought her friend who was in the class to so I felt shut out and didn't say much.
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12-02-2012, 11:02 PM
Those texts seem a bit generic/needy, start working on that. I'm new myself, I've come to believe that game is a lot like working out. You can get some solid progress really fast, but once you hit a plateau, you have to change it up a bit to keep progressing. Focus on something different than what you have been.
I say pick out a simple concept, and work on it like a mad man. Since you got over opening, which is a huge hurdle, next try escalation / isolation, which are also huge hurdles. Create sexual tensions (DQs, negs, etc). That's my next focus.
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12-02-2012, 11:25 PM
I think your problem is that you initially are pigeonholing yourself into the platonic/ study buddy role with the chicks that you meet in the classroom. I had the same issue early on in undergrad where I would get a chicks number and study with her alot, but found escalation difficult due to the fact that I missed my window for attraction. My advice would be to first of all not rush to get her #, especially if your rationale is just to 'study'. Talk to her for a few class sessions and learn more and more about her then try to connect. After all, you have all semester to work on her. After you've made a connection via some same hobby or a similar type interest then get her number and try to hang out based on what you've learned. Things like going to grab something to eat after class, going to the basketball GAME on campus, meeting up on campus bar or club on the weekend or just hanging out between classes and talking are better alternatives than just trying to study IMO.
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12-02-2012, 11:34 PM
Thanks for the advice on texting, I'll try and change it up a bit. I don't know how to get over the neediness aspect without ever fucked a girl before, and I'll try to work on escalation/isolation. Do you guys think I should just go for broke and fuck anything to get over the virginity?
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12-03-2012, 12:25 AM
Escalate quicker. Don't necessarily mask your intentions, either (studying). Also, make it more social than scholarly. You can do all the studying you want when you're alone, but when you're with a girl get her out the dorm for awhile. You can always go back later if she's feeling you. I know your funds are limited, but get creative. Go somewhere off, but near campus and see what happens (Park, Coffee Shop). Any popular, and free, local destination will do really.
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12-03-2012, 12:27 AM
And don't text. Call. Keep it brief and to the point. "You free in an hour?" "What's on your agenda later on?". Then ask her to join you. If your texting skills suck then it's time to try something new.
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12-03-2012, 12:51 AM
Do not think you are behind the curve. Trust me, 22 is YOUNG. You are only just beginning.
Sounds like you don't like alcohol. Can you strike a balance and only get mildly buzzed? Maybe eat a full meal with a good amount of protein and fat before going out for drinks?
Also: make your meet ups with girls unambiguously social, and make them simple drinks dates with good logistics built in--which is to say, you want to be near a place where you can pull for the bang once she's had her fill of wine.
I would encourage you not to reinvent the wheel. Alcohol may not be something you like or need, but I swear man, it works wonders on getting girls ready to make out and have sex. And at your age, the girls who are MOST willing to have sex are almost invariably going to be drinkers.
I say learn and perfect a smooth, simple "drinks date" routine. And make her buy the second round.
Screw study dates, coffee dates, etc.
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12-05-2012, 10:33 AM
Looks like he's running standard text game to me? At least that's how I remember 'bang layin it out
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12-05-2012, 10:35 AM
Zeeman get a hooker. If you come off as a virgin to your first she won't fuck you again so it could pay dividends
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12-05-2012, 10:46 AM
Don't get a hooker for your first time. A baby boy turns gay every time a male loses his virginity to a hooker.
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12-05-2012, 12:47 PM
Quote: (12-02-2012 10:14 PM)zeeman Wrote:
Hey guys I've been in the game for about a year and half now. I'm 22 and still a virgin, I went from being shy and unable to talk to women to be able to open random girls around campus/classes and get numbers. But the numbers led to no dates. I'm a bit frustrated because after the first few months I got a few make outs with some pretty girls that led to nowhere, and haven't gotten anything since last year. I'm pretty worried because I'm graduating soon and am still a virgin and worried my lack of sexual experience will be a huge problem once I hit the real world. I was hoping by continuing to do approaches and getting numbers I would get laid before I graduate but it doesn't seem likely.
Since I'm graduating should I keep approaching random girls or focus more on social circles? I've never had a girlfriend before either. I'm just frustrated and exhausted from the game, I'm hoping once I get a job and some cash I can get some decent clothes and enough money to go out more.
Man, I feel your frustrations. It's 2 steps back for every 1 step forward too.
You gotta have a hobby outside of women that you really enjoy to keep you grounded, preferably not a nerdy thing like collecting star wars memoribilia.
Girlfriends are not what they're cracked up to be. I know you don't believe me, cause i didn't believe it either when people told me before I got my first gf, but once you've dated a few girls, you'll see.
If you're diabolical, restart with some of the old girls and tell them the truth that you're a virgin and you dont want to graduate a virgin. The #1 rule for this is not to sound beta & wimpy, but either do it super-cool/casual or mischievously. It might work & you got nothing to lose. Score one for pity sex. I know quite a few girls who end up fucking these losers (even the girls admit that they're losers) just cause their around one the girl is bored. That kind of thing makes you scratch your head about the utility of all this game stuff on occassion.
Otherwise, there's that expression:
When you've already dug yourself a hole and you can't backup to get out, the only thing you can do is dig yourself deeper in.
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12-05-2012, 01:34 PM
My two cents: try same night lays. Approach girls, try to build a connection, and once there, escalate. if it doesn't work, move to the next one. I guess it's way way easier to get laid with a girl you just met than with one you have been in few dates.
Be confident, don't be afraid of what a girl might think (girls like men who know what they want), and never forget: tease.
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12-05-2012, 03:21 PM
Stop "hanging out" with girls. Drink dates are the way to go my friend.
Remember these steps:
Isolate
Intoxicate
Escalate
Fornicate
Team Nachos
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12-05-2012, 09:30 PM
Thanks for the video about framing interactions, I'm going to delete all my numbers and start fresh once I finish my exams. I'll start with the compliment and tease at the beginning. Also how often tease girls? and how do I fully engage girls? sometimes in interactions I really engage them for a bit before I start bantering and then not leading anywhere because I've lost the engagement and just try to get the number before the conversation dies.
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12-05-2012, 09:47 PM
I always act like I'm in a big hurry to go absolutely nowhere. If the girl stops me I'll say something to the effect of "I was just heading out to meet someone" or "I've got somewhere to be in like 15 minutes", then make sure to look at your watch or cellphone to really sell it. Then you can grab the number quickly and bounce. Don't call her that same day. I wait 2 days usually. But that's subjective, so do whatever you want. I guess this demonstrates DHV in the sense that you're a busy guy with lots of options and responsibilities. I play that role to perfection.
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12-06-2012, 02:43 AM
Quote: (12-03-2012 12:27 AM)CMan0928 Wrote:
And don't text. Call. Keep it brief and to the point. "You free in an hour?" "What's on your agenda later on?". Then ask her to join you. If your texting skills suck then it's time to try something new.
I disagree, I think for one texting is the norm and what's popular with most chicks under 30, and more than that phone game is much more difficult. If this guy is a newbie he needs to stick to texting, just keep it simple and logistical, but also light and playful. I agree he's not taking the right route, but I think phone game will only be tougher for him in the long run.
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12-06-2012, 02:50 AM
Quote: (12-05-2012 09:47 PM)CMan0928 Wrote:
I always act like I'm in a big hurry to go absolutely nowhere. If the girl stops me I'll say something to the effect of "I was just heading out to meet someone" or "I've got somewhere to be in like 15 minutes", then make sure to look at your watch or cellphone to really sell it. Then you can grab the number quickly and bounce. Don't call her that same day. I wait 2 days usually. But that's subjective, so do whatever you want. I guess this demonstrates DHV in the sense that you're a busy guy with lots of options and responsibilities. I play that role to perfection.
Disagree. This guy is already having a hard time with flakey numbers that go nowhere, I wouldn't recommend trying to get a girls' number real quick, and then bailing before there's even a connection made.
The greater the connection made, the better the chance she'll respond to your text and be down to hang out. Girls give out their numbers like it's nothing now a days, she'll give it out and barely remember who you are a few days later.
The get in-get out sniper approach of getting girls numbers in mass works best if you are in a big city and are a really good looking guys like Paul Janka, for the average virgin on a college campus, it's not a great idea.
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12-06-2012, 03:04 AM
Basically I think the OP's problem is that he's coming off as too nice guy, and like others have stated it's ambiguous whether he's trying to pick them up or make a new study buddy. I had no game cracking when I was in college, so I can't speak on converting study buddies to fuck buddies, but I would not recommend working that angle. As been stated stick to the script, get girls on actual dates where you go out for drinks. I think drink dates are ideal, but you can do other stuff too, like sushi, go for a hike, check out an art show, etc. Point is it's got to be a real one on one date, none of this lets get together and study stuff.
Also, it's highly likely that the OP hasn't really cultivated a strong sexual vibe, and is coming off as platonic, shy, unsure, unconfident, or even awkward in his interactions with women. Being an adult virgin is usually a mindfuck for a lot of guys when it doesn't have to be, by stressing on it and thinking about it, it's just making you that much less confident, and more hard on yourself than you need to be. At 22 years old, you're not that bad, some guys stay virgins into their mid to late 20's, but you don't want to be that guy.
Get out there and put in the work, just make sure that are flirtatious in your interactions with women, and make your intentions more clear. Once you get a girl out on a date, don't be shy and timid. Be, fun, playful, flirtatious, and charming, but also be assertive, lead, and escalate the interaction. Women always expect the man to escalate and lead the interaction when it comes to being sexual, even if she really wants you to make a move, chances are slim she'll do it herself.
Don't be afraid to fail, and just keep working on progress. Getting girls numbers is step one, step two is going on dates, step three is escalating sexually. Even if you go from make outs, to sucking tits and fingering, to bjs, as long as you make progress towards the sex you're all good. Most chicks when isolated will fuck if they are already lettting you finger their pussies and suck on their tities, just keep pushing towards the sex.
Lower your standards if need be. Do not fuck a hooker, and don't fuck a nasty wilderbeast just to lose your virginity. That said don't be one of these guys who's holier than thou, but has never been laid, only wanting to fuck the hottest women who are 8's and above. Fuck a Goddamn 6 if you have to. Oh yeah and sex isn't that fucking complicated their are completely stupid fools doing it all the time. All it takes is sticking your dick and giving the old heave ho, pelvic thrust, don't psyche yourself out into thinking you are going to be horrible at it your first time, you might throw down for an hour like a fucking pornstar.
