[BoiBoi]

I friend of mine who has spent the last 15 years abroad in London and recently moved back to his homecity Berlin, told me something which made me think.
He said that after he came back he had bumped into an old acquaintance of his from way back, the kinda guy he used to smoke weed with and trash some shit, acting hard and all, angry urban teenager style...
Anyways, he said that after the encounter he somehow got into some weird, flash-backy mood. Like living back in his hometown gives him the feeling of failure, in sense of not having achieved anything, although he does have a job, gets pussy and everything is fine.

Well, I thought about it and I can relate to him. I moved out of my homecity seven years ago and spent some years studying in a different city in Germany and several years working and studying in Latin America. I came back permanently last year and ever since, I got a strange feeling I couldnt put a name on. Unwittingly, my buddy helped me out with that.

Kinda strange realization, since there is absolutely no logic connection between staying in his homecity and being a fuckup.

[WanderingSoul]

I left my hometown for about 8 years right after high school. I was here for about 8ish months last year, went back to Thailand for 4.5 months, and now back in my hometown for the past 3 months. Luckily, I should be back in BKK in a month or two.

My hometown is a small, piece of shit white trash mountain town. I am convinced that anyone with any brains or ambition left here long ago, and the only people who stick around are here because they are crazy/complete fuckups. I think the rate of borderline personality disorder in the 20-30 year old female demographic has to be through the fucking roof. The amount of drama and insanity that happens here is alarming.

So yes, I understand what you are feeling. I have a love-hate relationship with my hometown. Love being FROM here, but not actually being here. Luckily, I will be gone soon enough, and won't be coming back. I made a mistake in getting trapped here again. Won't be doing that anymore.

[BoiBoi]

Yeah, I read from your posts that you are into ecommerce, right? Good for you if you can be location independent, this is something Im trying to achieve as well at some point. Berlin is not a bad place to live, but I want to see more of the world while I can.

[Technics]

Here's the way I look at it: If you are not living in exactly the best city(s) for you given your preferences, education or career ambitions, then you are not living up to your potential.

Sometimes this is the city one was born or raised in, but most likely not, given law of averages.

People born/raised in world-class cities like London, Paris, Los Angeles, New York, etc. may have to "stay home" for exactly what they need career wise. These people are certainly not failures in my book.

That said, I still think everyone should live in AT LEAST one other city in their 20s.

[Technics]

Boiboi,

Also, totally relate to what your friend said about the "flashback" effect. My theory is that if you are a person that tries to improve yourself, going back geographically to where you were when you were in a state of your life that you are unsatisfied with is bound to make you have those flash-backs.

I get it it too with one of the cities I spent a great deal of my childhood in.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I hated my city and wanted to emigrate asap. By the time I could, things improved a lot and I decided that I don't mind staying there as long as things are good. If it gets bad again, I'm ready to move out, but in general I don't think it's a failure.

Would marrying a quality woman (if you had the option to be sexually satisfied by banging sluts forever) be a failure?

[porscheguy]

It doesn't mean you're a failure. I think it's more important to have the stones to at least leave for a little while to experience something different. But if you go back to your home city because you decide the grass wasn't greener elsewhere, then all it means is that you realized the grass wasn't greener.

[Innuendo]

I am never able to pull in my home city, although I've been pulling in many places around the world.
Every time I go back there for a couple of days I meet with family and friends from high school and I get this weird feeling, like I'm losing my independence or something.
Last time I was there for 2 months and still I didn't get anything, longest streak in a long time.

[bacon]

it probably depends on your hometown and what your coming back to. so if your from new york or miami going back home is not the same as moving back to buffalo or detroit. also if your returning to take over a family business that wouldnt be so bad.

however the most interesting people i know have lived in other countries or at least have not spent their whole life in the same city even if its a major city like new york or london.

[presidentcarter]

I don't think I could move back to my mid-size city/hometown. Even though I kind of have a open offer for a good job there whenever I want it, living in that city would be the death of me. I'd feel like has been mention - underachieved. After living in or near two of the country's biggest cities, I'd feel like an outsider in something a fraction of the size.