[DVY]

Background info- met this Thai girl at a bar in downtown LA. Due to poor logistics, couldnt close that night. Smashed on 2nd date after hitting up some local bars in K-town. On 3rd date, got the "are you dating anybody?" after sex.

Genuinely nice girl, sweet, feminine, cute. I forgot my dress shirt at her place on the 2nd night. She sent me a text a day later w/a picture of my shirt cleaned/pressed. Told me i could pick it up anytime.

How do you handle the GF question?

My approach-
1)Hang out about every other week (Every week seems to trigger the "we are getting intimate" emotion too quickly)
2) keep it light and fun
3) dont meet any of her friends
4) i told her "i dont date"

Feeback/Thoughts? How do you guys do it? Keep in mind, this is a v. nice girl

[WesternCancer]

You know shes probably been violated in every hole, in every way imaginable right?

Treat her as any other girl. Use Tuth's line "I'm looking for a quality girl"

[XXL]

"i'm single i know what i'm looking for". then she asks about it. then i tell her my tastes/expectations in a way that sounds amazing

[Blaze Frazier]

(10-25-2012 02:31 AM)XXL Wrote:  

"i'm single i know what i'm looking for". then she asks about it. then i tell her my tastes/expectations in a way that sounds amazing

She needs to be well-read, smart, athletic and take it up the ass at least twice an hour.

[Veloce]

Yup, I can vouch for Tuth's "I'm looking for a *quality* girl."

Also good response to that question, "I'm not in anything *serious*"

[Way Cool Jr]

I wouldn't qualify as "nicer girl" someone that let's you bang her on the second date...

[WestIndianArchie]

Treat them all the same, whether they iron your shirts or not.

WIA

[DVY]

Elaborate please. How do you describe your tastes/expectations, especially with it sounding amazing?

(10-25-2012 02:31 AM)XXL Wrote:  

"i'm single i know what i'm looking for". then she asks about it. then i tell her my tastes/expectations in a way that sounds amazing

[DVY]

Don't get me wrong. I have NO intention of dating this girl.

In my opinion, the best way is to let a girl down softly.

"I dont date/Im looking for a quality girl" are tailored to American stuck-up LA beezies, and they lap it up. (It implies they are not up to par). With a sweet girl, you run the risk of scaring her off.

So far, ones i have liked- "Im not looking for anything...[pause] serious" and leave it at that.

[DVY]

Don't you think you should reward good behavior? Shouldnt you treat a girl who will take care of you and your desires better than an average pump and dump slut w/a dirty pad who you have no desire to see again!!!

I dont get this sentiment. She plays nice, i treat her as ho 1.25 (obv not as princess).

(10-25-2012 06:56 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Treat them all the same, whether they iron your shirts or not.

WIA

[Alpha Hunter Zero]

@ DVY: from what Im reading it looks like you have an internal conflict over what is the perfect answer or method for this girl. The truth is though, there is no perfect way to drop her. You assume she's a good girl based on what, the fact that she ironed your shirt? Don't be so quick to label her as a good girl, you haven't seen her enough to determine that, after all did'nt she let you smash on the second date? You want to let her down easy, date her a few more times then at the end of the last date tell her that she's too good for you and she deserves a man who will appreciate her a lot more. Immediate short term sting for her followed by a long period of thinking maybe you're right. Done.

[WestIndianArchie]

(10-25-2012 01:48 PM)DVY Wrote:  

Don't you think you should reward good behavior? Shouldnt you treat a girl who will take care of you and your desires better than an average pump and dump slut w/a dirty pad who you have no desire to see again!!!

I dont get this sentiment. She plays nice, i treat her as ho 1.25 (obv not as princess).

(10-25-2012 06:56 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Treat them all the same, whether they iron your shirts or not.

WIA

Aren't you pumping and dumping her though?

Ironing a shirt means that you have to "let her down easy"?

WIA.

[DVY]

Thanks guys for a different perspective. I suppose the issue is that I get too far ahead of myself.

@Alpha Hunter Zero- yes, it is an internal conflict. Taking what you want, and not giving in return. Ive hooked up w/plenty of girls who were relatively new to ONS/2nd dates. But yes, caution is wise. Thanks for the feedback.

I usually never officially break things off w/girls. Just minimize contact from every week, to every other week, then to never.

Funny how a small nicety can throw you off balance (especially when not expected) ....

[XXL]

(10-25-2012 01:38 PM)DVY Wrote:  

Elaborate please. How do you describe your tastes/expectations, especially with it sounding amazing?

(10-25-2012 02:31 AM)XXL Wrote:  

"i'm single i know what i'm looking for". then she asks about it. then i tell her my tastes/expectations in a way that sounds amazing

i tell what i find very attractive and not surprisingly these are traits that every women would like to have. from psychological standpoint..

- it gives them "ideal" to live up to if she decides to stick with me. expectation force the other person to bring the best personality to the surface around me. it's like you are in some high status person's house and you control yourself to be cool to not fuck up your impression.

- it shows i have standards so she feels qualified just by being there with me, in other words she feels "special".

- it shows my personal boundaries and things i don't need to surround myself with. it also convey that stupid behaviour will be called out.


ok so my taste is... tall, slender, beautiful / feminine, classy / caring / good in bed, horny / high tempered / not jealous / adventurous/sporty .. girl. these are all positive traits. i talk about it in a way it sounds cool. yes, it sounds like an ideal and that's the point. the higher level you shoot for higher level you might actually achieve. you give somebody an ideal to shoot for, they can't get it but they try hard and reach high level. but when they shoot for mediocrity then they can actually get it.

- tall/slender/beautiful - it's given cause i can choose that off cold approach

- feminine/classy - i tell that feminine eloquent and graceful women are just amazing, that they're comfortable in different environments and can talk to different people, that they're social and easygoing, they dress well which is huge,

- caring - i tell that it's oh so pleasant to watch a girl who can take care of details and be thoughtful,

- good in bed/horny - i tell them that classy women who also are total horny sluts in bed are top woman on earth, that it's like the most amazing mix known to a man ever, that woman in touch with her sexuality is my dream, that i can't imagine a girl being cold, that i hate shy girls in bed etc.

- not jealous - tell that i love girls who feels secure enough to be ok with me talking to other girls, who don't get all cranky over some stupid shit like not answering phone when i didn't hear the ring, etc.

- high tempered - i tell that i love enthusiastic vibrant women with energy

- adventurous/sporty - i tell that sport is big thing and i like when a girl have that adventurous side who can play with me this or that even if she acutally can't, that i hate typical princesses who can't sweat or move or just do something physical, etc.


so the way i describe it is "i love / i hate". when you say you love something about the person that person will be more likely to behave in a way you like to get approval. it's classic validation. "he likes me like that, i get ego
boost when i'm like that, it feels yummy to my self image, i will be like that".

notice that these traits/tastes are pretty common. but the fact that i talk about it early it on is uncommon [cause most guys play it safe and say whatever to keep a chick happy]. let's say a chicks smokes. if we got something going on i tell her it's disgusting and i would never date her and i would not even kiss her cause it tastes awful but we can be friends, barely. or let's say a girl shows overall social grace, i compliment that, i say that's amazing how she conduct herself and that i feel like we can date for 5 days to see if she's for real or it's just some mask she put on for tonight. stuff like that. to break it down it's validation game mixed with personal stardards. i point out something positive/negative about her and appreciate it or dismiss with smile in playful way [never seriously, i'm still quite random guy after all]. this is very different from saying stuff like "you're cute" or "you're not that smart". <- these are just random vague comments with no power.

that's also quite good way that you handle GF question. instead of answering yes/no/etc start talking what you love/hate about girls.

- do you have a GF?
- you want to know what i like, ok, blablabla..

[Parlay44]

I always go the humor route...

I had one for a while in prison but it didn't work out. We wanted different things

[Beyond Borders]

I usually handle this question by saying, "I don't believe in girlfriends." With a sly smirk.

Usually works in my favor as I become a challenge to them.

A nicer girl that you don't want to scare away? Well, first, be sure that's really what you're working with. Thai girls tend to be good at deception - I imagine this is true even if she's American-born to immigrant parents as the typical cultural behaviour would have been passed down.

That said, I've often let girls down easily without scaring them away by simply being honest. "I'm not really looking for anything right now but if someone came along and we just clicked, I'd consider it." Etc, etc.

Then again - she only asked if you had a gf. It's a simple, "No, not right now." She hasn't insisted on being one yet, so you have some time to work with here. If she does press, tell her you like to take things slow and get to know each other first before jumping into a relationship. lol