[Alpha Hunter Zero]

I searched around the forum and I see no one has mentioned this site yet. If you guys were ever wondering what you should avoid doing and saying while out with a girl this web site will give you a plethora of examples of distgustingly beta behavior. The website is http://www.notalwaysromantic.com. Check it out but be warned, its pretty fucking bad :/

[iop890]

Quote:

(I’m a very short, larger woman while my boyfriend is tall and lean. It’s our anniversary, and every year we reenact our first date, where we ride fair rides until nauseated. Most of the time I know which rides can accommodate me, so I don’t waste time trying to squeeze in smaller rides or hop on the bigger
ones.)

Me: “Okay, so what do you want to ride next? Ferris-wheel?”

Boyfriend: “Nah, not fast enough.” *points to a ride that I haven’t seen before* “Let’s try that.”

Me: *skeptical* “I don’t know. It looks like I might not be able to fit.”

Boyfriend: “Nonsense! It just goes in a circle and barely off the ground. I’m sure you can ride it.”

Me: “Alright…”

(Sure enough, when I try to get on the ride, the handle bar doesn’t quite fit. The ride operator is waiting for me to get off while other patrons are waiting to get on.)

Me: *trying to laugh back my embarrassment “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I knew it wouldn’t work.” *struggling to get off* “I’m sorry!”

Boyfriend: *grabs my hand as he helps me get down* “Do not be sorry! This ride just can’t handle your awesomeness!”

(I dubbed him a keeper. He’s my fiancé now!)

[Matt3B]

Oh my God.

[teh_skeeze]

I lost control of my bowels reading that. It sucks because I just bought these jeans.

[cat_a_clysm]

http://www.reddit.com

[Alpha Hunter Zero]

It gets a looooot worse. You only scratched the surface. Btw, the first time I read that story above I lol'd.

[Alpha Hunter Zero]

@cat a clysm: reddit has certain sections that are beta but as a whole entity in terms of what we discuss here (game, dating, courting, sex, seduction) I'm positive the other website is more beta with exact examples.

[iop890]

Quote:

(My boyfriend and I are walking out of the restaurant after eating dinner. I go to kiss him and he pokes me in the side.)

Boyfriend: *poke*

Me: “Don’t do that!”

Boyfriend: *poke*

Me: “Stop poking my fat!”

Boyfriend: “It’s not fat, it’s concentrated awesome!”

Same guy?

[scorpion]

The tale of a know-it-all, feminist wannabe supergirl and her beta orbiter

Quote:

(An acquaintance and I are getting materials for a costume we’re both working on, a Gundam (essentially, a giant robot). He’s the one that will be wearing the finished costume, while my costume is the technician from the same anime series; her outfit consists of a fitted and fairly short dress and jacket.)

Him: “Man, you gotta be careful at the convention!”

Me: “What?”

Him: “All those pervs and fanboys! Dat a** is gonna attract them like crazy.”

Me: “Eh, I can handle the creepers at the convention.”

Him: “Naw, it’ll be up to me to protect you from the creepy fanboys. I’m all up in that chivalrous honor thing.”

(I’ve known for awhile that he has a huge crush on me. I also know that he’s a horny pervert; he fronts it with this sort of faux-chivalry thing to try and get into a woman’s pants.)

Me: *starting to get annoyed* “I’m perfectly capable of telling a pervert off, y’know.”

Him: “Yeah, but these guys, they don’t take ‘no’ from a woman. They’ll listen to a guy telling them off! But don’t worry, I’ll protect you from the bad guys!”

Me: *visibly annoyed* “I don’t need a ‘protector’ at the convention. There will be security all over the place, and I am perfectly capable of inflicting grievous bodily harm in self-defense. Plus I’ve got pepper spray in my purse.”

Him: *oblivious* “Yeah, any guys try and get close to you, they’ll have to deal with me first, and I won’t take any of their s***!”

Me: *finally had it* “You won’t be dealing with anyone. You will be wearing a costume over seven feet tall. You’ll be on seven inch tall giant platform shoes. You are barely going to be able to walk, never mind ‘rescuing’ maidens from the scaaaary creepers at the convention.”

Him: “But you’ll be in that short dress!”

Me: “And you have no business dictating who is allowed to speak with me at the convention! You are not my boyfriend, you will never be my boyfriend, and if you were my boyfriend, that sort of attitude would bring that relationship to a screeching and immediate halt! Are we clear?”

Him: *shrinking back* “Okay, okay! You know I’m just looking out for you, babe.”

(He ended up getting the ‘just friends/no I will not sleep with you’ talk. Not too long after the convention, we had a rather major falling out and haven’t spoken since.)

[Basil Ransom]

These aren't even betas. They're what I call 'internet people.'

As I said in another thread:

Internet people only exist on the internet, and you are virtually guaranteed to never meet them in real life. This is a good thing. If you do, you should seriously reconsider your choice of hobbies and friends. They think weird unfunny shit like this is the height of comedy:



They look like this:







^ Jennifer Hepler, the woman responsible for homo-eroticizing Bioware games, apparently.

[scorpion]

I think this is a picture of the couple from iop890's post.



Even the fattie in the corner looks on with disgust!

[Alpha Hunter Zero]

@scorpion: you have no idea how badly I wish there was a like button on the mobile version I'm currently using lol

[Alpha Hunter Zero]

@ basilransom: I remember that post (that ugly pink blob shit is hard to forget). Even if I never encounter these people in real life I shudder to think these guys truly exist. As for the pictures you posted, you can be sure that those are the faces of pure evil....

[Rah]

pre-bang white knight story written by girl = friend zoned

pre-bang white knight story written by guy = gets the girl

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

That pic that Scorpion posted made me think. Does the guy getting the blowjob think of how awful it looks? Should he care?

[Aliblahba]

(10-24-2012 09:31 PM)scorpion Wrote:  

I think this is a picture of the couple from iop890's post.



Even the fattie in the corner looks on with disgust!

Oh man oh man.

[Wool Suit]

That look of sheer terror on that guy's face speaks volumes.

Revolting.

[Veloce]

Even the DOG in the lower right hand corner is looking incredibly concerned.

[Alpha Hunter Zero]

That photo above gave me an idea. Should we try and find funny and/or humiliating pictures to match with certain posts we deem untolerable? Guys, your thoughts?

[bacon]

(My boyfriend and I are at dinner with friends. Most of them are married or in long-term relationships. As we are leaving the table, he wraps his arm around me and suddenly grabs me just above my hip.)

Me: “Ow! What are you doing?”

Boyfriend: “Hmmmmm…”

Me: “What? What is it?”

Boyfriend: *squeezing my hip* “It’s like a pastry thingie.”

Me: “What?!”

Friend: “Did you just call her fat?”

Boyfriend: “I meant…like…like baklava. Sweet? And layered?”

Me: *fuming*

Friend: “I don’t think she’s buying it, dude.”

[Spike]

(10-24-2012 09:31 PM)scorpion Wrote:  

I think this is a picture of the couple from iop890's post.



Even the fattie in the corner looks on with disgust!

Dude, This is the moment where you should politely excuse yourself, leave the room and shoot yourself. Or better yet, do us all a favor and shoot that blob too.

[bacon]

(My boyfriend and I are horsing around in bed. He grabs my belly and starts tickling me.)

Me: “No! Don’t touch my fat!”

Boyfriend: “Where am I supposed to touch you, then?”

(I give him a disbelieving look.)

Boyfriend: “…oh my God.”

another one

(I am talking to my boyfriend one night when he suddenly asks about us going on a double date with one of his friends. I’ve been struggling to lose weight for awhile, and he knows I’m really sensitive about it. )

Me: “I don’t know. I hate going out to eat with people and being the fattest one in the bunch.”

Boyfriend: “Oh, you won’t be. [Friend's girlfriend] is a little bit bigger than you.”

Me: “Oh, well.”

Boyfriend: *in an earnest tone* “Yeah, she just recently had a kid.”

Me: “So you’re saying I’m only a little smaller than a person who just had a child?”

Boyfriend: *horrified look* “Oh! No, no, no. I just meant that she’s…you’re smaller than…um, just, no.”

(Silence.)

Boyfriend: “I’ll just go move my stuff to the couch now.”

[Alpha Hunter Zero]

(10-25-2012 04:08 PM)Neil Skywalker Wrote:  

[quote='scorpion' pid='293841' dateline='1351132274']
I think this is a picture of the couple from iop890's post.



Even the fattie in the corner looks on with disgust!

Dude, This is the moment where you should politely excuse yourself, leave the room and shoot yourself. Or better yet, do us all a favor and shoot that blob too.
[/quo You would probably need a tank to take that thing down lol

[R Smoov]

Quote:

(My husband and I are both professors at the same university. He’s a physics professor and mildly autistic. This means his social skills are terrible until he knows you quite well. I walk into his classroom before he starts teaching to see if he wants something to eat.)

Me: “Sweetie, do you want something from the deli?”

(My husband shakes his head no and gives me a little smile before walking away to collect his notes.)

Student: “Are you his assistant or something?”

Me: “No, I’m his wife.”

Student: “No, really?”

Me: “Yeah, really.”

Student: *grins* “What’s a woman like you doing with a guy like him?”

Me: “A guy like him?”

Student: “You know, he’s…different.”

Me: “Oh, I see a difference.”

Student: *waggles eyebrows and leans in* “Exactly–”

Me: “He’s getting laid tonight and you’re not.”

(I walk over, grab my husband’s butt, and plant a lip-lock on him before walking out. The other students in the class cheer while the jerk stands there, floored. I’m a bad wife for embarrassing the pants off of my husband, but I still think it was totally worth it!)

Mildly autistic husbands got game

[WesternCancer]

What I find interesting about these is the subtext that these people KNOW how things really work, but have no other options/have been corrupted so they act like this.

ie.

"(My boyfriend and I are horsing around in bed. He grabs my belly and starts tickling me.)

Me: “No! Don’t touch my fat!”

Boyfriend: “Where am I supposed to touch you, then?”

(I give him a disbelieving look.)"

Freudian slip. Deep down he knows shes a fat hog, but has no other options etc. This manifests itself in his choice of response.

"(An acquaintance and I are getting materials for a costume we’re both working on, a Gundam (essentially, a giant robot). He’s the one that will be wearing the finished costume, while my costume is the technician from the same anime series; her outfit consists of a fitted and fairly short dress and jacket.)"

I'm willing to bet she could pull off the costume and vice versa. There are also probably female gundam robots. Why the choice of costumes/roles then? The girl KNOWS deep down her place is to service the man. She knows this will make her happy. She gets him to play the role of the strong, alpha destructive robot while she is the one who waits back in their HQ for him to come back from battle and service/fix him... to take care of him. When he acts like a beta bitch this just amplifies her disgust.