spins the wheel:
"Ethlie Anne Vare was in love: When she was with him, her entire body was buzzing with excitement. When they parted ways, she was desolate. All of which might sound like your typical healthy, head-over-heels romance, only there was one problem: Vare says she’s been in love over a hundred times.
“I had a new ‘soul mate’ every month,” says Vare, a writer living in Los Angeles. (One time, the giddy rush inspired her to move in with a man the same day they met.) But inevitably, each relationship would fizzle out: either her boyfriend would leave her, or she’d grow bored and kick him to the curb herself. Over time, the emotional highs and lows of falling in and out of love began to drain Vare. “The pain just got too awful,” she admits. “I was suffering for three months over a relationship that lasted three weeks. I was like an alcoholic, where the hangover was worse than the drunk [feeling] was good.”
When Vare was 46, she attended a meeting run by a 12-step program for love addiction at the urging of a friend. There, “I listened to other peoples’ stories and realized, ‘Oh, this sounds like me,’” she recalls. That’s when it dawned on her that the rush she felt during the early stages of romance wasn’t love, per se, but addiction — and it’s one that many people share. “I’ve learned I’m not alone,” Vare says. “I also realized that I can’t do this anymore. If you’re 22, that’s one thing. But if you’re just doing the same thing over and over and over again, it’s time to change.”
...Love addiction has been gaining public awareness in the past few years... And while love addiction might seem like more of a female affliction to most, Vare argues that men are equally susceptible.
“I believe that some of the men who have made headlines as sex addicts are really romance junkies,” she says. “Congressman Anthony Wiener was having fantasy flirtations with the women he sexted; he didn’t actually sleep with them. He just wanted to feel desired. Tiger Woods wasn’t seeing prostitutes or having one-night stands; he was having affairs. These men wanted to fall in love... if only for a minute."
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?ar...ID=1370695
"Ethlie Anne Vare was in love: When she was with him, her entire body was buzzing with excitement. When they parted ways, she was desolate. All of which might sound like your typical healthy, head-over-heels romance, only there was one problem: Vare says she’s been in love over a hundred times.
“I had a new ‘soul mate’ every month,” says Vare, a writer living in Los Angeles. (One time, the giddy rush inspired her to move in with a man the same day they met.) But inevitably, each relationship would fizzle out: either her boyfriend would leave her, or she’d grow bored and kick him to the curb herself. Over time, the emotional highs and lows of falling in and out of love began to drain Vare. “The pain just got too awful,” she admits. “I was suffering for three months over a relationship that lasted three weeks. I was like an alcoholic, where the hangover was worse than the drunk [feeling] was good.”
When Vare was 46, she attended a meeting run by a 12-step program for love addiction at the urging of a friend. There, “I listened to other peoples’ stories and realized, ‘Oh, this sounds like me,’” she recalls. That’s when it dawned on her that the rush she felt during the early stages of romance wasn’t love, per se, but addiction — and it’s one that many people share. “I’ve learned I’m not alone,” Vare says. “I also realized that I can’t do this anymore. If you’re 22, that’s one thing. But if you’re just doing the same thing over and over and over again, it’s time to change.”
...Love addiction has been gaining public awareness in the past few years... And while love addiction might seem like more of a female affliction to most, Vare argues that men are equally susceptible.
“I believe that some of the men who have made headlines as sex addicts are really romance junkies,” she says. “Congressman Anthony Wiener was having fantasy flirtations with the women he sexted; he didn’t actually sleep with them. He just wanted to feel desired. Tiger Woods wasn’t seeing prostitutes or having one-night stands; he was having affairs. These men wanted to fall in love... if only for a minute."
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?ar...ID=1370695
