[Nomad77]

I have been thinking about why I don't close that much and it has taken me awhile to figure it out but others may also have the same problem so I thought I would do a post of what I've come up with.

The bottom line is that to close you need the desire to do this. You have to want to really bang the girl. If you don't then you won't have the motivation to put in the required work. The lack of desire also works against you in another way. A girl can look at you and tell whether you really want her and how much. They are very intuitive about this and when they don't feel it then they know you are just looking to fuck them for some other reason and they don't like that. The reason behind the desire doesn't matter. Maybe you want a flag or maybe you just want to prove something as long as the desire is there that's what's important. The proof of this in my case: when I am sexually attracted to a girl, closing is relatively easy plus I enjoy the sex a lot more.

This goes back to my sales training. The sales manager would keep hammering into us that to close you have to really want that sale. And it's the same with closing a girl: you really have to want it. Unfortunately, most of the time I don't and that's why I and probably a lot of guys don't close that much.

[HiFlo]

(09-27-2012 11:25 AM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

I have been thinking about why I don't close that much and it has taken me awhile to figure it out but others may also have the same problem so I thought I would do a post of what I've come up with.

The bottom line is that to close you need the desire to do this. You have to want to really bang the girl. If you don't then you won't have the motivation to put in the required work. The lack of desire also works against you in another way. A girl can look at you and tell whether you really want her and how much. They are very intuitive about this and when they don't feel it then they know you are just looking to fuck them for some other reason and they don't like that. The reason behind the desire doesn't matter. Maybe you want a flag or maybe you just want to prove something as long as the desire is there that's what's important. The proof of this in my case: when I am sexually attracted to a girl, closing is relatively easy plus I enjoy the sex a lot more.

This goes back to my sales training. The sales manager would keep hammering into us that to close you have to really want that sale. And it's the same with closing a girl: you really have to want it. Unfortunately, most of the time I don't and that's why I and probably a lot of guys don't close that much.

Yeah, it's a lot about 'intent' - making your intent clear to the girl and making sure that the intent is inside yourself in the first place.

XXL had a good post on this: http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-14544.html

Personally, I've found that when I'm sober it takes A LOT to 'kickstart my heart' so to speak and actually look a girl and say to myself, "I so wanna fuck her brains out right now." For some reason a consumption of some sort of intoxicant for me really triggers this feeling and drives my intent. I wish I did not have to consume any intoxicant to feel this way though. I think this is partly because I have a lot of shit on my mind that prioritizes itself for better or for worse over pussy, but an intoxicant clears that out somewhat.

[Johnny Football]

(09-27-2012 11:25 AM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

I have been thinking about why I don't close that much and it has taken me awhile to figure it out but others may also have the same problem so I thought I would do a post of what I've come up with.

The bottom line is that to close you need the desire to do this. You have to want to really bang the girl. If you don't then you won't have the motivation to put in the required work. The lack of desire also works against you in another way. A girl can look at you and tell whether you really want her and how much. They are very intuitive about this and when they don't feel it then they know you are just looking to fuck them for some other reason and they don't like that. The reason behind the desire doesn't matter. Maybe you want a flag or maybe you just want to prove something as long as the desire is there that's what's important. The proof of this in my case: when I am sexually attracted to a girl, closing is relatively easy plus I enjoy the sex a lot more.

This goes back to my sales training. The sales manager would keep hammering into us that to close you have to really want that sale. And it's the same with closing a girl: you really have to want it. Unfortunately, most of the time I don't and that's why I and probably a lot of guys don't close that much.

This.

I think this is the exact reason why lately I haven't been closing as well, usually by the end of the night I'm lacking the drive to close on the final bang.

[Giovonny]

The most important factor in success is..... THE DESIRE to be successful.

I think you guys are just drunk and tired and want to go home and jerk off. That is easier sometimes.

[Neo]

Lifting weights.

Eating a solid diet.

ACV.

Gaming girls.

Working on goals and projects.

Improving my lifestyle.

When I'm doing all these things my desire to close goes through the roof.

[Nomad77]

Well, there are two parts to the problem. Yes, usually, after drinking, dancing, and talking to girl the whole night by the time it's 3am I am tired. The 2nd part is that I just not that attracted to her to begin.

Last night was a good example, met this girl and we are partying all the night but I was just having a good time with her, she was like a 6, a little overweight. So by the time it's like 4am I am tired and I am not that attracted to her so how can I be motivated to close? I have pushed through and closed by under similar circumstances but it's just wasn't that enjoyable and plus the bang is even more work!

[Anon-A-Moose]

I'm always afraid of getting the creepy card. And yeah, after awhile you're just burned out. When the attraction fades, the desire to close plummets. I've only ever closed maybe twice when I really wasn't into it, both times for the ego boost and to not feel like I came away empty-handed.

[Nomad77]

There is one exception to this, if I get the impression that the girl is good sexually, I can get motivated IF I am not too tired or burned out. If she doesn't have a pretty face but a decent body and is very sexual then unless I am completely burned out I will put the effort in to close.

I have a friend on the other hand that can and will bang just about anything he can get his hands on. Like I said in my first post a wide attraction range makes a big difference.

[MrXY]

OP, are you lifting weights? Getting enough sleep? Controlling your drinking?

Sounds like your sex drive might be too low, especially late at night.

When your sex drive is high, the problem takes care of itself-you will want to close

Try taking a nap for an hour or two before you go out and leave the house later- you will be fresher and feel better late at night

Consider experimenting with no fap- it has helped my sex drive and closing rate tremendously

[Nomad77]

The drinking does help, true.

I had no problems wanting to bang her friend - more sexual attraction.

Not masturbating helps, true. But I do it for stress relief and my job is pretty stressful right now. Trying to find an alternative way of dealing with the stress. Thanks

[chakri]

This sounds like a good mindset, but do you ever feel like you're falling into the oneitis/desperate trap because of it?

[OGNorCal707]

I am kind of feeling this thread, I have been kind of noticing that I have this strange issue where I don't feel that horny when I'm out at night time, but I always have a raging boner first thing in the morning and am horny through out the day, especially when I see hot women when out and about getting lunch or running errands in the afternoon.

Then when I hit the bars at night (usually only 1 or 2 times a week), I still want to get laid, but I just don't have that burning desire to bend a woman over, pull her skirt up, and tap that ass. I do get a bit of stimulation when I see a real hot chick, and last night I opened, chatted, with got a little kino, and number close from a very, very sexy 21 year old 8.5 brunette white girl, she definitely got my juices flowing so to speak.

I met the 21 year old when I was chilling out in front of the bar, but before that I was drinking at a neighboring bar, where I was talking to a 23 year old Jewish chick who sweats my nuts hard, and I'm quite sure I could smash if I just came with some decent game, isolated her from her group, and escalated. Bascially she more or less told me she thinks I'm hot and has approached me that last few times I've seen her out, so what's the problem? She's not that hot, she's a little bit chubby and could definitely lose about 10 pounds, right now she's a 6, with some weight loss she'd gain a half point for sure. I haven't felt the urge to go all out and put the moves on to take her back to my place and tap it. I'm going on about a 3 week dry spell (which isn't that long for me), but if I can't get anything popping soon, I may very well end up fucking the Jewish 6 chick just to get my rocks off.

So my personal rant aside, I relate to the OP in that recently I just haven't had the burning desire to fuck chicks who aren't top notch in looks, the hottest girls stimulate my boner, but anything under a solid 7 and I'm pretty indifferent. For me personally, it's not so much that I have a low libido, it's that my libido drops off a at night time, like I said I am a horny fuck during the day. I do lift heavy 3 times a week (squat, dead lift, bench press, barbell row, etc), eat a great high protein organic diet, practice martial arts, get plenty of sleep, so it's not like I have low testosterone or sex drive.

Probably the biggest factor is porn and masturbation, I pretty much only abstain from porn on the days I go out to the bars, sometimes for a full day before too. Other days I binge and jerk it like 4 times to some good porn. I know this isn't necessarily healthy if you want to be at full potential for macking on chicks. If you go a week without jerking off, you will horny as fuck and fuck a 6 happily with no issues or complaints.

[Nomad77]

No, I hold a fundamental belief that things can only be appreciated with contrast. If you have nothing to compare something to then it has no value. My point was to get the bang or close you have to really want either the woman or the sex. For most men, including myself, we want sex BUT with a specific type of woman in a specific type of situation. Regardless, you still have to really want it and a lot of people just don't want it enough. Same as getting rich...

Quote:

This sounds like a good mindset, but do you ever feel like you're falling into the oneitis/desperate trap because of it?

[Nomad77]

Yep, masturbating has a big impact on motivation to close. The problem with masturbation is that's just so damn convenient. If I had a girl that I could just call up and bang without having to deal with all the emotional BS then I wouldn't do it as much.

(09-30-2012 04:18 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

I am kind of feeling this thread, I have been kind of noticing that I have this strange issue where I don't feel that horny when I'm out at night time, but I always have a raging boner first thing in the morning and am horny through out the day, especially when I see hot women when out and about getting lunch or running errands in the afternoon.

Then when I hit the bars at night (usually only 1 or 2 times a week), I still want to get laid, but I just don't have that burning desire to bend a woman over, pull her skirt up, and tap that ass. I do get a bit of stimulation when I see a real hot chick, and last night I opened, chatted, with got a little kino, and number close from a very, very sexy 21 year old 8.5 brunette white girl, she definitely got my juices flowing so to speak.

I met the 21 year old when I was chilling out in front of the bar, but before that I was drinking at a neighboring bar, where I was talking to a 23 year old Jewish chick who sweats my nuts hard, and I'm quite sure I could smash if I just came with some decent game, isolated her from her group, and escalated. Bascially she more or less told me she thinks I'm hot and has approached me that last few times I've seen her out, so what's the problem? She's not that hot, she's a little bit chubby and could definitely lose about 10 pounds, right now she's a 6, with some weight loss she'd gain a half point for sure. I haven't felt the urge to go all out and put the moves on to take her back to my place and tap it. I'm going on about a 3 week dry spell (which isn't that long for me), but if I can't get anything popping soon, I may very well end up fucking the Jewish 6 chick just to get my rocks off.

So my personal rant aside, I relate to the OP in that recently I just haven't had the burning desire to fuck chicks who aren't top notch in looks, the hottest girls stimulate my boner, but anything under a solid 7 and I'm pretty indifferent. For me personally, it's not so much that I have a low libido, it's that my libido drops off a at night time, like I said I am a horny fuck during the day. I do lift heavy 3 times a week (squat, dead lift, bench press, barbell row, etc), eat a great high protein organic diet, practice martial arts, get plenty of sleep, so it's not like I have low testosterone or sex drive.

Probably the biggest factor is porn and masturbation, I pretty much only abstain from porn on the days I go out to the bars, sometimes for a full day before too. Other days I binge and jerk it like 4 times to some good porn. I know this isn't necessarily healthy if you want to be at full potential for macking on chicks. If you go a week without jerking off, you will horny as fuck and fuck a 6 happily with no issues or complaints.

[rationalize_this]

Now that the actual process from cold approaching to getting her naked is almost more rewarding for me than actually fucking her, I say my desire has gone down somewhat. Like OG says, It takes a very attractive type of girl to get my juices flowing so to speak. But for some reason, when I'm not having sex regularly, my desire actually goes down. When I'm having steady sex, my desire goes up to "upgrade" to hotter women, as I get bored of the ones in my harem. Granted I may be screening more for more attractive girls, I definitely approach them with less hesitation.

[Nomad77]

What really gets me going is when I can look at a girl and see desire in her eyes and behavior. More than anything else when I sense a girl wants me that really gets me motivated. I would rather have a 6 with desire in her eyes than a cold 9. The problem with this is that it's usually the younger girls I get this from. Rarely from women over 30. But it's not enough to have desire, because you still have logistics to deal with after. The bottom line is that in many cases the end results (the fuck) just isn't worth the work. The reality is rarely better than the fantasy.

[freshcream]

A lot of sex is making me even more horny now. I got laid at my party... around 22 pm. Then at a girls house at around 3pm.. then I went back to the club to really push for two girls that I knew were in to me... but they had left... hopefully nobody told them where I went...