[Coyote]

I am not very proficient at small talk and content free conversations. Better than I was but still learning.

Any tips regarding how to interact while saying nothing as a woman sizes you up? You know something that always gets a quick laugh or makes them smile?

[littleG]

Roosh reccomends Seinfeld, I like watching late night talk shows (Leno) and watch how they interact with the stars.

[AlbertoDelMuerto]

Howard Stern Show might be worth a shot!

[HiFlo]

when making small talk, don't overthink things. just say the most benign, bland things.

For example, small talk conversations in a nightclub: "Where else have you been tonight?"...blah blah "Cool, my friend there is now, was thinking of going later...oh i ate at restaurant XXX before, it was great, have you been there?"

Other questions: "what's good to drink at this bar? Im normally a beer guy, but..."

when making small talk at biz meetings keep it about business, family, vacations & the industry.

at the gyum...what program you're following, good exercises.

small talk is all about stupid insignificant shit. if you want to try to make it deep and/or witty you're doing it wrong.

shit to make her life is generally sexual innuendo...she's talking about how big her dinner was, ask "so are you the type who considers bigger to be better?"

[Parlay44]

Gossip. Tell funny stories about stupid shit your friends have done.

"My friend was dating this one girl and she used to ...blah blah blah"

Shit like that. Girls eat it up.

[Ramon Zarate]

Roosh goes into detail about rambling in Day Bang, and also remember that usually it's unnatural to pepper a conversation with questions - usually it's statement-statement-statement or S-S-Question.

One way to do it is to be able to identify jump off points in sentences - say you're talking about your holiday - "Last week I went to Seville and it felt so odd because there were oranges growing on the trees in the side of the street, and people will sometimes pick and eat them". We have several jump off points here - you could segue into something that happened last week that you missed, or other things about Seville, or oranges, or something to do with Spanish streets, or local customs, etc. Not the best of examples but it's basically this http://www.seductionscience.com/2012/nev...on-method/

It will get boring for both of you after a while even if you're the one leading the conversation so you may want to hold back and have a bit of silence in between, or escalate it by asking a few personal questions, then some assumptions about her etc. You don't want small talk forever though, you want to always be escalating. As Parlay also said in the later stages gossip about your friends and shit people do - it's almost universally true that girls enjoy talking about human relationships rather than about cold hard facts.

[Coyote]

Man its so basic its almost complicated (for me any ways). years ago my phsychologist told me that I needed to read the newspapers so i had something to small talk about... fuck its so boring it was almost painful then.

How do you get in the mood to do it (tolerate it???)/ I am lost hear.

I do get the examples and HiFlos are useable... the ineuendo thing seem like a sublte art that I could appreciate but I maight escalate it.

To tell you the truth I have got living and women here wired, but some of the thoings I read here intrgue me. I think I am going to see if some compliment my social style..

Like this small talk thing..

[Coyote]

Thanks Ramon that helped - I will check the link - So what do you guys think about how long to extend this small talk. Is it like a warm up period? I mean the idea is to let her read your body language right? So what then. Take off and let her observe you and later let her present some facts - to see if she is qualifying herself?

[HiFlo]

I have found that most girls haven't a fucking clue what's going in the world so reading newspapers is pointless for small talk conversations with girls because it WILL go over there heads. It's good for small talk with older people though.

In regards to asking questions versus statement-statement-exchanges, I have found that girls these days are so wired into facebook and instagram and shit that they have forgotten how to make small talk themselves, so asking questions is pretty fucking important.

For example, I'm banging this one girl right now. I was hanging out with her & her best friend of like 10 years this weekend. I asked questions about her best friend's parents and found out that her parents grew up and met in London before coming to the US. The girl I'm banging had no idea of this despite having been best friends for 10 years. So asking questions is important to leading the conversations as long as you're not just asking questions, but sharing something about yourself as well.

The fact of the matter is that conversation is more or less a lost skill among the younger generation now and asking questions is important to fucking building rapport because if you wait for them to respond to bait, it will more than likely NOT happen. LOL!

[XXL]

(09-25-2012 11:10 AM)Coyote Wrote:  

Any tips regarding how to interact while saying nothing as a woman sizes you up? You know something that always gets a quick laugh or makes them smile?

do you mean you want to talk as little as possible and make it fun or do you want to improve your small talk?

[The Fantasist]

I think the OP is looking at it too scientifically in asking what to say,how long to extend small talk etc. I'd say you're best off just to get a kick out of talking to everyone you meet. Be talking to people all the time in the day or on your way to the venue,talk to the old women on the bus ride into town,the bar staff,your friend's on the phone. Enjoy chatting shit with people. Keep it light. Then by the time you meet a certain girl either in day game or in a club/bar you're in the zone and you breeze straight into the approach and banter phase without thinking about it. It's not like you'll be thinking "right what shall I say now" you will be in the zone and it will be easy.

If you want topics to talk about,well what do you find interesting? Personally I like to keep the initial attraction phase full of comedy and cockiness. My go to line is "let's go and laugh at ugly people". And then we will walk around the venue whilst I point out people's fashion etc. I'll make fun of the girl constantly,I'll also start to ask a few more personal questions to build some rapport and show that I'm not just a clown but always followed by me making fun of her again. I'm always pushing and pulling. Then when she is comfortable with you and laughing and you know she likes you and doesn't mind you touching her in a non sexual way you can tone down the banter phase and move into more rapport like conversations. But still keeping things light,still calling her out when she says daft shit but always with a big smile on your face. Start touching her more,let your knees touch under the table etc.

I don't know,we all have our own way of doing things but the above works for me on a consistent basis in my home location.

[Parlay44]

I'm telling you ...if you want to build a little quick intimacy you gotta gossip or talk a little shit with her.

Example: You're sitting at a bar or coffee shop or boardwalk bench together. You sit there and make
some small talk about the weather or where she's from. Then you get her to do some people watching
with you. You start making fun of people together.

"Check out this guy's stupid shirt". "It was probably a gift from his grandma" or something similar.
Just get her to laugh.

When you join forces with her against someone it builds intimacy. It's lame. It's corny. It's very 2nd grade.
But it makes her more comfortable with you. Try it.

[rationalize_this]

(09-25-2012 02:42 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

I'm telling you ...if you want to build a little quick intimacy you gotta gossip or talk a little shit with her.

Example: You're sitting at a bar or coffee shop or boardwalk bench together. You sit there and make
some small talk about the weather or where she's from. Then you get her to do some people watching
with you. You start making fun of people together.

"Check out this guy's stupid shirt". "It was probably a gift from his grandma" or something similar.
Just get her to laugh.

When you join forces with her against someone it builds intimacy. It's lame. It's corny. It's very 2nd grade.
But it makes her more comfortable with you. Try it.

This is GREAT advice. Some of my best swoops have been after people watching/ gossiping with the girl. I usually pull out the story about my crazy stripper neighbor who has a pole in her apartment and keeps her blinds open so the entire other side of the building gets a free show. I tell the girl she can slip a single under her door later. Never fails to get a laugh. The story does a few things, it gets the conversation sexual pretty quickly, you get to see her value set, and you can gauge her reactions.

[Coyote]

Good stuff here - but talking is easy for me. No problem, I can cold call with the best of em. The thing is I tend to get too meaty to quick. Look at my posts! jajajajajajaaaaa....

So the stripper thing is good and the us against them angle is good

I can be borderline aggressive when I am trying to toe the assertive line so that makes me a bit intimidating - not a good thing at first...

I get a lot of things done so assertive/agressive has its place but many chicks say whoa! when I fire out of the gates... and some dig it as welll... but they are od a wilder breed...

Just trying to learn new things with all this - you know have some fun, new toy kinda shit while challenging myself with things I am not that good at. I appreciate the help and will you it.

[Coyote]

XXL - the response to your question is: Both.

I'd like to improve both....

Talking less (you know as needed but not running the show continuously ( I can do it but it gets boring) and always having fun.

The having fun thing I do some times and often really at the expense of getting numbers and pick ups... sometimes I just don't give a fuck and having fun takes quick priority...

[Thomas the Rhymer]

(09-25-2012 11:22 AM)PJ25 Wrote:  

Roosh reccomends Seinfeld, I like watching late night talk shows (Leno) and watch how they interact with the stars.

After I've finished my current book summary (I'm summarising How to Win Friends and Influence People, I'll post it in the lifestyle forum when I'm done), I'm going to write an epic post on why Seinfeld is good for your conversation skils, written from a neuroscience perspective. Basically we are subconsciously programmed to imitate what we see, and Seinfeld dialogue follows the statement-statement-question/punchline model, so by watching it we can't but help talking like that after a while...

But for now, foget the ''why'' explanation and just watch it, one episode twice a day.

[Shamrock]

Looking forward to both of those posts

[Giovonny]

The art of superficial conversation.

I like celebrity gossip. Commenting on other peoples fashion sense. Popular culture. Food.

Don't forget "chick crack" - astrology, palm reading, new agey stuff, etc.

[soup]

ha- yes, chick crack!

The big list of chick crack should include Iphones, travel, reading finger lengths etc.

Girls are so funny.

[Giovonny]

(09-26-2012 12:03 PM)soup Wrote:  

reading finger lengths

hahahaha!!

Girls will love that!

[soup]

They really are like children.

[pitt]

(09-26-2012 11:58 AM)Giovonny Wrote:  

The art of superficial conversation.

I like celebrity gossip. Commenting on other peoples fashion sense. Popular culture. Food.

Don't forget "chick crack" - astrology, palm reading, new agey stuff, etc.

How does palm reading works? Do you actually understand it or you just talk shit to them?

[pitt]

Coyote according to your posts, i think you need to do more listening, i think you already talk more than enough, listening is way more effective than talking. Do you think your listening skills are super good?

[Giovonny]

(09-26-2012 12:42 PM)pitt Wrote:  

How does palm reading works? Do you actually understand it or you just talk shit to them?

I just make it up. I say it half jokingly. I say stuff that fake psychics say like...

you will have trouble finding success in relationships

and

you have some deep childhood issues

It's mostly a joke meant to get the conversation going.

(09-26-2012 12:48 PM)pitt Wrote:  

Coyote according to your posts, i think you need to do more listening, i think you already talk more than enough, listening is way more effective than talking. Do you think your listening skills are super good?

Yes, listening is so important. You can get alot of insight into their mind if you listen well.

[speakeasy]

I'm not claiming to be some conversational expert but I think what can help is to give the other person material to work with. For example, instead of saying, "I went to the beach today," say "I went to Malibu Beach today, the weather was perfect but didn't catch any good waves."

Now you've given the other person more material to jump off from. They can then say, "oh you surf?" and it gives the conversation a chance to expand. Try to pepper as much color, humor and rich detail into your sentence as possible. This is often the only reason why one person can come across as boring while another person seems lively and exciting even though they can be stating pretty much the same thing.

Actively listen for peripheral information that the other person drops in their sentence, especially if it seems out of the blue. That's a clue to what's really on their mind and what they feel like talking about. If you say to someone at a bar, "what are you drinking?" and they say, "just water, I don't handle hangovers too well" they are inviting you to ask them about their last hangover experience. Often the peripheral information is much more subtle than that and you have to actively listen for it to keep the flow of the conversation going, as well as offer up your own material.

Then there are other things besides conversation content such as having good voice control, altering the rhythm of your words, using pregnant pauses, building anticipation. These are things that ultimately make you a good story teller.

It's all of course easier said than done and takes lots of practice.