There are a fair few friends of mine (men and women both) who identify as feminist and as such post many a link from jezebel/feministing/[insert feminist website here]. They're not bad folks, so I don't hold it against them and if nothing else the links and ensuring comment echo chambers are good for a laugh. But today someone posted this: http://unwinona.tumblr.com/post/30861660...this-story
tl;dr version: A pretty, angsty grrl gets hit on by some dudes on the metro in LA, shoots them down and gets scared when one guy flips out and yells at her (but never lays on a hand on her or makes any threatening gestures). This is not exactly a novel story, her writing skills are sub-par at best, and the whole thing is dripping with "pity me for being pretty". The interesting parts, to me, where these excerpts (emphasis mine):
"I was not on the train more than three minutes before three boys who looked eighteen sat in the row behind me and leaned over the seats into my personal space, close enough to breathe on me. The one with his arm draped over onto the back of my seat asked me—surprise— “what are you reading?” I went through my usual routine. I told them loudly and firmly that I wanted to be left alone to read my book."
"They exit the train at the next stop, and I’m relieved. The train is going out of service at the next station, so we all exit to board a new train to Los Angeles. As we board, the business man steps aside to let me go through the door first and asks me if those guys were bothering me. I say yes, that it happens all the time, and he tells he’ll beat them up for me if they come back. He is a nice person who talks to me like I’m a human being instead of a walking pair of tits, and I make a mental note: This is how a real man talks to a woman on a train."
"At this point I am three rows from the front of the car, another man was sitting near the back of the car, and the rest of the car is empty. Bicycle Man walks halfway down the row, and settles into the seat directly opposite me. Perfect, I think. Twice in one night.It’s not the first time I’ve been bothered multiple times. As such, I’m still amped from the teenagers on the first train. So when this man leans across the aisle into my personal space and asks me, yes, what are you reading"
Now, before everyone starts crying "so what" and "white knighting", let's point out a few things:
1. Out of the three conversation initiators, she shuts down the two that are beta, cliche, and overall weak. "What are you reading?" is a mediocre opener at best and from the author's pictures and description of her own demeanor, you should know better than to even try it.
2. The business man, even if he's never read a game blog in his life, used the right approach. He's already DHV by wearing a suit and maintaining his own frame relative to the girl; he doesn't chase her, only opens when she moves into his zone, and demonstrates his superiority over the other two in a joking, but tingle-evoking manner. As the author says "This is a real man". Game works, even on the most hardened of feminists.
3. I wouldn't presume in this case to say the girl invited being harassed or that she was wrong to feel scared of the guy who lost his shit. However, her choice of actions once this guy flipped out just seems like wanting to be victimized. I've been on the LA metro; almost every train has an emergency button or line you can pull to get a conductor or security officer to your car in a hurry. She could've dialed 911. She could've changed cars. She could have done anything besides remain in an (ostensibly) dangerous situation just so she could have a nice, juicy tumblr post to put up later.
While I do find it hilarious that a girl so determined to be anti-social, rude, and cold to men got inadvertently gamed, it's still a reminder that to some women, anyone with a penis is always going to be public enemy #1. She could've easily gotten the guy who flipped his shit thrown in jail, ruined his reputation, or gotten some bystander at the next terminal to wreck his shit. I've seen women in tears wreak worse on men for less. If you need any further motivation to learn or tighten up your game, there it is right there on the page. Everyone loves to put a feminist in their place, but the head-on approach only goes so far. If you've been reading your Sun Tzu or your Machiavelli, you know the best way to beat an enemy is to subvert them and to turn their strengths around on themselves. Or as Abraham Lincoln said, "I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends."
tl;dr version: A pretty, angsty grrl gets hit on by some dudes on the metro in LA, shoots them down and gets scared when one guy flips out and yells at her (but never lays on a hand on her or makes any threatening gestures). This is not exactly a novel story, her writing skills are sub-par at best, and the whole thing is dripping with "pity me for being pretty". The interesting parts, to me, where these excerpts (emphasis mine):
"I was not on the train more than three minutes before three boys who looked eighteen sat in the row behind me and leaned over the seats into my personal space, close enough to breathe on me. The one with his arm draped over onto the back of my seat asked me—surprise— “what are you reading?” I went through my usual routine. I told them loudly and firmly that I wanted to be left alone to read my book."
"They exit the train at the next stop, and I’m relieved. The train is going out of service at the next station, so we all exit to board a new train to Los Angeles. As we board, the business man steps aside to let me go through the door first and asks me if those guys were bothering me. I say yes, that it happens all the time, and he tells he’ll beat them up for me if they come back. He is a nice person who talks to me like I’m a human being instead of a walking pair of tits, and I make a mental note: This is how a real man talks to a woman on a train."
"At this point I am three rows from the front of the car, another man was sitting near the back of the car, and the rest of the car is empty. Bicycle Man walks halfway down the row, and settles into the seat directly opposite me. Perfect, I think. Twice in one night.It’s not the first time I’ve been bothered multiple times. As such, I’m still amped from the teenagers on the first train. So when this man leans across the aisle into my personal space and asks me, yes, what are you reading"
Now, before everyone starts crying "so what" and "white knighting", let's point out a few things:
1. Out of the three conversation initiators, she shuts down the two that are beta, cliche, and overall weak. "What are you reading?" is a mediocre opener at best and from the author's pictures and description of her own demeanor, you should know better than to even try it.
2. The business man, even if he's never read a game blog in his life, used the right approach. He's already DHV by wearing a suit and maintaining his own frame relative to the girl; he doesn't chase her, only opens when she moves into his zone, and demonstrates his superiority over the other two in a joking, but tingle-evoking manner. As the author says "This is a real man". Game works, even on the most hardened of feminists.
3. I wouldn't presume in this case to say the girl invited being harassed or that she was wrong to feel scared of the guy who lost his shit. However, her choice of actions once this guy flipped out just seems like wanting to be victimized. I've been on the LA metro; almost every train has an emergency button or line you can pull to get a conductor or security officer to your car in a hurry. She could've dialed 911. She could've changed cars. She could have done anything besides remain in an (ostensibly) dangerous situation just so she could have a nice, juicy tumblr post to put up later.
While I do find it hilarious that a girl so determined to be anti-social, rude, and cold to men got inadvertently gamed, it's still a reminder that to some women, anyone with a penis is always going to be public enemy #1. She could've easily gotten the guy who flipped his shit thrown in jail, ruined his reputation, or gotten some bystander at the next terminal to wreck his shit. I've seen women in tears wreak worse on men for less. If you need any further motivation to learn or tighten up your game, there it is right there on the page. Everyone loves to put a feminist in their place, but the head-on approach only goes so far. If you've been reading your Sun Tzu or your Machiavelli, you know the best way to beat an enemy is to subvert them and to turn their strengths around on themselves. Or as Abraham Lincoln said, "I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends."
