Correct me if I'm wrong, but one of the main concepts of game is that girls prefer assholes. Nice guys don't get pussy. You have to be aloof, distant, and pretend they mean nothing to you or you won't get anywhere with them. They always want the one they can't have, so if you make yourself too accessible, you will bore them and they will look for the nearest asshole.
So I've been trying this out and I don't think I'm doing it right. Latest example: There's a bartender working at this bar. I walked in with some people, she came over to get our orders and I was cocky and funny with her. That seemed to go well, I actually had her laughing even though she had been all serious when she came over. Then later I went to the bar and was talking with her when she wasn't busy.
I go back a few nights later and she's not busy again. I start talking her up, and things are going well in my opinion. She is actually asking me questions about myself, which is a good sign. Once in a while she leaves to go do something, but comes back. Even when other people are around, she's talking to me. She seems like a serious, educated artsy girl, not a ditz or a club girl. Soon we're sitting at a table. Some paper and a pen appears and I cleverly use it to get her to teach me some of the local language. Her attention is fully on me and the language lesson. She's really into it. She even forgets to accept money for a drink I ordered off her.
My drink is finished so it's time for another one, but I have to go to the other room to get a beer because I feel like a beer and there's no beer at her bar. So I get up, say something like "I'll be back" and go to the other room. I did intend to come back right away but there was a delay getting a beer in the other room. Minutes pass... I start thinking about game and how I can improve my chances with this bartender. Into my head comes the 'asshole' concept. So I decide to turn this delay into an opportunity, and take my time going back to her. I start talking to some people; finally I get my drink, but by now I'm sitting in a group of people talking to this woman. That goes on for about half an hour. Then I tell the woman to come with me to the other room for a drink. The point is to make the bartender - not jealous per se, but to demonstrate that I don't need her, I can meet other women. We go. By now the bartender in the other room has put away the pen and paper and is back to work. I get drinks with the other woman. Then we go to the main room.
The next day I thought I had done things correctly. I planned to go back to the bar that night and pick up where I had left off. So that night that's what I did. Just as I'm arriving, I see the bartender leaving with 2 other girls. She doesn't see me. So I follow them, get ahead of them about half a block and then walk back casually, so it looks like I just bumped into her. When she sees me I say "Hi" and ask her if she's working tonight. But she barely acknowledges me, and keeps walking without answering or stopping. I totally had not expected that reaction.
So what did I do wrong? Did I do anything wrong? Or am I overanalyzing this.
I'm just doing what I've read about in this forum and in other places. I would prefer not to act like an asshole, I would have preferred to sit with the bartender all night and be nice to her, because that feels more natural to me; but not only does game tell you that's the wrong way to do it, I have also noticed from experience that this tends to end in failure.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what, if anything, I should do next. It's a good lounge, and I want to go back there - what should I say to this bartender next time I see her? Anything? Should I turn my back and pretend she doesn't exist? But being on bad terms with the staff is going to ruin your night and cripple you when you try to meet other girls.
Did I fuck up, and if so, at which point? Was it at the beginning - by imagining the bartender was being any more than polite to me? They don't really work for tips here, so it's not like in North America where they're extra friendly so you'll pay them. But perhaps she was just being polite anyway. Or did I fuck up the next night, by not fighting her resistance as she walked past me - was that a shit test, or was she really offended by my presence? It's kind of rude what she did. But it was kind of rude what I did the previous night, taking off while she was in the middle of giving me a language lesson. But I was only being rude because I thought that's what women want. Or did I fuck up somewhere in between.
Being an asshole is confusing....
So I've been trying this out and I don't think I'm doing it right. Latest example: There's a bartender working at this bar. I walked in with some people, she came over to get our orders and I was cocky and funny with her. That seemed to go well, I actually had her laughing even though she had been all serious when she came over. Then later I went to the bar and was talking with her when she wasn't busy.
I go back a few nights later and she's not busy again. I start talking her up, and things are going well in my opinion. She is actually asking me questions about myself, which is a good sign. Once in a while she leaves to go do something, but comes back. Even when other people are around, she's talking to me. She seems like a serious, educated artsy girl, not a ditz or a club girl. Soon we're sitting at a table. Some paper and a pen appears and I cleverly use it to get her to teach me some of the local language. Her attention is fully on me and the language lesson. She's really into it. She even forgets to accept money for a drink I ordered off her.
My drink is finished so it's time for another one, but I have to go to the other room to get a beer because I feel like a beer and there's no beer at her bar. So I get up, say something like "I'll be back" and go to the other room. I did intend to come back right away but there was a delay getting a beer in the other room. Minutes pass... I start thinking about game and how I can improve my chances with this bartender. Into my head comes the 'asshole' concept. So I decide to turn this delay into an opportunity, and take my time going back to her. I start talking to some people; finally I get my drink, but by now I'm sitting in a group of people talking to this woman. That goes on for about half an hour. Then I tell the woman to come with me to the other room for a drink. The point is to make the bartender - not jealous per se, but to demonstrate that I don't need her, I can meet other women. We go. By now the bartender in the other room has put away the pen and paper and is back to work. I get drinks with the other woman. Then we go to the main room.
The next day I thought I had done things correctly. I planned to go back to the bar that night and pick up where I had left off. So that night that's what I did. Just as I'm arriving, I see the bartender leaving with 2 other girls. She doesn't see me. So I follow them, get ahead of them about half a block and then walk back casually, so it looks like I just bumped into her. When she sees me I say "Hi" and ask her if she's working tonight. But she barely acknowledges me, and keeps walking without answering or stopping. I totally had not expected that reaction.
So what did I do wrong? Did I do anything wrong? Or am I overanalyzing this.
I'm just doing what I've read about in this forum and in other places. I would prefer not to act like an asshole, I would have preferred to sit with the bartender all night and be nice to her, because that feels more natural to me; but not only does game tell you that's the wrong way to do it, I have also noticed from experience that this tends to end in failure.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what, if anything, I should do next. It's a good lounge, and I want to go back there - what should I say to this bartender next time I see her? Anything? Should I turn my back and pretend she doesn't exist? But being on bad terms with the staff is going to ruin your night and cripple you when you try to meet other girls.
Did I fuck up, and if so, at which point? Was it at the beginning - by imagining the bartender was being any more than polite to me? They don't really work for tips here, so it's not like in North America where they're extra friendly so you'll pay them. But perhaps she was just being polite anyway. Or did I fuck up the next night, by not fighting her resistance as she walked past me - was that a shit test, or was she really offended by my presence? It's kind of rude what she did. But it was kind of rude what I did the previous night, taking off while she was in the middle of giving me a language lesson. But I was only being rude because I thought that's what women want. Or did I fuck up somewhere in between.
Being an asshole is confusing....
