Anytime I approach an 8 or higher, I instantly sense her assessing my sexual market value (SMV). I feel my attractiveness meter plummeting in her eyes. As I start speaking and she looks up, I hear her eyes saying “OMG, why are you talking? You’re not fuck worthy.” It’d be easy to say I’m just being hard on myself, but I actually think their opinions are justified. I usually am objectively below their SMV. This depresses me often, knowing that I’ll never be the kind of guy women dream about. I’ll never be a hard bodied 6’3 240 lbs sex machine. Even when I experience success with women, the joy is short lived b/c I know it’s only a matter of time before she sees a more desirable specimen. I fear this will weigh heavy on me forever. Anybody had success dealing with this?
SMV Anxiety
First of all, women don't think in terms of SMV apart from other factors.
Second, don't give a fuck.
Third, make her self-conscious about HER SMV. "Sweetheart, looks like you have a hair on your cheek." You touch her even so gently. "Oh, no, that's a shadow you might have missed with your foundation."
Second, don't give a fuck.
Third, make her self-conscious about HER SMV. "Sweetheart, looks like you have a hair on your cheek." You touch her even so gently. "Oh, no, that's a shadow you might have missed with your foundation."
Quote: (08-26-2012 07:28 PM)Craig Wrote:
Anytime I approach an 8 or higher, I instantly sense her assessing my sexual market value (SMV). I feel my attractiveness meter plummeting in her eyes. As I start speaking and she looks up, I hear her eyes saying “OMG, why are you talking? You’re not fuck worthy.” It’d be easy to say I’m just being hard on myself, but I actually think their opinions are justified. I usually am objectively below their SMV. This depresses me often, knowing that I’ll never be the kind of guy women dream about. I’ll never be a hard bodied 6’3 240 lbs sex machine. Even when I experience success with women, the joy is short lived b/c I know it’s only a matter of time before she sees a more desirable specimen. I fear this will weigh heavy on me forever. Anybody had success dealing with this?
Two choices in my opinion.
1. Up your SMV.
2. Deal with it.
From my experience, upping your SMV is a much better option. The gain you get from hitting the gym 3-5x per week, and getting that hard body, is worth more than you can think. When you go to the gym, watch a short buff guy working out and watch his dedication to his craft.
I'm not a tall guy (lol to say the least), but I have gotten hot chicks thanks to being in rock hard shape, dressing well, and being a bit of a jerk/hard head.
My number one recommendation for guys who don't feel good about themselves is to hit the gym and touch the weights. Only then can you know where you stand against other guys/girls.
edit: just for effect. You yourself acknowledge your own weaknesses (being in shape), so instead of just giving up on it, why not commit to it and enjoy the rest of your life. Because if you think you're going to just mentally block it out, I guarantee you'll be here one year from now having gone nowhere.
Quote: (08-26-2012 08:13 PM)SnakeEyes Wrote:
Quote: (08-26-2012 07:28 PM)Craig Wrote:
Anytime I approach an 8 or higher, I instantly sense her assessing my sexual market value (SMV). I feel my attractiveness meter plummeting in her eyes. As I start speaking and she looks up, I hear her eyes saying “OMG, why are you talking? You’re not fuck worthy.” It’d be easy to say I’m just being hard on myself, but I actually think their opinions are justified. I usually am objectively below their SMV. This depresses me often, knowing that I’ll never be the kind of guy women dream about. I’ll never be a hard bodied 6’3 240 lbs sex machine. Even when I experience success with women, the joy is short lived b/c I know it’s only a matter of time before she sees a more desirable specimen. I fear this will weigh heavy on me forever. Anybody had success dealing with this?
Two choices in my opinion.
1. Up your SMV.
2. Deal with it.
From my experience, upping your SMV is a much better option. The gain you get from hitting the gym 3-5x per week, and getting that hard body, is worth more than you can think. When you go to the gym, watch a short buff guy working out and watch his dedication to his craft.
I'm not a tall guy (lol to say the least), but I have gotten hot chicks thanks to being in rock hard shape, dressing well, and being a bit of a jerk/hard head.
My number one recommendation for guys who don't feel good about themselves is to hit the gym and touch the weights. Only then can you know where you stand against other guys/girls.
edit: just for effect. You yourself acknowledge your own weaknesses (being in shape), so instead of just giving up on it, why not commit to it and enjoy the rest of your life. Because if you think you're going to just mentally block it out, I guarantee you'll be here one year from now having gone nowhere.
Actually I'm in pretty good shape. I do Crossfit 4 times a week and also have a history in boxing and jiu-jitsu. In terms of physique, the main SMV destroying stat is my height. I'm 5'7 145lbs, No matter how much I workout, I'll always be short. The ideal man is tall, dark, and handsome. I'll never embody that ideal. There are girls out there that can embody my ideal, but I'll never be able to return the favor. I just can't get myself to accept this as my lot in life. The instant SMV Assessment upon approach reminds me of what I'll never be.
i'm 5'4 135lbs. Though I can deadlift 300lbs and do 12 pullups with 45lbs on me.
Try upping your style more. I've posted about getting a lot more attention in my suit. Look wealthier and your weaknesses become less apparent.
What are you wearing when you go out?
Try upping your style more. I've posted about getting a lot more attention in my suit. Look wealthier and your weaknesses become less apparent.
What are you wearing when you go out?
Quote: (08-26-2012 08:40 PM)Craig Wrote:
Quote: (08-26-2012 08:13 PM)SnakeEyes Wrote:
Quote: (08-26-2012 07:28 PM)Craig Wrote:
Anytime I approach an 8 or higher, I instantly sense her assessing my sexual market value (SMV). I feel my attractiveness meter plummeting in her eyes. As I start speaking and she looks up, I hear her eyes saying “OMG, why are you talking? You’re not fuck worthy.” It’d be easy to say I’m just being hard on myself, but I actually think their opinions are justified. I usually am objectively below their SMV. This depresses me often, knowing that I’ll never be the kind of guy women dream about. I’ll never be a hard bodied 6’3 240 lbs sex machine. Even when I experience success with women, the joy is short lived b/c I know it’s only a matter of time before she sees a more desirable specimen. I fear this will weigh heavy on me forever. Anybody had success dealing with this?
Two choices in my opinion.
1. Up your SMV.
2. Deal with it.
From my experience, upping your SMV is a much better option. The gain you get from hitting the gym 3-5x per week, and getting that hard body, is worth more than you can think. When you go to the gym, watch a short buff guy working out and watch his dedication to his craft.
I'm not a tall guy (lol to say the least), but I have gotten hot chicks thanks to being in rock hard shape, dressing well, and being a bit of a jerk/hard head.
My number one recommendation for guys who don't feel good about themselves is to hit the gym and touch the weights. Only then can you know where you stand against other guys/girls.
edit: just for effect. You yourself acknowledge your own weaknesses (being in shape), so instead of just giving up on it, why not commit to it and enjoy the rest of your life. Because if you think you're going to just mentally block it out, I guarantee you'll be here one year from now having gone nowhere.
Actually I'm in pretty good shape. I do Crossfit 4 times a week and also have a history in boxing and jiu-jitsu. In terms of physique, the main SMV destroying stat is my height. I'm 5'7 145lbs, No matter how much I workout, I'll always be short. The ideal man is tall, dark, and handsome. I'll never embody that ideal. There are girls out there that can embody my ideal, but I'll never be able to return the favor. I just can't get myself to accept this as my lot in life. The instant SMV Assessment upon approach reminds me of what I'll never be.
1. This goes in the newbie forum.
2. 5'7"? Are you fucking kidding me?
My good friend is 5'3" and he approaches hard as fuck every time he goes out. And he bangs some pretty good looking girls.
If you are missing both arms or have a huge tumor coming out of your face, then you can start worrying about "SMV." C'mon now.
Fix what you can control, ignore what you can't.
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