I went on a 2nd date with a girl last night. brought her back to my place, kissing, groping, things are going well. I went to unbutton her shirt and she says "clothes don't come off - it's only the 2nd date". eventually she unbuttoned her own shirt and let me suck on her breasts. in time I was able to get a hand down her pants, and then remove her pants. after I took off her pants she became visibly nervous. I slipped away for a minute to "get some water" and also grab some condoms from the other room. came back, made out some more, I went to slide off my pants and she says "no, that's not happening". I slow down again figuring I will change her mind.
then she says this: "I should probably tell you something. I only have sex when I'm in a committed relationship".
up to this point I felt comfortable, but now I had no idea what to do. I sat back as the mood had evaporated, and I had a vicious case of blue balls. some brief talking ensued. she backpedaled from "committed relationship" to just "dating", with her primary point being "this is our 2nd date, I don't even know you". she derived that she had "led me on" (her words, not mine). she said "I feel really bad" a bunch of times and then she got dressed and left.
I'm looking for general guidance as to how I could have turned the situation around after she dropped the "committed" bomb, or preferably how to have avoided her from saying it in the first place. at that point I lost control of the situation, as things started to get logical and generally not conducive to sex.
here are a few of my thoughts:
* I should have had the condoms way before that point, it was too risky to leave her alone to think after I had just removed her pants
* after I removed her pants, I should have slowed down for awhile in order to get her more aroused
* I should have guided her hand towards my crotch as that usually pushes them closer to the edge
note that, this aside, I like this girl's company better than most girls that I have dated recently, so I am considering seeing her again, but it may be challenging because she left with the assumption that I won't be calling her again.
then she says this: "I should probably tell you something. I only have sex when I'm in a committed relationship".
up to this point I felt comfortable, but now I had no idea what to do. I sat back as the mood had evaporated, and I had a vicious case of blue balls. some brief talking ensued. she backpedaled from "committed relationship" to just "dating", with her primary point being "this is our 2nd date, I don't even know you". she derived that she had "led me on" (her words, not mine). she said "I feel really bad" a bunch of times and then she got dressed and left.
I'm looking for general guidance as to how I could have turned the situation around after she dropped the "committed" bomb, or preferably how to have avoided her from saying it in the first place. at that point I lost control of the situation, as things started to get logical and generally not conducive to sex.
here are a few of my thoughts:
* I should have had the condoms way before that point, it was too risky to leave her alone to think after I had just removed her pants
* after I removed her pants, I should have slowed down for awhile in order to get her more aroused
* I should have guided her hand towards my crotch as that usually pushes them closer to the edge
note that, this aside, I like this girl's company better than most girls that I have dated recently, so I am considering seeing her again, but it may be challenging because she left with the assumption that I won't be calling her again.