The RVF/Bang Testimonial Thread - From Beta to Alpha
05-17-2012, 08:23 PM
I always had confidence and self-esteem issues growing up. Despite being a good-looking, funny, and reasonably athletic kid, I never thought I was good enough. From the first day I started being interested in girls, I never believed I deserved what I truly wanted. “Popular girls in my class only hold hands, kiss, and ‘go out’ with the cool boys.” That became “the hot cheerleaders in my highschool only blow the quarterback and scumbag community college students.” That became “hot sorority girls at my college only have shame-inducing Girls Gone Wild threesomes with athletes and those fucking piece of shit fratboys.” And so on.
My first girlfriend in 7th grade was the star center on the girls basketball team and had the complexion of a hardcore meth addict on her last leg. She liked me, and I agreed to “date” her because I was scared she would beat me up. My highschool girlfriend was a great catch by my standards, but she was a real cunt. She lied, probably cheated, and would only let me dry hump the zipper of her fucking jeans, which I happily did, many times until my penis bled. We dated for about three years. After she dumped me, she lost her virginity within a month to some senior dude.
I couldn’t wait until college. Being that I was reasonably good-looking and not completely awkward, I got lucky here and there with a couple cuties. I stress “couple.” Any consistent sex came from chicks I wouldn’t introduce to my dog, let alone my friends or family. Since I was a pussy and couldn’t pull anything outside of my social circle, I was labeled as the guy in my group who liked to black out and hook up with the first fat chick that fell into my lap. Joking was constant, the shame level was high, but at least I was getting laid.
I went home for the summer after freshman year and partied it up with my crappy little high school social circle. I met my ex-GF's college roommate one night partying on the beach. She was a little thick, but tolerable. Cute. A solid 5, maybe a 6. I got black out drunk and spent the night cuddling and telling her she was beautiful. And eating her out.
I woke up with the familiar shame. I took her phone number out of pity and to relieve some of the awkwardness. Several nights later, I was bored and horny. Should I give her a call? Why not? We went out on a cute little date and kissed under the moonlight.
Maybe this isn’t so bad...
You know, she’s actually sort of cute...
I think I like her...
We are meant for each other....
“I know it’s only been three weeks, but I am in love with you. I’m going back to DC next week for school, but I think we should try the long distance thing.”
“OMG I LOVE YOU TOO! OF COURSE!!!”
Fast forward to four years later. At this point, I am still in DC. She is still in not in DC. We are still a couple.
If a month went by where I had sex two weekends out of the month, I was stoked. I was supplementing my mediocre job with an extra $4.50/month in micro-stakes internet poker winnings, which mostly went towards feeding my girlfriend’s increasingly fat ass when she came to visit. Then, she’s taking me out of her Facebook profile picture. She refuses sex when she is coming to visit. She gets on me constantly about my drinking, gambling, lack of style, my stupid friends, blah blah blah. Fuck, I’m losing her. How can I keep her happy?
-Not one, but two trips within a year to Disney World.
-I agreed to get on stage with her and act in a children’s musical, since she loves theater. (Was this beta?)
-Broadway musicals, fancy dinners with YUMMY fattening desserts on me, countless weekends wasted hanging out with her terrible hipster friends
The summer of 2011 (two years post grad) was coming along and she was nagging me that we never go on vacation. I protested, but finally agreed to take whatever pathetic amount of money and vacation time I had saved up to get a beachside motel at a nearby resort. It was small and pretty nasty. She nagged and complained, said she wouldn’t even fuck me on that bed and that she deserves better. A huge fight ensued, and she dumped me on the spot. I drove the two of us home in tears while periodically begging for forgiveness and a second chance. It wasn’t coming.
I was upset to say the least, but at least I knew what was wrong: I was a pussy of epic proportions. I needed to change that, immediately. I bought tons of confidence building books and audio series. I didn’t think I’d ever get laid again, so I also invested in some pickup material. I worked around the clock to improve my confidence and game. I fucked a couple fat chicks and some other broads from my highschool and college social circles. I made a couple random approaches at the bar and on the metro. Baby steps.
My confidence was increasing, and then began surpassing nearly all of my friends. I was pleased with my success and was getting some swag about myself. I started going out by myself if I didn’t have my crew of dudes. I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but at first I just got wasted and bought girls drinks to cope with the awkwardness of approaching by myself on a Sunday Funday. But I was approaching, and starting to act like my regular funny, asshole self while doing it. The “You look like you’re having a good time” line was run into the ground (of course, I still use that often, but not every time).
The first random I fucked was pretty gross. Then I fucked a social circle hottie at a work happy hour. Then I fucked a complete random hottie at a work happy hour that I approached on my own. At night, I began going out alone more and more, while simultaneously getting more positive responses, numbers, make outs, dates, and bangs. Now, like lots of dudes on RVF, I prefer going out alone.
I literally work on my game around the clock, and my success has caused me to be more driven, passionate, and confident about other things, too. Work, finances, exercise, even my pickup basketball “game” has shown obvious improvement since I grew my damn testicles back. 11 months after my LTR and 7 months after discovering RVF, I now have a couple girls in my rotation and a constant supply of new prospects. My girls all look better than my ex, treat me with respect, and do their best to make ME happy. My main chick right now is one of those girls I always fantasized about in high school and college, maybe better. Definitely one that I used to say I didn’t deserve. And I’m so hungry for success right now, I don’t give two shits if she’s gone tomorrow. I know I’m far from a master; hell, I’m still in my first year in the game. But I know that the most important transformation is complete. Thanks everyone.
3 biggest tips for complete newbs:
1. Approach, approach, approach. Those awkward ones from Simple Pickup may look impossible, but you will be acting like yourself in front of HOT girls if you suck it up and put in the work.
2. Don’t let your friends or family hold you back. If they don’t want to roll with you, ignore them. You don’t have to cut them off, but be an independent. This will happen naturally once your confidence is up.
3. Don’t fucking drink so much. It’s poison for your body and your game. Get loose if you need to, but don’t use it as an excuse to fuck uglies or be a pussy. Been there, done that.
