[Winterstein]

I am new to pick up, and I am dealing with approach anxiety. I have improved a little. However one problem I have is that girls think I am creepy, or I give off a bad vibe.

I remember the first time that a girl called me creepy. I answered the door, and there were two girls. They were there to visit my roommate. I ttold them where his room was. That was it, end of the interaction. My room mate told me that the girls thought I was creepy. They didn't know why, just that I had a creepy vibe.

I know a lot of this is in my head. I am worried about giving off a creepy vibe, and therefore I do. Or I think that I creeped out a girl, but may not have.

I have approach anxiety, and am nervous approaching women. It is not very natural for me. I know that this will improve with time.

However, does anyone have any tips or comments on how I could be less creepy, or how to get over it. Maybe what I might be doing wrong.

[Kickb]

I'm sure you were just surprised when the two girls showed up at your door. You got nervous and maybe looked at them funny. Just because two girls think you are creepy doesn't mean you are weird. Just try to stay relaxed.

[Screwston]

You probably have a mad dog face. That's how mine is sometimes and girls have asked why I'm pissed, but I'm actually deep in thought or something like that. I would try to crack a few smiles to make the girls more comfortable.

[tapanar]

A friend of mine has been called creepy. In Toronto. English is his second language though, and I think it has to do with it because he often gets tense, etc.

My suggestion: travel outside of Canada.

[Walnuts]

Stop giving a fuck.

Develop your self-confidence.

[Raving]

I think it was because you were too brash and fast in your interaction, I'm also quite brash with people when I'm in a bad mood, I might not dwell much on it at that time but the effect it has on other people is significant. I think you might want to observe your body language and movement too, that also contributes to the vibe..

When I want to loosen up I generally turn to my old friend Johnny Walker.. Hope this helps and don't take it personally, on to the next approach..

[Veloce]

This is normal if you're just starting out. I've heard it a few times.

I think it stems from reaching too far outside your comfort zone, which is not a bad thing, it's just going to be more obvious at first. When I first started breaking out of my shell years ago, I went from being a shut-in introvert to forcing myself to say hi to girls. My voice was weak, it would crack (even in my early 20s), my pitch would rise, and I was just a nervous wreck. To outsiders, this comes off as pretty fuckin weird.

In your mind, get out of these extremes. You're not a shut in, and you're not a creep. You're just a well-adjusted guy who happens to be friendly with everyone. I know it might come off as some Tony Robbins self-help affirmation shit, but just think in you're head, "I'm friendly." Eventually, it will be a little more natural, girls will jive with you more, and it'll set in motion a positive upward spiral in your female interactions.

[lurker123123]

nervous body language? do you work out? read roosh's latest blog post

[theoogabear]

(05-09-2012 04:09 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

This is normal if you're just starting out. I've heard it a few times.

I think it stems from reaching too far outside your comfort zone, which is not a bad thing, it's just going to be more obvious at first. When I first started breaking out of my shell years ago, I went from being a shut-in introvert to forcing myself to say hi to girls. My voice was weak, it would crack (even in my early 20s), my pitch would rise, and I was just a nervous wreck. To outsiders, this comes off as pretty fuckin weird.

In your mind, get out of these extremes. You're not a shut in, and you're not a creep. You're just a well-adjusted guy who happens to be friendly with everyone. I know it might come off as some Tony Robbins self-help affirmation shit, but just think in you're head, "I'm friendly." Eventually, it will be a little more natural, girls will jive with you more, and it'll set in motion a positive upward spiral in your female interactions.

to add to this: you are what you think and feel.

[Roosh]

Youtube yourself reading something and post it here.

[kinjutsu]

@Houston I get that alot. From when i was a kid till now (23) i just figured out that i needed to smile more.

[Klasmatic]

make eye contact and smile. dont slouch either. speak with enthusiasm. This will get rid of your creepy vibe but if you overdo these things, you will seem like a major beta male. gotta mix in some cockiness but focus on one hurdle at a time. being welcoming and friendly is pretty simple.

[at350zguyy]

(05-09-2012 05:50 AM)Winterstein Wrote:  

I am new to pick up, and I am dealing with approach anxiety. I have improved a little. However one problem I have is that girls think I am creepy, or I give off a bad vibe.

I remember the first time that a girl called me creepy. I answered the door, and there were two girls. They were there to visit my roommate. I ttold them where his room was. That was it, end of the interaction. My room mate told me that the girls thought I was creepy. They didn't know why, just that I had a creepy vibe.

I know a lot of this is in my head. I am worried about giving off a creepy vibe, and therefore I do. Or I think that I creeped out a girl, but may not have.

I have approach anxiety, and am nervous approaching women. It is not very natural for me. I know that this will improve with time.

However, does anyone have any tips or comments on how I could be less creepy, or how to get over it. Maybe what I might be doing wrong.

hah...this reminds me of the time my dad cockblocked me in college. i was moving into my dorm room and we had coed floors. the girls who lived across the hallway knocked to introduce themselves and my dad flipped out on them asking who they were looking for and what they wanted and all sorts of other hostile things. one of the most hilarious things i have ever seen to this day.

[dk902]

If your interaction was as simple as telling the girls where your roommate's room was then it would definitely be your body language and demeanour.

Have you asked others how your body language comes accross? Do you seem withdrawn or tense, ask others of their honest opinion of how you are perceived (it may be a bitter pill to swallow).

Study videos of body language to help with some clues. Ultimately how you piece it together will come from other people's observations. While we generally don't care what other people think of us. In this case it is important to understand how you are perceived.

How were you dressed? - This may also provide some clues.

Identify some successful guys who typify the type of person you would like to be and emulate their style until you pick up and develop your own as you become more of a confident person.

[Perseus]

(05-09-2012 05:50 AM)Winterstein Wrote:  

I ttold them where his room was. That was it, end of the interaction.

Have you considered the fact that maybe you've answered the door ALREADY in a cool relaxed, not giving a fuck who it is even when it was two attractive/somewhat attractive women?

Based on my experience with Toronto women, they don't get dressed up, with ton of make up for no reason other than seeking attention, and you were completely indifferent towards them.

So how do they compensate for that? they would tell your roommate that you're creepy.

Also maybe they thought you were more attractive than your roommate, maybe taller, more muscular, etc, and you didn't give a fuck that two girls were at your dorm room door, unlike your roommate who might've went beta and drooled all over them.

There's no such thing as "creepy" vibe IMO, and the only way you can be creepy is through doing something creepy such as literally moving your head up and down checking both of them out from head to toe.