[future]

I am fairly new to game (3 months into it). I am in a weird situation here and need advice. Below I have written down a detailed field report. It might be too long for most of you, so I have provided a tl;dr version too. Please let me know what you think in terms of 1) what I should do now to save the set and 2) where exactly did I screw it up?

tl;dr I met a girl at a house party and we connected very well. I added her on FB, then got her number through FB, exchanged some texts, then called up to set up a date. She readily agreed and sounded enthusiastic. The date was for dinner+drinks (I know, I shouldn't have said dinner, but I didn't know it back then) on Wednesday last week. On the day of the date, I texted her at noon to confirm. She immediately replied saying "Sure!" 2 hours later, she texts me asking if we can cancel the dinner and do only drinks. Then 2 hours before the date, she texts asking if we can do it some other time since her essay is taking longer than expected. I reply with, "Alright. Good luck." I don't get a reply or a call for the next 5 days. Next week, Monday, I reinitiate a conversation with her. She flakes.


Longer version:

Party was on Friday two weeks ago. I think I did really well there. Somehow everyone there was more beta than me, so I got to be the AMOG. May be I screwed up once or twice, but that's it. Some IOI's I got:

1. About 70% of the party was essentially a conversation between me and her.
2. She asked me lots of questions.
3. She asked me at one point if I was single.

One place where I might have screwed up:

In the end, since she had a car and I did not, and since my place was not that far from hers, she dropped me. We were having a good conversation in the car, in fact, that's where she asked me if I was single. But right before getting out of the car, I said, "So what do we do here? Handshake? Hug? What's your type?" When I mentioned "hug," she said "sure!" and gave me one.


Anyway,

On Saturday I sent her a FB msg (that was suggested by Crowskee on a separate thread) saying the following:

"Hey, last night was fun. We should get together some time and do something awesome such as <a seed that I had planted during the party>. My number is: <number>. Send me your number on FB or just text/call me some time.

PS: Milk and alcohol is an interesting combo. I felt drunk in my dreams y'day."

The PS part was regarding something that happened during the party.

Anyway,

Saturday evening I got a text from her, "Hey this is <name>. How is it going? lol"

I was getting ready to go out sarging, so didn't reply immediately. In 10 mins, I get another text: "Hey I just saw your msg on FB eh. How's your weekend?"

I replied after 20 mins or so, "On my way to another party. Seems like the weekend is not over yet. "

Sunday evening, we had some banter over text. Ended with me saying, "Alright, I am off to bed. Good night. Have wonderfully wild and sexual dreams."

At 2 in the night, I get three texts from her. Apparently there was a lag and she had sent me 3 texts more than what I had sent her.

Anyway,

Monday evening, I start texting again...

Me: I got three texts from you at 2 last night. That was some lag! Your phone is weird.
Her: lol... sorry?
Me: Heh... BTW, I have a quick question. I'm gonna call you in 2 mins.
Her: Quick question... hmm... intriguing.

After 5 mins, I call her. While I am dialing, I receive another text from her. I don't read it.

She answers, "Hello?"
Me: Hey, how are you?
Her: Good, how are you?
Me: Great! So how is your intrigue level right now?
Her: It's decently high.
Me: Good good. So here's my quick question... Do you floss before brushing or after brushing.
Her: <something I don't remember>
Me (laughing and interrupting her): Haha, no I am just kidding. Don't answer that. <pause> My real quick question is this: Do you like martinis?
Her: Yeah, they are good.
Me: Ok, that's awesome, because we are going to <restaraurant name> this Wednesday evening to have martinis.
Her: Umm, it's not that I don't want to come... I do... just that I am not in Waterloo (that's where I live, btw) right now. I am at my parents' at <a city 1 hour away from Waterloo>.
Me: Oh that's ok, when will you be back?
Her: Next week... but... umm... we can go on Wednesday.
Me: Oh, next Wednesday?
Her: No no, this one.
Me: Ok, sure, if you can come all the way from <her parents' place>.
Her: No, I also have some essays to submit.
Me: Ok, that's great!
Me: So are you having fun at your parents? Are they properly entertaining you?
Her: Naah, not much... blah blah...
blah blah blah
Me: Ok, I guess I will see you on Wednesday then! Oh hey, btw, this is a date, so don't bring your parents.
Her: Haha, no, don't worry, I won't.
Me: I will send you a text on Wednesday to confirm.


Ok, next, on Wednesday morning, I send her a text saying, "So, 8 pm, <restaruant name>. I will meet you at the door. It's dinner plus drinks, so don't eat beforehand. Sounds good?"

She immediately replies with, "Sure see you then."

After 2 hours, she says "Hey can we meet at 9 instead and skip dinner...?"

I reply, "Sure we can. See you at 9 then."

2 hours before the date, she texts: "Hey I am sorry, but can we do this another time? My essay is taking more time than I expected."

Me: "Alright. Good luck."

I wait for her text/call for 5 days. This week Monday I text asking how her essay was going.
She replied after 3 hours.

Her: I managed to get an extension haha.

I waited for some 2.5 hours or so and said.

Me: Nice. Your prof must be so proud. So you still at your parents'?
Her: Yeah, but planning to come back on Wednesday.

I thought of calling her and planning a D2 on phone, but it was already midnight so I thought I should ask her if it was a good time for a phone call. So I said

Me: Ok then I'm gonna call you in 2 mins. Lemme know if it's not a good time.
Her: Actually, I was just about to go to bed, so may be later?
Me: Cool, will call tomorrow then. Good night.
Her: Night!!!

Next day, i.e., Tuesday, I call her around 4:30 in the afternoon, she doesn't answer so I leave a msg "Hey it's future, call me when free."

Then I texted her saying, "Phone tag. I called you. Your turn now."

She immediately replied, "Haha heard your msg. Will call you whenever I can!"

This was Tuesday evening. She hasn't called yet. WTF.

[finton_the_toole]

She's not interested. Drop it. Move on.

More specifically, you were chasing way too hard. After inviting her to the restaurant and she says, she can't, tell her that's fine. Play aloof mastery.

When she says she can't speak to you because it's too late, don't respond. Or respond with something like 'Cool!'. Don't promise her you'll call tomorrow.

You lost hand in the interaction. From what you've posted, it would sound to her that you've got oneitis and it is turning her off.

[tjames]

(04-26-2012 02:29 PM)finton_the_toole Wrote:  

She's not interested. Drop it. Move on.

More specifically, you were chasing way too hard. After inviting her to the restaurant and she says, she can't, tell her that's fine. Play aloof mastery.

When she says she can't speak to you because it's too late, don't respond. Or respond with something like 'Cool!'. Don't promise her you'll call tomorrow.

You lost hand in the interaction. From what you've posted, it would sound to her that you've got oneitis and it is turning her off.

Yea do this. And if I might add, if you act in the alpha aloof way then she'll come crawling back if she's truly interested. Better to move on in either case.

[Veloce]

Not interested anymore. Way too much effort. You're obviously chasing her.

When she asked if you're single, pause for a minute and say, "It's complicated."

A lot of players here suggest going very dominant when setting up plans, like sending a text like, "Such and such club, 8pm. See you then."

This almost never works in L.A. because girls here are so self absorbed and perpetually busy. I've found success with, "Hey. Theres a great cocktail bar tht just opened, when are you free this week" Don't put a question mark, fuck up your grammar and spelling, keep at short and sweet as possible.

Your phone and texting game sounds fine for a girl you've already banged, but not before. If you haven't banged her, you want to withhold and much interaction as possible until you're in person.

[pitt]

I believe you can still fuck her.

I agree with others that you are chasing her way too much, actually you should have made your move the day she dropped you at your house. When she asked you, '' are you single''? She wanted to fuck. When you went for the hug, you should have tried to kiss her and then either try to fuck her in her car or invite her to your house.

You taking too much time to finalise things. Why are you inviting her to a restaurant? Invite her to your house instead, remember no restaurant game, taking girls out wont get you laid,it will only get you laid when you have been around the block and you know what you are doing.

Dont call her for the next two weeks at least, she will call you and if she doesnt, you call again, ask her if she wants to come watch a movie at your house and if she doesnt come, move on.

I loved that line ''remember, this is a date, dont bring your parents'' classic, stolen!

[at350zguyy]

(04-26-2012 05:08 PM)pitt Wrote:  

I believe you can still fuck her.

I agree with others that you are chasing her way too much, actually you should have made your move the day she dropped you at your house. When she asked you, '' are you single''? She wanted to fuck. When you went for the hug, you should have tried to kiss her and then either try to fuck her in her car or invite her to your house.

You taking too much time to finalise things. Why are you inviting her to a restaurant? Invite her to your house instead, remember no restaurant game, taking girls out wont get you laid,it will only get you laid when you have been around the block and you know what you are doing.

Dont call her for the next two weeks at least, she will call you and if she doesnt, you call again, ask her if she wants to come watch a movie at your house and if she doesnt come, move on.

I loved that line ''remember, this is a date, dont bring your parents'' classic, stolen!

That's the point where you could and should have escalated to more than a hug.

[future]

(04-26-2012 05:08 PM)pitt Wrote:  

I believe you can still fuck her.

Nice!

Quote:

I agree with others that you are chasing her way too much, actually you should have made your move the day she dropped you at your house. When she asked you, '' are you single''? She wanted to fuck. When you went for the hug, you should have tried to kiss her and then either try to fuck her in her car or invite her to your house.

There had been minimal kino escalation during the party actually. It was a small party with 6 people and most of the time we were just sitting around and chatting. It just so happened that the girl and I were the two people with the most things to say. So I'm not sure if directly going for the kiss was right.

Quote:

You taking too much time to finalise things. Why are you inviting her to a restaurant? Invite her to your house instead, remember no restaurant game, taking girls out wont get you laid,it will only get you laid when you have been around the block and you know what you are doing.

Dont call her for the next two weeks at least, she will call you and if she doesnt, you call again, ask her if she wants to come watch a movie at your house and if she doesnt come, move on.

Alright I will do something of this sort.

Quote:

I loved that line ''remember, this is a date, dont bring your parents'' classic, stolen!

Honored!

[future]

Ok, I texted her again today in the evening with "hi flaky mcflakester what's up"

I know it's a standard flake reversal text and can be easily looked up on google but I took a chance.

Meanwhile I also posted this on FB (on an unrelated note) as my sts: "You shouldn't make jokes when someone is drinking water from a bottle standing in front of your laptop."

I got her reply after 2.5 hours (i.e. at 9:30) saying "Spitting on laptops. Yourself?"

So, no apologies for flaking, but on the other hand, she tried to continue the conversation. And showed that she noticed my sts on FB.

I haven't replied yet.

I plan to text back tomorrow. I really don't know what I should do at the moment.

If someone gives some good advice before I go to sleep, I will do something about it, else I will wait for tomorrow.

[tjames]

(04-30-2012 09:05 PM)future Wrote:  

Ok, I texted her again today in the evening with "hi flaky mcflakester what's up"

I know it's a standard flake reversal text and can be easily looked up on google but I took a chance.

Meanwhile I also posted this on FB (on an unrelated note) as my sts: "You shouldn't make jokes when someone is drinking water from a bottle standing in front of your laptop."

I got her reply after 2.5 hours (i.e. at 9:30) saying "Spitting on laptops. Yourself?"

So, no apologies for flaking, but on the other hand, she tried to continue the conversation. And showed that she noticed my sts on FB.

I haven't replied yet.

I plan to text back tomorrow. I really don't know what I should do at the moment.

If someone gives some good advice before I go to sleep, I will do something about it, else I will wait for tomorrow.

You are getting too caught up on this girl drop her and move on. She is acting as the selector not you, she has all the power and control. It's her lost bro.

And I would like to add that you can't even get back at her by flirting with girls in front of her or cancelling plans at last minute since she is a flake. I had a girl who flaked twice at the last minute and I cut her off completety out of my life, do the same.

[future]

Well, I want to fuck her badly.

Also, I am not too caught up on her. Meanwhile I've been going out and getting numbers.

It just sounds silly to just give up on her randomly now that she's shown some interest again.

If I keep giving up on all the girls that show any sign of disinterest in the initial stages of our interactions, then I will probably never get laid.

Anyway, this is not a oneitis, if that's what you're thinking.

[rudebwoy]

I agree with Pitt's assessment.

Drop the text and FB nonsense, you cannot fuck her on a cellphone. Your opening post is painful b/c there is far too much chat, but you are young and we ALL make mistakes.

Arrange a date or meeting as soon as possible. If you live alone then invite her over, if you don't invite her to a bar for some drinks. If she says no then move onto these other "leads" you have, don't put her on a pedastal and imagine she farts like everyone else.

[future]

(04-30-2012 11:10 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

Arrange a date or meeting as soon as possible.

How soon? Should I text her tomorrow directly for a date? Or should I not reply for a few days because she didn't apologise for flaking, in fact, she completely ignored the issue?

Quote:

If she says no then move onto these other "leads" you have, don't put her on a pedastal and imagine she farts like everyone else.

Haha, that's a good one!

[Goodjob]

My suggestion: hit on other 10 girls before texting her back. Why? Because as far as I can see now the problem is with you rather than with her.

Sorry to be blunt: it happens to all of us, we find one that has some feature that we like and we fall in the trap.

This is my token on this: you have oneitis now. This means that, whatever you do, you'll screw it up.

So? Hit on other 10 girls. Only afterward you'll be able to deal with her.

Why hitting on other 10 girls?

1) because you'll forget about her. So, you'll get the medicines against oneitis;
2) because she'll notice that you have disappeared. And remember, there is nothing that gets more attention from a woman than lack of attention.
3) because to me, it seems it's a lost cause. so, if you hit on 10 others at least you invest your time in an efficient way. If then this helps you with the first one, much better.

[future]

(05-01-2012 05:07 PM)Goodjob Wrote:  

My suggestion: hit on other 10 girls before texting her back. Why? Because as far as I can see now the problem is with you rather than with her.

Sorry to be blunt: it happens to all of us, we find one that has some feature that we like and we fall in the trap.

This is my token on this: you have oneitis now. This means that, whatever you do, you'll screw it up.

So? Hit on other 10 girls. Only afterward you'll be able to deal with her.

Why hitting on other 10 girls?

1) because you'll forget about her. So, you'll get the medicines against oneitis;
2) because she'll notice that you have disappeared. And remember, there is nothing that gets more attention from a woman than lack of attention.
3) because to me, it seems it's a lost cause. so, if you hit on 10 others at least you invest your time in an efficient way. If then this helps you with the first one, much better.

I am going out at least 3-4 times this week.

[rudebwoy]

(04-30-2012 11:31 PM)future Wrote:  

(04-30-2012 11:10 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

Arrange a date or meeting as soon as possible.

How soon? Should I text her tomorrow directly for a date? Or should I not reply for a few days because she didn't apologise for flaking, in fact, she completely ignored the issue?

Quote:

If she says no then move onto these other "leads" you have, don't put her on a pedastal and imagine she farts like everyone else.

Haha, that's a good one!

I see you are in Canada, whereabouts if you don't mind me asking.

[future]

(05-01-2012 08:46 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

(04-30-2012 11:31 PM)future Wrote:  

(04-30-2012 11:10 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

Arrange a date or meeting as soon as possible.

How soon? Should I text her tomorrow directly for a date? Or should I not reply for a few days because she didn't apologise for flaking, in fact, she completely ignored the issue?

Quote:

If she says no then move onto these other "leads" you have, don't put her on a pedastal and imagine she farts like everyone else.

Haha, that's a good one!

I see you are in Canada, whereabouts if you don't mind me asking.

Waterloo, ON. Two hours from Toronto. You?

[Screwston]

Don't add girls on FB. I lie and say I don't have one. Just get her number if you can't do anything that night.

Your text message game is weak. Get straight to the point and don't joke around. Would of probably been better just to call her.

Your whole post is confusing. Putting way to much thought and effort into the bitch. Get rid of her if she's bullshitting like that. You went after her way to hard homie. Take it easy and act like you're busy even if you ain't. Respond slow to her texts and maybe miss a call or 2.