This came up when Blurb PMd me after reading my post on buying girls drinks in Brazilian and American culture.
I sort of got carried away with my answer and after talking with him, I decided to share, as it seems to be an interesting comparison all can add their share.
I checked for my spelling and added a few points that worth mentioning; here it goes:
Hey Blurb,
The thing is, you ought to take my views on the matter with a certain grain of salt. I'd say that something like 80% or so of my experience with "American women" were actually with Hawaiian women, particularly from the island of Oahu (city of Honolulu) where I lived for 5 months (with some side trips to neighbouring islands). I did have some interaction with women from the mainland while in Oahu, and also in my short stays while in San Francisco and Los Angeles, and I had a better impression of the girls from the mainland over the girls in Hawaii.
Nevertheless, if you are interested, I have some cultural observations that I carry.
I will discribe in loose terms the main differences I find between Brazilian women and American women.
I'd say that a big characteristic of American women (possibly not only women, and possibly not only American - I'm tempted to encompass Anglo-Saxon-Protestant culture as whole, though it is just my theory) is that they are more divided in psychological terms.
What do I mean by this? They are more repressed, and thus their "shadow" elements are hidden deeper and further away from their conscious awareness. It seems that people are either "good" or "bad" with no grey areas. This is something that I found to be widespread within American culture: complete intolerance for grey areas, the need to have everything labeled (I was never asked my "race" so much as when I was over there), the need to have everything measured and out there in the clear, the need to have everything “captured” and chewed out. This obviously has its effect on people.
Back to women - so you get the "good girl" -that is just the flip side of the "bad girl"- and vice versa.
The more repressive the culture, the more divided and reactive people are.
That is how "hardcore sluts" are made, how these crazed binge drinkers that have to be carried by bouncers in the clubs are made. It is a way to cope and compensate for too much repression, too much "rights and wrongs". At the same time you get all the church-going girls with their "purity rings" and their "virgin rallies" or whatever. The same phenomena but from different sides. -The prude and the slut are the same thing in essence, and both trying to grasp for air the way they can-
Whereas in a less repressive culture like Brazil, things take a different turn.
Girls tend to be more spontaneous and "warm". You see Carnival over here, right? Girls completely undressed etc etc, people fucking a lot... but the phenomena here is different: people are more "open" sexually, and thus less repressed. People fuck a lot not because they are repressed little sheep compensating for something, more so because they have less of these concepts of "right" or "wrong" ingrained in them, and are more naturally expressive of their bodily desires. (I honesly believe that the warm weather is part of it also)
But you get the dark side of it as well... You get very young girls getting pregnant and giving birth to 5 kids before they are 15 (an exaggeration, but could happen)... that is the lack of repression, the lack of "no" and "don't". It is not "slutiness" as it is in America, it derives from a lack of structure, not "too much" structure. That is why there are some very messy scenarios here. I’d say that the corruption we have here is a symptom of that as well. This “laxness” has its dark side- there is this cultural phenomena called “jeitinho brasileiro”, the “Brazilian way to ger round things”. A cop wants so fine you? Grease him and you are set. The druglords were busted by the police? More grease and it is all good.
The same apply to politics... Politicians are also “less guilty” to grab people’s money; a historical problem in Brazil.
But the thing is, it is easier to find in Brazil this midrange where girls will be open and sexual and warm without being sluts and without "over-playing" their game (like with the "buy me a drink" crap) while knowing how to flirt and knowing what they want (pleasure) with less guilt, less "no-no".
I had the impression with the crazies in Hawaii that they were so out of touch with this basic "playfulness" ("spontaneity", "ease") of the dynamic between the sexes that even when they were genuinly attracted to a guy's "charm" ("game", personality, humor etc) there was something (ill) that clicked in them and made them recoil into their heads (away from their body!) and start analyzing the "added benefits" such guy would have -status, money, what external benefit they could add. So it seemed to be a denial of a more organic and basic (natural?) dynamic, the "dance", the "mating ritual" that happens between the polarity of men and women and the playful fun that comes with it.
Sad.
Obviously not saying that things are perfect over here in Brazil (I've written about the moody period I'm going through over some posts at Vicious' Lounge), but it seems to me that a more natural dynamic between men and women can operate more freely, without such "external impositions" (that can be exemplified by the "buy me a drink if you want to talk to me" crap -the whole power play that is a symptom of deep unresolved wounds and feelings of smallness and impotence caused by the whole repressive megastructure and all its ramifications) getting in the way, at least with such force as I witnessed in the US.
(I've witnessed this too in the UK... thus my call on "Anglo" culture).
I think I got carried away... would you mind if I used this as a post for the forum?
cheers!
I sort of got carried away with my answer and after talking with him, I decided to share, as it seems to be an interesting comparison all can add their share.
I checked for my spelling and added a few points that worth mentioning; here it goes:
Quote:Quote:
blurb Wrote:It was interesting to read Roosh's insights (an American) into Brazilian dating and how shocked he was with Brazilian women's attitudes and behavior.
I am curious if you could tell me a bit more about your (a Brazilian) thoughts and insights into American women and dating. Were you surprised? Shocked? What things stood out? Was that experience with that woman yelling at you to buy another birthday woman a drink common and surprising?
Hey Blurb,
The thing is, you ought to take my views on the matter with a certain grain of salt. I'd say that something like 80% or so of my experience with "American women" were actually with Hawaiian women, particularly from the island of Oahu (city of Honolulu) where I lived for 5 months (with some side trips to neighbouring islands). I did have some interaction with women from the mainland while in Oahu, and also in my short stays while in San Francisco and Los Angeles, and I had a better impression of the girls from the mainland over the girls in Hawaii.
Nevertheless, if you are interested, I have some cultural observations that I carry.
I will discribe in loose terms the main differences I find between Brazilian women and American women.
I'd say that a big characteristic of American women (possibly not only women, and possibly not only American - I'm tempted to encompass Anglo-Saxon-Protestant culture as whole, though it is just my theory) is that they are more divided in psychological terms.
What do I mean by this? They are more repressed, and thus their "shadow" elements are hidden deeper and further away from their conscious awareness. It seems that people are either "good" or "bad" with no grey areas. This is something that I found to be widespread within American culture: complete intolerance for grey areas, the need to have everything labeled (I was never asked my "race" so much as when I was over there), the need to have everything measured and out there in the clear, the need to have everything “captured” and chewed out. This obviously has its effect on people.
Back to women - so you get the "good girl" -that is just the flip side of the "bad girl"- and vice versa.
The more repressive the culture, the more divided and reactive people are.
That is how "hardcore sluts" are made, how these crazed binge drinkers that have to be carried by bouncers in the clubs are made. It is a way to cope and compensate for too much repression, too much "rights and wrongs". At the same time you get all the church-going girls with their "purity rings" and their "virgin rallies" or whatever. The same phenomena but from different sides. -The prude and the slut are the same thing in essence, and both trying to grasp for air the way they can-
Whereas in a less repressive culture like Brazil, things take a different turn.
Girls tend to be more spontaneous and "warm". You see Carnival over here, right? Girls completely undressed etc etc, people fucking a lot... but the phenomena here is different: people are more "open" sexually, and thus less repressed. People fuck a lot not because they are repressed little sheep compensating for something, more so because they have less of these concepts of "right" or "wrong" ingrained in them, and are more naturally expressive of their bodily desires. (I honesly believe that the warm weather is part of it also)
But you get the dark side of it as well... You get very young girls getting pregnant and giving birth to 5 kids before they are 15 (an exaggeration, but could happen)... that is the lack of repression, the lack of "no" and "don't". It is not "slutiness" as it is in America, it derives from a lack of structure, not "too much" structure. That is why there are some very messy scenarios here. I’d say that the corruption we have here is a symptom of that as well. This “laxness” has its dark side- there is this cultural phenomena called “jeitinho brasileiro”, the “Brazilian way to ger round things”. A cop wants so fine you? Grease him and you are set. The druglords were busted by the police? More grease and it is all good.
The same apply to politics... Politicians are also “less guilty” to grab people’s money; a historical problem in Brazil.
But the thing is, it is easier to find in Brazil this midrange where girls will be open and sexual and warm without being sluts and without "over-playing" their game (like with the "buy me a drink" crap) while knowing how to flirt and knowing what they want (pleasure) with less guilt, less "no-no".
I had the impression with the crazies in Hawaii that they were so out of touch with this basic "playfulness" ("spontaneity", "ease") of the dynamic between the sexes that even when they were genuinly attracted to a guy's "charm" ("game", personality, humor etc) there was something (ill) that clicked in them and made them recoil into their heads (away from their body!) and start analyzing the "added benefits" such guy would have -status, money, what external benefit they could add. So it seemed to be a denial of a more organic and basic (natural?) dynamic, the "dance", the "mating ritual" that happens between the polarity of men and women and the playful fun that comes with it.
Sad.
Obviously not saying that things are perfect over here in Brazil (I've written about the moody period I'm going through over some posts at Vicious' Lounge), but it seems to me that a more natural dynamic between men and women can operate more freely, without such "external impositions" (that can be exemplified by the "buy me a drink if you want to talk to me" crap -the whole power play that is a symptom of deep unresolved wounds and feelings of smallness and impotence caused by the whole repressive megastructure and all its ramifications) getting in the way, at least with such force as I witnessed in the US.
(I've witnessed this too in the UK... thus my call on "Anglo" culture).
I think I got carried away... would you mind if I used this as a post for the forum?
cheers!