[Menace]

Scenario: On-line. Asian 26 year old, I sent her a Rooshian opener on-line, she replied. I suggested we meet up, and she said she could only do it today b/c she was otherwise busy this week and next week (out of town maybe?) Who knows. I said let me think about it and suggested my regular date place near a Metro stop here, and gave her my number to text me and let me know when she gets off today (I was also time constrained because I had to go to salsa class later in the day).

Text convo follows:

4:30 pm Her: Hi Menace. I can get there at 6:30. Let me know what you think. AsianGirl

Me: ok I'll see you there at 6:30

5:12 pm Her: Or do you mind if we meet at Hookah Bar (which was topic of our conversation) instead of Date Place?

Here is where I was stumped. I may have out gamed or over gamed myself. Given the time constraints, there was no chance for SNL. But, I know you should never let girls change plans and follow them. So I said:

Me: let's go to Hookah Bar next time, b/c I may need to leave a bit before 8 for salsa

Her: Then no worries. We can just meet up next time.

Me: alright, I'll get in touch with you later

So, did I make the right move or not? I don't really care one way or the other, but in the case where you are certain that a SNL is impossible, is it better to meet or stick to your guns? Kind of ambivalent about it. This may be after the fact rationalization, but in some sense it's better b/c I don't like time constrained events or always looking at my watch.

[Tuthmosis]

You made the absolute right move, in my opinion. I've run into this several times (especially with certain types of girls), and this is some attempted strong-arming shit that chicks try to do to put you in logistics that are 100-percent-favorable for themselves. They can still get your attention for the night (and probably some free drinks or food in the process) and also keep all of the other things and people they have sitting over you on their long priority lists. You become commodified which, of course, rarely translates into a bang.

You made one concession (which I support, under controlled, reasonable circumstance such as the ones you've described). The second one was ownership and a form of disrespect. It's actually tantamount to flaking, in my view. She's showing up, but she's just phoning it in on you. She might as well move the date to Skype.

Hit her up in 10 days just for on the off-chance that you can reactivate. More likely, this was dead-on-arrival (DOA).

[ElJefe]

Tuth has a fine-tuned sense for this stuff.

My only comment is that when she wrote 6:30, you could've replied "6:37". Don't ask me why, but this move is a neat way of prepping a girl for more compliance, even if it's silly (see the post on compliance and value at BristolLair - fantastic article).

I have no idea if this would've stopped her from trying to change plans. Prob not

[Parlay44]

You gotta watch man. I had a fb of mine text me early one Saturday. I was out shopping at the mall. She invites me out for drinks with her and her gf. She says we'll be at so-and-so bar...which is a local bar that we all frequent anyway. No big deal. So I get there and find them at the bar. I buy a round of drinks and we're BS'n and laughing and all that. I suggest we bounce out to another bar. So they say sure and they pick a lounge 15 minutes away. We chill there for a few drinks and leave. So fb says let's pick up some package goods and go back to her place. Sounds good cause it's still early ...like 12ish.

I pull my classic Parlay move and try to kiss her at a red light. First time ever she turned me down. She had a bf at the time but it never mattered before which is what threw me off. Anytime she calls me she's DTF.

We end up at her door and there's some big black dude waiting with a cooler. I was like OK WTF? Ends up being some dude they hang with from HS. He busts out some blow and the 3 of them do some lines. 5am comes around and he leaves and I crash on her couch with my dick in my hand.

Moral of the story ...chicks that invite you out have the whole night planned already. You're just one piece of their free booze and free blow evening. If you don't feel like you're in control ...then they're in control.

[Black Knight]

Since it's a place you had both talked about previously AND the plans themselves were made at the last minute, I might have given it a shot depending on the circumstances. If the place is well out of your way, more expensive, it's conceivable she might try to wrangle you into a free dinner, etc., then it's a no-go. If you have a date planned well in advance and she tries to switch it up at the last minute, that's a no-go as well. But I don't see this on quite the same level as a straight up flake like Tuth said.

Your rule of thumb is generally good - I agree that it's better to err on the side of not putting up with this shit. Considering an often annoying time investment into getting a decent online chick to meet up in person, though, I probably would have gone with it and just kept an especially vigilant eye for her milking you for resources or attention without any intention to bang in the future, at which point you hit the eject button and go about your more important hobbies.

I think this one has a non-zero chance of returning a restart text after she gets back. Not a big deal.

[soup]

I'm with Tuth on this..

Think of game as writing a story. If the story doesn't write itself after two days of effort, throw it out and start a new one.

Get into the throw-away habit.

[iknowexactly]

"Her: Then no worries. We can just meet up next time."

SHE SAID BEFORE SHE COULD BE THERE AT 630. Then she didn't live up to her promise. Flake. Next.

You won't follow her plan-change order, so she make fake-nice "No worries" and cancels on you.
Very ugly and sugar coated. Girl has "issues", major reason many even semi-hot women are online, they'd have tons of guys from real life if they weren't closet bitches.

Especially since there was no apparent reason for the necessity of a venue change from her.
If there was a reason, a socially skilled person would explain:
"Do you mind if we go to X? Going to Y means I have to make two transfers."

I'd force it out in the open. Fuck making believe passive-aggressive is not ugly.

"So you want to cancel for today?" She basically said move venue or I quit. Passive-agressive. Next.

[soup]

Being passive-aggressive is a female characteristic, so it doesn't have value in my judgment of them. Out-right aggression is for the manly-girls.

[iknowexactly]

(02-17-2012 03:15 AM)soup Wrote:  

Being passive-aggressive is a female characteristic, so it doesn't have value in my judgment of them. Out-right aggression is for the manly-girls.

I agree to the extent that passive aggressive as a way to express anger is a pretty polite way to do it .

But it means this girl is angry from the start with a guy who's done nothing to her but ask her out!!

You're starting with a seriously flawed chick-- there are girls that don't get pissed right from the start over nothing. Better to follow Roosh's maxim "All game is numbers game." and select for basically friendly ones from the start. They'll all have their hissy fits soon enough, but "difficult women remain difficult " ( Janka) .

Why pick them from the start?

The thing that really freaks me out subjectively is the practiced PA sweetener- "No worries" which is exactly the opposite of what she means in this case, which was "Toe the line or fuck off."

[Divinius]

I would avoid texting "lets go to X-bar next time." Don't make up any plans with bitches you haven't fucked. Particularly not teens. It's a gross turn off for them.

[theIVth]

Personally, I would have went. You never know what could have happened if you just woulda went and met her there. If nothing would have happened, you still would be in the same boat that your in now. If you gone dismiss a chick at the first sign of noncompliance, you might as well give your self at least one hail mary chance of making something happen if she was seemingly open to meeting somewhere, even if it was on her so called turf.

Sometimes you just gotta go with the flow

[Neo]

I don't think you did anything wrong especially since she's an online girl. The situation for me would change if for example let's say I had hooked up with the girl(maybe even a makeout) and we stayed in touch. In that case I'd let more things slide, because she has invested more. Otherwise for a random girl like this, I'd say you made the right move.

Also with certain girls I notice things and take them into consideration. If she had something going on is she one of those girls who is 'too busy to date.'? I find girls who tend to have something going on every night of the week to be a waste of time. Also I find girls who attempt to take the lead to be more difficult to get into the sack.

[Menace]

Thanks guys. This girl and another girl have been really non-compliant. This other one wanted to meet in Fairfax, VA instead of in DC, which I have agreed to, but I don't think I'm actually going to do it now, regardless of how big and juicy her tits are. I may text this Asian later, but am not holding my breath.

[babelfish669]

Hehe, you know what I do, "meet me at my place" (easy in a big city) or "I'm at X." Retrospectively I'm not sure I've ever missed a lay because of it. I've also been known to meet strippers right after they get out of work, but once its 4am, rules change.

[BadgerHut]

(02-17-2012 07:54 PM)Menace Wrote:  

Thanks guys. This girl and another girl have been really non-compliant. This other one wanted to meet in Fairfax, VA instead of in DC, which I have agreed to, but I don't think I'm actually going to do it now, regardless of how big and juicy her tits are. I may text this Asian later, but am not holding my breath.

"regardless of how big and juicy her tits are."

Now that is some poetry!

[Gmac]

(02-16-2012 06:38 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

You made the absolute right move, in my opinion. I've run into this several times (especially with certain types of girls), and this is some attempted strong-arming shit that chicks try to do to put you in logistics that are 100-percent-favorable for themselves. They can still get your attention for the night (and probably some free drinks or food in the process) and also keep all of the other things and people they have sitting over you on their long priority lists. You become commodified which, of course, rarely translates into a bang.

You made one concession (which I support, under controlled, reasonable circumstance such as the ones you've described). The second one was ownership and a form of disrespect. It's actually tantamount to flaking, in my view. She's showing up, but she's just phoning it in on you. She might as well move the date to Skype.

Hit her up in 10 days just for on the off-chance that you can reactivate. More likely, this was dead-on-arrival (DOA).

This x 1000

Tuth man you are always on point. It's easy to see who really knows their shit (from experience) and those who are talking out of their asses.

[Gmac]

(02-17-2012 07:54 PM)Menace Wrote:  

Thanks guys. This girl and another girl have been really non-compliant. This other one wanted to meet in Fairfax, VA instead of in DC, which I have agreed to, but I don't think I'm actually going to do it now, regardless of how big and juicy her tits are. I may text this Asian later, but am not holding my breath.

Don't do it. Fairfax is awful.

Honestly you're better off limiting yourself to women who live near you (or near where you're more willing to travel). For me, living in DC is perfect because I can walk/drive a girl home and weasel my way into her apartment... or escort her back to mine for a drink.

Plan ahead, don't waste your time on chicks who don't meet your logistical criteria... that's huge.

[Menace]

(02-17-2012 09:49 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Don't do it. Fairfax is awful.

In our correspondence she called it "Funfax." Plus she asked me all kinds of weird questions, like if I was a citizen, and about my heritage. I think she may be a closet KKK member. Nice rack though.

[Menace]

Fairfax girl is the woman in this Date Lab: http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/...story.html

Small world.

[Tuthmosis]

(02-19-2012 05:23 PM)Menace Wrote:  

Fairfax girl is the woman in this Date Lab: http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/...story.html

Small world.

You went out with a Date Lab chick?!

[ElJefe]

"Do any Date Lab couples ever get together? If you could figure out the opposite of their matching algorithm, you'd be rich."

LOL!!!

[Riker]

I think you should have gone if you wanted to regardless of what´s right in theory. I went out with a girl from OKCupid and suggested a place near her neighborhood that I knew of and she suggested another supposedly cool bar nearby. I felt like getting to know a new place so I agreed and it went great, after we transitioned into a cool place I knew and then we went back to my place.

I guess I didn´t have the time constraint and the snl was possible but still I feel if you want to, go, if you don´t, don´t. At least in this case.

[Menace]

I didn't go out with her yet, but I think I may simply for the comedy value.

[Screwston]

Someone has the chance to fuck a Date Lab lizard? Menace you have to make it happen.

[BadgerHut]

(02-21-2012 11:42 PM)houston Wrote:  

Someone has the chance to fuck a Date Lab lizard? Menace you have to make it happen.

Yes, our brand of science depends on it.