[Trotter]

So I got a phone call from this chick that I had a fling with a few years ago. She and I sort of stayed in touch over the years. She is simply beautiful and very much my type of woman. Part Chippewa indian and caucasian, 5'3 and extremely petite (which I love), very cute, and a total sex bot. I think I mentioned her once before. She's the chick that loves nothing more than to give some awesome oral, and is satisfied with a date night if there was nothing but hours of that. An extremely rare find.

She knows I'm hooked up with a live in girlfriend now, but she still wants to come down and see me. And being really the only thing that we've had going on was a purely sexual relationship it's pretty evident that she's looking for a lay. Not to mention the flirty and sexy text messages that strongly suggested the prospect of immediate sex upon arrival.

Now the gf and I have been in talks about calling it quits amicably in December for various reasons. But she wants to continue like it's normal relationship until then and seeing how things go from there. Well my dilemma is this girl is oinly going to be in town for a short while, if I tell her to drive down to Michigan, and it'll be the only opportunity to see her and get a fantastic lay out of it.

Now I'm wondering if this would be considered cheating if it happens before the gf moves out (if that even happens). Now if she was living in her own place no questions asked I'm all over it. But it adds a new dynamic to the whole thing since we're living together. I wanna hear some thoughts from the community.

Cheating or not? I already know the answer, I'm just curious to hear what anyone else thinks.

[broken]

If you hesistate, it's cheating.

Plus a scheduled and amicable future break up is a problem in the making.

[duncanidaho]

(09-04-2008 10:46 AM)Trotter Wrote:  

Cheating or not? I already know the answer, I'm just curious to hear what anyone else thinks.

Yeah, I think it's cheating when it's believed by both parties that they're exclusive to one another, omitting any open relationship agreements.

I want to recommend that it's important you choose which ethics you want to live by, and not be governed by any morals that are insinuated in your belief system from some outside source you haven't consciously chosen. Regardless of which decision you choose in the visit that's going to take place, be as aware as you can on the ramifications each action can bring, then be resigned to your decision without any regrets.

[Bernie]

the gf and I have been in talks about calling it quits amicably in December for various reasons

Trotter, your girlfriend has someone else lined up in the wings. Girls don't schedule amicable split ups for any other reason. Their emotions don't have on/off switches. She can't be loving you at the same time she's talking amicable split. And she can't be loving you in September, October and November and then shut it off on schedule in December.

[Roosh]

Doesn't sound like cheating to me

[Ben Kenobi]

You are probably splitting in December. I say get with this other girl and don't look back. For all intents and purposes your current relationship is over if you guys are agreeing to break up.

[The Dude]

why don't you just break it off with the current "girlfriend" now? A planned break up sounds bizarre.

I don't see any real problem with seeing the Chippewa girl.

[Trotter]

Because that's when the college semester is over and she's live-in. So it would be too much strain on her to have to worry about moving out now. It's just more convenient. She wants to call it a trial period to see if things are going to work out. I can read between the lines though.

[twigman]

Yeah - you're on the right track - of course read between the lines - she's not going to spell it out for you. People rarely just tell you "I'm going to leave you".Your arrangement has the capacity to be a bit damaging to your life - its not natural. Its bound to breed some weird not so healthy situations.

Trial periods - what a minefield.

[Bernie]

In other words, she intends to dump you when the semester is over. She's not dumping you now because she still has to live with you until December and she does not want to be embarrassed in front of her friends by having you date other people while you still live with her.

[zorgon]

Won't a planned breakup simply snowball into an immediate breakup?

Heck, even one party *thinking* about a breakup can cause problems that snowball into an actual breakup. That's certainly what happened with my ex when I started thinking about ditching her. (Example: are you going to book a trip when you think that you might be broken up before the trip happens?) I recall making any number of lame excuses and giving less-than-fully-straight answers to questions...

[twigman]

reminds me of how we were heading for a break up right before a paid- up planned holiday overseas - we would have been broken up and sitting on the same plane going to the same destination.

sometimes there's no easy answer!

[ned]

go ahead and get with the old fling. sometimes the right thing to do seems like the wrong thing at the time...