I'm also new to the forum, and the topic. Two cents from someone in a very similar situation.
* about being selective: I'm also very picky. If I had to be honest with myself, it's like someone said here - a defense mechanism for rejection.
I get what you're saying about many girls being boring etc. If you are not so attracted to them, it's hard
to make yourself put effort in, but you HAVE TO. Different things motivate different people... I'll tell you what worked for me.
I met an amazing girl couple months ago. I thought, that's the chick I WANT to get. I made an attempt and bombed spectacularly because my game sucked.
She became the reason I want to learn how to attract girls. Every time I'm lazy or too picky I tell myself that I have to do it to one day be getting girls like her.
Now, if you are into girls that are not considered physically attractive by the majority of guys, chances are you will get a girl without being a master of seduction. But chances also are she will want to marry you, withhold sex, sense your scarcity mentality and use you/dump you etc.
Just like girls use guys to get validation, attention, entertainment... use them to get the confidence, skills, etc. necessary to get the girls you really want.
Also about being selective - you can pick couple features you like and only approach girls that have them. For me it's height. Being selective this way makes it easy for you and improves your confidence.
* about coming up with reasons not to... I get the same thing. I'm trying not to listen to myself![[Image: smile.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/smile.gif)
and also ask positive questions like "How do I ...", so that my mind helps me come up with ways to approach. It works!
* about being able to tell if she is really approachable: I'm trying to use body language, eye contact and reactions to find see if they are approachable.
With the body language I noticed that many approachable girls give you proximity, open body language etc. I sometimes see girls do something weird to try to help me approach - for example, yesterday I got out of the subway train and got eye contact from a nice blond girl. She then turned her back to the tracks and faced me for a split second [ something subtle, but not normal ]. When she noticed I wasn't going to say anything she quickly walked away and parked herself at a distance at the same platform. I know... I should have said something![[Image: sad.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/sad.gif)
but noticing it is already huge progress for me
About eye contact - I'm assuming eye contact is a green light. The bad thing is that I get most from girls passing me on the street I'm not daring enough to stop them.
The last thing is reactions - say if I'm passing by in a narrow passageway I would touch her shoulder, say something neutral like excuse me and watch her reaction carefully.
Good luck!
* about being selective: I'm also very picky. If I had to be honest with myself, it's like someone said here - a defense mechanism for rejection.
I get what you're saying about many girls being boring etc. If you are not so attracted to them, it's hard
to make yourself put effort in, but you HAVE TO. Different things motivate different people... I'll tell you what worked for me.
I met an amazing girl couple months ago. I thought, that's the chick I WANT to get. I made an attempt and bombed spectacularly because my game sucked.
She became the reason I want to learn how to attract girls. Every time I'm lazy or too picky I tell myself that I have to do it to one day be getting girls like her.
Now, if you are into girls that are not considered physically attractive by the majority of guys, chances are you will get a girl without being a master of seduction. But chances also are she will want to marry you, withhold sex, sense your scarcity mentality and use you/dump you etc.
Just like girls use guys to get validation, attention, entertainment... use them to get the confidence, skills, etc. necessary to get the girls you really want.
Also about being selective - you can pick couple features you like and only approach girls that have them. For me it's height. Being selective this way makes it easy for you and improves your confidence.
* about coming up with reasons not to... I get the same thing. I'm trying not to listen to myself
and also ask positive questions like "How do I ...", so that my mind helps me come up with ways to approach. It works!* about being able to tell if she is really approachable: I'm trying to use body language, eye contact and reactions to find see if they are approachable.
With the body language I noticed that many approachable girls give you proximity, open body language etc. I sometimes see girls do something weird to try to help me approach - for example, yesterday I got out of the subway train and got eye contact from a nice blond girl. She then turned her back to the tracks and faced me for a split second [ something subtle, but not normal ]. When she noticed I wasn't going to say anything she quickly walked away and parked herself at a distance at the same platform. I know... I should have said something
but noticing it is already huge progress for me About eye contact - I'm assuming eye contact is a green light. The bad thing is that I get most from girls passing me on the street
I'm not daring enough to stop them.The last thing is reactions - say if I'm passing by in a narrow passageway I would touch her shoulder, say something neutral like excuse me and watch her reaction carefully.
Good luck!