Quote: (10-03-2014 01:23 PM)RexImperator Wrote:
I'm starting to think I might have a problem with having a lack of aggression. Not only with women but with regards to life in general. It applies across multiple aspects of life. I'm very laid back and perhaps too laid back. My default energy state is pretty low. Even when lifting heavy weights, I tend not to approach it from the "get angry and pumped up before a heavy set" mentality like a lot of guys do, but with a more Zen-like approach of trying to empty my mind of doubts and self-defeating thoughts.
Anyone else overcome something like this?
Rex, you're probably more on the introvert side. You need to understand that the idea of aggression in our society is very much that of an extrovert.
I'm sort of an ambivert i.e half introvert half extrovert, so I can see both sides and have tried different things.
Take lifting for example. I'm a powerlifter who trains in a powerlifting club, so I see all kinds of stuff guys do before a heavy set. The stereotype is that guys play loud music, get super angry and pumped up then attack the weights. This applies to many, for sure, but there are a significant number of very strong guys who do the opposite, and they tend to be the introverts.
My style is that of the latter. There's no music, I can only hear the plates clanging, my breathing and my heart beating. I calmly walk to the rack with zero tension. It's only when I actually touch the bar that I start to channel my inner aggression to the weights. As I do so, it's obvious to any observer, from my tomato face, to the veins popping off my forehead, to my primal grunts as the bar is lifted off, that I'm far from a low energy Zen master. Newbies at my lifting club have found out the hard way when they get in my way or try to distract me somehow.
I have tried the angry music, pumped up stuff, but it didn't make me stronger. I felt my energy was being projected randomly all over the place instead of where it mattered most.
I'm similar when playing sports or sparring in MA. I don't get angry, I don't look angry, but upon contacts, my opponents will know I'm aggressive.
However, I'm the opposite of that and more like a high energy guy when it comes to social settings - women, friends, performance arts, or work meetings. That's what works for me.
You want to control and channel your aggression to achieve your goals. How you do it is very much tied to your personality and what works best for you. The popular images and stereotypes may not work for you.