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Best Man Speech
#4

Best Man Speech

Pick one unique ("weird") thing about the guy, then free-associate about it for a few days.
I did this and ended up talking about the focused comprehensiveness of my best friend the groom's sports memorabilia and comparing his bride to famous ancient statuary. Yet it wasn't pretentious, partly because I held a crib sheet and was visibly nervous.
In this setting, maximal authenticity works -- wedding band musicians came up to me and said it was the best they'd heard, and distant relations still mention it when they run into me.
Even if they all actually think it was the shittiest speech ever, I and the addressee know it was from the heart.
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