Quote: (08-06-2011 04:06 PM)Thunder Fox Wrote:
I know a lot of you guys are younger but I'm 38 and married and still doing pretty well across all ages of women.
Same here; we're around the same age btw.
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I always struggle with whether or not to tell them I'm married.
There are several factors to consider, the most important being:
- Whether it benefits you or not. In most cases it will not benefit you, but in a few cases it may be your advantage (typically when a married chick who is secure in her marriage is looking for ongoing FB she's often looking for a man in a secure marriage to minimize drama potential). This, of course, only makes sense if you look for FB-like relationships.
- What is the chance she'd find out before you have sex with her. If there is a significant chance, you might want to volunteer this information early so you don't waste your time on a chick for whom this is an absolute deal breaker.
In a "pickup" (bar/club/whatever) environment I see no reason to tell the truth (although in most cases she doesn't really care). In some cases, like if you ask where she lives and find out she lives in your neighborhood, I'd rather excuse myself and leave - don't shit where you eat. The exception is if you're in a group, and there are people in the group who know you're married - in this case they might cockblock you by "volunteering" this information once they see you're getting some (while they don't). If you're in this situation, you need to defuse it in advance. For example, you can tell her you're married but nobody knows you're in open relationship (this is weak), you got divorced a week ago and nobody knows yet, or that you lied to all your buddies you're married so they stop hitting on you.
However in environments like social activities (sports, church) and so on when you're meeting the same people more than once, it makes no sense to hide this information as people would find out anyway, and you'll look like that creepy married dude who's hitting on chick behind his wife's back. In Europe nobody would give shit, but here in US they pretend they do, and it makes things harder so this should be avoided. You still can game there, but it should be very indirect, and the ROI is extremely low; I completely stopped doing it a few years ago because of low ROI.