I've been thinking about this a lot in the last few months. I'm seriously overweight, like I want to lose 40 pounds (I'm working on it every day). I'm about 235 right now at 5'11, and I'm pretty muscular with very broad shoulders and chest. I can carry the weight well, but the fact that I'm just plain fat is not up for debate. I was up to around 250 a few months ago, by far the fattest I've ever been.
The thing is, the reaction I get from women has everything to do with my confidence.
If my hair looks good, I'm taking good care of my beard, and my clothes are clean, flattering, and unwrinkled, then I feel like king shit and girls see it in the way I move, the way I talk, the look in my eye and my smirk when I make eye contact. I get eye fucked despite being overweight. I don't try to hide my fat, I wear jeans that are snug in the butt/thighs and shirts that aren't skin tight but that I stretch in the shoulders/arms/chest to emphasize my powerful build.
Contrast that with how things are when my hair is dirty and I'm hiding it with a hat, or I'm wearing a shirt that is too loose and makes me look like a skinnyfat chump. Maybe I haven't lined my beard up in a week or trimmed it evenly so it doesn't have a clean shape. Combine a few of those factors and I become horribly self conscious of how shitty I look, and I might as well be invisible to women. Sure, the fact that I don't look as good does hurt to some extent, but the negative effect that has on my behavior is far greater.
I've never had a girl that I hooked up with mention my weight, in or out of the bedroom. Girls who are attracted to me, who I'm not trying to hook up with, will actually claim that I'm not fat but just a large man if the subject comes up in conversation. Sure, some girls out there are snobs about a guy being overweight, but from what I can tell most don't give a shit, even if they're in great shape themselves.
So, my conclusion is if you're overweight and want to work on it, great, but don't let it eat at you. I promise it bothers you a lot more than it bothers anyone else. Maximize your confidence as you are now and it will pay off, and when you do get in better shape down the road you'll be killing it more than ever.
The thing is, the reaction I get from women has everything to do with my confidence.
If my hair looks good, I'm taking good care of my beard, and my clothes are clean, flattering, and unwrinkled, then I feel like king shit and girls see it in the way I move, the way I talk, the look in my eye and my smirk when I make eye contact. I get eye fucked despite being overweight. I don't try to hide my fat, I wear jeans that are snug in the butt/thighs and shirts that aren't skin tight but that I stretch in the shoulders/arms/chest to emphasize my powerful build.
Contrast that with how things are when my hair is dirty and I'm hiding it with a hat, or I'm wearing a shirt that is too loose and makes me look like a skinnyfat chump. Maybe I haven't lined my beard up in a week or trimmed it evenly so it doesn't have a clean shape. Combine a few of those factors and I become horribly self conscious of how shitty I look, and I might as well be invisible to women. Sure, the fact that I don't look as good does hurt to some extent, but the negative effect that has on my behavior is far greater.
I've never had a girl that I hooked up with mention my weight, in or out of the bedroom. Girls who are attracted to me, who I'm not trying to hook up with, will actually claim that I'm not fat but just a large man if the subject comes up in conversation. Sure, some girls out there are snobs about a guy being overweight, but from what I can tell most don't give a shit, even if they're in great shape themselves.
So, my conclusion is if you're overweight and want to work on it, great, but don't let it eat at you. I promise it bothers you a lot more than it bothers anyone else. Maximize your confidence as you are now and it will pay off, and when you do get in better shape down the road you'll be killing it more than ever.