Quote: (06-10-2011 08:27 PM)Urban Renaissance Man Wrote:
Quote: (06-10-2011 07:06 PM)Athlone McGinnis Wrote:
I feel that it'd be wise for men to stop bestowing the "10" label upon women for several reasons, the first being that they simply don't exist in actuality.
In my mind, a 10 implies perfection. When you hand out that label, you're basically saying that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that girl, nothing that's even less than perfect on her. Even the most beautiful women have some sort of flaw physically, and probably at least a couple personally. Imperfection is our reality. They are all humans, and humans are naturally imperfect.
When you give out a legitimate 10, you sort of imply otherwise-that she's transcended human norms of imperfection and become flawless, like some sort of goddess. This is a mentality than can lead to serious pedestalization issues if you're not careful. We all talk about many girls having inflated egos, and I honestly believe this is part of why. We have too many guys telling them that they are perfect, flawless, entirely without fault and unable to do wrong. If you were that girl getting the "10" label all the time(on top of all the red carpet treatment men give you), you'd probably have the same flaky attitude. People have basically said that you are perfection-you can do no wrong. Why settle for any guy when you've been deemed perfect and absolutely flawless?
Think about a girl in your mind who you've ever labelled a 10. Is she TRULY flawless? Is there nothing about her that, were you a god, you would make better? Could her boobs be shaped a little better? Is her face the prettiest you've ever seen? If her face is the prettiest, then does she have a good waste-to-hip ratio to go with it? How are her teeth-could they be whiter? Could her stomach be tighter? Could she have better legs or height? I could go on.
The bottomline is that a truly flawless woman (a real 10) cannot be nitpicked. If you can find anything at all you'd like better on her, she isn't a 10. If a large number of other men can find something they don't like(even if you can't quite do it yet), she isn't a 10-afterall, if a girl a were truly perfect there really wouldn't be any significant number of men who could find obvious fault with her. If any other girl does any one thing(face, hips, etc) better than her, she isn't a 10. She isn't without flaws.
When guys ignore this reality and throw out that label for women(then treat them as such), they engage in dangerous pedestalization and ego inflation.
The girls I post in that other thread are my 9s and 9.5s-no 10s. There are no actual human 10s as far as I am concerned, and most only get close with the aid of photoshop and makeup.
Thoughts?
Very well put, and I definitely agree with you. I would like mention however that
most men use the '10'description as a way of saying extremely pretty. I'm sure most man, expecially the ones on this forum, realize there are no perfect or flawless girls. I also think most of the guys on the forum would consider personality, education and income level as a factor before considering someone even to be a 9.5. Still, overall your very right about the heroine worship we do. Women have got to stop being put on pedestals. I'm just as guilty of this a any body. I've dated girls that I knew were 6.5. to 7, yet I made them feel like 10's. I actually thought I was doing the right thing. I've always thought you're supposed to make your girl feel good about herself. All I succeeded in doing what is to help them realize they had better options! I now know that if their mamas' weren't to be able to instill self-esteem into them, it's not my job to do so!
Wait, what? That's terrible, not making them feel good because they'll realize they have better options! hehe, I think you have to believe you are the best option for the girl, and not let her feel she's not that good so she better settle for you. But yea, I get it, don't make them think that you think they are better than you.