Year Drinking Wagon Challenge for 2014
12-04-2013, 11:21 AM
I feel like those of you who keep repeating how difficult it is to not drink have a hard, hard road ahead of you.
It's common to think that way about booze...but then again, who here wants to be like the average person? The average person can't even keep Big Macs out of their mouth.
How do they change that (should they want to be something more)?
Not through willpower - rarely works.
If you want an uncommon life, you have to look at things from an uncommon point of view. So they change it through a paradigm shift, whether intentional or not...
And that's what you've got to do.
Because when it comes down to it, not drinking is like anything else in life. You really change your mind about it - your entire perspective - and it becomes easy.
No willpower needed.
It isn't some attribute of liquor that makes giving it up hard; it's an attribute of the way you see liquor. That's a really crucial point because it puts all the power back in your hands.
You've got to sit down and have a pow-wow with yourself. If you're still clinging to a habit you want to get rid of, ask yourself why you're clinging to it. Then confront that doubt head-on and settle the issue.
Once and for all.
That way, you can walk away with all your cards on the table and get to fulfilling the decision you've made without fucking with yourself.
And once you're certain, you won't sit there and beat yourself up about social situations and this and that. You can simply accept 100% that you live by new rules and seek out creative ways to win the game based on your new rules.
Will it be challenging to adapt to a new way of doing things? Sure it will - but obviously not impossible. Other people do it so you can do it.
It's just something you need to learn.
And that attitude is a universe away from constantly looking back over your shoulder wondering if maybe you should have made a different decision.
There's nothing I find more depressing than a room full of AA members drilling into each other's head the idea that liquor has some kind of special power over them. That with just one drop they'll go all demonic and shit and that they have to check in with their people on a regular basis just to control some savage craving for a drink.
"I am an alcoholic," they repeat to themselves over and over and over....
Then they wonder why they fly off the hinges the next time a beer hits their hand...
Well, no shit, Sherlock. You've pretty much made being an alcoholic your entire identity - what did you expect?
Sit in a room with other people telling each other you're insane, and guess what? Chances are you're going to end up in a mental hospital at some point in your life.
The dominating thoughts in your mind become your reality.
So fuck all that nonsense. Booze has no power to make decisions for you - it's just a toxic substance we mix with sugar and other sweeteners because we like the way it makes us feel funny.
Only you have the power to decide whether you want to take part in that ritual or not. And when you break it down to the reality it turns out to be a pretty silly ritual that you could get by pretty easily without, should you choose to.
To be honest, I've had about three drinks since I quit drinking.
Yeah, I know that sounds stupid. What I mean is sips and tastes.
I had an old Korean offer me a glass of whiskey a couple days after I quit and I took a sip to be polite and put it aside. Tasted a girl's cosmo at dinner (to determine what it was). Tasted an old Cambodian guy's wine - once again, to be polite.
And what happened?
Did I start frothing at the mouth or suddenly chug a whole bottle and go on some 3-day binge that left me waking up in a hospital or jail? Did I lay in bed all night lamenting the fact that I didn't hang out all night with the person getting wasted? Wondering if I should have just had two and called it a night?
Of course not. I took the sip, passed it back, and went on with my life.
I see no need to cringe hiding in a corner as if I'm going to lose my shit if it even splashes my hand, but I just don't drink anymore - it's as simple as that.
And it's liberating knowing that's 100% my own decision - that I don't need some network of born-again alkies holding me up to stay the course.
Weigh the benefits, advantages, and risks enough to come up with a clearcut decision. Has it had enough of a positive effect on your life to keep it? Has it been destructive enough to "retire?"
Simple, really.
Don't give the decision more power than it deserves. Just make it...or don't...and then move on with your life.
It's common to think that way about booze...but then again, who here wants to be like the average person? The average person can't even keep Big Macs out of their mouth.
How do they change that (should they want to be something more)?
Not through willpower - rarely works.
If you want an uncommon life, you have to look at things from an uncommon point of view. So they change it through a paradigm shift, whether intentional or not...
And that's what you've got to do.
Because when it comes down to it, not drinking is like anything else in life. You really change your mind about it - your entire perspective - and it becomes easy.
No willpower needed.
It isn't some attribute of liquor that makes giving it up hard; it's an attribute of the way you see liquor. That's a really crucial point because it puts all the power back in your hands.
You've got to sit down and have a pow-wow with yourself. If you're still clinging to a habit you want to get rid of, ask yourself why you're clinging to it. Then confront that doubt head-on and settle the issue.
Once and for all.
That way, you can walk away with all your cards on the table and get to fulfilling the decision you've made without fucking with yourself.
And once you're certain, you won't sit there and beat yourself up about social situations and this and that. You can simply accept 100% that you live by new rules and seek out creative ways to win the game based on your new rules.
Will it be challenging to adapt to a new way of doing things? Sure it will - but obviously not impossible. Other people do it so you can do it.
It's just something you need to learn.
And that attitude is a universe away from constantly looking back over your shoulder wondering if maybe you should have made a different decision.
There's nothing I find more depressing than a room full of AA members drilling into each other's head the idea that liquor has some kind of special power over them. That with just one drop they'll go all demonic and shit and that they have to check in with their people on a regular basis just to control some savage craving for a drink.
"I am an alcoholic," they repeat to themselves over and over and over....
Then they wonder why they fly off the hinges the next time a beer hits their hand...
Well, no shit, Sherlock. You've pretty much made being an alcoholic your entire identity - what did you expect?
Sit in a room with other people telling each other you're insane, and guess what? Chances are you're going to end up in a mental hospital at some point in your life.
The dominating thoughts in your mind become your reality.
So fuck all that nonsense. Booze has no power to make decisions for you - it's just a toxic substance we mix with sugar and other sweeteners because we like the way it makes us feel funny.
Only you have the power to decide whether you want to take part in that ritual or not. And when you break it down to the reality it turns out to be a pretty silly ritual that you could get by pretty easily without, should you choose to.
To be honest, I've had about three drinks since I quit drinking.
Yeah, I know that sounds stupid. What I mean is sips and tastes.
I had an old Korean offer me a glass of whiskey a couple days after I quit and I took a sip to be polite and put it aside. Tasted a girl's cosmo at dinner (to determine what it was). Tasted an old Cambodian guy's wine - once again, to be polite.
And what happened?
Did I start frothing at the mouth or suddenly chug a whole bottle and go on some 3-day binge that left me waking up in a hospital or jail? Did I lay in bed all night lamenting the fact that I didn't hang out all night with the person getting wasted? Wondering if I should have just had two and called it a night?
Of course not. I took the sip, passed it back, and went on with my life.
I see no need to cringe hiding in a corner as if I'm going to lose my shit if it even splashes my hand, but I just don't drink anymore - it's as simple as that.
And it's liberating knowing that's 100% my own decision - that I don't need some network of born-again alkies holding me up to stay the course.
Weigh the benefits, advantages, and risks enough to come up with a clearcut decision. Has it had enough of a positive effect on your life to keep it? Has it been destructive enough to "retire?"
Simple, really.
Don't give the decision more power than it deserves. Just make it...or don't...and then move on with your life.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling