Quote: (12-28-2012 06:44 PM)basilransom Wrote:
Quote: (12-28-2012 05:30 PM)theIVth Wrote:
I'm wondering about the pressing for the first date smash too. Why is it so crucial? Contrary to popular belief on here, a lot of girls are just not going to fuck you on the first night. I'm willing to bet that your obsessed desire to fuck on the first night is what's scarying them off. Just ease up and feel out the situation better. If she seems reasonably willing to smash on the same night then go for it. But if not then don't press it. Pressing makes you come off as creepy. A lot of girls have to be worked over time bro.
Only 1 out of 15 should tell you something.
Quote: (12-28-2012 11:47 AM)savvylurker Wrote:
Why do you always have to go for the SNL? Some of these girls may have banged on date 2 or 3. Also, I think you need to go back to fundamentals. You should do a venue change first before pulling them back to your place. And why not meet near their place and pull the bathroom weasel move.
I believe the opposite. Girls I meet are so flaky, with so many options, that if you don't bang them on the first date, there's a good chance you'll never see them again. They have so many competing obligations, priorities and activities that scheduling another meet within a week is not possible. And after a week, all momentum is lost. Imagine you're in a line of men, waiting to fuck this girl. When you're on a date with the girl, you're at the front of the line. Once you fuck her, the line practically doesn't exist. But with every passing day, you're further and further from the front of the line, and other guys have leaped ahead of you.
Girls would see me as a player, by virtue of my forwardness. This would get me into a rut, when I didn't bang the girl on the first date. They would not consciously go on another date with a guy they thought only wanted them for sex, UNLESS you've already fucked them, at which point they're resigned to it ("well, we've already had sex...). So if I didn't bang them but got their pussy wet, it would sometimes work against me. Sure, I didn't really 'build a connection' with these girls, I just went with the flow by flirting and escalating.
It's also very possible that for most girls, the chemistry is weak, and once you get past the initial rush from meeting a stranger, there's little attraction. But if you can bang her during that initial rush, you can keep at it for months even, whereas you wouldn't have lasted three weeks if she had a 3 date rule.
As Kenny Powers says below, and I meant to add, girls rarely punish you for being aggressive. But, if you're aggressive and there's no real chemistry, AND you don't bang on the first date, the chance of flaking is high. Either way, if there's no real chemistry and you haven't banged, odds of seeing her again are low. I talk about chemistry as if some girls are matches for you and some aren't, but it's more like some girls are just unable to form a connection with a strange man very easily.
Good advice from bodmon.
This. The second date is dead.
There's a consensus on this forum that you should always be pushing for the bang, because, if you don't get it or get real close to it, there's a good chance that you'll never see the girl again. I agree with this wholeheartedly, but it was not always this way.
For a good bit of time I had a solid two-date routine that worked very well for me. I would spend the first date (and I mean drinks, not a dinner date) being flirty and forward enough to build attraction, but with enough restraint to create the illusion that the attraction was "just happening." I got very good at alternating between escalating heavily and then pulling back and qualifying her. Those first dates would end anywhere from a hug goodbye to third base (a few ended with me getting the bang on the first night), but I never pushed things too hard.
I did this for a couple of reasons. One reason was that pushing hard on the first date is often a war of attrition, where you have to fight hard over every inch of ground and that just takes too much damn time. The other reason was that I wanted to end things on a bit of tension and not rejection. I wanted her to think of the night as ending on mutual attraction that were weren't ready to go through with yet and not her stopping me in my tracks. To hear myself write that now, it sounds like some bitch talk, but for a long time it worked. We would both show up for the second knowing what was going to happen. All I would have to do was not fuck it up. I remember one girl who I hung out with on Thursday, the night ended with a make out. I invited her to come "hang out" that Sunday and she showed up with a change of clothes for work on Monday morning.
Getting a make out at the end of the night was almost always a sure sign that you'd get a second date, but it seems like those days are over. My question is this: when did it change? When did women stop giving men a second chance? This feels very new, as in the last two or three years.
What's been you guys' experience with getting to the second date without getting the bang?
***
This is definitely a very recent development. I remember parking my game for a little while for an LTR, and coming out to a different world. Before that, I agree that if things ended in a make-out, you didn't even need to push for the bang. There was no reason to push for the bang, unless you were mad horny. There was an ease to the whole thing once you had a verified connection (a kiss, for instance). It was unheard-of to not get a second date if the first one went well. In fact, as long as you kept pushing the ball upfield, you knew you'd get another "first down." The three-date rule prevailed, and you were satisfied with a second- or third-date bang.
Nowadays, I go for the first-date bang even when I'm not that horny, with full knowledge that if I don't, I'm going to get flaked on. Even when I do score a first-date bang--and put it down like champ--I might still get flaked on.
Chicks have become dudes.
http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-15569.html