Quote: (10-29-2018 12:36 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:
Women need leadership. Leadership that I might have provided but didn't because I went the easy, hedonistic route.
Everyone needs leadership - women don't have a monopoly on this. Men need positive influences and roll models all the same. Society doesn't give us a pat on the back if we lack that, we're expected to go out and find it.
Whether we like it or not, women have agency in today's society. It's up to them to find leadership, or even better, find the self-discipline to become their own leader. We can't enforce a double standard and suggest that women are not capable of this. They are, we just give them a pass. Your girl didn't need you, she needed self-discipline, which she lacked.
Quote: (10-29-2018 12:36 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:
It could have all gone to shit regardless.
If she's a single mom already, I'm guessing it probably would have.
Quote: (10-29-2018 12:36 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:
But I can't help but think that many of the women who we end up resenting for their stupid ideas and attitudes are made by our own actions, often made in youthful ignorance, but ours all the same.
That's their choice. I know plenty of women that have stupid ideas and attitudes that grew up in a stable, two parent home.
Once you're an adult, you control who you are and what you do. Youthful ignorance serves its purpose in that it helps you make informed decisions going forward. If someone chooses not to learn from their prior mistakes (man or woman) what does it say about them?
Quote: (10-29-2018 12:36 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:
It pains me to think of that sweet, innocent girl so full of trust and intelligence, ready to give her whole life to a worthy man, having become a proud victim. If anything, it's not the patriarchy that failed her, but the utter lack of it.
No, she failed herself. Poor decision making is independent of the patriarchy. There are plenty of women that don't go out and get pregnant right away and become single moms. While I agree that having good guidance in place makes it easier to not make mistakes, your EX had the choice and she made it.
Quote: (10-29-2018 12:36 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:
The same was the case with my last girlfriend. She wasn't super bright but she
Obviously you can't go wifing up every girl to "save" her from becoming a jaded carousel rider or a card carrying feminist. But seeing an angel fall is something that can't be unseen...
Too true, I've seen it and it is really eye opening. I hear you man, it's not pretty. But be thankful you avoided it, and she's not your wife. That initially sweet, feminine girl could be your worst nightmare right now, on top of being your responsibility.
Don't beat yourself up my man, if anything you were the one who dodged the bullet. All you can do now is do the best job you can with the women you meet going forward and leave them a little bit better than when you found them.