IMO your drunk buddies killed your shot with the bartender. She would've easily lumped you into their "beta" status. If you're a regular there, you played it safe so far, show up next time solo, and basically point out to her in a somewhat of an apologetic way (without saying sorry) that your buddies from the night before were mad wasted and that you felt they were being "creepy" to her, staring her up and down, etc.
From my experience, this could show her that you're not that kind of guy, gets outta control drunk and becomes a creeper/beta, you have better standards/class.
Also what worked for me the best with bartenders/strippers is the ability to RELATE to them, meaning that i would mention for e.g that i work as a waiter or at a starbucks to get myself into law school.
OR you can say that you have a best friend who is a female, and bartends at XYZ, but she's doing it to support her 2 year old daughter, as the father left without any traces of him, and she relies on you for emotional support/ blah blah blah.
Maybe she's on the same boat, working part-time/studying OR maybe in a similar situation the fake friend/daughter story.
Also, I've found that, the more humble i was (i.e not demonstrating high value a lot), the better the interaction would go with such workers.
From my experience, this could show her that you're not that kind of guy, gets outta control drunk and becomes a creeper/beta, you have better standards/class.
Also what worked for me the best with bartenders/strippers is the ability to RELATE to them, meaning that i would mention for e.g that i work as a waiter or at a starbucks to get myself into law school.
OR you can say that you have a best friend who is a female, and bartends at XYZ, but she's doing it to support her 2 year old daughter, as the father left without any traces of him, and she relies on you for emotional support/ blah blah blah.
Maybe she's on the same boat, working part-time/studying OR maybe in a similar situation the fake friend/daughter story.
Also, I've found that, the more humble i was (i.e not demonstrating high value a lot), the better the interaction would go with such workers.