Quote: (07-10-2018 02:41 PM)Realbor Wrote:
Quote: (07-10-2018 02:30 PM)jamaicabound Wrote:
I was about 29 around the time I finally slowly started getting my life together. I was living at home with my folks, was unemployed and between jobs, really had no passions, no direction, etc.
Here's one thing to keep in mind, very few if any of your friends have it figured out or feel confident in what they are doing, everyone feels clueless, even those a bit ahead of you in life.
I was basically where you are at your same age and fast forward about 5 years and I have a business doing over 3 million per year in sales, bought a new house, and overall thigns are going pretty good. Not saying you have to wait 5 years either, things slowly over time started improving and kept getting better.
here's the tough part. Right now you feel like shit and therefore probably don't wanna do shit, you don't feel confident, your waiting for the motivation. You can't wait for motivation to feel inspired, you have to get out there and start doing shit even though you dont want to and that's where the motivation will start to happen.
The sooner you start doing stuff slowly your life will start improving, things will start getting better, you'll feel more motivated and self confident, etc.
I would think about things in terms of health ie physical and mental, friends and family or relationships, career and finance. Do something small each day to improve in each of those areas and occasionally grade yourself and see if one area is suffering.
Set a small achievable goal whether it be 30 minutes at the gym, a set of calastetics, start a youtube channel or blog, make plans with a friend or join a meetup group, etc.
Very thankful for this post. Yes, thats absolutely correct, things feel like shit and I dont even know where to start. I know that Im gon move in a little less than 2 months, I have apartment in the new town fixed and all that.
I workout alot, 5 times a week, also lots of cardio, so thats taken care of.
I hate the feeling coming home to an empty quiet apartment every day after work, literally no one who talk with, feel very lonely and miserable, that is probably the key thing which is fucking up my overall self esteem and drive to do anything at all, thoughts like: "whats even the point?" come frequently.
Watching some of the dudes I grew up with on facebook .. holy shit, one bought a house, a very nice car, got a baby on the way, large social circle, friends everywhere.
The differences between life quality of people is just insane. Imagine having friends who talk with you all day, cheer you on, positive reinforcement, just as I had 10 years ago, life gets much more colorful.
Rambling again, but yeah, thanks alot for your post, It gives me a little bit of hope atleast.
Hey brother, you could be a lot worse off, your still working out which is awesome and means your not at total rock bottom. That's also going to make you happier, get the blood pumping and endorphins going and all that.
As far as the Facebook thing close your fucking facebook account today, I'm serious. Facebook is a huge reason so many people are depressed and unhappy with their lives. I know so many people who post stuff on Facebook like they live this amazing life and they are fucking miserable. I know a couple who's always posting about how in love they are, I know them, they fucking hate each other and the guy hates his life. Facebook is an illusion, people put the highlights of their life, few if any people are actually living those lives and even those who are have down moments like the rest of us but they don't show those on Facebook. Facebook is a cancer it really is, it makes you compare yourself to others lives which aren't even real and then feel shit about yourself because your not living that life. I know a guy who always posts his BMW on Facebook he's got an $800 car payment and the fucking car is gonna get repoed, its all bullshit man for real.
As far as comming home to an empty house, I'm in a relationship at the moment, well kinda sorta my gf literally packed up her stuff and pulled away about 5 minutes ago so we'll see. While I love her and we were great friends, in many ways its my fucking dream to come home to an empty house. I don't have to cook anyone dinner, I can go workout, work on my business, go to a bar, go on a date. I get being alone can be lonely but you also have all the freedom in the world. I'm guessing many of those facebook friends with families envy your life.
If you are lonely join a meetup group, there's meetups for everything. You like sailing go meetup with some guys who like sailing, you like crypto go to a crypto meetup. It's hard to make friends as you get older and you find that you either lose touch with or don't have a connection with older high school friends, a meetup its easy and comfortable to meet people because you both have something in common so conversation is easy and you have something you guys can do together as opposed to these really forced friendships that most of us have.
Couple other things just to change your mindset. Every night write down a couple things your grateful for and a couple things your looking forward to. Perspective is also improtant imho. This is kinda morbid but when your sad about comming home to your rented nice apartment with food in the fridge an xbox and whatever other stuff you have realize someone is digging through garbage for dinner, someone is being sold into the sex trade, someone in poverty is being sold into slavery in syria its hard to have a pity party when you think about that stuff.
It's easy to fall into self doubt and being kinda depressed and it's a vicious circle becaues you feel like shit so you do nothing and that makes you feel more like shit so you do even less and that cycle just continues. I find myself somewhat falling back into that even though I'm doing fairly well for myself but just gotta keep pressing forward and doing things and trying to control the thoughts in your head and focus on the positive and push away the negative