You read a lot about this on the internet. The narrative is basically that a guy basically orbits around a chick for awhile, tries to make a move, and then she says "I only see you as a friend." Then the guy gets all sad that he's been "friend zoned" and turns to pickup artistry.
This is a retarded feminist comic on the subject, which basically explains in small words how even feminists hate betas, but they have no problem leading them on and using them as emotional tampons -
https://imgur.com/gallery/RmAjE
Well, I have some good news for you. Here is the reality - there is no "friend zone."
Bit of background, my very first girlfriend after leaving my wife was very hot and cold. I was very worried that I was falling into the "friend zone" with her, because some nights she wanted to bang, some nights she just wanted to talk on the phone. She would sometimes say stuff like "Maybe we should just be friends."
What the hell did that mean? What's her game plan? What am I doing wrong? How can I make her see me as a lover and not as a friend?
I spent many nights trying to learn techniques to "avoid" or "get out of" the "friend zone."
Years later, these are my musings on the dreaded "friend zone"...
- It's not "wrong" to have female friends, despite what you've read on the internet. I have many female friends who usually say nice things about me to their roommates and other female friends. ("Hank would be the perfect boyfriend if he didn't have that one screw loose..." True quote from last week). I've met many FWBs through my female friends. Having female friends who respect you actually helps you get laid, and bring new girls into your social circle. Shit, two of my ex's hang out together, and I introduced them. I still even bang one of them.
Key: None of my relationships with females are outcome dependent.
- Don't get too invested into women you haven't banged. You don't need to be rude or cold, but if you're spending every waking minute wondering how to respond to her text messages, watching her dog, and driving her to the airport, that's a problem. If you're hoping a relationship is outcome dependent, that will kill it. Treat her like you would your male friends.
- Yes, you can bang your female friends, but don't befriend them to bang them. I have banged many of my female friends after being friends for awhile. We hung out, they got to know me, and then one night they're naked. Some of my female friends I've banged, some of them I haven't. I maintain a level of friendship with all my FWBs - two all actually bought me Christmas presents this year.
- A no today might be a yes tomorrow. I have found that I have a personality that tends to grow on women. At first it's usually "who does this short motherfucker think he is" to later "Hank is the coolest man in my life, now it makes sense why he bangs so many hot chicks." I just let stuff play out, and I don't worry about the outcome. We're friends, we're FWBs, we're something in between, whatever. I'll do me, and if you want to be a part of it, you know how to get in touch.
- Do not pull the "we're not friends" line. Trust me, I've done it, and it's exploded in my face every time. If she refers to you as a "friend" just ignore it.
"You're such a good friend, Hank!"
"Yet I'm such a bad person."
"No you're not! You just pretend to be!"
"...would you be willing to say that to a judge next week?"
Pulling the whole "we're not friends" line just makes you come off like an emotional whiner. Always keep everything light.
- Obviously, it's a bad idea to befriend a girl solely for the purpose of banging her. Common mantra applies that she either sees you as a boyfriend, or a girlfriend.
"Hank, my boyfriend did XYZ!"
"Sorry to hear. He sounds like a jerkoff. But I'm on the other line and I really don't have time to talk about this."
"Can you pick me up from the airport tomorrow?"
"If only there were some app on your phone where a driver would come to your location and pick you up, and then drop you off where you need to go... some type of car service..."
"But Haaaank!"
"But Juuudy! I really need to get back on the other line. I'll be around for drinks next week though. Your boyfriend can buy."
- Nothing bad will happen if you try and make a move on one of your female friends. Just don't get weird about it if she rejects you, or "unfriend" her. It's usually best to do it as early as possible into the relationship, though. If you've been orbiting around her for six months acting like her pseudo-boyfriend, she might get weird about it. However, if you make a move early in the relationship and she rejects you, just laugh it off.
In any event, this is my point. It's more in younger guys, the "friend zone" issue is men (a) get too invested into one girl; (b) men who aren't willing to play long game; © men get too sad after a rejection, as though its permanent or meaningful.
If you feel like you're in the "friend zone", this is what you do:
1. Don't tell her you don't want to be her friend anymore. She might even send other women your way. Just let the relationship be what it is. There are other women out there.
2. That said, do not make a huge emotional or financial investment into the friendship. Treat her like you would any of your other friends. Sometimes you take her call, sometimes you're busy. Do not be a substitute boyfriend. She can figure out how to Uber to the airport, and she can hire someone to watch her dog. Unless you feel like doing these things, but understand that they won't get you laid. Do you take your male friends out to dinner and pay for it? Fuck no. But if you enjoy her company, by all means, hang out with her. I have many female friends who I simply want to hang out with and bat ideas off of.
3. Don't obsess about getting "out" of the friend zone. Just go do you. You'd be amazed at how many girls are like "Hank, I see you like a big brother" and then a month later are naked in my bed. Do not empower her to even create such as thing as a "friend zone."
4. Understand that women say a bunch of shit, and it often varies based on their mood, ovulation cycle, and what they've had for breakfast that morning. If she says something that sounds like she's "friend zoning" you, don't listen, don't even respond. Women will tell you you're a "like a big brother" and then two hours later be screaming "you're so hard, daddy!" What comes out of their mouth is completely inconsequential. They don't have some huge game plan, and there is no deeper meaning to any of it. Their minds change all the time. Trying to reason with a hamster wheel is pointless.
5. Do not ever, ever, ever question the "status" of your relationship or ask her what she thinks of you. That puts all the power in her hands. You tell her what you're thinking, and what you want. Otherwise, it gives her the power of making the decision. You make the decision.
You most certainly do not talk about it, as it gives her too much time to rationalize. Just do it.
Bottom line - the "friend zone" is all in your head. Some women will be attracted to you, some won't. That's the nature of the game. Personally, I don't like tall girls or fat girls sexually, but it doesn't mean we can't be friends. At the same time, if a tall or fat girl orbits around me, it also doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to be attracted to them. I like what i like, and a lot of it is physical.
Don't get too overly invested in women who you aren't banging, and remember that a no today might be a yes tomorrow.
This is a retarded feminist comic on the subject, which basically explains in small words how even feminists hate betas, but they have no problem leading them on and using them as emotional tampons -
https://imgur.com/gallery/RmAjE
Well, I have some good news for you. Here is the reality - there is no "friend zone."
Bit of background, my very first girlfriend after leaving my wife was very hot and cold. I was very worried that I was falling into the "friend zone" with her, because some nights she wanted to bang, some nights she just wanted to talk on the phone. She would sometimes say stuff like "Maybe we should just be friends."
What the hell did that mean? What's her game plan? What am I doing wrong? How can I make her see me as a lover and not as a friend?
I spent many nights trying to learn techniques to "avoid" or "get out of" the "friend zone."
Years later, these are my musings on the dreaded "friend zone"...
- It's not "wrong" to have female friends, despite what you've read on the internet. I have many female friends who usually say nice things about me to their roommates and other female friends. ("Hank would be the perfect boyfriend if he didn't have that one screw loose..." True quote from last week). I've met many FWBs through my female friends. Having female friends who respect you actually helps you get laid, and bring new girls into your social circle. Shit, two of my ex's hang out together, and I introduced them. I still even bang one of them.
Key: None of my relationships with females are outcome dependent.
- Don't get too invested into women you haven't banged. You don't need to be rude or cold, but if you're spending every waking minute wondering how to respond to her text messages, watching her dog, and driving her to the airport, that's a problem. If you're hoping a relationship is outcome dependent, that will kill it. Treat her like you would your male friends.
- Yes, you can bang your female friends, but don't befriend them to bang them. I have banged many of my female friends after being friends for awhile. We hung out, they got to know me, and then one night they're naked. Some of my female friends I've banged, some of them I haven't. I maintain a level of friendship with all my FWBs - two all actually bought me Christmas presents this year.
- A no today might be a yes tomorrow. I have found that I have a personality that tends to grow on women. At first it's usually "who does this short motherfucker think he is" to later "Hank is the coolest man in my life, now it makes sense why he bangs so many hot chicks." I just let stuff play out, and I don't worry about the outcome. We're friends, we're FWBs, we're something in between, whatever. I'll do me, and if you want to be a part of it, you know how to get in touch.
- Do not pull the "we're not friends" line. Trust me, I've done it, and it's exploded in my face every time. If she refers to you as a "friend" just ignore it.
"You're such a good friend, Hank!"
"Yet I'm such a bad person."
"No you're not! You just pretend to be!"
"...would you be willing to say that to a judge next week?"
Pulling the whole "we're not friends" line just makes you come off like an emotional whiner. Always keep everything light.
- Obviously, it's a bad idea to befriend a girl solely for the purpose of banging her. Common mantra applies that she either sees you as a boyfriend, or a girlfriend.
"Hank, my boyfriend did XYZ!"
"Sorry to hear. He sounds like a jerkoff. But I'm on the other line and I really don't have time to talk about this."
"Can you pick me up from the airport tomorrow?"
"If only there were some app on your phone where a driver would come to your location and pick you up, and then drop you off where you need to go... some type of car service..."
"But Haaaank!"
"But Juuudy! I really need to get back on the other line. I'll be around for drinks next week though. Your boyfriend can buy."
- Nothing bad will happen if you try and make a move on one of your female friends. Just don't get weird about it if she rejects you, or "unfriend" her. It's usually best to do it as early as possible into the relationship, though. If you've been orbiting around her for six months acting like her pseudo-boyfriend, she might get weird about it. However, if you make a move early in the relationship and she rejects you, just laugh it off.
In any event, this is my point. It's more in younger guys, the "friend zone" issue is men (a) get too invested into one girl; (b) men who aren't willing to play long game; © men get too sad after a rejection, as though its permanent or meaningful.
If you feel like you're in the "friend zone", this is what you do:
1. Don't tell her you don't want to be her friend anymore. She might even send other women your way. Just let the relationship be what it is. There are other women out there.
2. That said, do not make a huge emotional or financial investment into the friendship. Treat her like you would any of your other friends. Sometimes you take her call, sometimes you're busy. Do not be a substitute boyfriend. She can figure out how to Uber to the airport, and she can hire someone to watch her dog. Unless you feel like doing these things, but understand that they won't get you laid. Do you take your male friends out to dinner and pay for it? Fuck no. But if you enjoy her company, by all means, hang out with her. I have many female friends who I simply want to hang out with and bat ideas off of.
3. Don't obsess about getting "out" of the friend zone. Just go do you. You'd be amazed at how many girls are like "Hank, I see you like a big brother" and then a month later are naked in my bed. Do not empower her to even create such as thing as a "friend zone."
4. Understand that women say a bunch of shit, and it often varies based on their mood, ovulation cycle, and what they've had for breakfast that morning. If she says something that sounds like she's "friend zoning" you, don't listen, don't even respond. Women will tell you you're a "like a big brother" and then two hours later be screaming "you're so hard, daddy!" What comes out of their mouth is completely inconsequential. They don't have some huge game plan, and there is no deeper meaning to any of it. Their minds change all the time. Trying to reason with a hamster wheel is pointless.
5. Do not ever, ever, ever question the "status" of your relationship or ask her what she thinks of you. That puts all the power in her hands. You tell her what you're thinking, and what you want. Otherwise, it gives her the power of making the decision. You make the decision.
You most certainly do not talk about it, as it gives her too much time to rationalize. Just do it.
Bottom line - the "friend zone" is all in your head. Some women will be attracted to you, some won't. That's the nature of the game. Personally, I don't like tall girls or fat girls sexually, but it doesn't mean we can't be friends. At the same time, if a tall or fat girl orbits around me, it also doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to be attracted to them. I like what i like, and a lot of it is physical.
Don't get too overly invested in women who you aren't banging, and remember that a no today might be a yes tomorrow.