Thanks for that reply mountain man. I was still very curious how to tackle that situation.
I had one opener today and I don't know why I wasted it on who I did. I got bored out of my mind at work and decided to go down to a coffeeshop to decompress a little. While in line there was a petite woman in front with these eyes that were seriously hypnotizing that looked back at me twice. I assumed it was a ioi and considered opening her after I bought my drink, but she walked off to the bathroom.
Now for some unbelievably stupid reason, I decided to open another woman sitting down eating instead of waiting around for the other one. Since the area for getting sugar and stuff was near where the woman was sitting, I simply got my drink, grabbed some sugar, and then said hey, asked how she's doing, and then made a remark about what she was eating. She then told me how good the food was.
After that, I decided to sit down next to her. I looked through a magazine a little and then reopened her. I asked if she was on break too and she said yea and then I remarked how late she was eating. After that, she told me how she has to do it like this because of work and then I got her to tell me a little bit about what she does and the interesting people she sees and then we spoke about sports a little. I then dropped some bait about travelling around and she kind of bit, but I felt like she really wasn't interested in continuing the conversation.
Eventually, I decided I had to get back to work. I was going to ask for the number, but then I realized she had a silver ring on her ring finger and abruptly decided against it. Total waste.
I dunno why I wasted my time on this chick instead of the other, but hopefully this'll be my reminder not to do something this stupid again.
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I've noticed the only thing that gets me in a better mood to approach is by accomplishing other social challenges.
For example, I can say simple greetings all day, but I notice I still stress when I consider actually talking about stuff with women at my job and other male employees I don't know well. So, today, I forced myself to have more fleshed out conversations with women around my job. I then noticed that when I went out to approach, I felt more "on".
It's necessary to do a social challenge that makes me feel a little bit below moderately nervous though. I used to think I could get by when socially warming up by just opening super easy targets (dudes, really old women), but it doesn't really work. Thus, these targets make me only very mildly nervous and they don't give me that tinge of reassurance that I can go up and make a conversation with a woman work.
It's an interesting realization. There really is no way to feel that momentum build, without legitimately challenging myself.
I had one opener today and I don't know why I wasted it on who I did. I got bored out of my mind at work and decided to go down to a coffeeshop to decompress a little. While in line there was a petite woman in front with these eyes that were seriously hypnotizing that looked back at me twice. I assumed it was a ioi and considered opening her after I bought my drink, but she walked off to the bathroom.
Now for some unbelievably stupid reason, I decided to open another woman sitting down eating instead of waiting around for the other one. Since the area for getting sugar and stuff was near where the woman was sitting, I simply got my drink, grabbed some sugar, and then said hey, asked how she's doing, and then made a remark about what she was eating. She then told me how good the food was.
After that, I decided to sit down next to her. I looked through a magazine a little and then reopened her. I asked if she was on break too and she said yea and then I remarked how late she was eating. After that, she told me how she has to do it like this because of work and then I got her to tell me a little bit about what she does and the interesting people she sees and then we spoke about sports a little. I then dropped some bait about travelling around and she kind of bit, but I felt like she really wasn't interested in continuing the conversation.
Eventually, I decided I had to get back to work. I was going to ask for the number, but then I realized she had a silver ring on her ring finger and abruptly decided against it. Total waste.
I dunno why I wasted my time on this chick instead of the other, but hopefully this'll be my reminder not to do something this stupid again.
----------
I've noticed the only thing that gets me in a better mood to approach is by accomplishing other social challenges.
For example, I can say simple greetings all day, but I notice I still stress when I consider actually talking about stuff with women at my job and other male employees I don't know well. So, today, I forced myself to have more fleshed out conversations with women around my job. I then noticed that when I went out to approach, I felt more "on".
It's necessary to do a social challenge that makes me feel a little bit below moderately nervous though. I used to think I could get by when socially warming up by just opening super easy targets (dudes, really old women), but it doesn't really work. Thus, these targets make me only very mildly nervous and they don't give me that tinge of reassurance that I can go up and make a conversation with a woman work.
It's an interesting realization. There really is no way to feel that momentum build, without legitimately challenging myself.