Quote: (07-30-2017 12:29 AM)Nick98 Wrote:
Quote: (07-29-2017 03:18 PM)Imperator.Morpheus Wrote:
I am very rusty as far as experience goes with women (long story, been years, sadly to say, was in a situation where I was isolated and away from society at large, which has taken a lot of my confidence away, naturally).
I think (from my very little experience) is there is no much you could do about it here.You said it by yourself you were isolated and away from society , And haven't put much work on yourself , interacting with more women, instead you gave up. And i think that this is the result of the less work you put on yourself.Your past experiences is affecting you and reflects on your acts, And with the lack of socializing you cant pull her and reflects on her acts 'naturally'. It will come up as a task for you. I say take this as a lesson to deal with more women in the future, step up your game and forget your past instead of over analyzing everything.Other than that I think you could just stick to lines, and if she's genuinely interested you will have a chance.
This place at which I work is the first place I've been where I've really been around "normal" people. Without going into all the details. These are the first "normal" young people I've been around since the year 2012. Seriously. Ironically, I'm surrounded by young and attractive women. Nature of the job (a restaurant centered around good looking girl waitresses). Lucky me, right? The real curse, for me, has been the fact the majority of them are attracted to me. I command respect among all the fellow males who work there. They are all intimidated by me. I'm older than them and also fit, with a decent muscular frame. I've had several of the women giving me "signals" from the very beginning. Unable to refrain from staring at me, making eye contact with me, etc. The most very basic female "invitations," if that makes sense.
At one point (a few weeks ago), one of the girls, the one I want(ed) more than any other (the only one I really ever wanted, tbh), went home and watched a damn movie in which an actor they all said resembled me after I teased her very well (dominantly told her she must call me "Sir" in order to do her a favor, which she absolutely ate up). She told me it was the first time she had watched it. She was sending me signals left and right. She pressed her body up against mine for a prolonged period of time when we were faux feuding over getting in each other's ways. I waited too long before trying to pull (at one point, I had told her "do I have to put you in your place again!?" To which she replied, "you never put me in my place. I wish you would." I foolishly told her, "I know, you're high drama, high maintenance, trouble..." effectively rejected her like that, so stupid, I know).
By the time I did try to pull (I went in off shift & told her she's "beautiful," also told her she has her "head up her own ass" and then she walked off on me, lol, bailed on me. Afterwards, the next few days @ work, I didn't attempt anything further, she was obviously waiting to see if I'd proceed or not, but @ work it's so fucking awkward, always busy, and there's the "sexual harassment" issue, and my anxiety is absolutely through the fucking roof! I am unbelievably anxious when I'm on shift, sooo many distractions, loud music, other people all around me to interrupt and distract the girls, etc). So, she had already grown cold. I am going to attempt one more thing with that girl (if I have an opportunity). I don't expect to succeed, tbh, but, I do like the girl. All I can really do is try, force myself to try, and be willing to fail (humiliating myself in the process, but I kept my head high after she rejected me, took extra care to avoid letting her see I was "butt hurt," which I naturally was).
All things considered, I've done amazingly well considering where I am coming from in my life; it's as though I went from never talking to young attractive women for 5 years and all of a sudden I was surrounded by them, which is literally what happened with me). I make them all laugh, etc. They have mostly come around to like me on one level; but yes, key "ingredients" are missing in our interactions. I intimidate them (I've followed Roissy's/Heartiste's advice to be an asshole whenever you don't know what else to say, trying to be the "sexy" or "right" kind of asshole, it certainly works, but I have obviously overdone it wherein they just put up their "automatic rejection shields." I have taken note and am trying to modify my behavior accordingly, trial and error).
The mere fact I've had a prolonged dry spell paradoxically has kept me from having the confidence required when I need to show it. I'm always trying to play catch up, by which time the girls' emotional states have changed days later (learned that a few days ago from Julien Blanc, but it's obviously also common sense). I've forced myself to at least make moves, ask for numbers, etc. Before this job, I didn't even try doing that. I am also very picky, perhaps foolishly. I've ignored and straight up turned down the women I am not interested in (beyond fucking). Told them they're not my type and meant it, etc. Sounds insane, I am sure, amidst a years long dry spell and I am rejecting attractive women who are interested in being fucked by me; but, it's how I am, my nature. A big part of me wishes it were not. I've always been that way, to only to go for women who I feel some sort of connection to (who are also pretty). I sound like a chick, don't I?
What sucks so badly is being aware they find me attractive but being unable to "translate" that into real interest or a true relationship outside of work. It's truly almost worse than being found to be completely repulsive by women. So close, yet so far away.
As far as going for more women in general, I damn well would love to. Problem is, I am always working and in school. I don't have free time. And anyhow, I don't have a true social network. Moved back here a few months ago and jumped into this stuff, and this cycle came about. Excuses? Absolutely. I've forced myself to do activities I previously never did. It's hard, naturally. Consequences for my choices in life, which I do not regret. I've never backed down from a challenge in my life, and this is a challenge which I damned well will overcome. It seems it's going to be a long struggle though.
Anyhow, to give an update; the girl in question has given me the cold shoulder, it seems. I saw her @ work last night. She seemed somewhat irritated by me. I think her "automatic rejection" shield has gone up. I asked her if she'd like to hang out, noting I only have 3 days before leaving for a vacation (after which we will likely never see one another again, she's going off for college out of town). I don't view it as a big loss, at all. She's attractive, but there was never any chemistry insofar as our personal interactions. We simply do not "click." She doesn't appreciate my sense of humor, which is usually the most potent of my weapons in my "seduction arsenal," when it's actually functioning (heh, see what I mean? Gotta laugh, or cry, I'd rather laugh). She works two jobs, so she's also always busy herself. She claimed (whether we hang out) will depend on her schedule, so I took that as an outright polite excuse/rejection.
I am at the point where I either am going to nab the girl who I've always really liked or simply get fired in trying to do so. It's foolish, I know. This has always been a joke short-term job for me though. One way or another, I'm only going to be there for another month or two maximum. "Never err on the side of too much boldness," Roissy/Heartiste. That is my intention and plan. Thank you so very much, Nick98. Sincerely. I don't really have anywhere I else I can go to say these things. No one to "vent" this stuff to in my life. This whole "sexual market" is something I absolutely hate, personally. I've always hated it. For all the women to effectively be whores. Whores only good for sex. Nothing more. Walking.talking.breathing.blow.up.dolls, imo. Back when I first interacted with women, I was successful, very successful. Once I was in my first relationship @ age 14, to a wonderful girl who I became "oneitis'd" to, she was absolutely psychotically in love with me. Asked me to take her virginity after a mere 3 weeks of talking. Loved showing me off to her friends. They told me she was "obsessed" with me, and she was. All of her girlfriend friends were chasing after me. Hunting me, tbh. They ate me up. I was that "fun, interesting, cool, fascinating" man for a whole clique of girls, most of them attractive. It was blissful.
That relationship wound up imploding @ the hands of two of that girlfriend's friends who were also in love with me (well, I allowed it to happen, totally inexperienced, was just winging it, putting up a front). One of those girls set up an (innocent on my end, nothing happened) meeting; and went and implied something had happened to my girlfriend. My girlfriend stopped talking to me. I wound up with the chick who set up that meeting as a rebound relationship. She was a smoking hott blonde, an 8 out of 10. Pretty face, nice tight body. I never liked her though, we didn't click @ all. She was just a play toy, and I treated her accordingly, so she was always chasing me, trying to win me over. Long story short, she asked me to give her a child after 4 months together, she came up with the names of our (still unborn) children. I dumped her afterwards, terrified of fucking her for fear she'd set me up (which she damn well would have knowing her). She was a borderline personality disorder girl, literally (with hindsight, they're probably the best type of girls to go after, they're less likely to divorce rape you if you're foolish enough to get legally married in this (((Matriarchy)))).
She refused to let go of me and literally stalked me for approximately 10 years. She didn't hide in my bushes or anything of "that" nature of stalking. She would befriend my girlfriend-friends and start hanging out with them, spreading rumors about me, trying to get my attention. She fucked several of my male "friends," all while wanting me to take her back. It never ended. She wouldn't leave me alone. I wound up [b]letting it affect me for the worst. I changed my demeanor with women afterwards. I became outright beta-ized. I became so repulsed by the nature of women being only good for sex, whores/this "sexual market," I simply gave up, boycotted them. Strung out on drugs for over a decade. That crazy ex-girlfriend stalker experience had a huge, huge impact on me psychologically and emotionally. My own ability to attract women had scared the fuck out of me. Well, it got the better of me, for a good bit of time. Discovered game about 4 years ago, I've made a goal & been working ever since to "regain" where I "was" insofar as my interactions with women/ability to attract them as I was back then (except I wasn't actually around women until a few months ago), only in a better, consciously-aware sense. It's not been easy, as you gather. I always had wished for one good woman to have for myself this whole time rather than (((this))), personally.
Most of you guys here only give a fuck about the "bang," same as I only cared about drugs when I was drugging. To each his own. Well, I wanted something a little bit more. Just a little bit, not a Disney movie relationship, but a nice solid one with a solid woman who would bond to me and me alone. I am thankful you guys are around for advice/insights/etc. All of this nonetheless has to be put to a stop! All of this "banging" is simply destroying our women. For the well-being of society. For civilization itself. It's going to come to a screeching end sooner or later. Either at our hands or the Muslims. No Matriarchy will ever persist. Marriage as an institution must be restored to it's properly functioning status. That's my politically-tinged rant, agree or disagree.
Best of luck to you, Nick98. It's not easy for all of us to navigate through this dystopia. Take care.