[rafaeld]

(02-06-2017 12:29 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

Game is not a learned skill, it's an experienced skill. It's learned by experience and the ironic thing about it is that the more you learn, the more you realize all the shit you learned in the past was actually pointless to begin with. Snarky comebacks, beings funny -- is an example of this. You don't need to learn this. The guys who are successful at doing this are guys who are just living in their personality and developed their game around it and therefore it isn't a show, rather it's real.

...

Game is nothing more than this:
1. Show up as man who isn't putting on some sort of show; be masculine and confident.
2. Communicate though your process that you like the girl (direct, indirect, funny, serious, eye contact, touch, shit you could read her a poem if you want, doesn't matter)
3. Invite her to make a memory with you.
4. Repeat

Super helpful man. Thanks.

Attraction and confidence will always be the hidden variables. The rest is just noise.

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And remember, men are on earth to be self-reliant and women are here to establish social relationships. Never forget that when you're trying to be the social butterfly at a club.

Something I have always known but get frustrated because it seems like the more "feminine" socialite men have an easier time getting laid.

(02-06-2017 02:30 PM)questor70 Wrote:  

You can try to force yourself to open up in groups, but it doesn't sound like you're ever going to dominate such situations, and with a notch count of 40, it doesn't seem like you really need to.

Well, we can always aim for higher quality notches . And anyway I like having fun in social situations, I want to be able to relax and shoot the shit more.

(02-06-2017 04:47 PM)XXL Wrote:  

The whole point is to let loose, enjoy being silly and have some laughter. Your mind sends you nothing because you're searching for a meaning of it all and you want to contribute some valuable information to the conversation. It's killing the vibe. Logic kills fun.

It's like people talk shit about some weird car and you tell them what it is made of and its capabilities. They're pumping their state with bullshit and throw logic into it. It snips that fun vibe. Different example, a chicks is fantasizing that she wanna have such big bathroom she could play baseball in [so total nonsense] and you tell her that big bathroom is waste of space because in the house because according to modern architecture trends it should be this and that. You kill that fun she was having talking shit with some dry facts and logic.

Get it?

Yes! Dude this makes so much sense and I never had anyone spell it out like this before. Why da fuck does nobody teach these things.

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You're right, there is some angle that you miss. People come up with those silly lines and jokes to contribute more fun to the conversation. It can be totally stupid but as long as it's funny to everybody it's good.

Imagine a fireplace. In order to keep it alive and burning you have to throw something to it to burn and keep you warm. It's the same with those fun idiotic conversations about nothing. People talk shit and throw their jokes and lines to the mix to keep that fun vibe alive. Sometimes they say some random stuff about random things and it's cool. Sometimes they start busting each others balls cause cause it's funny to see who comes up with better and funnier thing to say, who cracks under pressure and gets owned, who is more spontaneous, etc.

I love this metaphor. I made a note of it and will remember it for sure next time I am in a group of people or one-on-one shooting the shit.

"Feed the fire with sparks and wood"

Another metaphor I came up with from reading this is to be the stone that skims on the surface of the social "water", not the rock that plows into it (difference between light-hearted fun nonsense conversation and diving deep into the logic conversation).

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If I freestyle then I might take something she's wearing and use that to describe how I broke up with my last GF over the fact that she liked to wear the same thing [I just made it up on the spot as I'm writing it]. It's engaging cause I address something that THIS girl in front of wears [her favorite topic in the world is HERSELF], I misinterpret it in a way that she's not expecting so she wants to correct me or is curious why I'm saying what I'm saying, it gives her more topics to touch upon, etc.

Great example, really helps illustrate the "sparks to the fire" concept.

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You can't convey cool things about you because you probably try to exchange information. You want to lead with content itself. Thing is, the content itself is not as important as you make it so with the way you talk about. It's the whole HOW YOU SAY IT thing. This is veeery broad topic.

I get what you're saying but not a clue how to change "how I say it".

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I dare you to hang out with a quick witted guy. You will notice how much of his wit and verbal game is scripted shit or stuff based on the same patterns. It's quite a lot. But to others who don't spend a lot of time with him don't know that so they are under big impression almost every time they speak to him.

I have a friend like this. His life is a complete mess but he is HILARIOUS, the one-liners he comes out with you wouldn't believe. One time he started a fight in a club and got carried outside by a bouncer (he's short and skinny) meanwhile he's yelling at the guy "I'll fight all of you, you couldn't bounce a f--king basketball mate" ?.

(02-06-2017 05:53 PM)XXL Wrote:  

OP, since you're analytical type of a guy I can write a lot more about it from technical standpoint so that you can have some structure to start with. I've guessing that "just show up and be cool bro" type of advice doesn't tell you shit.

It's true that there is nothing magic about it but there are tips and tricks that actually help to get the ball rolling no question about it.

Go ahead man, I'm sure other people would be interested to read that too.

(02-07-2017 07:36 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

... I could give you MY structure that I developed for myself, but it might not work for you. You might not even remember it. It's best if you created your own structure -- it doesn't have to be perfect. Just something that YOU can remember and adapt easily. Then tweak it over time based on your experience, both successes and failures.

That's pretty much what I've been doing. As I said 1-on-1 I'm fine, it's only in group situations I get quiet without much to say.

But the advice in this thread has helped tremendously, I will definitely implement it.