Rafaeld, you sound a LOT like me and I have Asperger Syndrome. Get yourself evaluated for this ASAP.
Quote: (02-05-2017 10:20 AM)rafaeld Wrote:
I've been in this game for four years, in that I've been serious about getting laid for that long.
During that time I've fucked about 40 girls and had two Ltrs one for two years and one for 8 months which I guess you might call successful. Some of these were from cold approach and some from online.
But I'm still not seeing the quality that I think I should be getting. I still feel like there is some major piece of the social puzzle that I am missing. More than just gaming women, this happens to me in other social situations as well.
I am a logical person with a direct mind and a direct way of thinking about things. This makes me fucking great at my job (software engineer) but apparently is a total handicap in game.
And after all this time and probably over a thousand cold approaches, I am still not getting it. I find it impossible to contribute much in a social situations where people are just relaxing and talking shit. My mind is screaming at me all the time "ok but what's the point?" They're all laughing and making wisecracks and saying funny stuff, I want to do that but it's like my mind just sends me nothing. So I come across like a quiet person and this is definitely a problem for getting laid. Women will say something to me sometimes that just doesn't make logical sense and I don't get what they mean by it. Then later on I'm thinking wait was that an insult? Was it sarcasm? I have no idea.
Don't get me wrong I don't get social anxiety. I beat that out of myself years ago. In some cases I even come across as extroverted.
But the way that girls talk and how some guys are able to come up with these quick witty comebacks... I just don't get it. I can talk for hours about something I know but I feel like there is some angle in social situations that everyone else is seeing and it's invisible to me. I take statements way too logically and miss stuff that other people say is sarcasm. I read witty retorts and exchanges online and I think to myself "how are people coming up with this stuff?" There's just no way I can think of it even when I sit down with pencil and paper and think through an interaction I draw blanks.
I thought that doing enough approaches and enough exposure to being in social situations and groups with other people would reveal this missing piece to me. But it hasn't happened. I lead a really interesting life and have done a lot of cool stuff, I've learned Spanish, travelled to many countries, built businesses etc... but I can't seem to easily extract any cool stories from it to tell people in a way that they're interested in.
I know people say that game is a learned skill but I have been trying to figure this out for a while and I'm at a loss. I'm starting to think that this ability to say funny stuff, ramble about (what seems to me) nonsense in an entertaining way and respond to others comments and digs with little reposts really is something that you are born with or not. Like there is some level of social awareness that I am just missing. I wish it came easy to me, but it doesn't. So I am trying to figure out some way I can learn it but I'm drawing a blank.
Can anyone advise me on this? More approaches is not the answer here, I've tried that already.