Is that seriously written by David Wong or it's just an elaborate hoax? From what I know of the man and Cracked.com in general, none of their staff are capable of writing an article that doesn't have at least 100 instances of the following words: "misogyny", "racism", "colonialism", "oppression" and "bigotry".
"Imagine" by HCE | Hitler reacts to Battle of Montreal | An alternative use for squid that has never crossed your mind before