Quote: (07-31-2016 06:53 AM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:
Quote: (07-30-2016 04:55 PM)debeguiled Wrote:
I have a soft spot in my heart for losers. Even the hostile gammas, who don't appreciate it.
This was always, always my downfall in my teens and and even occassionally in my early twenties. Arrogantly thinking I could help them or elevate them.
However, having compassion for them would always end with them dragging me down in some way or another.
I accepted the harsh reality that losers seem to chose their lot, particularly after dragging myself out of some terrible pits life threw me into via sheer force of will. Now, if I recognize neediness, or dysfunction, or those who expect to be carried on my shoulders when they have perfectly functioning feet, I refuse to let them in. They survive well enough, and realistically, they're happier with their own kind anyway.
It's been a useful rule. However, I let down my guard about 4 years ago with one, thinking I could help him out of his pit. Result: fucked over, big time.
Sometimes it's good to be reminded that our gut instincts are correct.
You and me both man. I use to be a lot more willing to go the extra mile to help losers when I was younger but I don't let them get anywhere near me now.
They just drag you down or fuck you over in the end.
Story time:
A once very good friend of mine who I had known for MANY years called asking for advice on his cunt wife. And when I say cunt wife, I mean the "insulting her husband verbally in public and talking mad shit about him in front of other people" type of cunt wife.
Obviously, he was very blue pill but somehow, someway, he FINALLY was on the verge of walking away after years of ridiculous behavior and actions from his wife. Behavior and actions that made his daily life miserable and affected his ability to have any kind of social life and self-determination. His wife totally owned him in every sense possible. It was disgusting but heartbreaking at the same time to be around and witness since the friend was an otherwise very kind and good person. I knew him during his single years and this was a man living in some kind of bizarro alternate reality hell now. It's a tragic transformation to see happen in real time; the selling of one man's soul to a female devil.
Up until this point (several years of the new wife being in the picture), I had held back from really letting him know how I feel about his awful wife. I threw out some mild dissatisfaction here and there but still largely held back. But since he called me looking for guidance and he sounded like he was ready to be a free man again, I gave him the raw truth.
Ultimately, he agreed with pretty much everything I said and after 2 hours of hashing it out and having a real heart to heart, he sounded committed to finally getting his balls back. I was very excited for my friend; to see him finally break the chains and be free.
About a month later, he suddenly went missing.
All of sudden, he was not answering or returning my calls/texts. We had spoke once or twice briefly about regular stuff since the BIG TALK but nothing of consequence occurred during those conversations. In retrospect, he seemed a bit distant and not laughing as much as usual but it wasn't anything significant or very noteworthy. After ghosting on me, I reached out several times and after several weeks, I got a random text message that just said he was very busy. I knew this was bullshit; this dude was acting like a chick.
My hunch is that he told his wife he was leaving her post-BIG TALK and mentioned some of the things I said. But being a dumbass in the heat of the moment, he cited me by name specifically ("Even The Black Knight thinks you...") and made very clear to her what I said about her. That being: she is a vicious cunt who only cares about herself and my buddy should leave her. Can't take that back.
Now, this wife is a hardcore control freak. I further speculate he caved during the potential divorce argument(s) and his wife told him to never speak to me again or she would leave him. It's a safe bet that she also threaten that if she ever finds evidence of even a text or phone call exchange , she will leave him as well. And I have no doubt she either overtly or covertly was going through his shit to verify if any kind of possible communication was occurring.
At first, I was a bit depressed by the situation. This was one of those guys who you NEVER expected to turn their back on you; especially in such a bitch fashion.
The younger and more inexperienced me would have lashed out; leaving harsh voicemails or trying to get to the bottom of what really happened directly. I contemplated calling his work perhaps to give him some cover to explain his side of the story. But in the end, I did nothing. I walked away.
If a man with whom I've been very fair and loyal to would allow such a vile woman to run his life and ruin our friendship and not even have the courtesy to have a conversation about it, then that man is no friend. That man is simply a loser who accepts a life of drowning in his own shit.
But instead of being filled with anger, I just feel sorry for him when it's all said and done. A man lost to the Blue Pill Bermuda Triangle due to his own arrogance and ignorance of the imminent danger right before him; chasing a mirage of treasure that doesn't really exist. And even when confronted with this reality, lacks the willpower and gumption to steer the ship away from danger, despite it clearly staring him in the face. To watch a Captain lack the courage to admit fault with one's self and correct course as a spectator, is tragic. As a crewman however, it's potentially fatal. I was the crewman but now I'm the spectator. And therefore, I can view things from a more neutral perspective these days.
When it comes to things like this, I've learned via the aforementioned experience and countless others prior, that people generally speaking have to come about and be willing to drive into the right direction on their own accord. You can give people a slight push but nothing more. Anything more just leads to burned bridges and resentment.
As I said earlier, I walked away. No big blowout; no dramatic epic end-of-friendship conservation. I have accepted in situations like this, it's best to let time do the work; if it can do anything at all. Maybe a year or two from now, he will come around one day and escape his horrible wife. It's a big "IF" and I hold no illusions that the odds are very good. Perhaps I'll make a token effort to reach out in a year or two; if only to to satisfy my own curiosity about what actually went down. People, even 4 miles deep in Blue Pill Land today, can still escape years or decades later. I still believe this. But certain bonds have been broken forever. It will never be the same as it once was.
Again, in similar situations prior: I felt a sort of strong sense resentment and betrayal and I would often lash out in anger. Now and since the aforementioned event, I feel oddly comfortable and content with the simple fact that a disloyal blue pill dead weight self-deported himself from my life. I didn't really lose a friend in that moment; he was already long gone.
For some time now, today, and going forward:
I make note to not let certain types of men into my life beyond superficial membership these days. Building years of goodwill and loyalty means nothing to blue pill men, weak men, and men who would ultimately put bad pussy above good friends. Men who lack a foundation of self that is firmly planted into the mantle of the Earth; a foundation that moves for no woman and certainly no twat of a female. These sort of men are not your brothers-in-arms but traitorous vipers who would sell their own gender out for a piece of sub-par ass. They must be recognized, discounted, and disavowed from the get-go; with the same precision, effort, and prejudice that we invest into filtering good from bad women.
In the end, life is too short to waste time on people who don't appreciate you and your limited time on this planet. Those who want respect, give respect. Always and forever.
That's goddamn right.