On the afternoon of my 13th birthday my father asked me to follow him in front of the big full length mirror in the house. He told me that he wanted to show me something that had been passed down in my family for 9 generations and I was the 10th. He stood me in front of the mirror and said…¨Look.¨ After about 5 seconds my eyes and my head were moving around and after about 10 seconds my body began to fidget. My father again said: ¨Look!¨ After about 15 seconds of looking my father then said; ¨Have you lived your day Well?¨ My answer was something like; ¨I think so.¨ After my answer my father continued; ¨As a man, you have a choice to live you day well. You need to look into the mirror each night and ask yourself, ´did I live this day well?´ If you answer no, I did not live this day well then the reason that you did not live your day well is staring at you directly in the mirror and being reflected back to you.¨ He told me to begin that night. When I was standing before the mirror in my bathroom that night, my father came in and faced the mirror with me and he put his arm around me (he was not normally an affectionate man) as he said, ¨I see the man that you will become, what did you see?¨ He walked away and I went to sleep.
The next night, my grandfather called me, this was unusual as we just spoke the day before on my birthday. He asked; ¨Did you live your day well? I gave him a better answer like yes grandfather, I did this and that. He responded ¨good, I am going to call you each evening and ask you.¨ I later found that this was also part of the tradition with the grandfather. One evening, maybe two or 3 weeks later, when I was speaking with my grandfather, I mentioned that I had not lived my day well. He told me to go look in the mirror and that we would talk tomorrow. When I arrived home from school the next day, there was my grandfather (and grandmother) who had driven many hours to spend a few days with us. Later that evening my grandfather stood with me before the mirror and asked; ¨Did you live your day Well?¨ I said; ¨yes grandfather, I lived my day Well.¨ He asked; ¨what was the difference between yesterday and today?¨ I replied with something on the order of this and that in the world. He paused, put his arm around me (he was even more stoic than my father) as we stood together before our reflections and said, ¨The reason that you lived your day Well today, and did not live your day Well yesterday is right there! (pointing at me in the mirror)¨ He took a few steps to the side and let me reflect at my image in the mirror for a few moments. He then said, I expect you, just as I expect your father to do this each day. I turned around and hugged him and said yes grandfather, I promise. For all of the years of their lives when we parted company, we always said, ¨Be Well!¨
I have continued to look into a mirror or window throughout my days and along the way the meaning of living a day Well has deepened compared to that birthday so many decades ago. Now, my birthdays have a more significant meaning as on those days when I look into the mirror I see my father and grandfather with their arm around me as I ponder the man that I have become.
The next night, my grandfather called me, this was unusual as we just spoke the day before on my birthday. He asked; ¨Did you live your day well? I gave him a better answer like yes grandfather, I did this and that. He responded ¨good, I am going to call you each evening and ask you.¨ I later found that this was also part of the tradition with the grandfather. One evening, maybe two or 3 weeks later, when I was speaking with my grandfather, I mentioned that I had not lived my day well. He told me to go look in the mirror and that we would talk tomorrow. When I arrived home from school the next day, there was my grandfather (and grandmother) who had driven many hours to spend a few days with us. Later that evening my grandfather stood with me before the mirror and asked; ¨Did you live your day Well?¨ I said; ¨yes grandfather, I lived my day Well.¨ He asked; ¨what was the difference between yesterday and today?¨ I replied with something on the order of this and that in the world. He paused, put his arm around me (he was even more stoic than my father) as we stood together before our reflections and said, ¨The reason that you lived your day Well today, and did not live your day Well yesterday is right there! (pointing at me in the mirror)¨ He took a few steps to the side and let me reflect at my image in the mirror for a few moments. He then said, I expect you, just as I expect your father to do this each day. I turned around and hugged him and said yes grandfather, I promise. For all of the years of their lives when we parted company, we always said, ¨Be Well!¨
I have continued to look into a mirror or window throughout my days and along the way the meaning of living a day Well has deepened compared to that birthday so many decades ago. Now, my birthdays have a more significant meaning as on those days when I look into the mirror I see my father and grandfather with their arm around me as I ponder the man that I have become.