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(03-17-2016 04:39 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(03-17-2016 03:21 PM)AccF428 Wrote:  

(03-17-2016 02:05 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  

Yeah keeping your emotions in check is critical in these situation, hell in any crisis for that matter. See that's the one thing, all women are highly emotional so if you keep your emotions in check and she sees that, her emotions go wild and crazy. Subconsciously, they'll see they're not affecting you with their bs and their hamster wheel spins out of control. All of a sudden you have power over them and they won't know what hit them.

As I've said, I've put my soon to be ex through hell just by not giving a shit and keeping my emotions in check. Whenever I did feel angry or upset, I never showed it, I just ate it. Worked well so far and it's been 19 months of this.

That's precisely what happened! Just on January 28th she was telling me to think about therapy, and after rejecting her, she was telling me to think about it, and reassured me that she'll still be open to it were I to change my mind. I contact her a couple of weeks later, and then she was telling me the ship sailed. I went crazy, and she was as cold as ice. Bitch told me to meditate, and take a couple of months off before dating someone new, unlike her. I don't think I'll ever forget that lesson.

Never engage in any conversation where someone is telling you where to go or what you need to do.

That's very good advice. The whole thing is like a dance between two people. She get's you worked up, you react, you do something to get her worked up, she reacts, etc. And the dance ensues.

What you want to do is stop the dance altogether. You do this by not engaging with her anymore. Thing is, once you stop engaging, she will up the ante and say/do something even more outrageous to get you to engage.

You have to resist the temptation. Don't respond to her threatening emails/texts/phone calls. That is her invitation to dance. If you must respond, do it in a sentence and business-like.

Eventually she will give up. As they say, it takes two to tango and if you decide not to dance anymore she will be left all by herself.

If you stop engaging and become cool, collected, and business-oriented in your relation to her, I wouldn't be surprised if she then finds you attractive again and tries to get you back into a relationship with her. Not saying she will, but it's a possibility.

Also not saying you should get back together with her if she does either. That shouldn't be the goal.

You will be amazed how much power you will gain over her and for yourself by mastering the art of not engaging.