Quote: (03-07-2016 10:04 PM)getdownonit Wrote:
Quote: (03-06-2016 01:54 PM)Baldrich Wrote:
Yep -- I totally agree that you don't see SJW's parroting it as much (but I don't think that's necessarily a compliment on Spain but rather they don't really fight for much of anything). If you even get really deep into a debate here (there is really no strong debate culture) people think you are being either angry or try to change the subject. At a surface level they don't usually deal with anything too deep and for most it becomes uncomfortable.
I loved this line because I agree 100%:
"We generally have low risk tolerance and prefer stable, boring lives. It's quite easy to stand out as being a bit "adventurous" and crazy by doing things that wouldn't be considered that weird in other places (e.g travelling a lot, speaking many languages, starting conversations with strangers, not caring about other people's opinion...etc)"
THIS. That's how most people know I wasn't born here...because I speak like a "native" and don't stand out like a "guiri" but when they look at my life story, which isn't too remarkable in a place like the USA or the UK, the people find it either fascinating or just plain "risky" or they just don't understand it. One question I used to get a lot in Madrid was this:
"When are you planning on returning to the US"? And me: Err....never...not to live anyway. In order for me to live in the USA I would have to get a much much better deal than what I currently get living here. Catalans on the other hand tend to travel a bit more than most other Spaniards. But they would be really surprised in many parts of Spain that I am an independent man. They're not used to that.
I second this, I've often noticed this sort of sentiment against independence or success. It can be subtle, but it's a block between the two of you and prevents them from seeing you as one of them. Part of this is due to strong family and cultural ties in Spain, but if you've been abroad for any length of time that's going to define you forever and make it harder to become a part of that social circle.
It's surprising to me when it comes from cosmopolitan Barcelonins who have come from all over Spain and have way less of those connections, other than the hardcore Catalan nationalists of course who are always going to view you as an outsider. Not too many of those in Barcelona really, but head out in the country to Vic or somewhere and enjoy the craziness. A British friend of mine, who's been in Barcelona for years, ex-wife berated him because their daughter talked to him in Spanish on the phone. It's not feminism but still not an ideal foundation for a healthy marriage.
Galicia is great for more traditional women, but far from perfect. It would be time consuming trying to find women:
Demographics aren't in your favor - older population, net migration out of Galicia, population is very spread out
Feminism and leftism increasing as the population becomes more urban
Relatively few immigrants, which is fine if you're goal is Spanish women
Harder to break into social scene - people don't move around much and have the same social groups for many years
Vigo and A Coruña are population 300,000 each with big universities. There are many second tier cities with more traditional values and connection to the land. It depends what you're looking for.
I've visited other parts of Spain but have only lived in those two
Yes, that's how it is. It's something that runs so deep here in fact that even BORN AND RAISED Spaniards who go abroad for a long time tend to be called foreigners. Like, for example, a guy who leaves Spain and goes off to live in London gets called "el inglés". It's, as you say...subtle but you always get little cues that you aren't "one of them" or stupid reminders that are totally stereotypical and irrelevant. For example, you're sitting at a restaurant reading the menu....when one of the people at your table says "oh look, they have hamburgers! Doesn't that make you nostalgic for the US"? They seem to think that everyone in the US has a gun and eats hamburgers. It can be very frustrating at times because Spaniards are "fashion victims" and go by stereotypes almost 100% of the time and if a majority of their friends think a certain way, so will they. Like I've said and others, there really is no independent style people in this country and those that are are typically shunned early on.
However, I've gotten less stupid questions like that from Catalans. Madrid was by far the worst. I mean, the nationalism you will get in Vic or other places in rural Catalonia is pretty accepting if you wish to join it...but I agree it can be closed off in other ways especially if you have no connection to Catalonia.
Yes, Galicia is a bit more traditional for women...but it can also be a very depressing place to live (and Galicians also say this...the ones who leave that place, anyway).
I like Galicia but only for a little short time...I am more of a Mediterranean style guy and prefer Eastern Spain...the "Levante" as they say...for me it is the most open minded (in a good way) and at the same time manages to be sufficiently cultural to make it worthwhile. As for women...even though it's tough in all of Spain, any man who is confident, REALLY confident, has a good job and can speak well...Spanish especially....can do it. You just have to be determined to do so if your objective is a Spanish woman. For me, I prefer focusing on Northern European women living here.