New member here. I joined last month at the behest of a couple friends who've been members for a while. I'm not exactly sure what the protocol is here for introductions, but I figure this is as good a place as any to make one.
I've called SZ home for a little over 4 years now. My first stay in The Middle Kingdom was about 13 years ago, in Wuhan. I lived there for a little over a year, returned home, and ended up back in China, in Shenzhen, in late '11. Anyone who's been here for any length of time will tell you what a difference 10 years can make.
I could go on at length about details of the city, but it looks like most of you guys have done a fairly thorough job of that and, from what I've read, there's not a whole lot I can add to it. There are a few things I can point to that might veer a bit off the standard trail though.
Living and accommodations:
I've lived in the same neighborhood since I moved here back in '11. It's not far from IKEA, near the mountain. I know most people prefer to live closer to activity epicenters such as Coco Park and Sea World, but I personally find those type of areas to be crowded, overpriced, and lacking in interesting talent. That said, I prefer to live rather low key, so this neighborhood suits me well. It's quiet (so much so that at night your ears actually ring from the silence), relatively clean, breezy, and friendlier than most (outside of the migrant construction workers that are ubiquitous to every neighborhood). It's also extremely affordable living. I've moved twice in the past 4 years and my rent still hasn't topped ¥4000. That's not to say I didn't have to do a little work to make the places suit my tastes, but I've been lucky to have landlords that weren't complete scumbags and would work with me to get the place to a standard I felt was acceptable (I'll explain more about that at the end, as an addendum for those who want to stick it out long-term here).
Juicy bits (a.k.a. The Hot Spots):
As I mentioned, everyone else has done a damn good job of detailing the spots for the best talent. Others may disagree with me, but I've found China to be a place that is less about scouting, and more about making yourself visibly presentable to be scouted. I don't venture out as much as I used to (Getting old, getting married, and focusing on health and fitness). That said, even when I did, I would frequent more chill places. I did do the Coco/Shekou thing in the first few months here, but it got old, fast. I started searching for low key places and found a lot of great spots in the OCT Loft/Bay area. My favorite place, though, quickly became a small, open air spot next to Window of the World called Jazz Garden. Which brings me back to the "being scouted" vs "scouting" thing I mentioned earlier.
The women that frequent these types of places are much more of the office lady, upwardly mobile, and/or professional types. They have much more disposable income than most of the weekend warriors you see out at Coco and Shekou. They're also a bit more discerning when it comes to what they're looking for. That said, for the most part, they are no less hot-to-trot. For me, I dress like I care about myself, put a smile on my face, develop a rapport with the staff, and then sit back and let things roll. Give yourself 30 minutes to an hour, and if people aren't chatting you up, but the vibe is upbeat, start working the room. Almost every time, you'll end up at a table full of talent, and often free drinks as well. After that, it's just a matter of conversation skills. A decent command of Mandarin will almost always seal the deal, but don't worry, because most of them will likely speak a decent amount of English, enough to make things interesting. Don't be afraid to play the dice/hand drinking games they throw at you. Use it as an opportunity to practice your poker face and hone in on whichever one is in your sights.
In these situations, one particular rule I personally try to stick to is this: If you're invited to sit down at a table full of girls, don't pay for drinks, chat them up until they offer. They are accustomed to having their night bought and paid for when they do that, and I've found that when you don't, it throws them off balance. That said, if they don't offer, they are not interested. However, 9/10 times, if they invite you to sit down, they are inviting you to drink. Flipside of that, if you're invited to sit down at a table full of guys, wait till they offer you a drink, and then buy a round/pitcher. The reason I mention the guys is twofold. One, you'll meet some interesting people, have some laughs, and some drinks. Two, if the place is relatively empty, being at the live table not only draws attention, but it's almost guaranteed that at some point those guys are going to start chatting up other girls, or even blatently dragging them over to chat with you. It's happened to me more times not, and every time I got numbers, WeChats, QQs, and invites to go out to much more actively talented places that same night and/or other nights.
(Edit: Forgot to mention)
If the table is mixed company, wait a round or two and then offer to buy a round. There's a grey area between greedy and gratuitous. When in mixed company, it's better to lean a just a bit towards the latter. Just don't let yourself get caught up in the "who's paying" nonsense. It's an annoying distraction from the main goal.
Avoid closing staff/employees of places you like to frequent. One, should it go bad, it narrows the field of places to go. Two, it's just bad form, especially if you actually enjoy the place and have a good relationship with the owner. It's simple, don't shit where you eat.
If you absolutely must have a balls-to-the-wall, do it 'till you can't or you fall, kind of night, then I suggest going further away from city center. Personally, for anonymity's sake, I prefer to go either to "Le Chao" in Luohu, or just about anywhere in Xili. I know a lot of expats knock the typical Chinese dance/disco bar scene, but, when used sparingly, they are a nice break from the norm. Again, use spots like these sparingly, as they will quickly suck you into that "sleep all day, party all night" lifestyle. Talent wise, they are about the same as Coco/Shekou, but the foreign cache is much higher since they are further from city center and less frequented by foreigners.
Comparing the two styles, I've found that the low key places attract more modern women who are self-sufficient, curious, and open to possibilities; while the club/disco girls are working class country girls who've thrown on a slutty veneer for the night to see what they can catch. The former being rather wild in bed, the latter not being much more than a whiney sack of potatoes with a hole punched in it.
So, TL;DR:
Hit up the low key places. Dress like you care. Be social. Be affable. The rest is a downhill sprint.
As for closing. It's all been said here. Your home is almost always a no-go for a first timer. Find a cheap spa hotel. They're everywhere.
Day Game:
I'll make this short. I've seen a lot of guys talk about the difficulty of day game in China. In my experience, two things knock the legs right out from under that problem. Put a smile on your face and learn some basic Mandarin. Your day game difficulty will drop from a 9 to a 3 on a scale of 1-10. If you really want to stack the deck in your favor, pick a Mando-Pop song and memorize it from start to finish. Break that puppy out in a group, at the bar, at KTV. Boom. Glossy eyes. Weak knees. Game over.
It'll also help create a positive feedback loop for your confidence level as well. The more you practice your Mandarin, and belt out some songs in Mandarin, the more confident you'll feel. That confidence will pay dividends down the road. Speaking of which...
Long-termers:
This part could go on for days, but I'll condense it down to a few short points. If any of you have questions or want more detail, I can add more later.
If anyone is here or coming here with long-term plans in mind, there are some serious points to start working on immediately. First, as previously mentioned, Mandarin. You gotta make the effort. Otherwise you'll find yourself quite limited in what you can do alone. The flexibility afforded by having even a passing grasp of Mandarin is well worth the few months of embarrassment from making speaking mistakes. Get your ass outside and start talking to people, as much as possible. If you plan to make any sort of career advancements or do any business here, being able to carry yourself confidently in conversation, even if it isn't perfect, will pay off big time down the road.
Likewise, if you're going to be here for the long haul, it's best that you pick a neighborhood you like and plant your feet. I got lucky and found mine when my feet hit the ground. You may have to shuffle around a bit till you find one, but the sooner you do, and the sooner you start making your face a regular sight in the community, the better and more comfortable your life will be. Your neighbors, local shop owners, and even the local police will see you more as a fixture than a transient laowai, and that kind of trust goes a LONG way here.
Per the landlord note I mentioned earlier, don't be afraid to try talking to your landlord directly. Sure, some of them are just money collecting scumbags, but you won't know until you try. As I mentioned before, I've been lucky enough to have landlords that allowed me to make adjustments, some small (shelves, racks, etc.), some big (rip out a closet, replace light fixtures, etc.), and take it out of my rent. I've been able to turn both of my places from dilapidated concrete shells into something I would even consider renting back home. The key, I've found, is to mention it during the lease signing phase. If they go for it, you're golden. Then you can make whatever adjustments you want (within reason), and then send the landlord the fapiao (receipt). They love this because it feels like they aren't spending money on the place, and they can turn around and rent the place for more when you move out. Since most people here treat rental property like a rock-star in a hotel room, more often than not, they are just surprised to have a tenant that actually gives a shit about the place. Just maintain your relationship with them, that way they don't try to price gouge you when the time comes to resign the lease.
On that note, if that is the direction you're heading, I would highly suggest not turning your home into a revolving door of women. Eyes will see, ears will hear, and words will be shared amongst everyone in the community, should you choose to do so. This will greatly diminish your credibility in the neighborhood. It would be in your best interest to have a steady that comes to your home, and keep your nightlies in another part of town. I'm not suggesting you run out and get hitched, but if you're planning on living comfortably here for a while, you gotta keep you're nose clean. Which brings me to my final point...
Due to recent events in Shenzhen, and China at large, regarding illicit substances, popular high volume dance clubs/bars being blocked by piss-test checkpoints, and unlicensed outdoor parties being raided, I would highly suggest that, and this goes for short and long termers, if you have any proclivities towards such things, now might be the time to dial things back a bit, give your body a chemical break, and find yourself frequenting less rowdy, more laid back venues such as the ones I mentioned earlier. Personally, this is not something I have to worry about, but I know a lot of people come here and get lost in the party free-for-all. Well, that party is rapidly coming to an end.
You can still have fun, just don't be an asshat expat, and keep your piss clean.
If you want specific details about where I live, neighborhood names, etc., pm me.
I've called SZ home for a little over 4 years now. My first stay in The Middle Kingdom was about 13 years ago, in Wuhan. I lived there for a little over a year, returned home, and ended up back in China, in Shenzhen, in late '11. Anyone who's been here for any length of time will tell you what a difference 10 years can make.
I could go on at length about details of the city, but it looks like most of you guys have done a fairly thorough job of that and, from what I've read, there's not a whole lot I can add to it. There are a few things I can point to that might veer a bit off the standard trail though.
Living and accommodations:
I've lived in the same neighborhood since I moved here back in '11. It's not far from IKEA, near the mountain. I know most people prefer to live closer to activity epicenters such as Coco Park and Sea World, but I personally find those type of areas to be crowded, overpriced, and lacking in interesting talent. That said, I prefer to live rather low key, so this neighborhood suits me well. It's quiet (so much so that at night your ears actually ring from the silence), relatively clean, breezy, and friendlier than most (outside of the migrant construction workers that are ubiquitous to every neighborhood). It's also extremely affordable living. I've moved twice in the past 4 years and my rent still hasn't topped ¥4000. That's not to say I didn't have to do a little work to make the places suit my tastes, but I've been lucky to have landlords that weren't complete scumbags and would work with me to get the place to a standard I felt was acceptable (I'll explain more about that at the end, as an addendum for those who want to stick it out long-term here).
Juicy bits (a.k.a. The Hot Spots):
As I mentioned, everyone else has done a damn good job of detailing the spots for the best talent. Others may disagree with me, but I've found China to be a place that is less about scouting, and more about making yourself visibly presentable to be scouted. I don't venture out as much as I used to (Getting old, getting married, and focusing on health and fitness). That said, even when I did, I would frequent more chill places. I did do the Coco/Shekou thing in the first few months here, but it got old, fast. I started searching for low key places and found a lot of great spots in the OCT Loft/Bay area. My favorite place, though, quickly became a small, open air spot next to Window of the World called Jazz Garden. Which brings me back to the "being scouted" vs "scouting" thing I mentioned earlier.
The women that frequent these types of places are much more of the office lady, upwardly mobile, and/or professional types. They have much more disposable income than most of the weekend warriors you see out at Coco and Shekou. They're also a bit more discerning when it comes to what they're looking for. That said, for the most part, they are no less hot-to-trot. For me, I dress like I care about myself, put a smile on my face, develop a rapport with the staff, and then sit back and let things roll. Give yourself 30 minutes to an hour, and if people aren't chatting you up, but the vibe is upbeat, start working the room. Almost every time, you'll end up at a table full of talent, and often free drinks as well. After that, it's just a matter of conversation skills. A decent command of Mandarin will almost always seal the deal, but don't worry, because most of them will likely speak a decent amount of English, enough to make things interesting. Don't be afraid to play the dice/hand drinking games they throw at you. Use it as an opportunity to practice your poker face and hone in on whichever one is in your sights.
In these situations, one particular rule I personally try to stick to is this: If you're invited to sit down at a table full of girls, don't pay for drinks, chat them up until they offer. They are accustomed to having their night bought and paid for when they do that, and I've found that when you don't, it throws them off balance. That said, if they don't offer, they are not interested. However, 9/10 times, if they invite you to sit down, they are inviting you to drink. Flipside of that, if you're invited to sit down at a table full of guys, wait till they offer you a drink, and then buy a round/pitcher. The reason I mention the guys is twofold. One, you'll meet some interesting people, have some laughs, and some drinks. Two, if the place is relatively empty, being at the live table not only draws attention, but it's almost guaranteed that at some point those guys are going to start chatting up other girls, or even blatently dragging them over to chat with you. It's happened to me more times not, and every time I got numbers, WeChats, QQs, and invites to go out to much more actively talented places that same night and/or other nights.
(Edit: Forgot to mention)
If the table is mixed company, wait a round or two and then offer to buy a round. There's a grey area between greedy and gratuitous. When in mixed company, it's better to lean a just a bit towards the latter. Just don't let yourself get caught up in the "who's paying" nonsense. It's an annoying distraction from the main goal.
Avoid closing staff/employees of places you like to frequent. One, should it go bad, it narrows the field of places to go. Two, it's just bad form, especially if you actually enjoy the place and have a good relationship with the owner. It's simple, don't shit where you eat.
If you absolutely must have a balls-to-the-wall, do it 'till you can't or you fall, kind of night, then I suggest going further away from city center. Personally, for anonymity's sake, I prefer to go either to "Le Chao" in Luohu, or just about anywhere in Xili. I know a lot of expats knock the typical Chinese dance/disco bar scene, but, when used sparingly, they are a nice break from the norm. Again, use spots like these sparingly, as they will quickly suck you into that "sleep all day, party all night" lifestyle. Talent wise, they are about the same as Coco/Shekou, but the foreign cache is much higher since they are further from city center and less frequented by foreigners.
Comparing the two styles, I've found that the low key places attract more modern women who are self-sufficient, curious, and open to possibilities; while the club/disco girls are working class country girls who've thrown on a slutty veneer for the night to see what they can catch. The former being rather wild in bed, the latter not being much more than a whiney sack of potatoes with a hole punched in it.
So, TL;DR:
Hit up the low key places. Dress like you care. Be social. Be affable. The rest is a downhill sprint.
As for closing. It's all been said here. Your home is almost always a no-go for a first timer. Find a cheap spa hotel. They're everywhere.
Day Game:
I'll make this short. I've seen a lot of guys talk about the difficulty of day game in China. In my experience, two things knock the legs right out from under that problem. Put a smile on your face and learn some basic Mandarin. Your day game difficulty will drop from a 9 to a 3 on a scale of 1-10. If you really want to stack the deck in your favor, pick a Mando-Pop song and memorize it from start to finish. Break that puppy out in a group, at the bar, at KTV. Boom. Glossy eyes. Weak knees. Game over.
It'll also help create a positive feedback loop for your confidence level as well. The more you practice your Mandarin, and belt out some songs in Mandarin, the more confident you'll feel. That confidence will pay dividends down the road. Speaking of which...
Long-termers:
This part could go on for days, but I'll condense it down to a few short points. If any of you have questions or want more detail, I can add more later.
If anyone is here or coming here with long-term plans in mind, there are some serious points to start working on immediately. First, as previously mentioned, Mandarin. You gotta make the effort. Otherwise you'll find yourself quite limited in what you can do alone. The flexibility afforded by having even a passing grasp of Mandarin is well worth the few months of embarrassment from making speaking mistakes. Get your ass outside and start talking to people, as much as possible. If you plan to make any sort of career advancements or do any business here, being able to carry yourself confidently in conversation, even if it isn't perfect, will pay off big time down the road.
Likewise, if you're going to be here for the long haul, it's best that you pick a neighborhood you like and plant your feet. I got lucky and found mine when my feet hit the ground. You may have to shuffle around a bit till you find one, but the sooner you do, and the sooner you start making your face a regular sight in the community, the better and more comfortable your life will be. Your neighbors, local shop owners, and even the local police will see you more as a fixture than a transient laowai, and that kind of trust goes a LONG way here.
Per the landlord note I mentioned earlier, don't be afraid to try talking to your landlord directly. Sure, some of them are just money collecting scumbags, but you won't know until you try. As I mentioned before, I've been lucky enough to have landlords that allowed me to make adjustments, some small (shelves, racks, etc.), some big (rip out a closet, replace light fixtures, etc.), and take it out of my rent. I've been able to turn both of my places from dilapidated concrete shells into something I would even consider renting back home. The key, I've found, is to mention it during the lease signing phase. If they go for it, you're golden. Then you can make whatever adjustments you want (within reason), and then send the landlord the fapiao (receipt). They love this because it feels like they aren't spending money on the place, and they can turn around and rent the place for more when you move out. Since most people here treat rental property like a rock-star in a hotel room, more often than not, they are just surprised to have a tenant that actually gives a shit about the place. Just maintain your relationship with them, that way they don't try to price gouge you when the time comes to resign the lease.
On that note, if that is the direction you're heading, I would highly suggest not turning your home into a revolving door of women. Eyes will see, ears will hear, and words will be shared amongst everyone in the community, should you choose to do so. This will greatly diminish your credibility in the neighborhood. It would be in your best interest to have a steady that comes to your home, and keep your nightlies in another part of town. I'm not suggesting you run out and get hitched, but if you're planning on living comfortably here for a while, you gotta keep you're nose clean. Which brings me to my final point...
Due to recent events in Shenzhen, and China at large, regarding illicit substances, popular high volume dance clubs/bars being blocked by piss-test checkpoints, and unlicensed outdoor parties being raided, I would highly suggest that, and this goes for short and long termers, if you have any proclivities towards such things, now might be the time to dial things back a bit, give your body a chemical break, and find yourself frequenting less rowdy, more laid back venues such as the ones I mentioned earlier. Personally, this is not something I have to worry about, but I know a lot of people come here and get lost in the party free-for-all. Well, that party is rapidly coming to an end.
You can still have fun, just don't be an asshat expat, and keep your piss clean.
If you want specific details about where I live, neighborhood names, etc., pm me.